SatireAs a man of faith, I am convinced that our Creator would have long ago cast out every manner of liberal from the face of the earth were it not for one divine truth: The healing power of Laughter!
Each week, liberals seem to get goofier and goofier, bringing great distress to those who take these clowns seriously, while providing the rest of us with rich material for derisive laughter and frolic!
The week just ended has been no exception. Consider these comedic situations from the insanity called liberalism:
*Nancy Pelosi's curious interpretation of the Catholic Church's teaching on abortion;
*Oprah Winfrey's wacky rejection of the Fairness Doctrine as regards Governor Sarah Palin;
*Barack Obama's green-with-envy attempt to smear Governor Palin with lipstick better suited for a pig;
*MSNBC's long overdue concession to professionalism and objectivity in dumping Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann;
*New York Governor David Paterson's blind attempt at race baiting;
*Charlie Rangel's taxing lies;
*Joe Biden's concession speech to Hillary Clinton
after the convention and while actively campaigning for the Obama-Biden ticket, and
*Michael Moore's prayers answered by a hurricane named after a great Republican president!
What a week it was! The comedic jewels are chronicled below
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Hurricane Ike: Answer to Liberal Prayers?
It appears as though Michael Moore's supplications for death and destruction are about to be answered in the great state of Texas.
Hurricane Ike is scheduled to hit the Lone Star state with the force of a Category Three hurricane, bringing with it the prospect for billions of dollars in property damage and the potential for loss of life and great bodily harm.
Millions of people have had their lives turned upside down and have been ordered to evacuate their homes as soon as possible.
In a report on accuweather.com, "the potential for catastrophic damage is extremely high. According to Forecasting Manager Ken Reeves, ' In contrast to the major hits in the Gulf over the past several years, including Katrina, Ike will not weaken significantly before landfall. As a result, the damage potential is exponentially higher.' *
Just the sort of carnage that Michael Moore, a pig whether or not he is smeared with lipstick, and his liberal pals would drool over.
An added bonus for freaky leftists, the deadly storm has been named after a former Republican president.
Truly, the
perfect storm for liberal moon bats everywhere!
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Joe Biden Nearly Gets One Right!
Give Joe Biden partial credit for stating the obvious: Hillary Clinton would have been a better VP choice than his dreary old self.
Biden's admission, a feeble attempt at being gracious, is in fact, a meaningless bit of flaky snake oil since damn near
anyone would be a better choice than the arrogant, balding plagiarist from Delaware.
Had Joe Biden been a real gentleman and patriot, he would have blessed the electorate with these words:
"To be perfectly frank, Governor Sarah Palin is even more qualified than Hillary Clinton to serve in the White House. Governor Palin is smarter, younger, tougher, and better looking than the tired old feminist from New York, and Sarah is not an annoying bitch!"**********************************************************
Rangel Wrangles Around Paying His Fair Share in Taxes
In October of 2007, Rep. Charles Rangel, (D-N.Y.), shocked the civilized world with a proposal so extreme that it was dubbed the "Mother of All Tax Hikes" by reasonable folks (Republicans) in the U.S. House.
At the time, it was unclear why the rotund Rangel, head of the House tax-writing committee, would propose something so draconian.
Was this raspy-voiced bundle of liberal tomfoolery
that out-of-touch about the devastating effect that over taxation can have on a family budget and the national economy?
As it turns out, Rangel was not concerned because he has been a tax cheat for 20 years! Higher taxes mean nothing if you do not pay them.
Example: Visit a local car wash and ask one of the illegal aliens trolling for loose change his opinion about higher taxes. Without exception, the respondent will shrug his shoulders and express his complete apathy, in Spanish.
You see, illegal aliens do not pay taxes, but they steal public services paid for by people who do. If anything, higher taxes mean a bigger pool of dinero from which illegals can steal.
Charles Rangel's case is much the same.
Except that the powerful lawbreaker has been caught with his chubby fingers stuck in the cookie jar, and now owes the IRS a bundle in unpaid taxes, penalties and fines.
According to the likable Rangel, he has gone 20 years without knowing the details of his beach property in the Dominican Republic.
Here we have the man responsible for writing the tax code for an entire nation, yet when it comes to his own taxes, questions like "How much rent was collected?" and "How much rent should be reported as income?" are beyond his ability to answer.
In a real grasp at straws even for a hypocritical liberal, Rangel blamed the confusion in part on language and cultural barriers with the operators of the resort.
There you go! Another fundamental reason why English Only MUST be made the law of the land in America, the Dominican Republic, Mexico, and other locations where tax-adverse liberals have investments.
Still, it is best for America that this Rangel thug has not been sent to prison.
Think about it: The cost to feed the behemoth leftist might lead to even higher taxes, and that would make Rangel deliriously happy!
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Governing While Color-Blind in New York
Shortsighted Democrats are constantly on the prowl for a catch phrase or innocuous expression that can be twisted and manipulated into the immoral equivalent of the N word.
It is called race baiting, an evil practice that has been used for decades by Democrats to mask their lack of palatable solutions to the vital issues of the day.
Now a non-sighted nut ball, known more officially as New York Governor David Paterson, has weighed in by alleging that "community organizer" is racist code-speak for black.
Paterson is the blind, black, and bellicose adulterer-druggie who had the good fortune of being available when Governor Eliot Spitzer decided to spend more time with his family (and defense lawyers) last spring.
Sensing that fellow black Barack Obama was on the verge of a historic meltdown, Paterson recently decided to add his unique vision to the debate by saying, "At this point, Americans wouldn't tolerate a racial appeal. What I'm saying is that there are sneaky ways to try to hurt someone," he said.
Sneaky ways? Now that IS an outrage!
Now that the evils of slavery, Jim Crow, unequal justice, and racial profiling have been addressed, America still has to concern itself with "sneaky" words?
Good heavens, where the *F*** is George Carlin, now that we need him most desperately?
Reporter Don Dahler (see WCBST link) adds that "what disturbed Paterson most was what seemed like derisive laughter on the part of the Republicans at Obama's choice of helping his community rather than getting rich on Wall Street."
WCBST
http://wcbstv.com/politics/paterson.mccain.palin.2.813646.htm
Sneaky ways AND derisive laughter? That is downright un-American!
Clearly, America needs need tough new laws and a cabinet level department reporting directly to the president to investigate, detect, document, prosecute, and eradicate sneaky words and derisive laughter from the political process.
We could name the tough new law the "Fairness Doctrine," a suitable oxymoron for yet another foolhardy attempt by leftists to annihilate the First Amendment.
Just to show that the government really means business, let's really sock it to the fellow who maliciously attacked Sarah Palin with that sneaky "Lipstick on a Pig" jab, issued to elicit derisive laughter from gooey-eyed liberals not smart enough to recognize a meltdown by their candidate, even when said meltdown was taking place in front of their very eyes!
Still, perhaps there is a simple way to explain this community organizer conundrum so that weepy-eyed liberals like Governor Paterson can understand.
During the Viet Nam War, community organizers were the anti-war moon bats who evaded the military draft and rooted for victory by the North Vietnamese. They were NOT among the brave patriots who were held captive in North Viet Nam prisons, subjected to torture and great bodily harm on a daily basis for years and years.
Jane Fonda was a community organizer back in the 60s and 70s.
John McCain is an American hero and patriot who spent five years as a POW in North Viet Nam.
John McCain was
NOT a community organizer!
See my point, Governor?
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MSNB Opts for Objectivity, Professionalism: Matthews, Olbermann Bounced!
As further evidence of the devastating power of
Sarahmania!, executives at MSNBC have decided to clean up the airwaves by removing lefties Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann as anchors of live political events.
Matthews, who admits that he wets his pants in excitement when covering Barack Obama, will continue to disgrace journalism with "Hard Ball," a daily tragedy in which the host takes five minutes to ask each of his questions, and then refuses to allow assembled guests to answer.
Perhaps Matthews' narcissistic self-talk will be countered when liberals resurrect the Fairness Doctrine?
Olbermann, a former sportscaster, will continue with "Countdown," another dismal embarrassment on a network that should know better. This untidy bundle of liberal insanity is still trying to remember how to count to 10, wasting valuable network time in the process.
Viva Sarahmania!**********************************************************
Of Red Lipstick and Green Envy
A bitterly chastened Barack Obama is striking out like a rattlesnake in heat now that a gun-toting grandma from Alaska has stolen his thunder, absconded with his female voters, fleeced five million dollars from Chicago donors who should know better, and ripped off his mojo.
This is what happens in the big leagues of politics when a sexist community organizer casts off a 60s-something feminist and her 18 million votes like so many worthless American flags at a convention run by "progressive" socialists.
Things have gotten so nasty for the Messiah that some experts are no longer certain that the Anointed One will be resurrected and seated at the Right hand of power come November 4.
As one would expect from a community organizer who has never held a
real job with adult responsibilities, Barack Obama is not handling this CHANGE well.
He was supposed to be the cool, calm, and collected miracle worker who, we were told, was so charismatic and personable that terrorists like Osama bin Laden and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would be converted into Red Cross community organizers just be gazing into his Jihad eyes.
However, all of that charm and magic escaped Obama's persona when he slithered from the gutter and declared "Lipstick on a pig, still a pig," an ugly comment created by slimy left-wing nut balls still loyal to Hillary Clinton.
At first blush, John McCain and Sarah appeared outraged by the Obama slam. Until, that is, pollsters started to report that Obama's sexist drivel was driving women to the McCain-Palin ticket in droves.
Now the McCain-Palin team is praying that Obama will say something equally as idiotic again, as soon as possible.
Given enough Obama public statements to feast on, the McCain-Palin may be able to win the election without the need to campaign further.
Speak to us again, Holy Community Organizer!
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Oprah Just Says NO! to Fairness!
Oprah Winfrey's refusal to interview Sarah Palin will not cost the television mogul a regular viewer in my home.
There are no Oprah addicts here to begin with, have never been, and never will be because Winfrey's narrow-minded definition of herself as a "victim" is offensive.
Victim status legitimately goes to those fighting to feed their families and keep a roof over their heads, problems not often faced by billionaire talk show hostesses.
Winfrey is much like Michelle Obama in the sense that, despite being hugely successful and prosperous, both women harbor deep resentments against America.
Each refuses to credit America for the exceptional opportunities that have been afforded them; neither is grateful or "proud" to be American.
Furthermore, Winfrey apparently finds Sarah Palin "too white" for her television show. On the other hand, Barack Obama's skin pigmentation seemed to blend in nicely with Winfrey's biases and prejudices.
The big question: How might Winfrey react if she were forced to interview Sarah by a fascist government bent on enforcing the resurrected Fairness Doctrine?**********************************************************
Aborting Nancy Pelosi's Unholy Communion
Nancy Pelosi is an intrepid progressive who rarely deviates from the basic tenets of liberalism, including devout worship of abortion rights, the Holy Grail of liberalism.
She is also a Catholic, a fact that would appear to be in direct conflict with her stance on abortion. In a recent stint on
Meet the Press, Pelosi was asked to reconcile the conflict by host Tom Brokaw.
Pelosi's response shocked good Catholics, as well as some not-so-good ones, from coast to coast, and cast a pall over the mental health of the woman who stands third in line for succession to the United States presidency.
She essentially said that that church fathers, such as St. Augustine, had not defined over the centuries when life begins nor did they have a solid position on abortion.
Understand that Nancy Pelosi has never been mistaken for an intellectual, or a gifted genius. She has never been invited to speak about rocket science or cosmic mathematics before the local Mensa in San Francisco.
Nor does the Lady bring the credentials of a theological scholar to the debate.
Still, by claiming that the Catholic Church does not own a solid position on abortion, Madam Speaker crashed through the incredulity ceiling with greater force than when she became the first woman Speaker of the United States House.
She also sent some Catholics into hysteria upon learning of her confusion on an issue so critical to the teachings of the Catholic Church.
Living in San Francisco has given Pelosi the luxury of residing in her make believe dream world without being challenged as to her eligibility to participate in Catholic rituals such as Holy Communion.
Until now, that is.
Driven by Catholics angered by Pelosi's schizophrenic "have it both ways" behavior, San Francisco Archbishop George H. Niederauer may be about to abort Pelosi's Unholy Communion.
In a letter delivered to Pelosi's office, Archbishop Niederauer stated that local Catholics are pressuring him to forbid the California Democrat to receive Holy Communion because of her recent televised remarks favoring abortion.
For the benefit of non-Catholics and "Cafeteria Catholics" alike, Holy Communion is the top sacrament of the church. It is supposed to indicate a firm commitment to Church teachings, rather than an empty gesture made only to make one feel better on Sunday mornings.
Archbishop Niederauer's letter was a strong indication that one of America's most prominent politicians may soon be denied the right to take the sacrament in San Francisco.
His letter also offered an olive branch, of sorts, with the Archbishop inviting Pelosi to meet with him to discuss the matter before she is actually denied Holy Communion.
"It is my obligation to teach forthrightly and to shepherd caringly, and that is my intent," said Archbishop Niederauer.
One can only hope that Pelosi will accept the opportunity to learn about Catholicism and abortion from an official with the credentials and knowledge to teach her the truth.
The big question: Does Nancy Pelosi have the moral fortitude to abandon abortion as an inalienable right in favor of respect for all forms of human life?
Obviously, that remains to be seen.
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And that's the way it was, the week of September 8, 2008.
