Use Economic Stimulus to Bail out American Citizens with Jobs!

By John W. Lillpop

In exchange for being allowed to saddle American citizens with budget deficits of nearly $1 trillion dollars a year for as far as the eye can see, President Obama has promised to create nearly four million jobs.

However, a major question that the president and his party must immediately answer is:

Will the four million jobs, funded by American taxpayers, be awarded exclusively to American citizens, or will illegal aliens be allowed to steal even more public services to which they are not entitled?

With the ranks of the unemployed swelling precipitously, the notion that "Illegal aliens are needed to do work Americans will not do" is becoming less and less believable, and more and more offensive with each jobless report issued by the Labor Department.

As reported, in part, by Yahoo News, "The number of people receiving unemployment benefits has reached an all-time record, the government said Thursday, as layoffs spread throughout the economy."

President Obama has promised to put millions of Americans to work on the nation's infra-structure, i.e., crumbling bridges, schools, roads, public transportation and the like.

Infrastructure work means manual labor, jobs that greedy corporate executives often fill with illegal aliens in order to save money on salaries and benefits.

However, at a time when America is flirting with an economic meltdown of historic proportions, profit before patriotism is downright repugnant and un-American!

American Citizens Only! must be the mindset driving President Obama and Congress when it comes to doling out scores of billions of taxpayer money in plum contracts to private enterprises.

In this instance, the liberal obsession with regulating business can actually be useful if it leads to appropriate oversight on behalf of American citizens.

President Obama must veto legislation that fails to specifically state that all jobs created as a result of the economic stimulus shall be filled by American citizens, and only American citizens!

More Suited for Elective Office: Rush or Oprah?

Satire by John W. Lillpop

How is it that talk show hosts are mentioned so prominently in political news these days?

The latest kerfuffel originated with President Obama who, despite the ugliest economy in 80 years, two foreign wars, each longer than World War 11, and an unmanageable glut of domestic messes left by former President George W. Bush, found time and the audacity to lecture Republicans about their radio listening habits.

Two immediate questions come to mind:

1. Has Obama EVER listened to El Rushbo? If so, how recently and what, if anything, did BHO learn?

2. Why would the most liberal president in history suppose that conservatives would give a tinker's dam about his views on El Rushbo?

Think about it: How would BHO react if a leading Republican senator demanded that the president, " Stop listening to Oprah!"

Would such a plea persuade BHO to watch C-Span instead of America's weight loss/gain guru every afternoon?

Adding to the insanity is the revelation by Illinois Governor Blagojevich that he actually considering appointing Oprah Winfrey to the U.S. Senate seat vacated by Obama's successful purchase of the White House.

Two intriguing questions spin out from Blago's disclosure:

1. Is the governor laying the groundwork for an insanity plea?

2. Did Oprah lose the Senate seat because hers was a "low-ball" offer?


As for El Rushbo, the man is clearly best suited for high office.

Among his superior attributes are his grit and determination in taking off and keeping off unsightly fat, something that Oprah has never managed.

His other major advantage involves integrity and character: Limbaugh is not from Chicago and has no history of being a mobster, a moniker that automatically applies to anyone who has dabbled in Illinois politics.

Besides, Limbaugh owns a huge polling advantage: There are one hell of a lot more ditto heads than welfare queens out there!

While BHO Offers Olive Branch, Iran Nears "Critical Mass"

By John W. Lillpop

President Obama continued his "remaking of America" project by granting his first interview as United States President to the Al-Arabiya news channel.

Among other things, Barack Hussein Obama said the following (partially excerpted from Reference 1):

'Americans are not your enemy.'

Obama's curt message was immediately interpreted to mean that George W. Bush and all who ever voted for him, or who served in his corrupt administration, are NOT Americans.

More excerpts from Reference 1, in part:

"The president expressed an intention to engage the Middle East immediately and his new envoy to the region, former Sen. George J. Mitchell, was expected to arrived in Egypt on Tuesday for a visit that will also take him to Israel, the West Bank, Jordan, Turkey and Saudi Arabia.

"What I told him (George Mitchell) is start by listening, because all too often the United States starts by dictating," Obama told the interviewer."

Roughly translated, that means "God Damn America!" according to those familiar with Holy sermons delivered from the pulpit by Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Obama's spiritual adviser for 20 years until the reverend was run over by a campaign bus driver with the initials BHO stenciled on his uniform.

Showcasing his impeccable timing and political acumen, President Obama's anti-American blurb on Al-Arabiya TV came at about the same time as the world was being told that Iran will have enough enriched uranium to make a nuclear weapon.

As reported in Reference 2, in part:

"Iran will have enough enriched uranium to make a single nuclear weapon later this year, the prestigious International Institute for Strategic Studies (IISS) predicts.

"This points to Tehran's continued development of long-range ballistic missiles able to reach targets in Israel and beyond."

Roughly translated, that means "The chickens are coming home to roost" and the United States is completely to blame!

May Allah keep and bless the warped community organizer who is waging Jihad against America and her people from the Oval Office!


Reference 1:

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20090127/D95VFH581.html

Reference 2

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Nuclear-Weapon-From-Iran-Within-A-Year-Expert-Says-Country-Will-Have-Enough-Uranium-For-Warhead/Article/200901415211260

Nancy Pelosi: Use Condoms to Stimulate the Economy!

Satire by John W. Lillpop

According to Speaker Nancy Pelosi, U.S. taxpayers need to spend several hundred million dollars on birth control in order to help stimulate the depressed economy.

As reported, in part, on the Drudge Report, Reference 1:

"Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi boldly defended a move to add birth control funding to the new economic "stimulus" package, claiming "contraception will reduce costs to the states and to the federal government."

"Pelosi, the mother of 5 children and 6 grandchildren, who once said, "Nothing in my life will ever, ever compare to being a mom," seemed to imply babies are somehow a burden on the treasury.

The revelation came during an exchange Sunday morning on ABC's THIS WEEK.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Hundreds of millions of dollars to expand family planning services. How is that stimulus?

PELOSI: Well, the family planning services reduce cost. They reduce cost. The states are in terrible fiscal budget crises now and part of what we do for children's health, education and some of those elements are to help the states meet their financial needs. One of those - one of the initiatives you mentioned, the contraception, will reduce costs to the states and to the federal government. "

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Pelosi's unique thoughts for dealing with the economic crisis may spawn a whole new era of progressive and not-so-progressive economic solutions such as:

War is hell, but it works!

America recovered from the Great Depression, not because of President Roosevelt's "new deal" of socialism and big government, but because of his behind the scenes finageling that dragged America into World War 11.

Bullets, tanks, war ships, fighter planes, and shipping hundreds of thousands of young men and women over seas saved America in the 1940s and the same strategy can do so again.

President Obama needs to reinstate the draft and start two or three wars as soon as possible!

Guns Kill--and That is Good for the Economy!

One of the greatest obstacles to free market growth and economic expansion is the anti-gun thinking of left wing nut balls like Nancy Pelosi.

After all, increased gun sales mean more shooting deaths and a bigger bang for the stimulus buck.

Eliminate all federal, state, and local controls on gun sales and ownership and watch the economy go Boom!

Drunk Driving--Your Patriotic Duty!

Drunk driving resulting in fatal crashes can be a real win-win for the American economy, especially when the drunk driver wipes out himself and several innocent, non-tax paying leeches in one horrific mess.

Intellectuals like Nancy Pelosi should encourage widespread drunk driving by running catchy national slogans like this:

"Drunk Driving causes fatal car crashes which stimulate the economy. Do your part by drinking and driving as much as possible, especially in crowded residential areas!"

Addition by Subtraction: The Case for Abortion!

With the economy in turmoil, unemployment sky high, and home foreclosures out pacing new home construction and sales, responsible progressives need to promote abortion as an alternative to bankruptcy.

In this scenario, Nancy Pelosi should deliver a personal message to American women facing pregnancy and bankruptcy at the same time. A spot featuring the bug-eyed grandma would work wonders with the following monologue:

"Hello, I am Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the United States House of Representatives.

"I know that many pregnant women are worried about how they will support a new baby without a job and with credit cards maxed out.

"Relax. We Democrats are here to help you make it through these tough economic times.

"Democrats are compassionate people who care about the average Josephine and her financial issues. Which is why I am pleased to announce that the economic stimulus bill includes an abortion bail out that may solve all of your problems.

"For pregnant Catholic girls, rest assured that the Catholic Fathers have never really decided when life begins, so this is not a matter that will in any way impact your right to Holy Communion or your good standing in the Church.

"Best of all, federal abortion funding is now available!


--------------------------------------------------------------

There you go, a simple but effective set of actions that the government can take to shake of this hideous economic downturn!



Reference 1:


http://drudgereport.com/flashpbc.htm

Mega Ditto Heads, President Obama!

Satire by John W. Lillpop

In yet another bold move in a week of unprecedented executive action by an inexperienced community organizer in the White House, President Barack Obama abandoned several "old school" concerns harbored by the Bush administration in order to properly address more urgent threats.

Specifically, President Obama announced that his administration has managed to isolate Osama bin Laden to a few "hot spots" where terrorists are known to congregate, thereby taking the bin Laden crisis off the president's Urgent Action calendar.

When pressed for details, the president referred the press to CIA Director Leon Pinetta who explained that the "hot spots" include Baghdad's "green zone," Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Egypt, Somalia, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, and other Muslim states known to be sympathetic to the CEO of global Islamofascism.

Pinetta also indicated that sleeper cell neighborhoods in Detroit and South Chicago might be "of interest" in locating OBL, although further action would be dependent on convincing BHO to supersede his first Executive Order which dismantled W.'s unconstitutional, illegal, immoral, and secretive domestic wiretapping apparatus.

On a more cheery note, Pinetta declared that reports which allege that Osama bin Laden works as a fund raiser for CAIR in downtown Washington, D.C., at 1700 Pennsylvania Avenue, are "completely false and not worthy of further action or comment by the CIA or other federal law enforcement agency."

With Osama-mania effectively muted, President Obama rolled up his sleeves and tackled some of the more critical issues on the day.

Namely, BHO took on Rush Limbaugh, Republicans who listen to El Rushbo, and unborn fetuses, those incorrigible rascals waiting to pop out and destroy the environment, the global economy, and the world's food and water supplies.

As a result, Limbaugh, Republican listeners, and the unborn got a taste of presidential wrath of the type normally seen when a nasty boil shows up on the president's bum, or when a lingering hang over, brought on by not having enough balls to say no to at least some of the balls spinning out of control in the wee morning hours, continues to haunt America's main man several days later.

As reported by the New York Post and repeated below, in part:

"President Obama warned Republicans on Capitol Hill today that they need to quit listening to radio king Rush Limbaugh if they want to get along with Democrats and the new administration.

"You can't just listen to Rush Limbaugh and get things done," he told top GOP leaders, whom he had invited to the White House to discuss his nearly $1 trillion stimulus package."

With all due respect to the new president, getting "things done" is not in the best interests of America when the "things" are harmful to homeland security, national defense, the economy, and traditional family values.

Perhaps President Obama should stop listening to out of touch people like Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and other clue less liberals?

Instead, Mr. president, why not try to catch Rush's show which is on from 12-3 PM every day? Who knows, you might benefit from diversity of opinion and, with a little effort, might become the most famous "ditto head" in all of America!

President Obama also flashed a bit of competitive arrogance which indicates that he is probably better suited to arranging midnight basketball tournaments than serving as America's commander-in-chief.

From the New York Post, this additional information, in part:

"In an exchange with Rep. Eric Cantor (R-Va.) about the (stimulus) proposal, the president shot back: "I won," according to aides briefed on the meeting. "I will trump you on that."

"We are experiencing an unprecedented economic crisis that has to be dealt with and dealt with rapidly," Obama said during the meeting."

So, according to President Obama, in the event of an "unprecedented crisis" as defined by a Democrat president, the system of checks and balances built into our form of government is null and void?

Powers granted to the legislative and judicial branches of government under the Constitution are unilaterally trumped by the president when he has decided that he "won"?

Clearly, President Obama needs a crash course in Civics 101. Like three hours a day, from 12-3 PM, Eastern Time, for example.

All one needs, Mr. President, is an open mind and a reliable radio on which to listen to the man "with talent of loan from God, on a mission to educate and irritate liberals!"

Mega dittos, Mr. President!

Portland Mayor Sam Adams and His Beau

By John W. Lillpop

Big news coming from Portland, Oregon involving Sam Adams, newly installed mayor of this "progressive" hub.

After denying rumors of a sexual relationship with a teenage male intern, the openly gay mayor was forced into admitting that he did, in fact, do that which he has denied for more than a year.

The mayor's former beau is a gent named Beau Breedlove, an almost perfect name given the sordid circumstances.

So what motivated Mayor Adams to suddenly open up and fall on his sword?

Adams was in Washington, D.C. for the deification of the New Age Messiah on January 20, so perhaps the openness, integrity, and honesty shown by Barack Obama shamed the mayor into coming clean?

Then again, perhaps there is a more base answer.

Turns out that the Willamette Week newspaper was preparing to publish evidence of the relationship between Adams and his Beau, from the summer of 2005.

The big question: Did Willamette Week confront Adams with evidence that Beau Breedlove was a 17 year old minor at the time of the affair?

That might explain why Mayor Adams suddenly lapsed into brutal honesty by admitting that the affair did take place, while insisting that he and Beau did not breed love until after the young man's 18th birthday in June of that steamy summer.


From the Associated Press, this report, quoted in total, as published in the Seattle Post-Intelligence, reference 1.

Please read carefully as there will be a quiz at the end:

"PORTLAND -- A contrite Mayor Sam Adams apologized to Portland for lying about a sexual relationship with a male teenager he was mentoring, but asked the city to consider it an anomaly in two decades of public service.

"I screwed up. I blew it. There's no way to sugarcoat it," Adams said during a news conference at City Hall Tuesday.

Adams coasted to victory in the 2008 election, making Portland the largest U.S. city to elect an openly gay mayor. He was sworn in Jan. 1.

The 45-year-old said he has no plans to resign, but left open the possibility: "If it were no longer in the city's best interests that I stay, yes, I would resign."

Rumors of a relationship between Adams and the teen, Beau Breedlove, surfaced in 2007, when the city commissioner was getting ready to run for mayor. The rumor was that Adams had sex with a 17-year-old.

The pair denied the rumor, but Adams, with the Willamette Week newspaper preparing to publish evidence of the relationship, admitted Monday that the two were together in the summer of 2005.

Breedlove turned 18 in June of that year, and Adams said the relationship did not begin until after the birthday.

"In fact, Beau encouraged me to be honest about the facts of our relationship," Adams said. "I am deeply sorry that I asked him to lie for me."

Commissioner Randy Leonard, who defended him when the rumor surfaced in 2007, has now called for an investigation. Leonard's chief of staff, Ty Kovatch, voiced concern about Adams' decision to ask Breedlove to lie.

"It reveals a much more strategic and planned effort to mislead people," Kovatch said.

Leonard said he believes Adams can continue as mayor -- unless "further omissions and discrepancies" emerge.

Adams said he would cooperate in any investigation.

He stressed the issue is about a public official lying, not sexual orientation, and he would work to regain the public's trust.

"I will be subject to greater scrutiny because of this, and that is appropriate," he said.

"My reputation has been impacted. Friendships have been impacted, and that's appropriate as well."

Jeana Frazzini, director of Basic Rights Oregon, the state's largest gay rights organization, said she sensed disappointment within the gay community, but said the long-range impact is hard to predict.

"Our main concern is that we hope gay politicians who come after Sam don't turn out to be failures because of individuals who came before," Frazzini said.

Though Adams says the relationship with Breedlove was legal, he added that it was inappropriate because of the age gap. He said Breedlove, a legislative intern, wanted to meet with him to get advice about public service.

Adams said he wanted a chance to apologize to Breedlove's parents.

"I'm the one who should be held accountable," he said. "I was the older adult."

The rumor of an Adams-Breedlove relationship came three years after it was revealed that former Oregon Gov. Neil Goldschmidt had sex with an underage girl in the 1970s, when he was Portland mayor. Goldschmidt left public life amid the scandal.

Adams said he lied because he didn't think people would believe that the relationship began after Breedlove's 18th birthday. He said there's a stereotype that gays seek out underage children.

"That's a very inflammatory thing to throw out there," he said. "It's very difficult to prove a negative."


The quiz question: What political party is Sam Adams affiliated with?


Reference 1

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/396869_mayorsex21.html

Greater Torture: Being Water Boarded or Forced to Watch Media Coverage of Inaugural?

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Although I was (thankfully) able to avoid most of the Obamania celebrations broadcast by the liberal media on January 20, there were circumstances beyond my control that left me vulnerable a few times throughout the dreary day.

For instance, when nature called, I rushed to the rest room only to discover that jumbo-sized plasma television screens were mounted everywhere. Tragically, all were tuned to CNN, CBS, or NBC.

Dreary and depressing stuff, that.

Because of too much coffee and a weak bladder, nature called early and often, exposing me to a form of torture that no conservative should have to endure.

Given the choice between being water boarded or forced to watch Katie Couric, Brian Williams, and the gang at CNN deify Barack Obama, my only question would be: My water or yours?

In the interest of providing children with a fair and balanced view of America's bold new era, the following pop quiz has been gleaned from liberal talking points seen on January 20, 2009:


1. President Obama is:

( ) More important than Jesus Christ and God
( ) The embodiment of the cumulative spirituality, intelligence, integrity, kindness, wisdom, honesty, goodness, and love found in the Twelve disciples and all of the Roman Catholic Popes
( ) Infallible and Holy
( ) All of the above


2. Joe Biden:

( ) Is Vice President AND Secretary of State
( ) Works as comedian AND court jester for the White House
( ) Wrote the 1929 Fireside Chat in which President Roosevelt calmed America's fears about the depression
( ) Operated the TV camera during that 1929 Chat which was beamed throughout America in digital HDTV and surround sound

3. Obama's election proves that:

( ) Any inexperienced and unqualified black kid with $750 million dollars, ACORN voter fraud connections, and a gaggle of worshipping liberal "journalists" on his side can grow up to be president
( ) Black racism combined with liberal guilt can overcome America's obsession with Democracy and vote integrity
( ) The ability to deliver "thrills running up and down" the legs of dim wit liberals is more important than logic and common sense
( ) The premature death of communism has been greatly exaggerated

4. President Obama's Inaugural Address:

( ) Is more sacred than the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and Bill of Rights combined
( ) Deserves to be added to the Holy Bible as "The Gospel According to Obama"
( ) Is the most important 18 minutes of breaking news from Washington, D.C. since Richard Nixon's secretary "accidentally" erased Tricky Dick's Watergate confession in 1972
( ) Should be re-broadcast before each NBA basketball game, replacing that tired, old school National Anthem
( ) Should be the subject of an Oliver Stone flick titled, "The Audacity of Hype!"


5. As a result of Obama's message, millions will:

( ) Replace "Ask What You Can Do For Your Country" with, "What can big government can do for me?" gibberish
( ) Join the US of A communist party
( ) Cancel private health insurance plans in anticipation of Universal Socialized Medicine
( ) Stop making mortgage payments to greedy, corrupt lenders
( ) Join ACORN's "Reelect Obama 2012" campaign


6. John Roberts' flub during the Oath of Office was:

( ) Blatant racism intended to confuse a person of color
( ) A sinister plot by Republicans to invalidate the Obama presidency since the Birth Certificate fiasco flopped
( ) A feeble, last ditch effort to make eight years of language abuse by George Bush seem more presidential
( ) A high-tech lynching of a black dude


7. January 20, 2009 will be remembered as:

( ) Obamamas--a new inclusive holiday to replace December 25, a non-inclusive pagan holiday celebrated by confused Christians to commemorate the birth of a Jew
( ) The day that that stagnant, old Bush on the White House grounds was pruned back and shipped to Texas
( ) The day on which being a citizen of the world became more important than being a citizen of the United States
( ) The date on which being helpless and reliant on others replaced self-reliance and success as American virtues.

In keeping with liberal dogma, there is no "failing", or other self-esteem-bashing element to this quiz. You finished the quiz, which is good enough for Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Karl Marx.

Best of all, there is no longer a need to be hard working, competent, resourceful, goal oriented, driven, prudent, austere, patriotic, cautious, or diligent.

From now on, all of your needs will be taken care of by the federal government and Democrat politicians, like it or not!

Welcome to the Obama Nation!

Palestinian Children Used as Weapons of Media Distortion

By John W. Lillpop


If there is indeed a place called Hell, there must be a particularly uninhabitable section reserved exclusively for evil sub-humans who use innocent children as fodder for war.

Like some Palestinians, for example.

While the world gasps in collective horror at images of mangled young Palestinian bodies doused in blood as a result of missiles fired by the Israel military, many forget that Palestinians are directly responsible for the blood shed and carnage.

Launching attacks against Israel from Mosques occupied by children and other civilians is pure evil. Attempting to blame Israel for subsequently hitting such sites in self-defense is both evil and stupid.

A recent Israeli attack on a rocket-launching site unintentionally cost three Palestinian children their lives. Allowing the children to "play" in and around the launching site is unimaginable in a society that has at least a minimal regard for human life.

Unimaginable evil also causes Palestinians to raise their children to be suicide bombers.

How many times have we seen a Palestinian parent wail with pride when an offspring has blown his or her self into smithereens just to kill Jews?

How can a parent with such a blatant disregard for his or her own flesh and blood make a convincing argument against Israel?


For Palestinians who really give a damn about human life, there is a simple solution:

* Stop assaulting Israel with rockets;

* Stop hiding behind children and religious buildings to wage war;

* Stop raising your children to hate and kill Jews; and

* Accept the fact that Israel is a valid entity and will not be obliterated or driven into the sea.

Of course, none of these ideas will resonant with heathen who simply do not give a damn about human life and who, in fact, worship death.

Obama's Non-intelligent Choice for CIA

By John W. Lillpop

By nominating Leon Panetta to head the CIA, President-elect Barack Obama has confirmed fears that he, and Democrats in general, are not capable of applying sufficient priority to the war on terror and national security because they simply do not understand the gravity involved.

Obama's appointment even caught Senator Diane Feinstein off guard and riled the California Democrat who complained, "I was not informed about the selection of Leon Panetta to be the CIA director," Feinstein said. "My position has consistently been that I believe the agency is best served by having an intelligence professional in charge at this time."

Nearly everyone on both sides of the aisle agree that Panetta is a capable manager and amicable fellow who can work well with both Democrats and Republicans.

Nonetheless, Panetta's absolute lack of experience in the intelligence profession can be a comfort only to terrorists and evil doers intent on doing America harm.

Coming on the heels of the spill over from the Rod Blagojevich scandal, the botched Richardson nomination, and the stalled economic stimulus package, the President-elect
seems to be begging the question: "Is Barack Obama really ready for Prime Time?"

What, for example, would happen if, God forbid, another terrorist attack should happen on American soil while Panetta is CIA Director? What possible defense would the president have for placing a an individual without professional intelligence experience in such an important position?

More naive picks like Leon Panetta will most likely bring the new president considerable grief and expose the American people to unacceptable danger.

Why Is Bernie Madoff Not In Jail?

By John W. Lillpop


A cliché commonly used when discussing justice in America is,"You do the crime, you must do the time."

Fair enough. However, why is that standard of justice nearly non-existent when it comes to a despicable swindler like Bernie Madoff?

Madoff is the American businessman and former chairman of the NASDAQ stock exchange who was arrested on December 11, 2008 and charged with engineering the largest investor fraud ever committed by a single individual in world financial history.

Madoff created an elaborate "Ponzi Scheme" in which he swindled well-schooled bankers, Wall Street investors, charities, and individuals out of $50 billion dollars.

That number $50 billion is hard for most people to comprehend. Think of it in familiar terms: George W. Bush sent $17 billion of your money to bail out automakers in December.

Bernie Madoff swindled three times that amount from professionals and others that should have known better.

Despite the enormity of his crimes and the harm inflicted on countless numbers of innocent people, Madoff is a free man, after posting a $10 million bond.

While the U.S. Congress and prosecutors sort out the greatest hoax in history, the mastermind of deceit continues to enjoy a life of luxury and opulence made possible by that very hoax.

Madoff's successful run of felonies has put enormous pressure on the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), the government agency created in 1934 to regulate the stock market and prevent corporate abuses relating to the offering and corporate reporting.

For a complete history of the SEC, refer to reference (1).

The burning question running through the halls of Congress and minds of jilted investors is: Why did the SEC fail to catch this bottom-feeding crook? How in the hell did one man manage to steal $50 billion from some of the most sophisticated and tough-minded money people in the world in the heavy regulated environment of financial investments?

Has Bernie Madoff ever been investigated by the SEC?

In fact, the SEC did investigate Madoff at least eight times since 1992 as reported by the Associated Press, Reference 2.

From the linked reference this summary in part:

"The many fruitless probes into Bernie Madoff:

Starting in 1992, federal regulators on many occasions examined various aspects of Bernard Madoff's business operations, but they never turned up the alleged $50 billion Ponzi scheme that led to Madoff's arrest last month. The history of regulatory failure in the Madoff scandal:

1992

Securities and Exchange Commission

Madoff's name comes up in a probe of Florida accountants who allegedly sold unregistered securities.

1999

SEC examiners review trading practices at Madoff's investment advisory firm.

2001

The SEC's Boston office receives information from securities industry executive Harry Markopolos raising questions about the steady stock market returns of Madoff's firm.

2004

The SEC looks into whether Madoff's firm engaged in improper trading practices.

2005

The SEC interviews Madoff and members of his family, finding no improper trading practices.

2005

An industry-based regulatory office finds no improper trading practices by Madoff's firm.

2005

SEC investigators meet with Markopolos, who alleges that Madoff's firm is "the world's largest Ponzi scheme."

2006

An SEC enforcement investigation finds that Madoff and one of his clients misled regulators. As a result, Madoff agrees to register as an investment adviser.

2007

The Financial Industry Regulatory Authority examines Madoff's firm. No regulatory action results."


Eight alleged investigations and a $50 billion Ponzi scheme goes undetected? Who in the hell were the SEC "investigators"? Big Bird and the Cookie Monster from Sesame Street?

Amazingly enough, Harry Markopolos, while working at a rival firm, wrote in 1999 that Madoff was running a Ponzi scheme. Markopolos now looks like a certifiable genius, a fact that is of little comfort to those whom Madoff robbed, or SEC commissioners and employees who are left looking like complete fools, or worse.

The bottom line seems to be that, as of now, no single explanation makes sense in the bizarre Bernie Madoff crime spree.

Allan Sloan, senior editor at CNN Money Fortune (Reference 3) filed this report, in part:


"CNN Money Fortune


"NEW YORK (Fortune) -- Yes, there really are times when life imitates art. A case in point: the Bernie Madoff scandal, in which the disgraced investor bears a startling resemblance to Zero Mostel's sleazy theater promoter in one of my favorite flicks, "The Producers."

"What do the real-life Madoff and Mostel's fictional Max Bialystock have in common? They used the same principles to pull off a big-time financial fraud. These are: If you're going to steal, steal big. If you're going to cook the books, make up numbers of your own - don't try to doctor the real ones. And, finally, if you're going to fleece people, turn down enough potential investors so that those whose money you take feel so honored that they don't do basic homework to find out about you.

"No, I'm not making light of what Madoff did, which has ruined the lives of people who went to sleep feeling rich and woke up poor, and which has devastated worthy charities. I'm just trying to show you how the world works, and why we see the same things, year after year, decade after decade, with frauds like Madoff and the Bayou hedge funds and other less famous sleazoids.

"How could the Securities and Exchange Commission, which admits it had gotten tips about Madoff for years, bring some penny-ante insider-trading claim against Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban while failing to see that Madoff was ripping off billions from the likes of Elie Wiesel's foundation?

"Not to prejudge the SEC's investigation of itself, but I'll bet the answer will turn out to be that things have always been this way and probably always will be. If commission enforcers get a bigger budget and are treated with respect rather than being dissed (including, I'll bet, by some of Madoff's victims) as an obstacle to free markets, things may improve. But don't expect a fraud-free era to ensue.

"I'm saying this not out of cynicism but because I know how regulators generally work. I've seen it for years, in fields ranging from department stores to oil-drilling partnerships. You're likely to get caught if you run a few inches outside the baseline, because regulators are set up to catch that. But run so far out that you're playing on a whole different ball field? You can get away with that if you're enough of a financiopath, and your luck holds.

"Take the mutual fund "market timing" scandal kicked over by Eliot Spitzer back when he was New York's respected attorney general rather than its disgraced "love guv." As you may recall, many foreign-stock mutual funds - which, like all mutual funds, are regulated up the wazoo by the SEC - were allowing hedge funds to do quick trades that ripped off the funds' long-term investors by diverting profits from them to the hedgies. (This really should have been called "skimming," but that's another story.)

"Spitzer's folks got tipped to this game by an informant - but it turned out there had been plenty of hints, such as hedge funds telling clients about their "timing" activities. The reason the SEC didn't find this during its routine audits was that it wasn't looking for it. Who'd have thought that funds would be so stupid as to risk their most valuable asset - their reputation - for the relative crumbs the hedge funds threw them?

"No one picked up on our fictional friend Max Bialystock because he made up a fraud from whole cloth - he sold investors 25,000% of a ghastly, tasteless musical, "Springtime for Hitler," that was designed to fail and let him keep the money, but became a huge hit. Like Madoff, Bialystock didn't have enough money to pay off investors who wanted their dough.

"Both scamsters also generated an aura of exclusivity by not taking money from just anyone. "It's due diligence by crowd, and it doesn't work," says Jim Mintz, whose Mintz Group specializes in background checks.

"There's a big move on for the SEC to regulate hedge funds. It's a worthy idea. But trust me. If a big fund is engaged in a big fraud, the SEC's unlikely to find it without an outside tip. Or maybe even with one. That's how things worked with Madoff. And how they work in the real world. And how they'll probably always work. "

Which brings up an interesting point about deposed New York Governor Eliot Spitzer: Was the powerful Democrat spending too much time and money on ladies of the night at the Emperor's Club to catch Bernie Madoff?

A video on Finance Yahoo (Reference 4), provides even more information on the Bernie Madoff story and is worth viewing.


References:

(1) History of SEC http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._Securities_and_Exchange_Commission


(2)

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iIXcRJuIjbkGKM5GT0txn4-1CJowD95H7FI80


(3)
http://money.cnn.com/2009/01/05/magazines/fortune/sloan_madoff.fortune/?postversion=2009010506


(4)
http://finance.yahoo.com/tech-ticker/article/152910/SEC-Investigated-(And-Fooled-by)-Madoff-Eight-Times?tickers=^dji,^gspc,dia,spy,qqqq

Sovereignty Day in Iraq: Worthy of BREAKING NEWS?

By John W. Lillpop


January 1, 2009 is indeed a memorable day in the history of Iraq and for the people of that nation.

So memorable and important, in fact, that Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki has proposed that each January 1 be officially celebrated as "Sovereignty Day," in addition to the traditional New Year's holiday.

In case you missed it, responsibility for a major portion of Iraq's security has been officially handed over to the Iraqi government. That includes Baghdad's "Green Zone" as described in the referenced excerpt(1).

Quite predictably, sovereignty day in Iraq did not rise to the level of BREAKING NEWS! in the minds of left wing American media, those "objective" souls obsessed with chronicling every movement, or hint of movement, by a Marxist President-elect dawdling in the warm sands of Honolulu's beaches!

However, the turnover did mean a great deal to Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki who said:

“It is our right to consider this day the day of sovereignty and the beginning of the process of retrieving every inch of our nation’s soil," Nuri al-Maliki said in a ceremony.

For those who care, Iraq has regained control of it's own airspace and is scheduled to hold provisional and national elections in January and December, respectively.

As reported in the excerpt from reference (2):


"Iraqis have a double opportunity to make their new found voices heard at the ballot box this year.

"Provincial Elections are due to take place on 31 January. And, according to the Iraqi Constitution, national elections will need to be held by December 2009 as well.

"After years of living under tyranny, unable to influence or hold to account the former regime, Iraqis are keen to once more practice their new democratic rights.

"Local and national elections were last held in 2005.

"The path of democracy and political maturity since 2003 hasn’t always been smooth. But it is taking shape."

So, why has the good news from Iraq escaped BREAKING NEWS status in American media?

For starters, Iraq is breaking news ONLY when young American men and women are being wasted in record numers, or when the American military is alleged to have reenacted the Holocaust by nuking innocent Iraqi citizens in place of starving Jews.

American deaths in Iraq have all but vanished, leaving the New York Times and other bastions of liberal propaganda completely depressed and disinterested!

Then there is this distressingly inconvenient truth: The "surge" crafted by General David Patreaus and commander-in-chief George W. Bush actually WORKED!

By the by, that would be the same surge that our Messiah in Waiting voted against!

Finally, ANY good news linked to the name George W. Bush is automatically relegated to page 1,120, or buried somewhere in the obituaries, presented in size two font, if you please, headline in lower case.


Still, congratulations are in order to the people of Iraq who can now look forward to the future without worrying about being tortured, maimed, or slaughtered by the "butcher of Baghdad," the late, not-so-great Saddam Hussein.

Only liberal nut balls like attorney Ramsey Clark, the man whose failed legal defense of Saddam Hussein should make him eligible for a Nobel Peace prize, believe that the world is not better off, and safer, with the despicable dictator permanently confined to a six-foot deep hole in Takrit.

Finally, although "Sovereignty Day" does have a nice ring to it, a more jubilant spirit might be fostered with a more colorful designation.

How about, "Purple People" Day?


HAPPY PURPLE PEOPLE DAY!

References:

(1)

http://blog.wired.com/defense/2009/01/sovereignty-day.html


(2)

http://www.fco.gov.uk/en/fco-in-action/uk-in-iraq/iraq-case-studies/iraq-elections09/