Book Review: Nancy Pelosi's, Going Rouge

Satire by John W. Lillpop

In an obvious attempt to upstage Governor Sarah Palin and her fabulously successful Going Rogue, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has entered the book selling fray with her bleeding heart autobiography, appropriately titled Going Rouge.

While Governor Palin’s book is a rehashing of mundane political experiences from the 2008 presidential campaign, Pelosi’s book is more intellectually stimulating as it is describes the economic, social, and physical challenges that the most powerful woman in America faces in her never-ending journey to mask her 69 years with a lethal combination of botox and prescription cosmetics.

Pelosi provides a fascinating, but heartbreaking, account of her daily regime which requires her to get out of bed at 3am in order to complete her rouge routine which takes five hours to complete.

While Going Rogue is billed as a non-partisan, non-political work, Pelosi does stray a bit when it comes to promoting the trillion dollar health care reform bill that recently passed the House.

According to Pelosi, all women have a constitutional right to look as young as possible regardless of the costs involved, or impact on the federal deficit.

“Looking young is an essential part of the American Dream for women,” Pelosi contends in Fight Wrinkles, Not Foreign Wars, a controversial chapter in which the Speaker takes on President Obama and his Afghanistan war.

Pelosi believes that hundreds of billions of dollars being spent to kill innocent Muslims overseas should be diverted to providing “on-demand” wrinkle removal surgeries for poor women of color, especially those who speak no English and are in America illegally.

Pelosi proudly admits that the health care reform bill passed by the House provides unlimited botox and cosmetic surgery for twenty million old hags that are denied the opportunity to look young because of racism and bigotry.

Covering those twenty million hags under the public option advocated by Pelosi would significantly reduce the cost of being beautiful in America and would take a huge chunk out of the federal deficit as well, according to the Speaker.

Summary: A good read for those who enjoy the rants and raves of a mediocre mind devastated by botox poisoning. Not recommended for those with known self-esteem problems or a history of mental issues.

Greater Threat to America: Osama bin Laden or Glenn Beck?

By John W. Lillpop

It appears as though President Obama has reneged on his campaign promise to conduct a relentless search for Osama bin Laden.

Indeed, one could reasonably conclude that OBL is no longer atop the Enemies List maintained in the Richard M. Nixon war room (formerly known as the Oval Office), said distinction now reserved for Glenn Beck and FOXNEWS

But why? What is it about Glenn Beck that sends a rage up and down the leg of the most powerful man on the planet?

Maybe it is because Glenn Beck is a conservative Mormon with a highly-developed sixth sense when it comes to spotting inept Marxists posing as Democrats? And Beck's pedestrian compulsion to share the truth. wherever it leads, would surely offend America's black reincarnation of Richard M. Nixon.

Or perhaps it is something about Beck's lily-white skin and short blond hair that sends President Obama into a manic explosion every time the FOXNEWS host has the audacity to exercise his right to free speech by exposing another Obama failure?

Whatever the cause, President Obama's vendetta against FOXNEWS and Beck has become a huge embarrassment to Democrats, and is an issue of grave concern to political experts who understand the importance of a free press in a democratic society.

Obama's recent attempt to turn mainstream media against FOXNEWS set off alarm bells in the minds of even the most liberal journalists, as demonstrated by their resounding rejection of the president's foolish foray into dictatorial politics.

With all due respect, it seems perfectly clear that our Special Olympics President needs to focus all of his energies and wit on those who would gladly maim and kill millions of Americans, rather obsessing over the rants of a man known as 'Mad Man' by Time Magazine!

Lest We Forget: America's 'Greatest Senator' Had an Owl in His Closet

John W. Lillpop

Lest We Forget: America's 'Greatest Senator' Had an Owl in His Closet

Now that all the lying and hyperbole over the greatness of Senator Ted Kennedy have subsided, it is time to turn off the BS machine and resume the relentless search for truth.

During his life, the mainstream media crowned Teddy Kennedy as a White Prince in shining armor when it came to issues important to women. He was the Liberator, the Advocate, the Defender, and a father figure to tens of millions of confused females who bought into liberal misinformation.

In fact, Kennedy was a flaming hypocrite.

For example, three years ago, the favorite son of bartenders all across Washington, D C., attempted to paint Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito as a bigoted racist, owing to the nominee’s membership in a conservative alumni group at Princeton.

Predictably, Kennedy’s witch-hunt for intolerance came up empty. Glory be to God, however, because the ruse actually boomeranged on Kennedy who, it turns out, had diversity skeletons stinking up his own closet.

Indeed, the leftist champion of female everything was a member of Owls, an intolerant All Boys club at Harvard University that did not admit women.

Why? Simply because they were women!

As it turns out, all those fire and brimstone sermons from Kennedy about equality and tolerance were nothing more than alcohol-blasted hot air from a male chauvinist hypocrite.

In the end, though, Kennedy tried to do the right thing.

He quit Owls, blamed campus Republicans for the misogynist enterprise, and sent $5.00 to the Mary Jo Kopechne memorial fund.

Should Obama Be Entrusted With Control of the www?

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Senator Jay Rockefeller of West Virginia has enough money to demand and receive the best psychological care available anywhere on the planet. So, perhaps it is Rockefeller pride that keeps the senator from admitting that he has a problem and seeking immediate help from top mental health professionals?

Owing to Rockefeller's overly ferocious pride, this disturbed senator continues to participate in the mis-governance of America, his latest "contribution" being a proposed Senate bill that would give Barack Obama control of the Internet. *

Proponents of this Orwellian nonsense seek to dull the pain of such an idea by pointing out that the bill would confer such control only in emergency situations and only on a temporary basis.

Of course, with Team Obama in charge, Emergency could be defined as anything from plummeting approval ratings to town hall meetings disrupted by goofy right-wing extremists operating under the absurd delusion that the First and Second Amendments are still in force.

Temporary could mean until the next election, which Obama could rig (like he did in 2008) by putting ACORN fraud specialists in charge of the World Wide Web.

And with the U.S. Congress in the hands of folks like Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, there is not, and never will be, any oversight of the Obama monarchy-messiahship.

Apart from the outrageous idea of granting even more power to government over the lives of once free Americans, Rockefeller's folly is particularly offensive in light of the current president.

After all, in just seven plus months, President Obama has managed to rack up more federal deficit than George W. Bush did in eight years. Obama has driven the American automobile industry into bankruptcy, his policies have devastated the U.S. economy and any hope for a recovery.

Obama has transformed the war on terror into a full frontal assault on the CIA and those (wildly successful) measures implemented by George W. Bush to keep America safe from terrorist attack.

This president has turned GITMO into a staging area for Jihad terrorists awaiting their next assignment from Osama bin Laden.

He has single-handedly changed USA from United States of America to United States of Apologies.

Our first African-American president, working in the post-racism era, has exacerbated racial tensions with truly "stupid" remarks about a white police officer simply doing his job.

All in all, Barack Obama has been the worst president in U.S. history, about which he knows next to nothing and respects not one whit.

Which begs this question: Why turn control over the most profound communications tool in human history to a man whose sole success to date has to slaughter a common house fly on national television? After a long and vicious struggle in which the damn fly nearly prevailed?


*http://news.cnet.com/the-iconoclast/?tag=rb_content;overviewHead

Diversity: The Forgotten Mandate in White House Hiring

By John W. Lillpop

Diversity is the undisputed Holy Grail of the left especially in hiring practices. It trumps experience, talent, work skills, and all other objective measurements of qualifications, at least in the muddled minds of liberals.

Why, then, does President Obama continue to hire journalists only from the left side of the universe?

As reported at newsbusters.com, in part:

"Daren Briscoe, a Newsweek correspondent who was embedded with Barack Obama's 2008 presidential campaign, has taken a job with the Obama administration, according to an email sent to a lists of his classmates at the Columbia University's Graduate School of Journalism.

"The email, written by Time reporter and fellow Columbia grad Jay Newton-Small, said Briscoe would be serving as deputy associate director of public affairs for the Office of National Drug Control Policy as of Monday.

"Despite his multiple basketball games with our commander-in-chief, he always brought a skeptical eye to his work and in conversations about the candidate," Newton-Small wrote the email. "

By looking only to the left, President Obama is overlooking some very talented journalists whose perspective is more conservative.

A partial list of conservative luminaries includes:

Jonah Goldberg
Joseph Farah
Judi Mcleod
Rich Lowry
Pat Buchanan
Tony Blankley
Charles Krauthammer
Ann Coulter
Michelle Malkin


Adding any one of these professionals would provide Obama with some much needed fairness and balance in an administration dominated by left wing hillbillies like Robert Gibbs.

Hell, some of the younger conservatives (like Michelle Malkin) might even agree to shoot hoops with Obama and, regardless of the outcome, would be objectively to the right.

After all, Mr. President, "diversity is our greatest strength," is it not?

Can Obama's "Suds Diplomacy" Heal the Gates-Crowley Row?

By John W. Lillpop

In handling the Professor Gates arrest crisis, President Barack Obama is showing that he is indeed the master of CHANGE, although not always for the good.

After shooting himself in the feet by labeling the Cambridge Police as "stupid" for actually enforcing the law, the president decided to extinguish the national firestorm that he ignited by applying a shot or so of his fabled diplomacy to the situation.

As reported, in part, at the Huffingtonpost, Obama has invited Professor Henry Gates and police sergeant James Crowley to meet at the White House for round one of "suds diplomacy," which may be the most potent tool in the president's racial healing bag:

"There are several reports that the beer diplomacy between President Obama, Cambridge police sergeant James Crowley and Henry Louis Gates Jr. will take place on Thursday.

"The Boston Globe reports: Charles Ogletree, one of Gates's lawyers, tells the Globe that the meeting will be on Thursday and that both Crowley and Gates can bring family members. The White House would not immediately confirm those details."

"When President Obama said last week that the whole incident involving Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Sgt. James Crowley of the Cambridge police department could be worked out over a beer at the White House, he wasn't speaking figuratively. CNN is reporting today that the White House has confirmed that the president is to meet with the two men this week to do just that.

"As Press Secretary Robert Gibbs explained on "Fox News Sunday," "the president believes this can be a teachable moment." And what better way to begin putting things in perspective in the dog days of summer than to serve a cold beer.

"As for drink orders, CNN says Obama will be having a Bud and Crowley a Blue Moon. No word yet on Gates' beverage of choice."

BREAKING NEWS: This reporter has learned that Professor Gates will order "sour grapes" as his drink of choice, a most appropriate selection given the professor's radical views.

Meanwhile, the White House has announced that President Obama has started work on a new book titled, "The Audacity of Booze: Inspired Teaching Methods for Post-Racial America," with release scheduled for November.

A steal at $75 a copy for registered Democrats, $3,240 for Republicans.

Sgt. Crowley is not being left out in the cold, either.

The arresting office is reportedly considering a multiple million-dollar offer to be the "tell all" writer of a scathing documentary, titled "How an Innocent Irish Cop Was Driven to Alcoholism by the US President," a 90-minute special scheduled for release as soon as an innocent Irish cop can be located for the lead!

Now, just who was it that said that Barack Obama is a naive, inexperienced community organizer?

Should Citizens Be Forced Into HMOs In order to Cover Illegal Aliens?

By John W. Lillpop

Have liberals lost their collective minds? Perhaps the thrill of having unchecked power has made Democrats oblivious to common sense and reasonable thought?

Whatever the cause, most Democrats, including President Obama, seem intoxicated by their own press clippings and intent on pushing liberal insanity to the max.

For instance, the grotesque health care reform bill in the US House would force hundreds of millions of American citizens into inferior, HMO-type health care in order to cover tens of millions of illegal aliens.

Illegal aliens who have no right to even be in America, much less cared for at the expense of American citizens!

How in the hell can such idiotic thinking originate with any party other than the Communist Party of the United States (CPUS)?

Even more profound, why in the hell is the president of the United States supporting such reform at a time when the national economy is in free fall and the national deficit has exploded as a result of his reckless spending mistakes?

If President Obama and his leftist supporters really cared about American citizens, they would secure our borders and deport every last illegal alien.

To provide health care benefits to invading criminals would be utterly stupid, and would only invite another 20 million or so to invade and our nation.

Wake up President Obama and liberals everywhere: We don't need no stinkin' health care for illegal aliens!

Kick illegal aliens out and focus on protecting and meeting the needs of American citizens, or face deportation from elective office at the hands of American citizens!

Gay Exorcism: A Spiritual Approach to Sexuality

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Regardless of which side you come down on the issue of homosexuality, it is undeniable that romances featuring Tom and Fred and Kathy and Sarah make things one hell of a lot more complicated.

Its "free will" gone mad, in my humble view.

From my right wing extremist mind set, why not leave things as they were when Adam and Eve fell in lust after a snake talked to Eve in the Garden of Eden?

Note that the whole concept of marriage and being manacled to one person for eternity originated with a damn snake who snookered a dizzy broad!

Things were so much less complicated back then. No need for Proposition 8 to define marriage, or a silly Defense of Marriage Act at the federal level.

Marriage was supposed to be between a dude and dudess, and everyone accepted that.

Historically, relations between the sexes started their descent to hell in a hand basket at precisely 139 AM, EST, on July 19, 1969.

At that very moment, a completely drunk Ted Kennedy left Mary Jo Kopechne to drown to death at the bottom of Poucha Pond, in what has come to be known as the Chappaquiddick Incident.

Since then, men have been ogling men and women have been flirting, and more, with other women.

Decent society ended right then and there when a rich and powerful man drowned a poor powerless woman and paid no penalty for said evil.

Starting at that moment, homosexuality has spread all across the planet, clearly a sign of the Higher Power's anger with Kennedy.

Until now, nothing could be done. Thus, about 10 percent of the population is destined to have sweaty palms and a racing heart when contemplating members of their own sex.

According to my religious learning, God was imposing the Kennedy Hex in a very random and arbitrary fashion.

Gayness is known as Hell on earth, except in San Francisco where hell is heaven, black is white, bad is good, and Nancy Pelosi continues to be sent to Washington to remind all Americans that hell does indeed exist!

Still, there is hope!

As reported at Breitbart.com, in part:

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D9916G6O0&show_article=1

"A Connecticut church has outraged gay rights advocates by posting a video of members performing an apparent exorcism of a teen's "homosexual demons."

"The 20-minute video was posted on YouTube before it was taken down.

"Gay youth advocate Robin McHaelen (mih-KAY'-lehn) says the video appears to show abuse. She says she plans to report it to the Connecticut Department of Children and Families. "

The burning question of the moment: Did the exorcism work? Is Tom no longer lusting for Fred, but now panting for Kathy? Is Kathy now enamored of Fred and so over Sarah?

Clearly, this entire subject needs to be investigated and documented. We need a human volunteer, someone who is intelligent, gay, and close to Connecticut.

Say, wait a minute. Nut ball Barney Frank is gay, and is close to Connecticut. Two out of three ain't bad!

What say you, Rep. Frank? What are you doing next Sunday evening?

Why not bring a pair of asphalt pajamas and a Bible to this church in Connecticut and let the good people here kick the ass of the devil within you?

Send your "inner devil," packing, as it were?

If this works on old Barney, the F-22 bomber could be saved and hundreds of billions in defense cuts avoided and America could be saved!

God Bless America, Barney Frank, and gay exorcism!

Janet Napolitano's "Passive Surveilance" for Swine Flu

Homeland Security guru Janet Napolitano looks out the window of Airforce One for veterans, tax protestors, abortion and illegal alien opponents, and other "right wing extremists" in need of smiting by the government.




Satire by John W. Lillpop

Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Secretary Janet Napolitano has stressed that the swine flu crisis is being handled properly and with the full weight and authority of the United States government behind the effort.

She has repeatedly stressed that there is no need to restrict flights to and from Mexico, and that there is no need to close the borders.

In fact, it is the contention of the top dog at DHS that her "passive surveillance" is the most effective protection measure that can be implemented.

This reporter caught up with Napolitano as she was about to execute a "Passive Surveillance" stress test on a flight that had just landed at LAX from Mexico City.

As the 157 passengers deplaned at Gate 22A, America's feisty DHS girl started the process by selecting a few passengers for surveillance.

Most of the passengers were Hispanics in the 25-40-age bracket, several of which coughed incessantly while complaining of anemia and stomach cramps.

None of the Hispanics was waved aside for surveillance.

However, Napolitano personally selected 15 Caucasian males in the 55-80-age bracket for examination.

The "passive surveillance" questionnaire was read to each of the 15 white passengers who were placed under oath and advised that false responses could lead to prosecution for perjury.

Each passenger was asked five relevant questions

( ) Are you a veteran, conservative Republican, right-leaning independent, evangelical Christian, or member of any other subversive group commonly known in law as a "right-wing extremist?"

( ) Do you own a firearm, more than two Bibles, a surgical face mask, a broad band Internet connection, or any other weapon of mass destruction?

( ) Have you ever protested the tax policies of the Obama administration while under the influence of tea?

( ) Do you support closed borders, rigid enforcement of immigration laws, deportation of illegal aliens, English only, and other anti-Mexican torture?

( ) Have you ever refused sexual advances from another male based on religious, moral, or medical biases?

Any passenger who answered YES to one or more of the questions was confronted with a sixth question:

( ) Why do you hate President Obama and CHANGE?


Those who answered YES to three or more questions were immediately placed under arrest and returned to Mexico on the next flight.

Asked what her "passive surveillance" questions had to do with detecting the deadly the swine flu, Napolitano flashed a wicked smile and admitted, "Not a whole hell of a lot. But it does help weed out some of the far more dangerous right-wing extremist kooks!"

Which Will It Be? Your Righteous Indignation, Or Los Angeles?

By John W. Lillpop

Jack Benny, late, great comedian from days gone by, was renowned for being a penny-pinching tightwad. In one of his more memorable gags, Benny was confronted by an armed robber who issued the challenge, "Your money or your life!"

In his inimitable style, Benny paused momentarily and replied, "Let me think about!"

As funny as that line is, it is no more nonsensical than the Obama administration's position on "harsh interrogation techniques."

Indeed, President Obama recently announced that he is "open" to prosecuting former Bush administration members who authorized CIA interrogators to use water boarding on terrorists, which would include an uncooperative Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (KSM), who masterminded the 9/11 attacks.

Obama may wish to rethink his "kinder, gentler" approach based on a report which indicates that harsh interrogation techniques yielded information that enabled law enforcement officials to thwart a planned terrorist attack on Los Angeles.

As reported, in part, at cnsnews.com:

http://www.cnsnews.com/public/content/article.aspx?RsrcID=47003


'Soon, you will know.'

"That is the ominous statement an uncooperative Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (KSM), mastermind of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, told his Central Intelligence Agency interrogators when they initially asked him, after he had been captured, about additional planned al-Qaida attacks on the United States.

"As CIA Acting General Counsel John A. Rizzo explained in a 2004 letter to then-Acting Assistant Attorney General Daniel. On Tuesday, the CIA confirmed that it stands by assertions credited to the agency in this 2005 memo that subjecting KSM to “enhanced techniques” of interrogation—including waterboarding—caused him to reveal information that allowed the U.S. government to stop a planned 9/11-style attack on Los Angeles.

"Before they were waterboarded, both KSM and Abu Zubaydah did not believe Americans had the will to stop al-Qaida, the 2005 Justice Department memo says, citing information from the CIA.

“Both KSM and Zubaydah had ‘expressed their belief that the general U.S. population was ‘weak,’ lacked resilience and would be unable to ‘do what was necessary’ to prevent the terrorists from succeeding in their goals,’” said the memo. “Indeed, before the CIA used enhanced techniques in its interrogation of KSM, KSM resisted giving any answers to questions about future attacks, simply noting, ‘Soon, you will know.’

"After he was waterboarded, KSM provided the CIA with information that allowed the U.S. government to close down a terror cell already “tasked” with flying a jet into a building in Los Angeles.

"According to the CIA, it produced cooperation in the mastermind of 9-11 and thus yielded information used to stop a 9-11 type attack on the West Coast.

"President Obama says he has prohibited the interrogation techniques described in the Justice Department memos he released. Next time the CIA catches a KSM, they must be kinder and gentler with him."

The saddest part of this story is that if the Obama administration had been in power when Khalid Sheikh Mohammed was being interrogated, Los Angeles might be the west coast version of Ground Zero.

How Do You Say "Commie Homophobes" in Spanish?

By John W. Lillpop

Sean Penn used the occasion of the 81st Academy Awards to express his dislike for free speech and contempt for those who disagree with him on the issue same sex marriage.

In thanking the academy for the Oscar he received for his portrayal of Harvey Milk in the movie Milk, Penn addressed the assembled lefties as, "You commie, homo-loving sons of guns!"

A bit gruff and insensitive, perhaps, but, without question, it was the most honest sentence to flow from the lips of Sean Penn on this big night in Hollywood.

He went on to say:

"For those who saw the signs of hatred as our cars drove in tonight, think it is a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect, and anticipate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildren’s eyes if they continue that way of support. We’ve got to have equal rights for everyone.

I’m very proud to live in a country that is willing to elect an elegant man president. "

Penn's gooey eyed pride over that "elegant man" is particularly odd since President Obama is on record as being against gay marriage.

Mind you, Obama is OK with gay "unions" which is to be expected from a dedicated Marxist!

Penn has another problem involving lack of consistency and hypocrisy: While he is quick to slam Americans for opposing gay marriage, he ardently supports communist dictators like Fidel Castor and Hugo Chavez who not only oppose gays, but whose regimes have persecuted and murdered homosexuals, because of sexual orientation.

Perhaps Penn should explain his fondness for "Commie Homophobes" who speak Spanish?

Rethinking the Fairness Doctrine!

By John W. Lillpop

Based upon a cursory review of the proposed resurrection of the Fairness Doctrine, the notion appears unfair at best, unconstitutional and un-American at worst.

Still, a real Fairness Doctrine could actually help if it included all television and radio broadcasts, print media, Hollywood films, and Internet sites, and further provided that:

*Mainstream media were required to employ the same number of conservative and liberal reporters, editors, and production staff;

*To counter films like W., Hollywood should produce films that highlight the frailties of a Democrat president, such as the sexual perversion that drove President Clinton to commit perjury;

*For every skit in which Tina Fey ridicules Governor Sarah Palin, SNL should run a skit exposing the hypocrisy and muddled thinking of Nancy Pelosi;

*MSNBC should run "Meltdown" to track lies and mistakes by the Obama administration, including a daily countdown of real jobs created by the trillion dollar stimulus, versus jobs lost since the Inauguration;

*For every column in which a liberal columnist confesses to sexual dreams involving President Obama, the New York Times should publish an Ann Coulter column about liberal bias in the media;

*PBS should follow the "Jim Lehrer News Hour" with a live segment of "The Savage Nation;"

*Following 60 Minutes, CBS should run an investigative expose co-hosted by Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity;

*ABC should hire Bay Buchanan and Phyllis Schlafly to replace two liberals on "The View";

*Spanish-language media should give equal voice to those who advocate secure borders, aggressive enforcement of immigration laws, and mass deportation of illegal aliens;

*Weather Channel should replace half of its global warming believing staff with skeptics who believe climate change is liberal pap, unsubstantiated by real science, and

*Oprah Winfrey should be required to interview Governor Sarah Palin and devote as much time to the conservative dynamo as was lavished on Barack Obama.

If administered fairly (not likely), the fairness doctrine could help dislodge the liberal bias pervasive in television and radio broadcasts, print media, films, and the Internet.

In which case, BRING IT ON!

Why Not "Test Drive" the Fairness Doctrine--At the Oscars?

By John W. Lillpop

With liberal heavy weights like former President Bill Clinton and Shreeker of the House Nancy Pelosi clamoring for a return to the Fairness Doctrine, perhaps we who dwell on the right wing side of the universe should open our tiny minds, just a smidgen, to the concept?

After all, fairness is all about balance and the absence of bias, right?

That being the case, why not "test drive" this fairness notion during a major public event where narrow-minded and ill informed folk are known to congregate?

Why not impose a "Fairness Doctrine" on the Academy Awards show scheduled for this Sunday evening in Hollywood?

Just as an experiment to see how it works out, mind you.

With luminaries like Sean Penn, Brad Pitt, and Angelina Jolie in the running for Oscars, there are bound to be several liberal outbursts to 1) Thank goodness for the arrival of the New Age Messiah, Barack Obama, and or 2) Thank goodness for deliverance from former President George W. Bush, a man of low degree with a drink problem.

So when, say, Sean Penn dedicates his Oscar to the memory of Harvey Milk and pronounces the planet "saved" by the grace of BHO, once the wild applause and cheering subside, the stage and microphone would be turned over to Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood.

These stalwart conservatives would proceed to remind Hollywood and the world that, in just over 30 days in office, Barack Hussein Obama has:

*Escalated the war in Afghanistan with a "surge" of young Americans sent in harm's way;

*Signed, without reading, an 1,100 page bill that will drown future generations in red ink, but which includes funding for liberal programs that will do nothing to create jobs or stimulate the economy;

*Decided to close GITMO and reverse other anti-terrorist measures, thereby making America more vulnerable to terrorist attacks;

*Nominated tax cheats and others suspected of felonies to important cabinet posts;

*Promoted the official decline of America into the abyss of Marxism.


And the winner for the most egregious failure by the Obama administration after 30+ days is:

Osama bin Laden is still on the loose!

Kooky Cokie Lectures Conservatives About Being Irresponsible

By John W. Lillpop


Kooky Cokie Roberts of ABC believes that conservatives who voted against the $1 trillion dollar stimulus outrage are irresponsible and deserve punishment.

As reported, in part, at Newsbusters:

"ABC's Cokie Roberts denounced as 'irresponsible' conservative opposition to the “stimulus” bill and suggested those who voted against it should be punished, declaring on Sunday's This Week: 'I just think that when you're in a situation like this, to do nothing is so irresponsible that you can't, you can't get away with it.'"

No doubt, Cokie is well intentioned and patriotic in her concerns.

However, Cokie's rage would more appropriate if directed at the Democrats and three Republicans who voted for the bill.

Did you realize, Cokie, that NONE of those who voted for the bill actually read its 1,100 pages? If sufficient time was not available to read the damned bill, the responsible thing would have been to vote NO!

As far as "doing nothing" is concerned, conservatives were blocked from doing anything by hard-core liberals like Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.

Looking for irresponsible? Consider the fact that Democrats took advantage of a national crisis in order to fund liberal projects that will encumber the American people, their children, and their grandchildren, with debt unrelated to job growth or economic stimulus.

Now that is irresponsible!


http://newsbusters.org/blogs/brent-baker/2009/02/16/roberts-resistance-stimulus-bill-irresponsible-stephanopoulos-pushes-ba

Obama's State of the Union: He Won, America Lost!

By John W. Lillpop

Would someone please explain to President Obama that being president and commander-in-chief of the greatest nation on earth is NOT quite the same as midnight basketball or a game of HORSE? Or even PORK?

In basketball, one can push, shove and elbow the opposition out of the way in order to achieve one's objective. A dominant center needs to get along with just four teammates, but has no need to compromise or work with opponents.

By way of contrast, running the United States of America involves shared responsibility and authority with two co-equal branches of government. At stake are the lives and well being of 300 million Americans and billions of non-Americans all across the globe.

President Obama has put in nearly three weeks of harrowing incompetence, aggravated by insufferable arrogance. On at least two occasions, the novice president has reminded those who do not agree with him that "I won."

Well of course, you won, President Obama. Unlike many of your fellow Democrats who foolishly claimed that George W. Bush did not win in 2000, Republicans do not deny your electoral triumph.

However, the fact is that all 178 Republicans and 11 Democrats in the U.S. House voted against the stimulus bill. Each and every one was elected or reelected to Congress, and can rightfully claim "I won."

The same holds true for GOP members of the U.S. Senate who have voiced opposition to the recovery bill and whom are likely to vote against the measure on the floor of the Senate. Each and every one won an election to get where they are.

The presidency is not a metaphor for basketball, sir. You were elected to serve as president, not star center!

Blue Dogs With Conservative Values Fight Pelosi's Red Ink Fraud!

By John W. Lillpop

Blue Dog Democrats, blessed with conservative values, are helping to coalesce opposition to Nancy Pelosi's fascist rule in the U.S. House and her spending orgy disguised as a "stimulus" for job growth.


As reported, in part, on FoxNews (Reference 1):

"Rep. Jim Cooper, a conservative Democrat from Tennessee, told a liberal radio network on Sunday that the Obama White House encouraged him to defy House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on the $819 billion economic stimulus bill.

"Well, I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I actually got some quiet encouragement from the Obama folks for what I’m doing," said Cooper, one of only 11 Democrats to vote against the economic stimulus plan that passed the House last week.

"They know its a messy bill and they wanted a clean bill," he said. "Now, I got in terrible trouble with our leadership because they don’t care what’s in the bill, they just want it to pass and they want it to be unanimous."

"Cooper, whose startling admission came on Liberadio, was one of about 55 House Democrats to sign a letter criticizing Pelosi for suspending debate and committee rules on the fiscal package, politico.com reported.

"They don’t mind the partisan fighting cause that's what they are used to. In fact, they're really good at it — and they’re a little bit worried about what a post-partisan future might look like," Cooper said during the radio interview. "If members actually had to read the bills and figure out whether they are any good or not. We’re just told how to vote. We’re treated like mushrooms most of the time."

"An early supporter of President Obama, Cooper is a member of the fiscally conservative Blue Dog Coalition of Democrats."

Speaker Pelosi needs to be defanged and be made irrelevant by people who really care about America.

You Go, Blue Dog Democrats!


Reference 1:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,487632,00.html

To Hell With Trillion Dollar Stimulus: Just Force Democrats to Pay Their Taxes!

Satire by John w. Lillpop

As the Obama experiment continues to fall apart, one tax cheat at a time, the American people continue to wait patiently for answers to the worst economic crisis since the great Depression.

Meanwhile, Nancy Pelosi and other misguided leftists want to waste a trillion dollars on pet liberal projects that America does not need nor want.

In much the same way that liberals exploit children, so it is that they are using the wretched economy as a ploy for fighting STDs, fund abortions, and other nonsense not even remotely related to the creation of jobs.

However, the recent spate of failed Obama nominations has revealed a viable way to solve our economic mess without wasting taxpayer money: Simply force Democrats to pay their damn taxes!

Get it, Nancy? America don't need no stinkin' stimulus!

Rooting for Helen Thomas!

Satire by John W. Lillpop



Helen Thomas of the White House press corps is a staple of American politics. She also sports a face and voice that only a mother could truly love.

Provided said mum happened to be both blind and deaf!

Ms. Thomas has been haunting presidential press conferences for nearly 50 years. Before that, she was Herman Munster on The Adams Family, a role for which she was uniquely qualified because she required no make up.
Even earlier, Thomas was the scare crow in the Wizard of Oz.

Solely because of Helen Thomas, the folks who run Washington, D.C., have been unable to outlaw paper bags, a green fad popular in most other liberal-infested metropolitan cities.

The CIA once planned to make flyers featuring Helen's mug shot with the following inscription in Arabic: "72 Virgins Like This Await You!"

The idea was to drop said flyers on Al-Quaeda training camps in Afghanistan, thereby ending Osama bin Laden's ability to mastermind a respectable Jihad, once and for all.

The plan was scrapped when Madeline Albright threatened to sue the CIA for equal time and her own anti-terror flyer series.

As the oldest living journalist to be on the payroll of both the DNC and UPI at the same time, Thomas sports decades of wear and tear played out on her haggard face.

During the Bush presidency, I perceived Helen Thomas to be arbitrary, petty, biased, combative, disrespectful, and irrelevant. She was clearly anti-Bush, anti-Republican and anti-conservative.

And as ugly as sin to boot!

However, now that the Obama administration is in charge, a major CHANGE seems to overtaken the crusty old journalist.

Mind you, she is still as ugly as the devil.

But her inane questions, now aimed at Robert Gibbs, new White House Press Secretary, seem more measured, more rational, and less offensive.

For the first time ever, I found myself secretly rooting for Thomas to ask the tough, dirty questions, and shouting "Do not pull any punches, Helen!" at the television screen.

Perhaps there is something to that CHANGE stuff after all?

Speaker Nancy Pelosi: "Dubya Left"?

By John W. Lillpop

Regardless of whether one loves or hates former President George W. Bush, no one can deny the fact that Bush-43 often came across as ill informed, confused, and disengaged when speaking publicly.

W.'s lack of communication skills cost the GOP and America dearly when the president was unable to effectively articulate conservative values on issues like the war on terror, social security reform, and the proper role of FEMA in responding to Katrina.

The fact is that conservatives lost many battles in the war for public opinion even though they were right. W. and a very biased liberal media were both to blame.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi appears to be walking in W.'s steps when it comes to being inarticulate and a liability to her party.

For example, Nancy Pelosi's garbled and illogical defense of hundreds of billions of dollars in the economic stimulus plan for non-stimulating boondoggles has been a rallying point for those who care about this nation's fiscal future.

President Obama should be embarrassed by Pelosi's feeble attempt to make left handed pork sound like a solution for an economy that needs jobs.

Almost single-handed, Nancy Pelosi has made it clear that Democrats are willing to exploit the pain and suffering of the American people in order to fund liberal pet projects, which are unrelated to the creation of jobs or stimulation of anything except the pulses of special interest liberals seeking hand outs.

The major difference between President Bush and Pelosi is that the Speaker advocates positions which are completely wrong for America, and which need to be defeated by any means possible.

One can only hope that Pelosi's garbled presentation will do to the liberal agenda what W.'s did to conservatism!

Nancy Pelosi Discusses Family Planning and Jobs

Satire By John W. Lillpop


This reporter recently caught up with Speaker Nancy Pelosi who graciously agreed to the following interview during which we discussed family planning, abortion, the birth of Octuplets in Southern California, and jobs.

The text of that interview follows:

John Lillpop:

Greetings, Speaker Pelosi. Congratulations on your reelection, greatly expanded majority in the U.S. House, and a liberal Democrat in the White House! Democrats have it all their way these days!

Speaker Pelosi:

Oh, thank you John! I cannot begin to tell you how relieved I am that George W. Bush has finally gotten out of town. I feel sorry for the state of Texas, but what can you do?

John Lillpop:

Speaker Pelosi, the House of Representatives passed an Economic Stimulus bill that will cost American taxpayers close to one trillion dollars. One of the more controversial items in the plan is $350 million dollars for family planning.

George Stephanopolis asked you what that expenditure has to do with creating jobs. Can you elaborate for my readers, and relate it to the birth of the Octuplets in California?

Speaker Pelosi:

Well, to begin with, if those children were born in October--you did say they were Octuplets, right?--I wonder why we are we just now hearing about them?

John Lillpop:

Actually, I believe that Octuplets means there were eight babies born to one woman at the same time, Speaker Pelosi.

Speaker Pelosi:

Eight? I thought someone said 14?

John Lillpop:

Well, the woman already had six at home and with the eight new born she now has 14.

Speaker Pelosi:

She already had six and wanted eight more? What the hell is she, some gap-toothed, Bible thumping, pro-life nut ball?

Where exactly in California is this scam artist from?

John Lillpop:

Let's see...OK, she is from Whittier. Southern California.

Speaker Pelosi:

I knew it, I knew it!

You realize that "Tricky Dick"," that sleazy Republican Quaker felon was from Whittier, right?

John Lillpop:

I am sorry, Madam Speaker. What does Richard Nixon have to do with the eight babies in a hospital in Whittier?

Speaker Pelosi:

The question everyone should be asking is, "Why have those eight right-wing babies been allowed to tie up hospital beds and medical services since October?"

We have tens of millions of illegal aliens from Mexico who need to be hospitalized for all sorts of ailments, most caused by drinking the putrid water down there, or by drinking way too much beer here.

Yet, here we have this English-speaking, self-centered, pro-life conservative who hogs medical facilities desperately needed for the poor and destitute.

It's so sad!

John Lillpop:

I am still not following you, Speaker Pelosi. What do the Octuplets have to do with stimulating the economy and creating jobs?

Speaker Pelosi:

It is as plain as the mole on Obama's face, John.

George Bush trashed the American economy by making the rich even richer. He left progressive Democrats to deal with the most serious downturn since the Great Depression.

Simply put, now is not the time for single mothers to be having Octuplets.

In order to turn the failed Bush economy around, we need a few hundred billion dollars to bail out innocent young ladies who get knocked up before Obama has had time to lead us into the promised land.

Under my plan, that young woman in Whittier would have been forced to go to Planned Parenthood for counseling the moment she realized she was pregnant.

What do you think Planned Parenthood would have counseled? Here you have a single mom already responsible for six rug rats with another eight itching to pop out.

It is really a non-brainer, even for a conservative.

You have to snuff at least six, perhaps seven, of the fetuses and try to keep the mother out of heat for at least the next 10 years.

John Lillpop:

But wouldn't that be state-sponsored murder?

Speaker Pelosi:

Murder? Hell no!

Murder is when you send 5,000 American kids to their deaths in Iraq because your dyslexic alcoholic president is having the DTs and sees weapons of mass destruction that simply do not exist.

THAT is murder!

John Lillpop:

I understand your point, Speaker. The latest news is that the mother in Whittier is bankrupt, or her family is, and she is seeking millions in bail out money from the stimulus funds. How do you feel about that?

Speaker Pelosi:

This is exactly why we are in such trouble in America. That woman needs to take personal responsibility for herself and her offspring.

Supporting 14 bastard kids from a right-wing slut is not the job of the government because it has nothing to do with jobs. Why is that so hard for conservatives to understand?


stjl

For Some Obama Cabinet Picks, Greed Trumps Patriotism

By John W. Lillpop

In American politics, higher taxes have become synonymous with the Democrat party, which makes perfect sense since liberals instinctively favor taxes, higher taxes, and more taxes.

To the stereotypical Democrat, higher taxes are always the solution, regardless of how great or complex the problem.

For example, during the presidential campaign last September 18, VP candidate Joe Biden actually claimed that paying higher taxes was the patriotic thing to do.

"We want to take money and put it back in the pocket of middle-class people," Biden said in an interview on ABC's "Good Morning America."

Given that mind set, why does the Obama Administration continue to dredge up tax cheats as nominees for important cabinet posts?

First it was Tim Geithner, Obama's choice to serve as Treasury Secretary, who had the burden of explaining how fudging on his own taxes should not disqualify him from running the Internal Revenue Service, the Gestapo agency charged with prosecuting and punishing tax cheats all across America.

Send a thief to catch a thief?

Next, we have Tom Daschle, whom the people of South Dakota decided they could do without; thus, voters sent the former Senate Majority Leader into retirement in 2004.

Not good enough for the people of South Dakota, Daschle was nonetheless good enough to be Obama's nominee as Secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS), a position that would place health care for the entire nation in the hands of the failed former senator.

Unfortunately for the inexperienced president and his HHS nominee, the tax donkey struck again! As it turns out, Daschle received a free car and chauffeur service, which he used for years without declaring said gifts as income.

Send a non-doctor cheat to fix a health care system corrupted by greedy doctors?

The big question: Just why have Messrs. Geithner and Daschle ignored Joe Biden's clarion call to do the "patriotic thing" by paying higher taxes?

Could it be that, at least for some Democrats, greed trumps patriotism?

Use Economic Stimulus to Bail out American Citizens with Jobs!

By John W. Lillpop

In exchange for being allowed to saddle American citizens with budget deficits of nearly $1 trillion dollars a year for as far as the eye can see, President Obama has promised to create nearly four million jobs.

However, a major question that the president and his party must immediately answer is:

Will the four million jobs, funded by American taxpayers, be awarded exclusively to American citizens, or will illegal aliens be allowed to steal even more public services to which they are not entitled?

With the ranks of the unemployed swelling precipitously, the notion that "Illegal aliens are needed to do work Americans will not do" is becoming less and less believable, and more and more offensive with each jobless report issued by the Labor Department.

As reported, in part, by Yahoo News, "The number of people receiving unemployment benefits has reached an all-time record, the government said Thursday, as layoffs spread throughout the economy."

President Obama has promised to put millions of Americans to work on the nation's infra-structure, i.e., crumbling bridges, schools, roads, public transportation and the like.

Infrastructure work means manual labor, jobs that greedy corporate executives often fill with illegal aliens in order to save money on salaries and benefits.

However, at a time when America is flirting with an economic meltdown of historic proportions, profit before patriotism is downright repugnant and un-American!

American Citizens Only! must be the mindset driving President Obama and Congress when it comes to doling out scores of billions of taxpayer money in plum contracts to private enterprises.

In this instance, the liberal obsession with regulating business can actually be useful if it leads to appropriate oversight on behalf of American citizens.

President Obama must veto legislation that fails to specifically state that all jobs created as a result of the economic stimulus shall be filled by American citizens, and only American citizens!

More Suited for Elective Office: Rush or Oprah?

Satire by John W. Lillpop

How is it that talk show hosts are mentioned so prominently in political news these days?

The latest kerfuffel originated with President Obama who, despite the ugliest economy in 80 years, two foreign wars, each longer than World War 11, and an unmanageable glut of domestic messes left by former President George W. Bush, found time and the audacity to lecture Republicans about their radio listening habits.

Two immediate questions come to mind:

1. Has Obama EVER listened to El Rushbo? If so, how recently and what, if anything, did BHO learn?

2. Why would the most liberal president in history suppose that conservatives would give a tinker's dam about his views on El Rushbo?

Think about it: How would BHO react if a leading Republican senator demanded that the president, " Stop listening to Oprah!"

Would such a plea persuade BHO to watch C-Span instead of America's weight loss/gain guru every afternoon?

Adding to the insanity is the revelation by Illinois Governor Blagojevich that he actually considering appointing Oprah Winfrey to the U.S. Senate seat vacated by Obama's successful purchase of the White House.

Two intriguing questions spin out from Blago's disclosure:

1. Is the governor laying the groundwork for an insanity plea?

2. Did Oprah lose the Senate seat because hers was a "low-ball" offer?


As for El Rushbo, the man is clearly best suited for high office.

Among his superior attributes are his grit and determination in taking off and keeping off unsightly fat, something that Oprah has never managed.

His other major advantage involves integrity and character: Limbaugh is not from Chicago and has no history of being a mobster, a moniker that automatically applies to anyone who has dabbled in Illinois politics.

Besides, Limbaugh owns a huge polling advantage: There are one hell of a lot more ditto heads than welfare queens out there!

While BHO Offers Olive Branch, Iran Nears "Critical Mass"

By John W. Lillpop

President Obama continued his "remaking of America" project by granting his first interview as United States President to the Al-Arabiya news channel.

Among other things, Barack Hussein Obama said the following (partially excerpted from Reference 1):

'Americans are not your enemy.'

Obama's curt message was immediately interpreted to mean that George W. Bush and all who ever voted for him, or who served in his corrupt administration, are NOT Americans.

More excerpts from Reference 1, in part:

"The president expressed an intention to engage the Middle East immediately and his new envoy to the region, former Sen. George J. Mitchell, was expected to arrived in Egypt on Tuesday for a visit that will also take him to Israel, the West Bank, Jordan, Turkey and Saudi Arabia.

"What I told him (George Mitchell) is start by listening, because all too often the United States starts by dictating," Obama told the interviewer."

Roughly translated, that means "God Damn America!" according to those familiar with Holy sermons delivered from the pulpit by Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Obama's spiritual adviser for 20 years until the reverend was run over by a campaign bus driver with the initials BHO stenciled on his uniform.

Showcasing his impeccable timing and political acumen, President Obama's anti-American blurb on Al-Arabiya TV came at about the same time as the world was being told that Iran will have enough enriched uranium to make a nuclear weapon.

As reported in Reference 2, in part:

"Iran will have enough enriched uranium to make a single nuclear weapon later this year, the prestigious International Institute for Strategic Studies (IISS) predicts.

"This points to Tehran's continued development of long-range ballistic missiles able to reach targets in Israel and beyond."

Roughly translated, that means "The chickens are coming home to roost" and the United States is completely to blame!

May Allah keep and bless the warped community organizer who is waging Jihad against America and her people from the Oval Office!


Reference 1:

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20090127/D95VFH581.html

Reference 2

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Nuclear-Weapon-From-Iran-Within-A-Year-Expert-Says-Country-Will-Have-Enough-Uranium-For-Warhead/Article/200901415211260

Nancy Pelosi: Use Condoms to Stimulate the Economy!

Satire by John W. Lillpop

According to Speaker Nancy Pelosi, U.S. taxpayers need to spend several hundred million dollars on birth control in order to help stimulate the depressed economy.

As reported, in part, on the Drudge Report, Reference 1:

"Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi boldly defended a move to add birth control funding to the new economic "stimulus" package, claiming "contraception will reduce costs to the states and to the federal government."

"Pelosi, the mother of 5 children and 6 grandchildren, who once said, "Nothing in my life will ever, ever compare to being a mom," seemed to imply babies are somehow a burden on the treasury.

The revelation came during an exchange Sunday morning on ABC's THIS WEEK.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Hundreds of millions of dollars to expand family planning services. How is that stimulus?

PELOSI: Well, the family planning services reduce cost. They reduce cost. The states are in terrible fiscal budget crises now and part of what we do for children's health, education and some of those elements are to help the states meet their financial needs. One of those - one of the initiatives you mentioned, the contraception, will reduce costs to the states and to the federal government. "

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Pelosi's unique thoughts for dealing with the economic crisis may spawn a whole new era of progressive and not-so-progressive economic solutions such as:

War is hell, but it works!

America recovered from the Great Depression, not because of President Roosevelt's "new deal" of socialism and big government, but because of his behind the scenes finageling that dragged America into World War 11.

Bullets, tanks, war ships, fighter planes, and shipping hundreds of thousands of young men and women over seas saved America in the 1940s and the same strategy can do so again.

President Obama needs to reinstate the draft and start two or three wars as soon as possible!

Guns Kill--and That is Good for the Economy!

One of the greatest obstacles to free market growth and economic expansion is the anti-gun thinking of left wing nut balls like Nancy Pelosi.

After all, increased gun sales mean more shooting deaths and a bigger bang for the stimulus buck.

Eliminate all federal, state, and local controls on gun sales and ownership and watch the economy go Boom!

Drunk Driving--Your Patriotic Duty!

Drunk driving resulting in fatal crashes can be a real win-win for the American economy, especially when the drunk driver wipes out himself and several innocent, non-tax paying leeches in one horrific mess.

Intellectuals like Nancy Pelosi should encourage widespread drunk driving by running catchy national slogans like this:

"Drunk Driving causes fatal car crashes which stimulate the economy. Do your part by drinking and driving as much as possible, especially in crowded residential areas!"

Addition by Subtraction: The Case for Abortion!

With the economy in turmoil, unemployment sky high, and home foreclosures out pacing new home construction and sales, responsible progressives need to promote abortion as an alternative to bankruptcy.

In this scenario, Nancy Pelosi should deliver a personal message to American women facing pregnancy and bankruptcy at the same time. A spot featuring the bug-eyed grandma would work wonders with the following monologue:

"Hello, I am Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the United States House of Representatives.

"I know that many pregnant women are worried about how they will support a new baby without a job and with credit cards maxed out.

"Relax. We Democrats are here to help you make it through these tough economic times.

"Democrats are compassionate people who care about the average Josephine and her financial issues. Which is why I am pleased to announce that the economic stimulus bill includes an abortion bail out that may solve all of your problems.

"For pregnant Catholic girls, rest assured that the Catholic Fathers have never really decided when life begins, so this is not a matter that will in any way impact your right to Holy Communion or your good standing in the Church.

"Best of all, federal abortion funding is now available!


--------------------------------------------------------------

There you go, a simple but effective set of actions that the government can take to shake of this hideous economic downturn!



Reference 1:


http://drudgereport.com/flashpbc.htm

Mega Ditto Heads, President Obama!

Satire by John W. Lillpop

In yet another bold move in a week of unprecedented executive action by an inexperienced community organizer in the White House, President Barack Obama abandoned several "old school" concerns harbored by the Bush administration in order to properly address more urgent threats.

Specifically, President Obama announced that his administration has managed to isolate Osama bin Laden to a few "hot spots" where terrorists are known to congregate, thereby taking the bin Laden crisis off the president's Urgent Action calendar.

When pressed for details, the president referred the press to CIA Director Leon Pinetta who explained that the "hot spots" include Baghdad's "green zone," Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Egypt, Somalia, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, and other Muslim states known to be sympathetic to the CEO of global Islamofascism.

Pinetta also indicated that sleeper cell neighborhoods in Detroit and South Chicago might be "of interest" in locating OBL, although further action would be dependent on convincing BHO to supersede his first Executive Order which dismantled W.'s unconstitutional, illegal, immoral, and secretive domestic wiretapping apparatus.

On a more cheery note, Pinetta declared that reports which allege that Osama bin Laden works as a fund raiser for CAIR in downtown Washington, D.C., at 1700 Pennsylvania Avenue, are "completely false and not worthy of further action or comment by the CIA or other federal law enforcement agency."

With Osama-mania effectively muted, President Obama rolled up his sleeves and tackled some of the more critical issues on the day.

Namely, BHO took on Rush Limbaugh, Republicans who listen to El Rushbo, and unborn fetuses, those incorrigible rascals waiting to pop out and destroy the environment, the global economy, and the world's food and water supplies.

As a result, Limbaugh, Republican listeners, and the unborn got a taste of presidential wrath of the type normally seen when a nasty boil shows up on the president's bum, or when a lingering hang over, brought on by not having enough balls to say no to at least some of the balls spinning out of control in the wee morning hours, continues to haunt America's main man several days later.

As reported by the New York Post and repeated below, in part:

"President Obama warned Republicans on Capitol Hill today that they need to quit listening to radio king Rush Limbaugh if they want to get along with Democrats and the new administration.

"You can't just listen to Rush Limbaugh and get things done," he told top GOP leaders, whom he had invited to the White House to discuss his nearly $1 trillion stimulus package."

With all due respect to the new president, getting "things done" is not in the best interests of America when the "things" are harmful to homeland security, national defense, the economy, and traditional family values.

Perhaps President Obama should stop listening to out of touch people like Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and other clue less liberals?

Instead, Mr. president, why not try to catch Rush's show which is on from 12-3 PM every day? Who knows, you might benefit from diversity of opinion and, with a little effort, might become the most famous "ditto head" in all of America!

President Obama also flashed a bit of competitive arrogance which indicates that he is probably better suited to arranging midnight basketball tournaments than serving as America's commander-in-chief.

From the New York Post, this additional information, in part:

"In an exchange with Rep. Eric Cantor (R-Va.) about the (stimulus) proposal, the president shot back: "I won," according to aides briefed on the meeting. "I will trump you on that."

"We are experiencing an unprecedented economic crisis that has to be dealt with and dealt with rapidly," Obama said during the meeting."

So, according to President Obama, in the event of an "unprecedented crisis" as defined by a Democrat president, the system of checks and balances built into our form of government is null and void?

Powers granted to the legislative and judicial branches of government under the Constitution are unilaterally trumped by the president when he has decided that he "won"?

Clearly, President Obama needs a crash course in Civics 101. Like three hours a day, from 12-3 PM, Eastern Time, for example.

All one needs, Mr. President, is an open mind and a reliable radio on which to listen to the man "with talent of loan from God, on a mission to educate and irritate liberals!"

Mega dittos, Mr. President!

Portland Mayor Sam Adams and His Beau

By John W. Lillpop

Big news coming from Portland, Oregon involving Sam Adams, newly installed mayor of this "progressive" hub.

After denying rumors of a sexual relationship with a teenage male intern, the openly gay mayor was forced into admitting that he did, in fact, do that which he has denied for more than a year.

The mayor's former beau is a gent named Beau Breedlove, an almost perfect name given the sordid circumstances.

So what motivated Mayor Adams to suddenly open up and fall on his sword?

Adams was in Washington, D.C. for the deification of the New Age Messiah on January 20, so perhaps the openness, integrity, and honesty shown by Barack Obama shamed the mayor into coming clean?

Then again, perhaps there is a more base answer.

Turns out that the Willamette Week newspaper was preparing to publish evidence of the relationship between Adams and his Beau, from the summer of 2005.

The big question: Did Willamette Week confront Adams with evidence that Beau Breedlove was a 17 year old minor at the time of the affair?

That might explain why Mayor Adams suddenly lapsed into brutal honesty by admitting that the affair did take place, while insisting that he and Beau did not breed love until after the young man's 18th birthday in June of that steamy summer.


From the Associated Press, this report, quoted in total, as published in the Seattle Post-Intelligence, reference 1.

Please read carefully as there will be a quiz at the end:

"PORTLAND -- A contrite Mayor Sam Adams apologized to Portland for lying about a sexual relationship with a male teenager he was mentoring, but asked the city to consider it an anomaly in two decades of public service.

"I screwed up. I blew it. There's no way to sugarcoat it," Adams said during a news conference at City Hall Tuesday.

Adams coasted to victory in the 2008 election, making Portland the largest U.S. city to elect an openly gay mayor. He was sworn in Jan. 1.

The 45-year-old said he has no plans to resign, but left open the possibility: "If it were no longer in the city's best interests that I stay, yes, I would resign."

Rumors of a relationship between Adams and the teen, Beau Breedlove, surfaced in 2007, when the city commissioner was getting ready to run for mayor. The rumor was that Adams had sex with a 17-year-old.

The pair denied the rumor, but Adams, with the Willamette Week newspaper preparing to publish evidence of the relationship, admitted Monday that the two were together in the summer of 2005.

Breedlove turned 18 in June of that year, and Adams said the relationship did not begin until after the birthday.

"In fact, Beau encouraged me to be honest about the facts of our relationship," Adams said. "I am deeply sorry that I asked him to lie for me."

Commissioner Randy Leonard, who defended him when the rumor surfaced in 2007, has now called for an investigation. Leonard's chief of staff, Ty Kovatch, voiced concern about Adams' decision to ask Breedlove to lie.

"It reveals a much more strategic and planned effort to mislead people," Kovatch said.

Leonard said he believes Adams can continue as mayor -- unless "further omissions and discrepancies" emerge.

Adams said he would cooperate in any investigation.

He stressed the issue is about a public official lying, not sexual orientation, and he would work to regain the public's trust.

"I will be subject to greater scrutiny because of this, and that is appropriate," he said.

"My reputation has been impacted. Friendships have been impacted, and that's appropriate as well."

Jeana Frazzini, director of Basic Rights Oregon, the state's largest gay rights organization, said she sensed disappointment within the gay community, but said the long-range impact is hard to predict.

"Our main concern is that we hope gay politicians who come after Sam don't turn out to be failures because of individuals who came before," Frazzini said.

Though Adams says the relationship with Breedlove was legal, he added that it was inappropriate because of the age gap. He said Breedlove, a legislative intern, wanted to meet with him to get advice about public service.

Adams said he wanted a chance to apologize to Breedlove's parents.

"I'm the one who should be held accountable," he said. "I was the older adult."

The rumor of an Adams-Breedlove relationship came three years after it was revealed that former Oregon Gov. Neil Goldschmidt had sex with an underage girl in the 1970s, when he was Portland mayor. Goldschmidt left public life amid the scandal.

Adams said he lied because he didn't think people would believe that the relationship began after Breedlove's 18th birthday. He said there's a stereotype that gays seek out underage children.

"That's a very inflammatory thing to throw out there," he said. "It's very difficult to prove a negative."


The quiz question: What political party is Sam Adams affiliated with?


Reference 1

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/396869_mayorsex21.html

Greater Torture: Being Water Boarded or Forced to Watch Media Coverage of Inaugural?

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Although I was (thankfully) able to avoid most of the Obamania celebrations broadcast by the liberal media on January 20, there were circumstances beyond my control that left me vulnerable a few times throughout the dreary day.

For instance, when nature called, I rushed to the rest room only to discover that jumbo-sized plasma television screens were mounted everywhere. Tragically, all were tuned to CNN, CBS, or NBC.

Dreary and depressing stuff, that.

Because of too much coffee and a weak bladder, nature called early and often, exposing me to a form of torture that no conservative should have to endure.

Given the choice between being water boarded or forced to watch Katie Couric, Brian Williams, and the gang at CNN deify Barack Obama, my only question would be: My water or yours?

In the interest of providing children with a fair and balanced view of America's bold new era, the following pop quiz has been gleaned from liberal talking points seen on January 20, 2009:


1. President Obama is:

( ) More important than Jesus Christ and God
( ) The embodiment of the cumulative spirituality, intelligence, integrity, kindness, wisdom, honesty, goodness, and love found in the Twelve disciples and all of the Roman Catholic Popes
( ) Infallible and Holy
( ) All of the above


2. Joe Biden:

( ) Is Vice President AND Secretary of State
( ) Works as comedian AND court jester for the White House
( ) Wrote the 1929 Fireside Chat in which President Roosevelt calmed America's fears about the depression
( ) Operated the TV camera during that 1929 Chat which was beamed throughout America in digital HDTV and surround sound

3. Obama's election proves that:

( ) Any inexperienced and unqualified black kid with $750 million dollars, ACORN voter fraud connections, and a gaggle of worshipping liberal "journalists" on his side can grow up to be president
( ) Black racism combined with liberal guilt can overcome America's obsession with Democracy and vote integrity
( ) The ability to deliver "thrills running up and down" the legs of dim wit liberals is more important than logic and common sense
( ) The premature death of communism has been greatly exaggerated

4. President Obama's Inaugural Address:

( ) Is more sacred than the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and Bill of Rights combined
( ) Deserves to be added to the Holy Bible as "The Gospel According to Obama"
( ) Is the most important 18 minutes of breaking news from Washington, D.C. since Richard Nixon's secretary "accidentally" erased Tricky Dick's Watergate confession in 1972
( ) Should be re-broadcast before each NBA basketball game, replacing that tired, old school National Anthem
( ) Should be the subject of an Oliver Stone flick titled, "The Audacity of Hype!"


5. As a result of Obama's message, millions will:

( ) Replace "Ask What You Can Do For Your Country" with, "What can big government can do for me?" gibberish
( ) Join the US of A communist party
( ) Cancel private health insurance plans in anticipation of Universal Socialized Medicine
( ) Stop making mortgage payments to greedy, corrupt lenders
( ) Join ACORN's "Reelect Obama 2012" campaign


6. John Roberts' flub during the Oath of Office was:

( ) Blatant racism intended to confuse a person of color
( ) A sinister plot by Republicans to invalidate the Obama presidency since the Birth Certificate fiasco flopped
( ) A feeble, last ditch effort to make eight years of language abuse by George Bush seem more presidential
( ) A high-tech lynching of a black dude


7. January 20, 2009 will be remembered as:

( ) Obamamas--a new inclusive holiday to replace December 25, a non-inclusive pagan holiday celebrated by confused Christians to commemorate the birth of a Jew
( ) The day that that stagnant, old Bush on the White House grounds was pruned back and shipped to Texas
( ) The day on which being a citizen of the world became more important than being a citizen of the United States
( ) The date on which being helpless and reliant on others replaced self-reliance and success as American virtues.

In keeping with liberal dogma, there is no "failing", or other self-esteem-bashing element to this quiz. You finished the quiz, which is good enough for Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Karl Marx.

Best of all, there is no longer a need to be hard working, competent, resourceful, goal oriented, driven, prudent, austere, patriotic, cautious, or diligent.

From now on, all of your needs will be taken care of by the federal government and Democrat politicians, like it or not!

Welcome to the Obama Nation!

Palestinian Children Used as Weapons of Media Distortion

By John W. Lillpop


If there is indeed a place called Hell, there must be a particularly uninhabitable section reserved exclusively for evil sub-humans who use innocent children as fodder for war.

Like some Palestinians, for example.

While the world gasps in collective horror at images of mangled young Palestinian bodies doused in blood as a result of missiles fired by the Israel military, many forget that Palestinians are directly responsible for the blood shed and carnage.

Launching attacks against Israel from Mosques occupied by children and other civilians is pure evil. Attempting to blame Israel for subsequently hitting such sites in self-defense is both evil and stupid.

A recent Israeli attack on a rocket-launching site unintentionally cost three Palestinian children their lives. Allowing the children to "play" in and around the launching site is unimaginable in a society that has at least a minimal regard for human life.

Unimaginable evil also causes Palestinians to raise their children to be suicide bombers.

How many times have we seen a Palestinian parent wail with pride when an offspring has blown his or her self into smithereens just to kill Jews?

How can a parent with such a blatant disregard for his or her own flesh and blood make a convincing argument against Israel?


For Palestinians who really give a damn about human life, there is a simple solution:

* Stop assaulting Israel with rockets;

* Stop hiding behind children and religious buildings to wage war;

* Stop raising your children to hate and kill Jews; and

* Accept the fact that Israel is a valid entity and will not be obliterated or driven into the sea.

Of course, none of these ideas will resonant with heathen who simply do not give a damn about human life and who, in fact, worship death.

Obama's Non-intelligent Choice for CIA

By John W. Lillpop

By nominating Leon Panetta to head the CIA, President-elect Barack Obama has confirmed fears that he, and Democrats in general, are not capable of applying sufficient priority to the war on terror and national security because they simply do not understand the gravity involved.

Obama's appointment even caught Senator Diane Feinstein off guard and riled the California Democrat who complained, "I was not informed about the selection of Leon Panetta to be the CIA director," Feinstein said. "My position has consistently been that I believe the agency is best served by having an intelligence professional in charge at this time."

Nearly everyone on both sides of the aisle agree that Panetta is a capable manager and amicable fellow who can work well with both Democrats and Republicans.

Nonetheless, Panetta's absolute lack of experience in the intelligence profession can be a comfort only to terrorists and evil doers intent on doing America harm.

Coming on the heels of the spill over from the Rod Blagojevich scandal, the botched Richardson nomination, and the stalled economic stimulus package, the President-elect
seems to be begging the question: "Is Barack Obama really ready for Prime Time?"

What, for example, would happen if, God forbid, another terrorist attack should happen on American soil while Panetta is CIA Director? What possible defense would the president have for placing a an individual without professional intelligence experience in such an important position?

More naive picks like Leon Panetta will most likely bring the new president considerable grief and expose the American people to unacceptable danger.

Why Is Bernie Madoff Not In Jail?

By John W. Lillpop


A cliché commonly used when discussing justice in America is,"You do the crime, you must do the time."

Fair enough. However, why is that standard of justice nearly non-existent when it comes to a despicable swindler like Bernie Madoff?

Madoff is the American businessman and former chairman of the NASDAQ stock exchange who was arrested on December 11, 2008 and charged with engineering the largest investor fraud ever committed by a single individual in world financial history.

Madoff created an elaborate "Ponzi Scheme" in which he swindled well-schooled bankers, Wall Street investors, charities, and individuals out of $50 billion dollars.

That number $50 billion is hard for most people to comprehend. Think of it in familiar terms: George W. Bush sent $17 billion of your money to bail out automakers in December.

Bernie Madoff swindled three times that amount from professionals and others that should have known better.

Despite the enormity of his crimes and the harm inflicted on countless numbers of innocent people, Madoff is a free man, after posting a $10 million bond.

While the U.S. Congress and prosecutors sort out the greatest hoax in history, the mastermind of deceit continues to enjoy a life of luxury and opulence made possible by that very hoax.

Madoff's successful run of felonies has put enormous pressure on the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), the government agency created in 1934 to regulate the stock market and prevent corporate abuses relating to the offering and corporate reporting.

For a complete history of the SEC, refer to reference (1).

The burning question running through the halls of Congress and minds of jilted investors is: Why did the SEC fail to catch this bottom-feeding crook? How in the hell did one man manage to steal $50 billion from some of the most sophisticated and tough-minded money people in the world in the heavy regulated environment of financial investments?

Has Bernie Madoff ever been investigated by the SEC?

In fact, the SEC did investigate Madoff at least eight times since 1992 as reported by the Associated Press, Reference 2.

From the linked reference this summary in part:

"The many fruitless probes into Bernie Madoff:

Starting in 1992, federal regulators on many occasions examined various aspects of Bernard Madoff's business operations, but they never turned up the alleged $50 billion Ponzi scheme that led to Madoff's arrest last month. The history of regulatory failure in the Madoff scandal:

1992

Securities and Exchange Commission

Madoff's name comes up in a probe of Florida accountants who allegedly sold unregistered securities.

1999

SEC examiners review trading practices at Madoff's investment advisory firm.

2001

The SEC's Boston office receives information from securities industry executive Harry Markopolos raising questions about the steady stock market returns of Madoff's firm.

2004

The SEC looks into whether Madoff's firm engaged in improper trading practices.

2005

The SEC interviews Madoff and members of his family, finding no improper trading practices.

2005

An industry-based regulatory office finds no improper trading practices by Madoff's firm.

2005

SEC investigators meet with Markopolos, who alleges that Madoff's firm is "the world's largest Ponzi scheme."

2006

An SEC enforcement investigation finds that Madoff and one of his clients misled regulators. As a result, Madoff agrees to register as an investment adviser.

2007

The Financial Industry Regulatory Authority examines Madoff's firm. No regulatory action results."


Eight alleged investigations and a $50 billion Ponzi scheme goes undetected? Who in the hell were the SEC "investigators"? Big Bird and the Cookie Monster from Sesame Street?

Amazingly enough, Harry Markopolos, while working at a rival firm, wrote in 1999 that Madoff was running a Ponzi scheme. Markopolos now looks like a certifiable genius, a fact that is of little comfort to those whom Madoff robbed, or SEC commissioners and employees who are left looking like complete fools, or worse.

The bottom line seems to be that, as of now, no single explanation makes sense in the bizarre Bernie Madoff crime spree.

Allan Sloan, senior editor at CNN Money Fortune (Reference 3) filed this report, in part:


"CNN Money Fortune


"NEW YORK (Fortune) -- Yes, there really are times when life imitates art. A case in point: the Bernie Madoff scandal, in which the disgraced investor bears a startling resemblance to Zero Mostel's sleazy theater promoter in one of my favorite flicks, "The Producers."

"What do the real-life Madoff and Mostel's fictional Max Bialystock have in common? They used the same principles to pull off a big-time financial fraud. These are: If you're going to steal, steal big. If you're going to cook the books, make up numbers of your own - don't try to doctor the real ones. And, finally, if you're going to fleece people, turn down enough potential investors so that those whose money you take feel so honored that they don't do basic homework to find out about you.

"No, I'm not making light of what Madoff did, which has ruined the lives of people who went to sleep feeling rich and woke up poor, and which has devastated worthy charities. I'm just trying to show you how the world works, and why we see the same things, year after year, decade after decade, with frauds like Madoff and the Bayou hedge funds and other less famous sleazoids.

"How could the Securities and Exchange Commission, which admits it had gotten tips about Madoff for years, bring some penny-ante insider-trading claim against Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban while failing to see that Madoff was ripping off billions from the likes of Elie Wiesel's foundation?

"Not to prejudge the SEC's investigation of itself, but I'll bet the answer will turn out to be that things have always been this way and probably always will be. If commission enforcers get a bigger budget and are treated with respect rather than being dissed (including, I'll bet, by some of Madoff's victims) as an obstacle to free markets, things may improve. But don't expect a fraud-free era to ensue.

"I'm saying this not out of cynicism but because I know how regulators generally work. I've seen it for years, in fields ranging from department stores to oil-drilling partnerships. You're likely to get caught if you run a few inches outside the baseline, because regulators are set up to catch that. But run so far out that you're playing on a whole different ball field? You can get away with that if you're enough of a financiopath, and your luck holds.

"Take the mutual fund "market timing" scandal kicked over by Eliot Spitzer back when he was New York's respected attorney general rather than its disgraced "love guv." As you may recall, many foreign-stock mutual funds - which, like all mutual funds, are regulated up the wazoo by the SEC - were allowing hedge funds to do quick trades that ripped off the funds' long-term investors by diverting profits from them to the hedgies. (This really should have been called "skimming," but that's another story.)

"Spitzer's folks got tipped to this game by an informant - but it turned out there had been plenty of hints, such as hedge funds telling clients about their "timing" activities. The reason the SEC didn't find this during its routine audits was that it wasn't looking for it. Who'd have thought that funds would be so stupid as to risk their most valuable asset - their reputation - for the relative crumbs the hedge funds threw them?

"No one picked up on our fictional friend Max Bialystock because he made up a fraud from whole cloth - he sold investors 25,000% of a ghastly, tasteless musical, "Springtime for Hitler," that was designed to fail and let him keep the money, but became a huge hit. Like Madoff, Bialystock didn't have enough money to pay off investors who wanted their dough.

"Both scamsters also generated an aura of exclusivity by not taking money from just anyone. "It's due diligence by crowd, and it doesn't work," says Jim Mintz, whose Mintz Group specializes in background checks.

"There's a big move on for the SEC to regulate hedge funds. It's a worthy idea. But trust me. If a big fund is engaged in a big fraud, the SEC's unlikely to find it without an outside tip. Or maybe even with one. That's how things worked with Madoff. And how they work in the real world. And how they'll probably always work. "

Which brings up an interesting point about deposed New York Governor Eliot Spitzer: Was the powerful Democrat spending too much time and money on ladies of the night at the Emperor's Club to catch Bernie Madoff?

A video on Finance Yahoo (Reference 4), provides even more information on the Bernie Madoff story and is worth viewing.


References:

(1) History of SEC http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._Securities_and_Exchange_Commission


(2)

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iIXcRJuIjbkGKM5GT0txn4-1CJowD95H7FI80


(3)
http://money.cnn.com/2009/01/05/magazines/fortune/sloan_madoff.fortune/?postversion=2009010506


(4)
http://finance.yahoo.com/tech-ticker/article/152910/SEC-Investigated-(And-Fooled-by)-Madoff-Eight-Times?tickers=^dji,^gspc,dia,spy,qqqq