Inconvenient Truth: Barack Obama Unfit for Command!

By John W. Lillpop

Barack Obama's grand tour across the Middle East and Europe was supposed to shore up the candidate's non-existent foreign policy and equally vacuous commander-in-chief credentials.

In order to control the news sent stateside, Team Obama took the extraordinary step of taking most of the mainstream media along. The idea was to chronicle the rabid fervor with which Obamamania is conquering the continent, thereby imbuing American voters with the "inevitability" of an Obama presidency.

As Europe goes, so goes America, right?

Thankfully, that is not right!

Team Obama would have hijacked scores of paparazzi for the trip as well, but decided to leave the photo freaks at home just in case John McCain collapsed from old age, or was found standing alone at a campaign rally in New Hampshire.

Strategy wonks working for Obama reasoned that John McCain could lapse into a "senior moment" at any time. Paparazzi slime balls and their unforgiving cameras would be vital to assuring that no stumble by the old man went unnoticed and unpublicized.

Despite the best efforts of Obama and his troupe of adoring news anchors, the 10-day love in with the Middle East and Europe served to confirm, with great finality, the fact that Barack Obama lacks the requisite judgment, character, and patriotism to serve as president of these great United States.

Obama's lack of judgment became obvious when he continued to defend his wrong-headed vote against the "surge" in Iraq.

Contrary to what Obama says, the surge is generally accepted as a success by most responsible politicians; Obama's stubborn refusal to admit that he was mistaken is nearly as problematic as his faulty judgment.

Obama's disgusting lack of character was exposed by his outrageous refusal to visit injured US troops. Grandstanding before hundreds of thousands of America-hating Europeans was apparently more important than honoring American men and women cut down while serving in harm's way on behalf of our country and way of life.

Questions about the candidate's patriotism were put to rest when the emblem of American flag was removed from the tail of the campaign aircraft.

Excessive displays of patriotism and gaudy Americanism might give Europeans the wrong idea about the candidate's commitment to neutering America in order to fit it with the rest of the world, right Barack?

Now that Obama has come home there should be no lingering doubts about his lack of qualifications to be president.

The great-unanswered question: Will American voters finally accept the truth about Barack Obama?

Why the NYT Rejected John McCain's Op-Ed

Satire By John W. Lillpop

Just what is it with Op-Ed editor David Shipley at the New York Times?

How can an objective editor at a major metropolitan newspaper reject an Op-Ed submitted by the presumptive presidential nominee of the Republican Party? Especially since the NYT recently published a piece by McCain's Democrat opponent?

Where in the hell is appropriate respect for the "Fairness Doctrine," Mr. Shipley?

By the grace of God, we were able to hack into Shipley's "Rejected" file on his laptop and uncover his critical notes backing up the McCain turn down.

The Shipley notes:

Memo to File:

Reviewed and rejected John McCain's editorial titled, 'My Plan for Iraq' based on the following professional objections:

1. Plagiarism. Although we have not yet located the exact speech, it is obvious that McCain has simply found an old George W. Bush, cleaned up the mangled grammar, and claimed the words and ideas as his own.

Besides being unethical, McCain's "speech" is more of the same old tired Bush prattle that got the US into the quagmire in Iraq.

2. Consistency: Unlike Senator Obama, McCain reiterates the same position on Iraq throughout his Op-Ed. No flip-flops are bad form, dull.

Shows lack of imagination, and is clearly a racist attempt to put down the next president of the United States.


3. Too pro-American, sugarcoated, patriotic. Needs to appeal to all NYT editors and readers, most of who hate America and want Islamofascists to win the WOT.

4. Time lines missing. Need firm time lines showing absolute withdrawal of US troops within sixteen months, max. Without timelines, zero credibility.

5. Fails to mention that George W. Bush is an incompetent fool. As Speaker Pelosi has so eloquently stated, W is a total failure.

All Op-Eds must have at least two zingers bitchslapping W, the most dangerous terrorist ever to occupy the planet.

6. Relies too heavily on warmongers like General David Petreaus for war strategy and plans. Needs input from anti-war intellectuals like Cindy Sheehan, Harry Reid, and John Murtha.

Balance, balance, balance! And finally,

7. Critical of Barack Obama, presumptive 44th president of the United States. Smacks of racism and anti-black bigotry.


DS

Note to Secretary: Please e-mail rejection notice to McCain campaign including an invitation to resubmit this right wing diatribe if they so desire.

Then please block McCain's e-mail from making it into my inbox. Have all McCain e-mails deleted upon receipt and reported as spam. DS

New McDonald's "To Go" Menu Features Deportation Special!

John W. Lillpop

American citizens are generally aware of the fact that eating at McDonald's can pose a serious risk to one's health owing to the salt, fat, sugar, and carbohydrate content of food prepared there.

But how many Americans realize that dining under the Golden Arches might also expose one to ID theft and financial ruin?

That may sound far-fetched, until one considers the news coming out of a Las Vegas courtroom recently.

Two executives and the corporate owner of 11 northern Nevada McDonald's restaurants pleaded guilty to felony immigration charges and agreed to pay $1 million in fines.

Company directors Joe Gillespie of Sparks and former vice president Jimmy Moore allegedly hired illegal aliens to flip Big Macs and scoop out greasy, salt-laden French fires.

That crime was bad enough, but Gillespie and Moore went the extra mile by providing invading criminals with false identities and social security numbers belonging to Americans!

FOX:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,384521,00.html


In addition to the fact that Gillespie and Moore are now convicted felons and McDonald's checking account is a cool $1,000,000.00 lighter, there is more good news: Most of the illegal aliens have been kicked out of America, sent home to their third world nations of origin!

This bizarre episode simply begs for a new McDonald's motto: How about,

"Try a Spicy McDonald's Taco, With Extra Salsa--to Go!"

President Bush Is an Idiot. Right?

By John W. Lillpop

It has become fashionable "blood sport" among intellectual elitists in the media, and among goofy iberals, to ridicule President Bush by calling him stupid, either directly or by inference.

The delicious irony is that those who denigrate the president's intelligence the loudest are often the same fools who will swear that Bush tricked 110 Democrats into voting for the 2002 Joint Resolution which authorized the president to use force in Iraq.

For a man with the supposed IQ of a burned out fluorescent light bulb, George W. Bush seems to be an overachiever when it comes to bamboozling, and defeating, Democrats!

Consider these remarkable achievements not often found in the resume of a "stupid" person:

*Graduated from Yale University with an MBA;

*Served as Governor of the state of Texas;

*Was the standard bearer of the Republican Party during the 2000 presidential election;

*Beat Democrat candidate Al Gore, incumbent vice president, at a time when the nation was at peace and enjoying prosperity;

*Secured unanimous approval by the UN Security Council of Resolution 1441 which condemned Saddam Hussein for possessing and using WMD;

*During off-year elections in 2002, increased Republican membership in both chambers of Congress, an unprecedented accomplishment in American political history;

*Secured approval of Public Law No: 107-243, a Joint Resolution passed by Congress in 2002 which authorized the use of military force in Iraq;

*Defeated Democrat John Kerry in 2004, in spite of growing disenchantment with the Iraq war;

*Despite Democrat gains in both chambers of Congress in 2006 due to anti-war sentiment, defeated efforts to reduce troop strength and actually increased the number of troops assigned to Iraq via the "surge."

In addition, the president has cut taxes and presided over a period of robust economic growth , now threatened by housing and mortgage crises that the president is not responsible for.

Most significantly, President Bush has prevented a repeat of the deadly terrorist attacks that cost nearly 3,000 Americans their lives on 9/11/01. George W. Bush has kept America safe!

In most policy areas, President Bush has acted wisely; his actions have generally made the world a safer place.

The fact that Saddam Hussein is no longer a threat to the world should earn George W. Bush international acclaim, rather than the abuse and scorn which has been heaped upon this honorable man by a biased media and Democrat Party still jaded from defeats at his hands in two presidential elections.


George W. Bush an idiot? Don't you believe it!

More About That 550 Tons Of Yellow Cake and Lying Democrats!

By John W. Lillpop

My column titled, "Bush Lied? What About That 550 Metric Tons of Yellow Cake, Lefty?" has been widely distributed and commented on over the past several days.

Comments received have been predictably partisan: Conservatives generally agree with the points made, while liberals almost universally reject the notion that George W. Bush acted in good faith and to the benefit of humanity by choosing to invade Iraq.

Additional information and clarifications are presented herewith:


1. I did not claim that the yellow cake was discovered in 2003.

2. The basis for the facts in my article was an AP report, the link to which is provided below.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/1107ap_iraq_yellowcake_mission.html

There was no other source.

3. Yellow cake is a very dangerous substance, which can be converted to WMD with the right equipment and technology.

To believe that Saddam Hussein lacked the ability or motivation to acquire and perfect the equipment for production of nuclear WMD is, in my opinion, foolhardy and naive.

4. Those who believe that presence of IAEA inspectors assured that the yellow cake was controlled and adequately protected from diversion overlook two vital facts:

A. Saddam Hussein kicked the IAEA out of Iraq in 1998. Given that fact, just how effective was the IAEA?

B. The IAEA was not, and is not, held in high esteem by some professionals and experts.

Those who wish to explore the facts further should Goggle "IAEA effectiveness in Iraq" to glean more information, which includes, in part, the following report from the Nuclear Control Institute (http://www.nci.org/new/iraq-ib.htm):

"The IAEA performance in Iraq has not been reassuring. Iraq learned early on that it could conceal a nuclear weapons program by cooperating with the IAEA. Khidhir Hamza, a senior Iraqi scientist who defected to the United States in 1994, wrote in the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists that Saddam Hussein approved a deception-by-cooperation scheme in 1974. "Iraq was careful to avoid raising IAEA suspicions; an elaborate strategy was gradually developed to deceive and manipulate the agency," Hamza said.[6] The strategy worked. Iraq, as a signer of the 1968 Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, was subject to IAEA inspections on all nuclear facilities. But IAEA's inspectors had failed to detect the Iraqi "Manhattan Project," which was discovered after the Gulf War by IAEA teams at sites identified by the U.N. Special Commission on Iraq (UNSCOM)"

There are undoubtedly those who would be able to sleep comfortably in the knowledge that IAEA was protecting one's loved ones from Saddam. That would not be true in my case.


5. Had the United States not invaded Iraq in 2003, that 550 metric tons of yellow cake would have remained physically within Saddam's sphere of influence. Again, perhaps that would not bother some, but in light of 9/11, it bothered many Americans, including President Bush.

6. My column includes scores of references to Democrat politicians and officials who repeatedly declared that Saddam Hussein had WMD and that he posed a severe threat to the world, including the United States.

Regrettably, all of those public words by Democrats get lost in the rush to give credence to the left wing mantra "Bush Lied! People died!"

In truth, the high emotions surrounding WMD and the war on terror itself appear to be rooted in unmitigated hatred for George Bush and Dick Cheney, rather than objective consideration of facts.

7. Lest we forget, there is also the matter of UN Resolution 1441 which, although it did not authorize the use of force, did in fact document Saddam's legacy of possessing and using WMD.

Refer to the link below for the official document titled, "Security Council Holds Iraq In 'Material Breach of Disarmament Obligations' " which was passed unanimously by the UN Security Council on August 11, 2002.

1441: http://www.un.org/News/Press/docs/2002/SC7564.doc.htm


8. In October 2002, the Joint Resolution to Authorize the Use of United States Armed Forces Against Iraq was passed by the U.S. Congress.

In the US House, 296 representatives (215 Republicans and 81 Democrats) approved the Resolution.

In the US Senate, 77 senators (48 Republicans and 29 Democrats) approved the Resolution.

In total, then, 110 Democrats voted in favor of the resolution.

President Bush signed the resolution into law on October 16, 2002.

The actual document itself can be viewed at the following link:

Joint Resolution: http://www.c-span.org/resources/pdf/hjres114.pdf


9. It has become fashionable "blood sport" in the media, and among liberals, to ridicule President Bush by calling him stupid, either directly or by inference.

The delicious irony in that is that those who denigrate Bush's intelligence the loudest are often the same folks who will swear that Bush sonehow tricked those 110 Democrats into voting for the war resolution in 2002!

For a man with the alleged IQ of radioactive dust, George W. Bush seems to be an overachiever when it comes to bamboozling, and defeating, Democrats!

10. In my judgment, America (and the entire world actually) is fortunate that President Bush decided to invade Iraq and remove Saddam Hussein. The president's action allowed the Iraqi system of justice to punish Saddam Hussein for his brutal dictatorship, including the use of WMD on his own citizens.

In summary, I continue to believe that President Bush acted wisely, and that his actions have made the world a safer place.

The fact that Saddam Hussein is no longer a threat to the middle east should earn George W. Bush international acclaim, rather than the abuse and ridicule which has been heaped upon this honorable man by a biased media and Democrat Party still jaded from defeats in two separate presidential elections.

Bush Lied? What About That 550 Metric Tons of Yellow Cake, Lefty?

By John W. Lillpop

For too many years now, left wing morons with support and encouragement from the biased media, have made the following idiotic contribution to the debate about the war on terror, and specifically the Iraq theater:

"Bush lied, Americans died!"

Perhaps he did, but on the other hand-- it turns out that 550 metric tons of uranium yellow cake, the stuff of which "dirty bombs" can be made, have been found in Iraq.

Although there is no "reliable source" to quote on this shocker, we do have a report from the Associated Press which, despite being a wing of the DNC, nevertheless reported the following:

"The last major remnant of Saddam Hussein's nuclear program - a huge stockpile of concentrated natural uranium - reached a Canadian port Saturday to complete a secret U.S. operation that included a two-week airlift from Baghdad and a ship voyage crossing two oceans.

"The removal of 550 metric tons of "yellow cake" - the seed material for higher-grade nuclear enrichment - was a significant step toward closing the books on Saddam's nuclear legacy. It also brought relief to U.S. and Iraqi authorities who had worried the cache would reach insurgents or smugglers crossing to Iran to aid its nuclear ambitions."


Seattle PI

So, if one is willing to take a risk by believing an AP story, one might conclude that there was indeed yellow cake in Iraq.

One might extrapolate even further and conclude that Bush did not, in fact, lie after all.

Quite apart from the fact that such a lie would make no logical sense, many prominent Democrats have made strong public statements in the past proclaiming their belief that Saddam did indeed have WMD.

Hillary Rodham Clinton is among those who expressed such a belief.

In addition to the new "Queen of Mean," the following leftist luminaries weighed in against Saddam before deciding that George W. Bush was the greater evil:

Ted Kennedy, John Rockefeller, Al Gore, Carl Levin, Patty Murray, Nancy Pelosi, Joe Liberman, Barbara Boxer, Robert Byrd, Wesley Clark, Bill Clinton, Tom Daschle, John Edwards, Dick Gephart, Sandy Berger, Madeline Albright, Tom Larkin, Harry Ford, and Diane Feinstein.

The exact quotes of these political luminaries follow.

Did they all lie?

"[W]e urge you, after consulting with Congress, and consistent with the U.S. Constitution and laws, to take necessary actions (including, if appropriate, air and missile strikes on suspect Iraqi sites) to respond effectively to the threat posed by Iraq's refusal to end its weapons of mass destruction programs." -- From a letter signed by Joe Lieberman, Dianne Feinstein, Barbara A. Milulski, Tom Daschle, & John Kerry among others on October 9, 1998

"This December will mark three years since United Nations inspectors last visited Iraq. There is no doubt that since that time, Saddam Hussein has reinvigorated his weapons programs. Reports indicate that biological, chemical and nuclear programs continue apace and may be back to pre-Gulf War status. In addition, Saddam continues to refine delivery systems and is doubtless using the cover of a licit missile program to develop longer- range missiles that will threaten the United States and our allies." -- From a December 6, 2001 letter signed by Bob Graham, Joe Lieberman, Harold Ford, & Tom Lantos among others

"Whereas Iraq has consistently breached its cease-fire agreement between Iraq and the United States, entered into on March 3, 1991, by failing to dismantle its weapons of mass destruction program, and refusing to permit monitoring and verification by United Nations inspections; Whereas Iraq has developed weapons of mass destruction, including chemical and biological capabilities, and has made positive progress toward developing nuclear weapons capabilities" -- From a joint resolution submitted by Tom Harkin and Arlen Specter on July 18, 2002

"Saddam's goal ... is to achieve the lifting of U.N. sanctions while retaining and enhancing Iraq's weapons of mass destruction programs. We cannot, we must not and we will not let him succeed." -- Madeline Albright, 1998

"(Saddam) will rebuild his arsenal of weapons of mass destruction and some day, some way, I am certain he will use that arsenal again, as he has 10 times since 1983" -- National Security Adviser Sandy Berger, Feb 18, 1998

"Iraq made commitments after the Gulf War to completely dismantle all weapons of mass destruction, and unfortunately, Iraq has not lived up to its agreement." -- Barbara Boxer, November 8, 2002

"The last UN weapons inspectors left Iraq in October of 1998. We are confident that Saddam Hussein retained some stockpiles of chemical and biological weapons, and that he has since embarked on a crash course to build up his chemical and biological warfare capability. Intelligence reports also indicate that he is seeking nuclear weapons, but has not yet achieved nuclear capability." -- Robert Byrd, October 2002

"There's no question that Saddam Hussein is a threat... Yes, he has chemical and biological weapons. He's had those for a long time. But the United States right now is on a very much different defensive posture than we were before September 11th of 2001... He is, as far as we know, actively pursuing nuclear capabilities, though he doesn't have nuclear warheads yet. If he were to acquire nuclear weapons, I think our friends in the region would face greatly increased risks as would we." -- Wesley Clark on September 26, 2002

"The community of nations may see more and more of the very kind of threat Iraq poses now: a rogue state with weapons of mass destruction, ready to use them or provide them to terrorists. If we fail to respond today, Saddam and all those who would follow in his footsteps will be emboldened tomorrow." -- Bill Clinton in 1998

"In the four years since the inspectors left, intelligence reports show that Saddam Hussein has worked to rebuild his chemical and biological weapons stock, his missile delivery capability, and his nuclear program. He has also given aid, comfort, and sanctuary to terrorists, including Al Qaeda members, though there is apparently no evidence of his involvement in the terrible events of September 11, 2001. It is clear, however, that if left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons. Should he succeed in that endeavor, he could alter the political and security landscape of the Middle East, which as we know all too well affects American security." -- Hillary Clinton, October 10, 2002


"Iraq is not the only nation in the world to possess weapons of mass destruction, but it is the only nation with a leader who has used them against his own people." -- Tom Daschle in 1998

"Saddam Hussein's regime represents a grave threat to America and our allies, including our vital ally, Israel. For more than two decades, Saddam Hussein has sought weapons of mass destruction through every available means. We know that he has chemical and biological weapons. He has already used them against his neighbors and his own people, and is trying to build more. We know that he is doing everything he can to build nuclear weapons, and we know that each day he gets closer to achieving that goal." -- John Edwards, Oct 10, 2002

"The debate over Iraq is not about politics. It is about national security. It should be clear that our national security requires Congress to send a clear message to Iraq and the world: America is united in its determination to eliminate forever the threat of Iraq's weapons of mass destruction." -- John Edwards, Oct 10, 2002

"I share the administration's goals in dealing with Iraq and its weapons of mass destruction." -- Dick Gephardt in September of 2002

"Iraq does pose a serious threat to the stability of the Persian Gulf and we should organize an international coalition to eliminate his access to weapons of mass destruction. Iraq's search for weapons of mass destruction has proven impossible to completely deter and we should assume that it will continue for as long as Saddam is in power." -- Al Gore, 2002

"We are in possession of what I think to be compelling evidence that Saddam Hussein has, and has had for a number of years, a developing capacity for the production and storage of weapons of mass destruction." -- Bob Graham, December 2002

"Saddam Hussein is not the only deranged dictator who is willing to deprive his people in order to acquire weapons of mass destruction." -- Jim Jeffords, October 8, 2002

"We have known for many years that Saddam Hussein is seeking and developing weapons of mass destruction." -- Ted Kennedy, September 27, 2002

"There is no doubt that Saddam Hussein's regime is a serious danger, that he is a tyrant, and that his pursuit of lethal weapons of mass destruction cannot be tolerated. He must be disarmed." -- Ted Kennedy, Sept 27, 2002

"I will be voting to give the president of the United States the authority to use force - if necessary - to disarm Saddam Hussein because I believe that a deadly arsenal of weapons of mass destruction in his hands is a real and grave threat to our security." -- John F. Kerry, Oct 2002

"The threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real, but as I said, it is not new. It has been with us since the end of that war, and particularly in the last 4 years we know after Operation Desert Fox failed to force him to reaccept them, that he has continued to build those weapons. He has had a free hand for 4 years to reconstitute these weapons, allowing the world, during the interval, to lose the focus we had on weapons of mass destruction and the issue of proliferation." -- John Kerry, October 9, 2002

"(W)e need to disarm Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal, murderous dictator, leading an oppressive regime. We all know the litany of his offenses. He presents a particularly grievous threat because he is so consistently prone to miscalculation. ...And now he is miscalculating America's response to his continued deceit and his consistent grasp for weapons of mass destruction. That is why the world, through the United Nations Security Council, has spoken with one voice, demanding that Iraq disclose its weapons programs and disarm. So the threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real, but it is not new. It has been with us since the end of the Persian Gulf War." -- John Kerry, Jan 23, 2003

"We begin with the common belief that Saddam Hussein is a tyrant and a threat to the peace and stability of the region. He has ignored the mandates of the United Nations and is building weapons of mass destruction and the means of delivering them." -- Carl Levin, Sept 19, 2002

"Every day Saddam remains in power with chemical weapons, biological weapons, and the development of nuclear weapons is a day of danger for the United States." -- Joe Lieberman, August, 2002

"Over the years, Iraq has worked to develop nuclear, chemical and biological weapons. During 1991 - 1994, despite Iraq's denials, U.N. inspectors discovered and dismantled a large network of nuclear facilities that Iraq was using to develop nuclear weapons. Various reports indicate that Iraq is still actively pursuing nuclear weapons capability. There is no reason to think otherwise. Beyond nuclear weapons, Iraq has actively pursued biological and chemical weapons.U.N. inspectors have said that Iraq's claims about biological weapons is neither credible nor verifiable. In 1986, Iraq used chemical weapons against Iran, and later, against its own Kurdish population. While weapons inspections have been successful in the past, there have been no inspections since the end of 1998. There can be no doubt that Iraq has continued to pursue its goal of obtaining weapons of mass destruction." -- Patty Murray, October 9, 2002

"As a member of the House Intelligence Committee, I am keenly aware that the proliferation of chemical and biological weapons is an issue of grave importance to all nations. Saddam Hussein has been engaged in the development of weapons of mass destruction technology which is a threat to countries in the region and he has made a mockery of the weapons inspection process." -- Nancy Pelosi, December 16, 1998

"Even today, Iraq is not nearly disarmed. Based on highly credible intelligence, UNSCOM [the U.N. weapons inspectors] suspects that Iraq still has biological agents like anthrax, botulinum toxin, and clostridium perfringens in sufficient quantity to fill several dozen bombs and ballistic missile warheads, as well as the means to continue manufacturing these deadly agents. Iraq probably retains several tons of the highly toxic VX substance, as well as sarin nerve gas and mustard gas. This agent is stored in artillery shells, bombs, and ballistic missile warheads. And Iraq retains significant dual-use industrial infrastructure that can be used to rapidly reconstitute large-scale chemical weapons production." -- Ex-Un Weapons Inspector Scott Ritter in 1998

"There is unmistakable evidence that Saddam Hussein is working aggressively to develop nuclear weapons and will likely have nuclear weapons within the next five years. And that may happen sooner if he can obtain access to enriched uranium from foreign sources -- something that is not that difficult in the current world. We also should remember we have always underestimated the progress Saddam has made in development of weapons of mass destruction." -- John Rockefeller, Oct 10, 2002

"Saddam's existing biological and chemical weapons capabilities pose a very real threat to America, now. Saddam has used chemical weapons before, both against Iraq's enemies and against his own people. He is working to develop delivery systems like missiles and unmanned aerial vehicles that could bring these deadly weapons against U.S. forces and U.S. facilities in the Middle East." -- John Rockefeller, Oct 10, 2002

"Whether one agrees or disagrees with the Administration's policy towards Iraq, I don't think there can be any question about Saddam's conduct. He has systematically violated, over the course of the past 11 years, every significant UN resolution that has demanded that he disarm and destroy his chemical and biological weapons, and any nuclear capacity. This he has refused to do. He lies and cheats; he snubs the mandate and authority of international weapons inspectors; and he games the system to keep buying time against enforcement of the just and legitimate demands of the United Nations, the Security Council, the United States and our allies. Those are simply the facts." -- Henry Waxman, Oct 10, 2002


Why did all of those Democrats lie?

Yellow Cake Redemption for Bush on His Birthday!

By John W. Lillpop

George W. Bush celebrated his final birthday in the White House with a flourish of redemptive news from Iraq: Because the "surge" is working so marvelously, Coalition forces have just about finished the banishment of Al-Quaeda back to their caves of origin, horns firmly tucked between their legs.

It gets even better! Despite the mockery and "Bush Lied" mantra of demented leftists, it turns out that Iraq did have enormous stockpiles of yellow cake.

This news is absolutely spectacular because it sends to the toilet claims made by Joe Wilson, Valerie Phlame, and other lefty screwballs that would have the world believe that Saddam Hussein was a misunderstood Red Cross volunteer victimized by an out-of-control Texan with a drink problem.

Although there is no "reliable source" to quote on the yellow cake shocker, there is the Associated Press which, despite being a wing of the DNC, nevertheless reported the following:

"The last major remnant of Saddam Hussein's nuclear program - a huge stockpile of concentrated natural uranium - reached a Canadian port Saturday to complete a secret U.S. operation that included a two-week airlift from Baghdad and a ship voyage crossing two oceans.

"The removal of 550 metric tons of "yellow cake" - the seed material for higher-grade nuclear enrichment - was a significant step toward closing the books on Saddam's nuclear legacy. It also brought relief to U.S. and Iraqi authorities who had worried the cache would reach insurgents or smugglers crossing to Iran to aid its nuclear ambitions."


Seattle PI:


How about that as a fitting gift for a sixty-two year old geezer with an IQ slightly below that of radioactive dust?

Happy Birthday, W!

Praise Be To Allah: Obama Dumps "Separation of Church-State" Foolishness!

By John W. Lillpop

In another monumental flip-flop sure to send retards at Daily KOs and Moveon.orgy into self-administered (and illegal) drug therapy, Barack Obama has seen the light and is ready to embrace God, and or Allah, as an integral part of his campaign for the Oval Office.

http://www.csmonitor.com/2008/0702/p25s10-uspo.html

So, if elected, not only will Obama not dismantle President Bush's program for supporting faith-based initiatives, but now the flaky Democrat has pledged to expand the God thing.

With this latest change of heart, Obama has once again abandoned the far left and its kooky communist atheist agenda.

Now the big question is: Who is going to take the lead in amending the US Constitution to remove all that verbiage about "separation of church and state" in order to conform to Obama's latest fancy?

Say what? No amendment is required since there is nothing in the Constitution about separation of church and state to begin with?

Praise be to Allah!

Obama's Flip-Flops Bamboozle the Left!

By John Lillpop


When Barack Obama started his fairy tale run for the White House, the operative term was CHANGE.

CHANGE this, CHANGE that, CHANGE everything, was the promise from the charismatic young Marxist who set the nation afire with his naive exuberance, confident demeanor, and ability to send "inevitability Queen" Hillary Clinton back to the US Senate with her tail between her legs and about $20 million missing from her personal checking account.

Those were the heady days of January through May when Obama took on the persona of a rock star, not only in America but also throughout the world.

As a rock star, Obama would probably be a terrific candidate; in fact, he would be nearly unbeatable.

But being commander-in-chief of the most powerful nation on earth is a bit more challenging that that. Indeed, when one is running for the presidency, voters expect the candidate to state his positions clearly and to stick to them.

However, much to the chagrin of dim wits at moveon.orgy and other lefty goons, Barack Obama has started backing away from his agenda of change on an almost daily basis.

Remember these promises?

Elect me, he said, and we will bring the troops home in 16 months.

Elect me, he said, and we will rework NAFTA to meet the needs of American labor.

Elect me, he said, and I will meet with terrorists like Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad without pre-conditions.

Elect me, he said, and there will be no retroactive immunity for phone companies that helped the government implement warrantless wiretapping programs.

In addition, Obama made a commitment to participate in public financing as a way to indemnify his campaign from entanglements with unsavory lobbyists and influence buyers.

Once Hillary Clinton was vanquished and the nomination assured, Barack Obama skated away from his earlier promises apparently with impunity.

Left wing fools like those at moveon.orgy are finally catching on--they have been bamboozled, big time, by the brother with Muslim first, middle, and last names!

Contrary to earlier promises, if elected, Obama will:

NOT bring the troops home in sixteen months;

NOT Work to re-negotiate NAFTA;

NOT Meet with the world's terrorists without pre-conditions, and

NOT oppose retroactive immunity for warrantless wiretapping.

And he has already sworn off public financing!

In truth, Barack Obama is nothing more than an old school politician, indistinguishable from all the others who work to assure that the status quo is maintained at all costs.

Still, it is very entertaining to watch the left squirm and squeal as Obama slip slides further and further away from their wrong headed communist agenda!

Watermelon: Modern Day Love Potion?

Satire By John W. Lillpop

Modern medicine has blessed mankind (and indirectly, womankind) with the miracle of Viagara, a costly but effective solution to "Missile Fizzle," euphemistically known as erectile dysfunction (ED).

Although Viagara is as manna from Heaven to those who suffer the withering effects of ED, medicine appears to have stumbled on a relatively inexpensive alternative that could revolutionize courtship, mating, and, in more severe instances, love itself.

Specifically, scientists in Lubbock, Texas report that a slice of cold watermelon can have almost the same effect on one's sexual "readiness to serve" as Viagara!

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D91M5EQ0B&show_article=1

Before delving into the details of watermelon as the cure all for those unable to rise to the occasion in life's most intimate moments, one should pause to ask, "What sort of perverted scientist would waste laboratory time speculating about the aphrodisiac qualities of watermelon?"

How is it that this hypothesis was even posed in the first place?

Perhaps some cross eyed nerd in a lab coat and face mask too tightly bound to his cranium allowed his fertile mind to wander a bit too much.

If so, he most likely asked himself, "Would watermelon improve the statistical probability of me being able to perform like a stud, instead of a dud, when it comes to intercourse? At a 95 percent confidence level with all "outliers" removed or accounted for?"

Thus was born a federal grant authorized by the FDA for a research project lasting five years and costing taxpayers $10 billion, not including abortion or delivery costs resulting from overly productive experiments!


Watermelon as a love potion will surely change most aspects of romance.

On Valentine's Day, for instance, amorous-minded males might eschew the traditional gift of chocolates and red roses, and instead bring their fair maiden a slice of cold watermelon and two forks.

Or, in the case of men over 55, two slices of watermelon and one fork, kept securely tucked away in his locked attaché case.

Taking the object of one's affection out to an expensive five star restaurant for a $200 prime rib dinner could become foolish and "old school" if a $3.50 slice of watermelon could accomplish the same result in one's apartment!

The only potential drawback would be awkward moments during a first date. How to explain those cold watermelons rolling around on the floor between the driver and passenger seats in one's convertible Mustang?

Still, the really skilled man will be able to convince his maiden to fetch the watermelon for him. The only question that a properly trained woman should have is, "Seedless or not, love?"

Some women, like the feminist fascists portrayed in the book, "She Inc." authored by Kenneth J. Gross, will resist fetching watermelons for their men.

Fret not, my male comrades: Without exception, all such women are not worth a slice of valuable watermelon rind anyhow!



SheInc.

Governor Gavin Newsom?

By John W. Lillpop


Dear San Francisco Taxpayers:

So, the administration of Mayor Gavin Newsom has spent $2.3 million of your money to house juvenile illegal aliens, rather than turning the felons over to federal authorities for deportation.

In addition, some kids were flown home to Honduras at your expense because some airhead bureaucrat was concerned that deportations on the brats' records would have kept them from coming back to America in the future. *

Has anyone checked the water in San Francisco lately for IQ diluting toxins? Being outrageously liberal is bad enough, but when your elected leaders deliberately work to shield foreign felons from justice, on the taxpayer's dime no less, isn't it time to at least consider a different approach, a new ideology, another party?

Mind you, all may not be lost if this stupendous act of stupidity and poor judgment terminates Newsom's aspirations for higher elective office.

Governor Newsom? Senator Newsom? President Newsom? The mind boggles!

* SF Gate: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/07/02/BAU911IPGK.DTL&tsp=1

Twelve Steps of Illegal Aliens Anonymous

Satire by John W. Lillpop


Alcoholic Anonymous has earned worldwide fame for its success in treating people afflicted with alcoholism. The heart of AA is the twelve step program which, when followed religiously, usually delivers the gift of sobriety.

Illegal aliens are much the same as alcoholics; in fact, most invaders are drunks. Because of the urgent need to rehabilitate these good hearted, hard working criminals, the steps of AA have been adopted to the lives and times of illegal aliens.

As could be expected, the original version of the Twelve Steps of Illegal Aliens is in guttural Mexican, written and produced in San Francisco.

What follows is an English translation, offered for the benefit of taxpayers that need to know how their money is being wasted on illegal aliens.

TWELVE STEPS OF ILLEGAL ALIENS ANONYMOUS


1. We admitted we were powerless over our drive to violate US borders, language, and culture in order to invade America and change everything.

2. Came to believe that Deportations by a power greater than ourselves could be thwarted by moving to San Francisco and other bastions of anti-American liberal insanity known as sanctuary cities.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to La Raza, the ACLU, the DNC, Barack Obama, and John McCain, and the mainstream media.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Finding none, we found "Family Values do not end at the Rio Grande" to be a mindless slogan uttered by a mindless politician bent on mindless pandering to Hispanics and mindless obstruction of the rule of law.

5. Admitted to no one, especially to agents of the Border patrol, Homeland Security, ICE, the Minutemen, and local law authorities, the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to march and riot in the streets should ICE or any other law enforcement agency even consider deporting illegal aliens to the Mexican side of the border.

7. Humbly asked Barack Obama and John McCain to grant amnesty to our sorry, brown butts no later than 1 PM on January 20, 2009.

8. Would have made a list of all persons we had harmed, and would have been willing to make amends to them all, were it not for the fact that we are but a collection of illiterate peasants who could care less about the fate of gringos foolish enough to get in our way.

9. Would never make direct amends to such people, especially since doing so would bring horrific damage to the Mexican economy and the sacred objectives of the Reconquesta movement.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly denied it and shouted RACISM! non-stop at the very top of our lungs.

11. Sought through alcohol and illegal drugs to improve our conscious contact with the omnipotent Illegal Alien in the Sky, as we understood Him, praying only for free tacos and ice-cold beer to sustain us throughout the scalding summer.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we carried this message to other illegal aliens and encouraged them all to vote Democrat in the November elections.


Happy rehab, Pancho!

Rush Rocks to the Tune of $400,000,000.00!

By John W. Lillpop

American super-patriot Rush Limbaugh has proven the superior value of conservative talk by landing a $400 million dollar ($400,000,000.00) contract that will keep the unvarnished truth on the radio airwaves through 2016.

http://drudgereport.com/flashrl.htm

With this latest salary surge, El Rushbo's yearly income now exceeds the salaries of network news anchors Katie Couric, Brian Williams, Charlie Gibson, and Diane Sawyer-- combined!

Having "Talent on Loan from God," has been an enormous asset for Limbaugh who makes talk radio and entertainment sound easy.

To the contrary, however, talk radio is anything but easy, as leftist dim wit Al Franken can attest.

Franken, who once authored a book titled, Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations, has parlayed cocaine, pornography, and tax evasion into a stunning failure at Air America.

Based on news accounts of Limbaugh's new contract, Franken is considering a re-write of his anti-Rush drivel which will be titled, "Rush Limbaugh Is a Billionaire, and God How I Hate and Envy Him!"

Tough tilly, Al.

If elected, perhaps you should introduce legislation making it unlawful for private corporations to discriminate against less talented liberals, like yourself?

Call it the "The Removal of Successful Conservative Broadcasters from Publicly Held Airwaves and Preservation of Liberal Talk through a Fairness Doctrine Act of 2009."

A bit wordy, yes, but spot on in identifying the misery and torment that El Rushbo inflicts on deserving liberals!

Democracy and Freedom: Blessings from Angry, White, Christian Males!

By John W. Lillpop

Although liberal politicians, aided and abetted by a dysfunctional and non-objective mainstream media, rarely miss an opportunity to tear down white Christian males, the truth is that that demographic has done more to benefit humanity than any other group in human history.

After all, it was a courageous band of angry white Christian men who offered all of humanity a glimmer of hope for freedom when, on July 4, 1776, the following Declaration poured forth from the hearts of those angry white Christian males:


IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America


When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

Complete Text:

http://www.ushistory.org/declaration/document/index.htm


Despite a complete lack of diversity, our Founding Fathers created a formula for self-governance and freedom that has endured for 232 years and made America the envy of the entire world.

They did so with no women, no Hispanics and other people of color, no gays or lesbians, and no atheists and non-Christians in their midst.

Faith and courage, rather than state-mandated diversity and affirmative action, lead our founders to bless America with the US Constitution and the Bill of Rights.

Our Founding Fathers needed but one language--English--to deliver their message to the world, a message of hope that still reverberates through the globe.

Those who persist with a mindless and never ending crusade to discredit our Founding Fathers need to replace the anti-white, anti-Christian, and anti-male rhetoric with a measure of thankfulness.

Again,that demographic has produced and perfected the most successful and prosperous society in human history.

They genuinely deserve the respect and undying gratitude of all Americans-- be they white, brown, black, red, or yellow!

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Taking a Bite Out of Crime!

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Having spent tens of thousands of dollars over the years for dental care, I have reached the point where I am ready to protest by shouting, Enough is Enough!

Despite donating all that money to the wealth and luxury living of my dentist, my front teeth are stained by a brownish-yellow hue, perfect for a bloke content with making a living as the "Before" model in an ad to promote tartar removing tooth paste.

Mind you, I do not smoke or drink, except when trying to figure out how to pay the latest bill from my dentist. That is when several double shots of cognac, taken with the unimpeded flow of full-strength Nitrous Oxide for an hour or so really hits the spot!

Of course, the "whitening" procedure is always an option, provided one has a few superfluous thousand-dollar bills cluttering up one's wall safe or bank deposit box. If not, the next best choice is to smile sparingly, which is becoming easier and easier now that Democrats hold majorities in both chambers of Congress and two far left socialists are running for president.

All my misgivings about dentists notwithstanding, I do make it a point to subject myself to an annual dental examination. I do so just to stay abreast of my dying teeth and the various and sundry bridges, fillings, and other dental "necessities" installed to assure a robust Return on Investment for my dentist.

Every year the story is the same: Go for my annual examination and, when the results are in, cancel all vacation and pleasure outings for the year in order to pay the damned dentist!

This year I decided to do things a little differently: I bribed the night janitor to let me take a peek at my file just to see what was actually being recorded about me and my decadent mouth by my so-called dental care professional.

Here is how my dentist documented my examination, by tooth number:

# 7: Re-carpet family room

#12: Julie's abortion

# 32: Next year--Plasma TV for 2009 Jaguar

The not so good doc summarized the mess with this dilly:

Mr. Lillpop's overall dental health continues to deteriorate significantly from one year to the next. With a bit of good luck, we should be able to get Paul through Stanford before patient Lillpop dies or runs out of money.

Receptionist note: My brother Axel is a loan broker--give patient Lillpop Axel's name and number. If all goes well, Lillpop will need a Home Equity Line of Credit to pay for my services next year. Also, ask bro about my referral fee.

Well, that does it! No more dentists for me. I am going to yank all of my teeth in one grand gesture and buy false teeth.

No more brushing! Or flossing! Or cleaning! Or insurance claim rejections!

False teeth: Taking a bite out of the crime called professional dentistry!