Why Not Drivers' Licenses for Illegal Aliens?

By John W. Lillpop

When it comes to pushing really stupid ideas, California state Senator Gilbert Cedillo is the Everready Bunny of demented politics.

For years, Cedillo has worked tirelessly trying to get California to grant drivers' licenses to invading criminals, most of whom share Cedillo's Hispanic ethnicity.

Only once, during the term of Governor Gray Davis, did the Cedillo annual assault on common sense actually become law.

Even then, the new law was short-lived because California voters wisely decided that Gray Davis was lacking sufficient Grey Matter to run the state; Davis was recalled, and voters installed Arnold Schwarzenegger in his place.

The Terminator quickly terminated the Cedillo folly, and the rest is history.

But what if Cedillo was actually right? Perhaps illegal aliens do deserve driver's licenses and a whole lot more?

Come to think of it, perhaps American taxpayers should be forced to give every illegal alien:


* A 3,500 square foot home located on 160 acres, title free and clear, and with a permanent exemption from property taxes?

* Free education at the university of his or her choice, including room and board, tuition, books and class materials? With no need to pass entrance exams or prove academic worthiness?

* At least two new SUVs per household and more as needed to assure upward mobility for all family members?

* Lifetime medical and dental care, free of charge?

* Free food and clothing?

* The latest and most sophisticated computing equipment and software available, including high-speed Internet connections?

* A laptop for every illegal lap?

* An annual all-expenses paid 30-day vacation to Mexico, including round trip fare and $5,500 petty cash?

* A free path to citizenship, including all immigration fees and attorney costs?

And why not go all out to make illegal aliens really feel comfortable?

Why not redo the Declaration of Independence, Constitution, and Bill of Rights in Spanish, amended as appropriate to assure full protection of illegal aliens as the largest and most vulnerable group of victims in America?

Why not require that all business transacted in the House and Senate be in Spanish?

Why not make Cinco de Mayo a national holiday and drop Independence Day (July 4th) in order to keep spending in line?

Why not move Washington, D.C. to Tijuana, Mexico, which is, after all, a more appropriate venue for a House (and Senate) of ill repute?

Bottom Line: Why not just step aside and let Mexican invaders re-make America into Mexico north?

That may be the only way to stop the invasion, because once America has decayed to a third-world sister of Mexico, invaders will have no reason to come here.

At that happy day, it will be more cost effective for freeloaders and scam artists to simply stay squatted in Mexico!

Brilliant strategery for ending illegal immigration, say what?

Hillary Is a B**** Because...

By John W. Lillpop

Some narrow-minded women will howl with outrage when Hillary Clinton is characterized as a b****, arguing that that woman, whose disapproval numbers consistently hover around 50 percent, is just an assertive woman going after something.

According to such folk, Ms. Clinton is a victim of a right wing, misogynist conspiracy to deny Hillary her birthright, i.e., coronation as Queen of America.

So why, then, did Democrat voters give the b**** the heave ho in favor of a black Marxist with Jihad tendencies who is all about chasing fairy tales?

Truth will out. Observe please:

Hillary is a b**** because she is an elitist liar, fascist, and socialist who believes that America owes her the presidency because of her gender.

Hillary is a b**** because she does not respect the views of others, and will work ruthlessly to silence those with the audacity to disagree.

Hillary is a b**** because she behaved as though she was CO-president during the Bill Clinton presidency, an arrangement not approved by we the people.

Hillary is a b**** because she worked behind the scenes to concoct a program of forced socialized medicine, all the while ignoring the wishes of the American people.

Hillary is a b**** because she thought herself to be "inevitable" for the presidency, ignoring the fact that, in a Democracy, voters have a thing or two to say about whom will have squatter's rights in the Oval Office.

Hillary is a b**** because she lied unashamedly about landing under sniper fire in Bosnia to puff up her dubious "ready on day one" credentials, when, in fact, she was greeted by young girls bearing flowers.

Hillary is a b**** because she ridiculed decent American women who "Stand by Your Man," even though she stood by Bill Clinton as he engaged in countless episodes of promiscuity and adultery, including a sultry affair with an intern right under Hillary's nose in the White House.

Hillary is a b**** because she tolerated Gennifer Flowers, Kathleen Wiley, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky and all the rest not out of respect or love for the presidency or the man, but because leaving Slick Willie would have forced her to abandon all the power, fame, and fortune that accrues to those lucky enough to be First Lady.

Hillary is a b**** because she pretends that being a tough-minded, bossy feminist in pant suits qualifies her to be President of The United States, when, in fact, all of her success is the direct result of her marriage to Bill Clinton.

Hillary is a b**** because she rails against "obscene" profits by the oil industry while she and her husband have become obscenely rich by pawning off absurd trite as thoughtful and insightful revelations about their years in the White House.

In short, Hillary Clinton is a b**** because of her rigid intolerance, dishonesty, and wrong headed liberalism!

McCain Eschews Old White Guys, Embraces REAL Change!

By John W. Lillpop

John McCain's announcement concerning Sarah Palin as his running mate has sent Team Obama and the mainstream media into comatose shock, a malady from which they may not fully recover until well after November 4.

Those who delight in gloating while watching liberals eat crow are hoping that Democrats and the media recover in time to witness the McCain swearing in ceremony on January 20, 2009.

McCain's brilliant counter punch to Obamamania pits a beautiful 40-something woman of integrity, intelligence, and warmth against a balding "old school" white guy with plagiarism as his only certifiable talent.

Guess who best represents positive change in the upcoming election?

Hint: It is not that US Senator from Delaware who has been on the public dole for 35 years, and who happens to be the poster child for the status quo.

Rather, it is a young, bright female Governor who brings freshness and innocence to the fray at a time when most Americans are fed up with phony Messiahs and other creations of the liberal media who promise change, but who deliver only tired old rhetoric and simplistic double talk.

Sarah Palin's ascension to national prominence
should be terrific news to disillusioned Hillary fans looking for a female-friendly candidate to vote for!

Behold, rejected Clintonistas everywhere:

John McCain and Sarah Palin represent real change and real hope for women!

Hillary Is a Bitch Because...

By John W. Lillpop

Most liberals will howl incessantly when Hillary Clinton is characterized as a bitch, arguing that that woman, whose disapproval numbers consistently hover around 50 percent, is just an assertive woman going after something.

According to such folk, Ms. Clinton is a victim of a right wing, all-male conspiracy to deny her her birthright, i.e., coronation as Queen of America.

So why, then, did Democrat voters give the bitch the heave ho in favor of a black Marxist with Jihad tendencies who is all about chasing fairy tales?

Truth will out. Observe please:

Hillary is a bitch because she is an elitist liar, fascist, and socialist who believes that America owed her the presidency because of her gender.

Hillary is a bitch because she does not respect the views of others, and will work ruthlessly to silence those with the audacity to disagree.

Hillary is a bitch because she behaved as though she was CO-president during the Bill Clinton presidency, an arrangement not approved by we the people.

Hillary is a bitch because she worked behind the scenes to concoct a program of forced socialized medicine, all the while discounting the needs and wishes of the American people.

Hillary is a bitch because she thought herself to be "inevitable" for the presidency, ignoring the fact that, in a Democracy, voters have a thing or two to say about whom will have squatter's rights in the Oval Office.

Hillary is a bitch because she lied unashamedly about landing under sniper fire in Bosnia to puff up her dubious "ready on day one" credentials, when, in fact, she was greeted by young girls bearing flowers.

Hillary is a bitch because she ridiculed decent American women who "Stand by Your Man," even though she stood by Bill Clinton as he engaged in countless episodes of promiscuity and adultery, including a sultry affair with an intern right under Hillary's nose in the White House.

Hillary is a bitch because she tolerated Gennifer Flowers, Kathleen Wiley, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky and all the rest not out of respect or love for the presidency or the man, but because leaving Slick Willie would have forced her to abandon all the power, fame, and fortune that accrues to those lucky enough to be First Lady.

Hillary is a bitch because she pretends that being a tough-minded, bossy feminist in pant suits qualifies her to be President of The United States, when, in fact, all of her success is the direct result of her marriage to Bill Clinton.

Hillary is a bitch because she rails against "obscene" profits by the oil industry while she and her husband have become obscenely rich by pawning off absurd trite as thoughtful and insightful revelations about their unfortunate occupation of the White House.

In short, Hillary Clinton is a bitch because of her rigid intolerance,dishonesty and wrong headed liberalism.

And that's the way it is!

Flip-Flopping on Change!

Satire By John W. Lillpop

If flip flopping were an Olympic event, Barack Obama would have won enough gold medals to buy all of those missing McCain mansions outright, and still have sufficient scratch left to treat Oprah Winfrey to lunch.

By naming Joe Biden as his running mate, the Anointed One has set an all-time world record for prevarication, said record subject to being superseded by Obama himself, at any time, without advance warning.

Oddly enough, this fellow was supposed to be all about CHANGE, CHANGE, and still more CHANGE, remember?

To date, the only CHANGE that Obama has consistently brought to the table is an all- too- frequent change of his bloody mind on vital issues of the day!

Nominating Joe Biden for the vice presidency to run under the banner of CHANGE is another stunning example of Obama's inexperience, lack of commitment to anything except acquisition of raw power, and world class flip- flop skills.

Good grief, with 35 years under his belt in the US Senate, Senator Joseph Biden is the quintessential Washington insider. If ever there was a poster child for the anti-change status quo, it would be the senior senator from Delaware!

More Proof: Democrat Joe Biden has not changed his hairpiece in 20 years!

Oh, and by the way, Joe Biden will be 66 in October.

Which means that Biden is darn near as old as John McCain and is a smidgen older than Hillary Clinton is.

According to ageist hate speech used by Team Obama against both McCain and Hillary, they are "old school" fogies," out of touch with any American who can still walk about on his or her own, and for whom sex is more important than comfortable dentures and a clean bed pan.

Fathoming why Biden's 66 trumps McCain's 72, or Hillary's 61, when it comes to being in sync with younger voters is beyond this writer's pay grade. As such, it is best left for historians to sort out in the decades to follow.

Biden has other shortcomings, including the fact that he is an angry white male and an attorney.

Which begs the following question: Can the American electorate, starved as it is for CHANGE, be placated by placing an old, angry white male with a law degree just a heart beat away from the presidency?

Still, this is Obama's show, and there ARE positive qualities that Biden brings to the ticket:

First and foremost, Joseph Biden is NOT Hillary Rodham Clinton.

In and of itself, that is enough to endear Biden to millions of voters who would like to keep the White House "b**** free," for at least four more years.

Next, Biden has a unique capacity for sticking his foot into his mouth with inappropriate, politically incorrect, and or incendiary remarks.

If fact, if sticking your foot in your mouth was an Olympic event, Joe Biden would have nearly as much gold to his credit as Obama, flip-flopping champ of all time.

How might Biden's non-stop adventures in a quagmire of faux pas benefit the ticket?

Elementary, really: It will keep snoopy news reporters pre-occupied with chasing down the latest "Biden Eruption."

Thus, the media will be too busy to delve into Obama's Jihadist past, involvement with sleazy underground characters, or his relationship with his half-brother, left to wilt in abject poverty in Kenya.

Some might ask, "But, what about Biden's despicable dabbling in plagiarism?"

Friends, this is what makes the Obama-Biden bonding so special:

Barack Obama has never written anything worth stealing, so all his jottings would be perfectly safe, even with Joseph Biden free to roam the White House!



jwl
8-24

With All Those Homes, Perhaps McCain Should Rescue Obama's Brother?

Satire By John W. Lillpop

John McCain continues to be pummeled hither and yonder for marrying a woman smarter and more successful that himself,
a charge that has never been leveled against Barack Hussein Obama.

Funny that.

A real stinker, this latest kerfuffel, as it shows the big bad Republican McCain so out of touch with average Americans that he has lost track of his (wife's!) mansions.

So, while millions of Americans face the loss of their homes through foreclosure, the McCain real estate empire cannot even remember how many estates they have title to.

Double shame on America, especially those with the audacity of success!

Just as news concerning McCain's inability to count to seven was being parlayed into accusations of racism, elitism, and old age dementia by Team Obama, the news wires became flooded with stink about this Obama character himself.

Seems as though America's favorite black, Jihad, Marxist has a half-brother (does that make the dude a half-sister, ergo a bisexual?) who lives in Kenya on wages approximating $1.00 a month.

Just for perspective that is equal to one hundred US pennies every 30 days, before taxes, of course.

The half-brother should thank God or Allah, as the case may be, that Obama is not running for public office in Kenya, because 50 percent or more of those 100 pennies might be stolen by Obama's "progressive" tax plan should the Anointed One prevail.

Sadly for America, but fortunately for the impoverished brother, Kenya is too black for Obama, who still fosters this fairy tale about living in a White House in a very black neighborhood in Washington, D.C.

Given the fact that Barack Obama has turned his Marxist back on his poor brother, John McCain has been given a golden opporunity to do the magnanimous thing.

Specifically, John McCain should "pull an Oprah" by announcing that Obama's better half brother will be flown to the States, at McCain's expense, and housed in one of those seven mansions that the aging senator has misplaced. Free of charge!

Can you see the headlines?

Compassionate Conservatism Breaking News: John McCain Rescues Obama's Brother!

That should play havoc with the polls, say what?

America Being Blitzed by Leftist Wolf!

Satire, Courtesy of John W. Lillpop


This is not meant to demean Wolf Blitzer, CNN's top political analyst and part-time kosher food vendor. He is probably a perfectly fine and decent chap, worthy of every wooden nickel he can extort from the corrupt moguls who run CNN and Time Magazine.

Nonetheless, a spate of compassionate conservatism forces me to ask, What sort of parent would deliberately name a child Wolf to go with the surname Blitzer?

Does not the eighth Amendment to the US Constitution protect citizens from cruel and unusual punishment of the type haunting Blitzer?

Naming a child Wolf Blitzer is about as nasty as one can get, except for handing down the name Lillpop to a defenseless new born.

In fact, the physician who delivered this Lillpop was so concerned about the potential emotional harm that "Lillpop" might cause that he scribbled "TBD" in the last name of my birth certificate.

Mum penciled through "TBD" and entered "SOB," never fully appreciating the irony of that vicious attack. Out of a deep-abiding respect and inheritance considerations, I never argued the point with her.

By now, it is clear that my doctor was dead wrong--being named Lillpop has not kept me down or interfered with my path to success.

Inheriting my mother's wonky DNA has exacted a miserable toll, but my last name has had little, or nothing, to do with a lifetime of institutional-quality insanity.

Judging from his success as a famous national television star, Wolf Blitzer has not suffered too greatly because of his strange moniker.

When I first heard the name Wolf Blitzer, I thought it was the stage name for some whacked out football analyst, unemployable except when assigned to cover crushed skulls, broken bones, and copious amounts of spilled blood on Sunday mornings.

As it turns out, Wolf Blitzer is the real name of a whacked out liberal who never leaves the "Situation Room" at CNN, except when there is a full-moon, at which time he produces "Braying With Wolf," available for a nominal fee as an Ipod download.

Again, this is not to demean Wolf in any way. He is an elitist lefty, true, but he is very bright--for a liberal!

Consider some of the most inspired quotes from Wolf *:

"Mr. President, haven't you been watching the news? Katrina hit New Orleans five days ago. The city is flooded. Many people are homeless, desperate for food and water. They're wondering why it's taking so long for the government to send help.”

On this one, Wolf sort of got out of sync with reality.

Anyone with even a vague understanding of the relationship between Nazism and Republican politics knows that President Bush watches FOX News, and only Fox News!

Everyone except Wolf was also aware of the fact that during the overkill coverage of Katrina by the liberal media, FOX ran old Amos and Andy flicks non-stop!

It is called "Fair and Balanced," Wolf baby!

How about this Wolf dilly?

"It is time for the United States, as the sole recognized intermediary, to consider more forceful action for peace."

This quote was apparently put together immediately after Wolf interviewed President Bush while the two supped Kosher, non-alcoholic iced tea in the green room outside the set of the Situation Room.

You can see Dubya's lip prints all over those crazy words, "Forceful Action for Peace."

Roughly translated into Duybaspeak, the term means, "America must invade Iran now, before evil doers destroy the Middle East come January 20, 2009!"

No doubt, Wolf had another meaning in mind.

Then there is this unforgettable line:

"Guess what, there's another bomb out there, it is going to kill a lot more, but I'm not telling you where it is.”

This is a bit of a tease, because no one knows for sure exactly what Wolf was referring to.

Nonetheless, Dr. John Lilypompous, speaking on condition of anonymity, conjectures that this quote flowed from the lips of Wolf just before CNN announced that George W. Bush had been re-elected to a second term in 2004!

That's NOT the way it is, and thank the Lord for small favors!

Wolfman: Blitzing America with liberal bias and propaganda from the Situation Room in Atlanta!



* Source:

All-American Colors: Gold, Wrapped in Red, White, and Blue!

By John W. Lillpop

In a magnificent tribute to the superiority of American culture, language, and food, Michael Phelps has once again rewritten history by earning his unprecedented eighth Olympic gold medal of the 2008 Olympics.

Bravo to the young man in red, white, and blue who may have to move to Fort Knox, Kentucky for security reasons, so much gold has he acquired.

Phelps' timing is particularly excellent, coming as it does just as the Democrat Party is about to nominate an America-hating Marxist with Jihadist tendencies in the personage of Barack Obama to be 44th president of the United States.

Each and every American citizen who truly loves America will join in the celebration of Michael Phelps, while praying for the political demise of Barack Hussein Obama.

For the full story of Michael Phelps and his conquest of the world, see the link below.

God Bless America and Michael Phelps!

Source:

Democrat Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick Belongs in Denver!

Satire Courtesy of John W. Lillpop

Shame on Barack Obama, Howard Dean, and all of the other "inclusive" liberals for ripping the Welcome mat out from under Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick at the convention site in Denver.

According to an AP report, "Barack Obama doesn't want Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and his legal troubles to be a distraction at the upcoming Democratic National Convention."

AP:


What a hypocritical outrage!

All of this scorn heaped upon Da Mayor just because he faces eight felony charges in a perjury case and two felony charges in an assault case.

Why should "alleged" behavior prevent the Democrat mayor of a major American city from serving as a superdelegate during the crowning of America's presumptive 44th president and First-ever Messiah?

After all, the Democrats have cleared the way for former President Bill Clinton, a perjurer and sexual predator, to address the assembled masses.

Democrats are mostly felons and liars anyhow, so what is the point?

Why not show the same level of respect for Mayor Kilpatrick as is being extended to an impeached president?

What is that you say? By court order, Kilpatrick must wear an electronic monitoring device as part of his bond in an assault case?

So just what the hell do Democrats have against poor black dudes manacled to electronic monitoring devices by racist judges?

In truth, that electronic monitoring devise is all the more reason for welcoming Kilpatrick to the festivities since he will be a living, breathing testament to the shackles still enslaving black Americans.

A shackled Mayor Kilpatrick would be a perfect illustration of why CHANGE, ALA Barack Obama, is so vital to America!

Two words of wisdom for team Obama:

Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick Belongs in Denver! and,

Let Kilpatrick be Kilpatrick!



jwl
8-15

At Least John Edwards Did Not Lie Under Oath!

By John W. Lillpop


With all the bloody infighting, back stabbing, and nut cutting going on between Democrats these days, it is questionable whether this party of asses can survive long enough to hold their convention in Denver on August 25-28.

In the latest kerfuffel, former senator and presidential candidate John Edwards has admitted to an extramarital affair with one Rielle Hunter. Ever conscious of his image, Edwards made sure to point out that his tryst with Hunter happened while wife Elizabeth's cancer was in remission.

That is sure to endear the jerk to hypocritical liberals eager to point out that Republican Newt Gingrich dumped his wife while she was being treated in a hospital.

However, other Democrats are wondering if Edwards should skip this convention, thereby saving the party loads of bad PR and embarrassment in an extremely tight election cycle.

Hoever, there is a complication: Democrats have just agreed to let Slick Willie, the president, sex addict, and perjurer who gave us "I did not have sex with that woman," address the conventioneers during prime time.

On what basis, then, can the asses deny Edwards the right to make a fool of himself in front of party faithful and millions of television viewers?

John Edwards has another distinct moral advantage over Slick Willie: He did not lie under oath!

In fact, the rising star, now in descent, let it all hang out when he said, in part, the following:

"If you want to beat me up – feel free. You cannot beat me up more than I have already beaten up myself. I have been stripped bare and will now work with everything I have to help my family and others who need my help."*

Given that naked mea culpa, I say kick Slick Willie off the stage and let John Edwards have his say.

After all, a humble Democrat willing to be beaten up may be just what voters are lusting for in 2008!



*

LATIMES:

Voter Fraud: Without It, Democrats Cannot Win!

Satire By John W. Lillpop

With the election less than 90 days away and John McCain showing no reliable signs of a disabling injury or worse, Barack Obama and the Democratic National Committee (DNC) have decided to use a campaign strategy that has served Democrat candidates well in the past.

Liberals call it Voter Outreach, but federal and state election officials prefer a less PC term that is more precise: Voter Fraud.

Voter fraud has been in the Democrat Party's bag of tricks for generations. Without it, John Fitzgerald Kennedy would have lost the presidency to Richard M. Nixon in 1960.

Further, without the humiliation of the 1960 loss in his craw, President Nixon would have not delivered his infamous "You won't have Nixon to kick around" speech after losing a bid to become governor of California in 1962, and he would not have authorized the Watergate break-in of DNC headquarters in 1972.

Therefore, Nixon would not have been forced to resign, and America would not have burdened with the presidencies of Lyndon Johnson, Gerald Ford, and Jimmy Carter.

Spiro Agnew, Nixon's actual vice president in 1968, might have been elected president after Nixon, setting the stage for the first arrest of a sitting president in US history as federal agents would have kicked in the door to the Oval Office and perk-walked the handcuffed Agnew away for accepting bribes.

With no Spiro Agnew to serve as hit man during the first Nixon term, Americans would have been denied these classic quotes from the conservative icon:

"Ultra-liberalism today translates into a whimpering isolationism in foreign policy, a mulish obstructionism in domestic policy, and a pusillanimous pussyfooting on the critical issue of law and order. "

Moreover, what would history be without Agnew's most famous assault on the media?

"In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism."

But back to 2008 and the contemptible scheming by DNC Chairman Howard Dean and Obama to steal the election.

According to insiders, Dean and Obama have ordered an all out effort to appease, cajole, bribe, extort, blackmail, and all other forms of physical and emotional treachery needed to influence all members of the Obama core constituency.

That would be sleeper cells, illegal aliens, felons, and the Dearly departed.

Sleeper cells could be a veritable gold mine of opportunity in which to troll for Obama votes.

With his three Muslim names --Barack Hussein Obama--and history of taking spiritual guidance from a pastor who blames the US for 9/11, Obama seems a shoo-in to capture the sleeper cell vote on November 4.

After all, what dedicated Jihadist and dues-paying sleeper cell dude would skip over Barack Hussein Obama in order to vote for an alleged conservative and lily-white Christian crusader named John McCain?

When it comes to illegal aliens, Obama again appears to have a clear edge. It will be recalled that he talked down to US citizens by insisting that Americans should learn Spanish, the preferred language to millions of aliens here illegally.

Obama added to his anti-rule of law credentials by promising to deliver amnesty to all "law-abiding illegal aliens," a newly minted oxymoron created for the specific purpose of pandering to Hispanics.

With regard to felons, Democrats are particularly sensitive to ruthless laws that prohibit this abused demographic from voting. Minority felons are a party favorite since the overwhelming majority of felons are black and Hispanic Democrats, ergo, potential Democrats.

Another natural fit for Dean and Obama!

When it comes to the Dearly Departed demographic, Obama comes out on top again.

Current Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley is the offspring of Mayor Richard J. Daley, the man who elected John F. Kennedy by padding the Democrat vote totals with Cook County residents long since expired, thereby titling Illinois to JFK, and sending a disgruntled Richard Nixon back to California in search of a governor's mansion to haunt.

By focusing on sleeper cells, illegal aliens, felons, and the deceased, Obama will be able to avoid wasting money and time on campaign stops dominated by bitter Americans who worship guns and the Holy Bible.

That should allow Obama to mount a most formidable campaign.

Voter Fraud: Without It, Democrats are hopeless!

Jose Medellin Chokes on "Virgin Blood"!

By John W. Lillpop

Fifteen years ago, Jose Medellin participated in the murder and rape of Jennifer Lee Ertman, 14, and Elizabeth Pena, 16.

A story in the Dallas News describes the carnage as follows:

"It was the start of a savage hourlong attack by Medellin, then 18, and five fellow gang members, who raped the girls and forced them to perform sex acts before beating then strangling them with a belt and shoelaces. It would be four days before their bodies, decomposing in the Houston heat, were found. By then Medellin already had boasted to friends about having 'virgin's blood' on his underpants."

Fifteen years later, the great state of Texas extracted a partial measure of justice from the sub-human illegal alien. The good news was reported by the Houston Chronicle with these words:

"Medellin was pronounced dead at 9:57 p.m., nine minutes after the lethal dose was administered." (Texas is on Central time.)

No doubt, the death certificate will list ''lethal injection' as the official cause of Medellin's death. It could just as easily read, "Choked on Virgin Blood," in reference to the jocular celebration that came back to haunt Medellin late in the day on August 5, 2008.

Many people who normally support the death penalty were opposed this time because of the supposed violation of international treaties and the potential future harm that could be visited upon Americans incinerated in foreign lands.

That argument is surely of great merit in learned legal circles, but any American who has committed the types of heinous crimes attributed to Medellin does not, in my view, deserve a great deal of sympathy.

Simply being an American does not justify behavior ordained by Satan.

Politically, the liberal media and politicians will abandon all common sense in rushing to the defense of the departed killer, while forgetting the grotesque end he gleefully brought to Jennifer Lee Ertman and Elizabeth Pena.

A strong message must be delivered to those who moan when justice wins the day:

Forget about wringing your hypocritical hands in angst over the likes of Jose Medellin! Instead, join forces with reasonable Americans to prevent thugs like Medellin and Edwin Ramos (San Francisco sanctuary city killer) from invading this nation to begin with!

Of Manny Ramirez, Anxious SF Giants Fans, & the Golden Gate Bridge

Satire By John W. Lillpop

Die-hard fans of the Los Angeles Dodgers were delighted to learn that the club had acquired superstar Manny Ramirez in a three way trade with the Boston Red Sox and Pittsburgh Pirates.

With Ramirez in the lineup this weekend, the Dodgers whipped the Arizona Diamondbacks twice in three tries, to move back to within one game of first place in the National League West.

Manny smashed two dingers (home runs) and now has eight hits in 13 at-bats since joining the Dodgers on Friday last. His arrival should make the Dodgers the favorite to win the NL West pennant, especially since star pitcher Brad Penny is slated to resume his position in the starting rotation later this week against San Francisco.

Rafael Furcal, shortstop and spiritual guru for the Men in Blue, will rejoin the team at the start of September, another move that should help Da Bums make the playoffs, and more, this season.

Think about it: In the most critical "dog days" of summer, Los Angeles will have added an All Star pitcher and two future Hall of Fame position players to the roster.

What is that you say? Sounds like a sixth World Series Championship headed to the LA Dodgers' trophy case?

Perhaps, but after the colossal choke-job by the San Francisco Giants in the 2002 World Series, it's wise not to count championship rings before the fourth series victory is final, and indelibly entered in the record books.

Meanwhile, speaking of San Francisco, the sad sack Giants continue to march relentlessly toward their fourth consecutive losing season. And while the Los Angeles Dodgers have won five world championships, the San Francisco Giants have never had that honor.

Given the generation divide between players in their 20s and 40s on this roster, the 2008 Giants resemble a father-son entry in a fast-pitch beer league, rather than a bonafide team in the National League.

Now that Barry Bonds is no longer a Giant, the only reason for going out to AT&T Park is to watch once-arrogant Giants' fans grovel in drunken misery as the losses for their beloved G-men keep piling up!

Enterprising taxi cab drivers are cashing in by offering one-way, discount fares from the ball yard straight away to the nearest vacant ledge on the Golden Gate Bridge (GGB) from which disgusted Giants fans can drown their sorrows, and selves, in one final act of desperation.

Fans intent on ending it all are cautioned to do so before the seventh inning to avoid traffic jams and long jumping lines on the bridge.

After finally conceding that the 2008 Giants are not headed for post-season play, team management appears committed to proving that the San Francisco Giants can lose 100 games without a 44 year old cripple and indicted steroids addict in left field.

Why spend $20 million a year on an alleged steroids junkie and perjurer when left field can be turned over to a 21-year old illegal alien drug dealer from Mayor Gavin Newsom's sanctuary city?

After all, convicted felons shielded from deportation by Mayor Newsom's goofy program will play for minimum wage plus commissions earned by selling dope to distressed fans seeking refuge under the bleachers while waiting for cabs to the GGB.

There is another terrific reason to visit AT&T Park: 2008 marks the 50th anniversary of the great move from New York and Brooklyn by Horace Stoneham of the Giants and Walter O'Malley of the Dodgers, who escaped to San Francisco and Los Angeles, respectively, in the greatest scandal involving child abandonment ever recorded in the long and storied history of baseball.

Above all else, Happy Anniversary New York and Brooklyn!

Why Limit Reparations to Blacks, Native Americans?

Satire By John Lillpop

In his drive to lock up the black and Native American voting blocs for November, Barack Obama recently advised people in those groups that they deserve much more than words of apology.

The candidate did so by saying, in part, "I consistently believe that.... the most important thing for the U.S. government to do is not just offer words, but offer deeds."

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To those not yet conversant in Obamaease, "deeds" means cold hard cash, as in reparations.

Given Obama's overwhelming generosity when it comes to giving away other people's treasure, one wonders why he limited his socialist scheme to blacks and native Americans?

After all, there must be tens of millions of reparations-worthy folk who could be tempted to Vote Obama, provided that the right financial incentives were on the table.

For example, what about Mexicans, both those living here and in Mexico?

Angry white folks stole land rightfully belonging to Mexico more than 150 years ago. Never mind that Mexicans stole the land from Native Americans, the fact is that angry whites conquered the land, established English as the native tongue, and treated Mexicans so poorly that only about 40 million or so have even bothered to come back as illegal aliens!

The devastation to the self-esteem of Mexicans has been enormous.

Think about it: If the "manifest destiny" pursued by white dudes had petered out, say, in Ohio, today the nation of Mexico would be the technology, financial, military, and cultural capitol of the world.

As it is, because land-hungry Caucasians marched relentlessly from sea to shining sea, Mexico has been relegated to a third-world player known mostly for exporting illiterate peasants and salmonella-tainted peppers!

The utter humiliation of being recognized as a Mexican in today's high-technology, sophisticated world should entitle all persons so victimized to free education, health care, housing, and food, or roughly the equivalent of the McCain-Kennedy amnesty debacle from last summer, courtesy of American taxpayers, of course.

Team Obama has recently committed $20 million in campaign funds to reach out to Latino voters. A far more effective and less expensive (for Obama) alternative would be to promise reparations for all Mexicans on both sides of the border!

Then we have the British.

Yes, I know the Brits are wonky, imperialist Caucasians themselves.

However, in the interest of fairness, Obama should consider the irreparable damage done to the British Empire by that band of angry white men in the 1770s.

You know, Barack, those American rebels who mucked up the world with radical concepts like independence, democracy, freedom, equality, and other contemptuous notions aimed squarely at British Royalty.

Losing their American colony to folks like George Washington, Paul Revere, Thomas Jefferson and other American scalawags devastated the British and eventually cost royalty its preeminence around the globe.

Therefore, Americans must be held accountable for ripping off King George III and the kings and queens that followed. No less than a few trillion dollars should be committed in reparations to the Queen, her mum, and all British subjects deemed reparations-worthy by the ACLU and the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco.

Finally, in the unlikely event that there is a single dime that has not been shipped off to compensate those who have suffered real or imagined abuse at the hands of angry white Americans, Team Obama could look into reparations for the original African ancestors of notable Americans like Oprah Winfrey, Tiger Woods, Michael Jackson, Barry Bonds, and other superstars in the NBA, the NFL and major league baseball.

Africa has seen many of its talented sons and daughters exploited in order to entertain rich white Americans while devastating Africa's professional basketball, golf, baseball, football, acting, and music industries.

For those crimes, someone should pay. And according to Barack Obama, that "someone" should be American taxpayers!




* WND: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/?pageId=71043