JOHNLILYPOMPOUS

In Arizona, It's a Young Rocket Scientist Versus an Old Moon Bat!

2010-10-30T04:52:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

Democrat Raul Grijalva is arguably one of the most extreme liberals in the U.S House where he has “served” the people of Arizona’s 7th Congressional District going since 2003.

Grijalva has parlayed his Hispanic ethnicity and extreme views into four winning campaigns, mostly without significant opposition from Republicans.

Some derisively call Grijalva the “Best congressman Mexico ever had,” and with good cause.

Grijalva has spent the past two years walking lock -step with Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi, fully supporting their Marxist agenda which has wrought nothing but ruin, and which the American people are fed up with.

Coming into this election cycle, Grijalva seemed unbeatable for yet another term.

However, in the volatile debate over SB 1070, Arizona’s bill for dealing with illegal aliens, Grijalva actually joined those who demanded a boycott of Arizona businesses and products.

Repeat: With unemployment and a wretched economy haunting Arizona and all of America, Raul Grijalva actually demanded a boycott of Arizona, his home state!

Even more pathetically, Grijalva made his stand over a law desperately needed to combat illegal aliens!

Grijalva’s Special Olympics performance on SB 1070 has opened the door to a legitimate challenge from a conservative Republican.

The conservative Republican seeking to bring common sense back to Arizona 7 is Ruth McClung, a young physicist currently working as a rocket scientist at a local engineering company.

With her education and conservative background, Ruth McClung can be relied on to NEVER do something as stupid as promotong a boycott of Arizona, which will only harm the good people of this state.

In sum: Arizona voters in the 7th District must decide between an educated rocket scientest with conservative values and an Obama/Pelosi moon bat.

Ruth McClung is the best choice on November 2!

Obama "Barking" Up Wrong Tree?

2010-09-09T10:31:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

Like a whiny infant upset by diaper rash and sour pablum, President Obama recently exposed his childish inability to handle criticism and opposition of any sort.

In Milwaukee at a labor-day festival to stroke big labor unions, Obama announced another $50 billion dollar “stimulus” proposal to revive the American economy which has yet to recover from his trillion-dollar folly signed into law 20 months ago.

Have you checked with VP Biden lately, Mr. President? He seems to think that America is “headed in the right direction," even with unemployment on the rise and the economy in shambles.

Perhaps Biden knows something that you do not, sir? As difficult as that is to fathom, stranger things have happened, although I’ll be damned if I can name any.

Back to Milwaukee and what amounts to Obama’s rattle-rousing against the Republicans.

As reported in the media, Obama complained that Republicans,“talk about me like a dog."

Like a dog, sir?

That seems most unlikely, sir, given the fact that the dog is generally considered “man’s best friend,” a designation that few, if any, Republicans would bestow on you or anyone in your failed administration.

As to another stimulus program, sir, most Republicans would be delighted to join you in a program that has a chance to work. Do you or Joe know of any positive benefit from the trillion-dollar mistake of 2009?

As far as Republicans talking about you as if you are a dog, why not shut them up with a common sense action to improve the economy? Like extending the Bush tax cuts?

That will send the hyenas scrambling for cover, sir,

Otherwise, just roll over and get ready to spend the next two years in the dog house, run by John Boehner!

Pelosi's Marching Orders for Catholic Clergy: What About Gay Marriage and Abortion, Madam Speaker?

2010-05-16T12:56:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

Speaker Nancy Pelosi is without a doubt a master of hypocrisy, as evidenced by her latest mind-boggling marching orders concerning illegal immigration, which Pelosi believes should be a high priority for Catholic clergy.

As reported in the media, Pelosi said the following, in part:

“I would hope that there’s one thing that we can do working together as we go forward that speaks to what the Bible tells us about the dignity and worth of every person -- and that is on the subject of immigration,” Pelosi said in her remarks. “Because I think the Church is going to have to play a very major role in how we, in how people are treated.”

“The cardinals, the archbishops, the bishops that come to me and say, ‘We want you to pass immigration reform,’” disclosed Pelosi. “And I say, ‘But I want you to speak about it from the pulpit.'

“I want you to instruct your, whatever the communication is -- the people, some of them, oppose immigration reform are sitting in those pews and you have to tell them that this is a ‘manifestation of our living the gospels,’” said Pelosi. “Our patron saint of San Francisco, St. Francis of Assisi, he said, ‘preach the gospel --sometimes use words.’ We need the words to be said because it isn’t being picked up automatically.”

INSTRUCT, Madam Speaker? Is it really a legitimate role of clergy to tell parishioners what to think and believe?

If so, what about gay marriage and abortion, behaviors which Pope Benedict XVI called some of the most "insidious and dangerous" threats facing the world today,” at reference1?

Is it your position that cardinals, archbishops, and the bishops should “instruct” parishioners against those “insidious and dangerous" threats, Madam Speaker?

I thought not.

1-http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D9FM362G0&show_article=1

Obama’s Dangerous Naïveté Concerning Self-Defense

2010-04-06T06:36:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

During the 2008 presidential campaign, Barack Obama made it perfectly clear that the use of disproportionate force was sometimes necessary to defend one’s self.

Of course, he was referring to Republicans challenging his presidential aspirations and other delusions of grandeur.

As reported in the June 18, 2008 Wall Street Journal, in part (1):

“Mobster wisdom tells us never to bring a knife to a gun fight. But what does political wisdom say about bringing a gun to a knife fight?

“That’s exactly what Barack Obama said he would do to counter Republican attacks “If they bring a knife to the fight, we bring a gun,” Obama said at a Philadelphia fundraiser Friday night.”

Hmmmmmm. Wonder why Obama did not say the following during the 2008 campaign: We will never bring guns to the fight, regardless of how violent Republicans become?

That would have been consistent with his wuss talk about taking the nuclear option off the table in order to defend America.

As reported, in part, at the New York Times (2):

“WASHINGTON — President Obama said Monday that he was revamping American nuclear strategy to substantially narrow the conditions under which the United States would use nuclear weapons.

“Discussing his approach to nuclear security the day before formally releasing his new strategy, Mr. Obama described his policy as part of a broader effort to edge the world toward making nuclear weapons obsolete, and to create incentives for countries to give up any nuclear ambitions. To set an example, the new strategy renounces the development of any new nuclear weapons, overruling the initial position of his own defense secretary.

“Mr. Obama’s strategy is a sharp shift from those of his predecessors and seeks to revamp the nation’s nuclear posture for a new age in which rogue states and terrorist organizations are greater threats than traditional powers like Russia and China.”

To moon bats on the left, Obama’s conflicting arguments make perfect sense: After all, fighting patriotic Republicans is far more vital than defending America against foreign evil-doers.

Once again, Barack Obama proves conclusively that, regardless of where he was born, he is not an American!

1 http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2008/06/14/obama-if-they-bring-a-knife-to-the-fight-we-bring-a-gun/

2 http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/06/world/06arms.html

Is Barack Obama Mocking Chris Rock?

2010-03-17T04:22:00.001-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

President Obama has managed, in just fourteen short months, to turn the words hope and change into bitter reminders of the fact that high-sounding oratory, without substance to back it up, can lead to disaster.

America used to have an independent, unbiased mainstream media that we relied on to bring simplistic rhetoric and exaggerated promises strewn about by ambitious politicians into perspective.

Like a school of hungry sharks sensing freshly-spilled blood in the water, American media could be counted on to rip and tear away at vulnerable wounds in order to uncover skeletal remains lurking in the closets of those whom would govern.

Vetting by the media was an invaluable, although despised, part of the American political process that protected lazy Americans from the foolish prattle proliferated by politicians without substance in their dossiers.

We counted on blood-thirsty sharks in the media pool to challenge the words, integrity, and claimed capabilities of the candidates and to share their findings in an objective and reasoned manner.

In a most unfortunate turn of events, the media lost its collective taste for blood with the arrival of Barack Obama on the national political scene three years ago.

This young, handsome man was highly articulate, obviously intelligent, very liberal, and photogenic.

Best of all, Barack Obama was an African-American with the potential to assuage liberal guilt over slavery, Jim Crow laws, and a history of racial discrimination, all in one fell swoop.

He was immediately bequeathed the Torch of John F. Kennedy by the media, still in awe that a black man could be so clean and articulate. Visions of a resurrected Camelot danced about in the minds of leftists from coast to coast.

There were no probing reviews of Obama’s candidacy. No one bothered to ask what he knew about the global economy, foreign policy, or even American history. No one bothered to do a critical assessment of his experience and accomplishments with regard to the responsibilities of the US Presidency.

Barack Obama was largely an unknown quantity to the American people and to the mainstream media three years ago; his tenure in the US Senate was brief and undistinguished. There was precious little in his background to suggest that he was qualified to take on the presidency.

However, he was eloquent, liberal, and black and not George W. Bush. Those qualities apparently trumped the need for substance, at least in the hearts and minds of the star-struck media.

Who the hell needs substance when the candidate can drive a “thrill” up and down the legs of hard-nosed journalists like Chris Matthews?

In many ways, the Obama candidacy and presidency are a parody of the 2003 flick, Head of State, starring Chris Rock, in which an inexperienced and unqualified candidate rides BS and circumstances into the White House.

The Obama insanity also rivals the Elvis Presley craze of the 1950s, when the young truck driver from Tennessee turned the music world on its heels by swiveling his hips and introducing CHANGE called Rock and Roll to an eager public.

The major difference between Elvis Presley and Barack Obama, however, is that at least Presley could carry a tune and strum a guitar.

The big question of our time comes down to this: Can America recover from the disastrous Obama presidency?

What's So "Super" About the Super Bowl?

2010-02-07T20:14:00.001-08:00

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Next to electing anti-American Marxists to positions of high power and authority, the greatest proof that America is in the midst of a massive cultural and social “dumb down” is the annual carnage known euphemistically as the Super Bowl.

Sold to a gullible public as an epic battle between two great sports titans, in truth this “event” is nothing more than another excuse for the unwashed masses to consume ungodly amounts of chips, burgers, and hot dogs, and to swallow enough beer and other forms of alcohol to solve California’s drought problems for a decade or two, provided that reasonable rationing is enforced.

Think about the curious timing of this so-called spectacular: It happens in early February, which gives the masses enough time to recover from the legal, social, marital, and medical upheavals of the next greatest “drunk out “ in American culture, that being New Year’s Eve.

Moreover, by early February most, if not all, of the meaningless New Year “resolutions” will have been abandoned in favor of returning to the wretched excesses that stimulate Type 2 diabetics, heart disease, grotesque obesity, early dementia, incontinence, strokes and alcoholism.

Fancy heath care reform, Mr. President?

Then push Congress to outlaw professional football, especially the Super Bowl, and watch health care costs drop quicker than your approval ratings!

Then get to work on a jobs bill to assist unemployed beer truck drivers, DWI lawyers, endocrinologists, heart specialists and a few million others in the work force that thrive on America’s addiction to debauchery and suicidal over consumption.

Outlawing football would also eliminate reckless gambling, which costs football fanatics tens of billions of dollars each year.

We know that President Obama is obsessed with the evils of blowing money in Las Vegas, so this should be right up his meddling, nanny-state alley!

What about the needs of dedicated football fans, you ask?

Face it, this so-called sport is nothing more than controlled gang violence staged for the amusement of millions of spoiled brats who sit on their already elongated posteriors in front of plasma televisions for 10-12 hours every Sunday.

The charm of football is best seen in instant replays played in slow motion so that fans can see the spilling of blood and the actual breaking of human necks, arms, backs, and teeth, time and time again. Concussions are a fan favorite.

Bloodthirsty fans can even DVD-tape the carnage for later viewing at church functions, family reunions, weddings, and other occasions held to celebrate traditional American family values.

Heed this clarion call, Mr. President: Outlaw football in order to reform America’s health care system in an intelligent, responsible fashion!

Obama Needs “Stupid Ideas” Czar

2010-01-30T07:17:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

America’s dreadful slide into to a Marxist, third-world abyss can be explained by the fact that our president is a 48 year old spoiled brat, reckless and fickle, unfit for command. Clearly, this president needs a “stupid ideas” czar to filter out his most dangerous ideas before they can be acted on.

Stupid ideas like closing GITMO, and trying KSM in New York City. Like a trillion dollar stimulus bill that has failed to stop the historic rise in unemployment. Like flying off to Copenhagen to campaign for the City of Chicago, only to be humiliated by the IOC. Like driving the national debt completely off the track.

Like criticizing American policy and leaders while on foreign soil. Like hiring 40 czars accountable to no one.

And on and on it goes. An aggressive “Stupid Ideas” czar would have nipped those Obama blunders immediately.

Unfortunately, the elected Congressional officials charged with providing “over sight” of the Executive Branch are too danged old to see their own flaws, much less those of our dithering president.

Consider the ages of these Congressional stalwarts:

Robert Byrd (93)
Diane Feinstein (79)
John McCain (73)
Nancy Pelosi (70)
Barbara Boxer (70)
Harry Reid (70)
John Kerry (67)

Does any one honestly believe that a geezer in his 70s gives a tinker’s dam about running up a federal debt that will be due and payable two generations hence?

The liberals listed above are interested in one thing and one thing only: Spend as much of your money on socialized medicine,illegal aliens, global warming scams and other foolishness as needed to remain in power!

Period!

Of course they insist that they are “public servants,” but with all due respect, just how much service is Robert Byrd providing? The man cannot walk, and is barely able to breathe.

Seems to me that a real public servant would do the honorable thing by getting out of the way and allowing a younger, more able Republican to take his fractured seat in the Senate.

Ala Scott Brown, Senator Byrd!

The same applies to Pelosi, Reid, Boxer, Feinstein, McCain, and Reid. Leave office now and let your career end with an act of grace and dedication to the best interests of the American people.

Yes, I know that John McCain is a Republican. But folks the man is more liberal than some communists, and he is just too old to be trusted with the awesome power granted to a US Senator.

We need a mandatory retirement age for the weasels in Congress. How about 65?

We the people also need a “stupid ideas” Czar to keep Obama from ruining his family name and America with stupid policies!

Book Review: Nancy Pelosi's, Going Rouge

2009-11-26T12:25:00.000-08:00

Satire by John W. Lillpop

In an obvious attempt to upstage Governor Sarah Palin and her fabulously successful Going Rogue, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has entered the book selling fray with her bleeding heart autobiography, appropriately titled Going Rouge.

While Governor Palin’s book is a rehashing of mundane political experiences from the 2008 presidential campaign, Pelosi’s book is more intellectually stimulating as it is describes the economic, social, and physical challenges that the most powerful woman in America faces in her never-ending journey to mask her 69 years with a lethal combination of botox and prescription cosmetics.

Pelosi provides a fascinating, but heartbreaking, account of her daily regime which requires her to get out of bed at 3am in order to complete her rouge routine which takes five hours to complete.

While Going Rogue is billed as a non-partisan, non-political work, Pelosi does stray a bit when it comes to promoting the trillion dollar health care reform bill that recently passed the House.

According to Pelosi, all women have a constitutional right to look as young as possible regardless of the costs involved, or impact on the federal deficit.

“Looking young is an essential part of the American Dream for women,” Pelosi contends in Fight Wrinkles, Not Foreign Wars, a controversial chapter in which the Speaker takes on President Obama and his Afghanistan war.

Pelosi believes that hundreds of billions of dollars being spent to kill innocent Muslims overseas should be diverted to providing “on-demand” wrinkle removal surgeries for poor women of color, especially those who speak no English and are in America illegally.

Pelosi proudly admits that the health care reform bill passed by the House provides unlimited botox and cosmetic surgery for twenty million old hags that are denied the opportunity to look young because of racism and bigotry.

Covering those twenty million hags under the public option advocated by Pelosi would significantly reduce the cost of being beautiful in America and would take a huge chunk out of the federal deficit as well, according to the Speaker.

Summary: A good read for those who enjoy the rants and raves of a mediocre mind devastated by botox poisoning. Not recommended for those with known self-esteem problems or a history of mental issues.

Greater Threat to America: Osama bin Laden or Glenn Beck?

2009-10-24T18:59:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

It appears as though President Obama has reneged on his campaign promise to conduct a relentless search for Osama bin Laden.

Indeed, one could reasonably conclude that OBL is no longer atop the Enemies List maintained in the Richard M. Nixon war room (formerly known as the Oval Office), said distinction now reserved for Glenn Beck and FOXNEWS

But why? What is it about Glenn Beck that sends a rage up and down the leg of the most powerful man on the planet?

Maybe it is because Glenn Beck is a conservative Mormon with a highly-developed sixth sense when it comes to spotting inept Marxists posing as Democrats? And Beck's pedestrian compulsion to share the truth. wherever it leads, would surely offend America's black reincarnation of Richard M. Nixon.

Or perhaps it is something about Beck's lily-white skin and short blond hair that sends President Obama into a manic explosion every time the FOXNEWS host has the audacity to exercise his right to free speech by exposing another Obama failure?

Whatever the cause, President Obama's vendetta against FOXNEWS and Beck has become a huge embarrassment to Democrats, and is an issue of grave concern to political experts who understand the importance of a free press in a democratic society.

Obama's recent attempt to turn mainstream media against FOXNEWS set off alarm bells in the minds of even the most liberal journalists, as demonstrated by their resounding rejection of the president's foolish foray into dictatorial politics.

With all due respect, it seems perfectly clear that our Special Olympics President needs to focus all of his energies and wit on those who would gladly maim and kill millions of Americans, rather obsessing over the rants of a man known as 'Mad Man' by Time Magazine!

Lest We Forget: America's 'Greatest Senator' Had an Owl in His Closet

2009-09-01T07:00:00.001-07:00

John W. Lillpop

Lest We Forget: America's 'Greatest Senator' Had an Owl in His Closet

Now that all the lying and hyperbole over the greatness of Senator Ted Kennedy have subsided, it is time to turn off the BS machine and resume the relentless search for truth.

During his life, the mainstream media crowned Teddy Kennedy as a White Prince in shining armor when it came to issues important to women. He was the Liberator, the Advocate, the Defender, and a father figure to tens of millions of confused females who bought into liberal misinformation.

In fact, Kennedy was a flaming hypocrite.

For example, three years ago, the favorite son of bartenders all across Washington, D C., attempted to paint Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito as a bigoted racist, owing to the nominee’s membership in a conservative alumni group at Princeton.

Predictably, Kennedy’s witch-hunt for intolerance came up empty. Glory be to God, however, because the ruse actually boomeranged on Kennedy who, it turns out, had diversity skeletons stinking up his own closet.

Indeed, the leftist champion of female everything was a member of Owls, an intolerant All Boys club at Harvard University that did not admit women.

Why? Simply because they were women!

As it turns out, all those fire and brimstone sermons from Kennedy about equality and tolerance were nothing more than alcohol-blasted hot air from a male chauvinist hypocrite.

In the end, though, Kennedy tried to do the right thing.

He quit Owls, blamed campus Republicans for the misogynist enterprise, and sent $5.00 to the Mary Jo Kopechne memorial fund.

Should Obama Be Entrusted With Control of the www?

2009-08-31T13:19:00.000-07:00

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Senator Jay Rockefeller of West Virginia has enough money to demand and receive the best psychological care available anywhere on the planet. So, perhaps it is Rockefeller pride that keeps the senator from admitting that he has a problem and seeking immediate help from top mental health professionals?

Owing to Rockefeller's overly ferocious pride, this disturbed senator continues to participate in the mis-governance of America, his latest "contribution" being a proposed Senate bill that would give Barack Obama control of the Internet. *

Proponents of this Orwellian nonsense seek to dull the pain of such an idea by pointing out that the bill would confer such control only in emergency situations and only on a temporary basis.

Of course, with Team Obama in charge, Emergency could be defined as anything from plummeting approval ratings to town hall meetings disrupted by goofy right-wing extremists operating under the absurd delusion that the First and Second Amendments are still in force.

Temporary could mean until the next election, which Obama could rig (like he did in 2008) by putting ACORN fraud specialists in charge of the World Wide Web.

And with the U.S. Congress in the hands of folks like Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, there is not, and never will be, any oversight of the Obama monarchy-messiahship.

Apart from the outrageous idea of granting even more power to government over the lives of once free Americans, Rockefeller's folly is particularly offensive in light of the current president.

After all, in just seven plus months, President Obama has managed to rack up more federal deficit than George W. Bush did in eight years. Obama has driven the American automobile industry into bankruptcy, his policies have devastated the U.S. economy and any hope for a recovery.

Obama has transformed the war on terror into a full frontal assault on the CIA and those (wildly successful) measures implemented by George W. Bush to keep America safe from terrorist attack.

This president has turned GITMO into a staging area for Jihad terrorists awaiting their next assignment from Osama bin Laden.

He has single-handedly changed USA from United States of America to United States of Apologies.

Our first African-American president, working in the post-racism era, has exacerbated racial tensions with truly "stupid" remarks about a white police officer simply doing his job.

All in all, Barack Obama has been the worst president in U.S. history, about which he knows next to nothing and respects not one whit.

Which begs this question: Why turn control over the most profound communications tool in human history to a man whose sole success to date has to slaughter a common house fly on national television? After a long and vicious struggle in which the damn fly nearly prevailed?

*http://news.cnet.com/the-iconoclast/?tag=rb_content;overviewHead

Diversity: The Forgotten Mandate in White House Hiring

2009-07-29T14:41:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

Diversity is the undisputed Holy Grail of the left especially in hiring practices. It trumps experience, talent, work skills, and all other objective measurements of qualifications, at least in the muddled minds of liberals.

Why, then, does President Obama continue to hire journalists only from the left side of the universe?

As reported at newsbusters.com, in part:

"Daren Briscoe, a Newsweek correspondent who was embedded with Barack Obama's 2008 presidential campaign, has taken a job with the Obama administration, according to an email sent to a lists of his classmates at the Columbia University's Graduate School of Journalism.

"The email, written by Time reporter and fellow Columbia grad Jay Newton-Small, said Briscoe would be serving as deputy associate director of public affairs for the Office of National Drug Control Policy as of Monday.

"Despite his multiple basketball games with our commander-in-chief, he always brought a skeptical eye to his work and in conversations about the candidate," Newton-Small wrote the email. "

By looking only to the left, President Obama is overlooking some very talented journalists whose perspective is more conservative.

A partial list of conservative luminaries includes:

Jonah Goldberg
Joseph Farah
Judi Mcleod
Rich Lowry
Pat Buchanan
Tony Blankley
Charles Krauthammer
Ann Coulter
Michelle Malkin

Adding any one of these professionals would provide Obama with some much needed fairness and balance in an administration dominated by left wing hillbillies like Robert Gibbs.

Hell, some of the younger conservatives (like Michelle Malkin) might even agree to shoot hoops with Obama and, regardless of the outcome, would be objectively to the right.

After all, Mr. President, "diversity is our greatest strength," is it not?

Can Obama's "Suds Diplomacy" Heal the Gates-Crowley Row?

2009-07-29T12:33:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

In handling the Professor Gates arrest crisis, President Barack Obama is showing that he is indeed the master of CHANGE, although not always for the good.

After shooting himself in the feet by labeling the Cambridge Police as "stupid" for actually enforcing the law, the president decided to extinguish the national firestorm that he ignited by applying a shot or so of his fabled diplomacy to the situation.

As reported, in part, at the Huffingtonpost, Obama has invited Professor Henry Gates and police sergeant James Crowley to meet at the White House for round one of "suds diplomacy," which may be the most potent tool in the president's racial healing bag:

"There are several reports that the beer diplomacy between President Obama, Cambridge police sergeant James Crowley and Henry Louis Gates Jr. will take place on Thursday.

"The Boston Globe reports: Charles Ogletree, one of Gates's lawyers, tells the Globe that the meeting will be on Thursday and that both Crowley and Gates can bring family members. The White House would not immediately confirm those details."

"When President Obama said last week that the whole incident involving Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Sgt. James Crowley of the Cambridge police department could be worked out over a beer at the White House, he wasn't speaking figuratively. CNN is reporting today that the White House has confirmed that the president is to meet with the two men this week to do just that.

"As Press Secretary Robert Gibbs explained on "Fox News Sunday," "the president believes this can be a teachable moment." And what better way to begin putting things in perspective in the dog days of summer than to serve a cold beer.

"As for drink orders, CNN says Obama will be having a Bud and Crowley a Blue Moon. No word yet on Gates' beverage of choice."

BREAKING NEWS: This reporter has learned that Professor Gates will order "sour grapes" as his drink of choice, a most appropriate selection given the professor's radical views.

Meanwhile, the White House has announced that President Obama has started work on a new book titled, "The Audacity of Booze: Inspired Teaching Methods for Post-Racial America," with release scheduled for November.

A steal at $75 a copy for registered Democrats, $3,240 for Republicans.

Sgt. Crowley is not being left out in the cold, either.

The arresting office is reportedly considering a multiple million-dollar offer to be the "tell all" writer of a scathing documentary, titled "How an Innocent Irish Cop Was Driven to Alcoholism by the US President," a 90-minute special scheduled for release as soon as an innocent Irish cop can be located for the lead!

Now, just who was it that said that Barack Obama is a naive, inexperienced community organizer?

Should Citizens Be Forced Into HMOs In order to Cover Illegal Aliens?

2009-07-22T11:22:00.001-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

Have liberals lost their collective minds? Perhaps the thrill of having unchecked power has made Democrats oblivious to common sense and reasonable thought?

Whatever the cause, most Democrats, including President Obama, seem intoxicated by their own press clippings and intent on pushing liberal insanity to the max.

For instance, the grotesque health care reform bill in the US House would force hundreds of millions of American citizens into inferior, HMO-type health care in order to cover tens of millions of illegal aliens.

Illegal aliens who have no right to even be in America, much less cared for at the expense of American citizens!

How in the hell can such idiotic thinking originate with any party other than the Communist Party of the United States (CPUS)?

Even more profound, why in the hell is the president of the United States supporting such reform at a time when the national economy is in free fall and the national deficit has exploded as a result of his reckless spending mistakes?

If President Obama and his leftist supporters really cared about American citizens, they would secure our borders and deport every last illegal alien.

To provide health care benefits to invading criminals would be utterly stupid, and would only invite another 20 million or so to invade and our nation.

Wake up President Obama and liberals everywhere: We don't need no stinkin' health care for illegal aliens!

Kick illegal aliens out and focus on protecting and meeting the needs of American citizens, or face deportation from elective office at the hands of American citizens!

Gay Exorcism: A Spiritual Approach to Sexuality

2009-06-25T17:25:00.000-07:00

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Regardless of which side you come down on the issue of homosexuality, it is undeniable that romances featuring Tom and Fred and Kathy and Sarah make things one hell of a lot more complicated.

Its "free will" gone mad, in my humble view.

From my right wing extremist mind set, why not leave things as they were when Adam and Eve fell in lust after a snake talked to Eve in the Garden of Eden?

Note that the whole concept of marriage and being manacled to one person for eternity originated with a damn snake who snookered a dizzy broad!

Things were so much less complicated back then. No need for Proposition 8 to define marriage, or a silly Defense of Marriage Act at the federal level.

Marriage was supposed to be between a dude and dudess, and everyone accepted that.

Historically, relations between the sexes started their descent to hell in a hand basket at precisely 139 AM, EST, on July 19, 1969.

At that very moment, a completely drunk Ted Kennedy left Mary Jo Kopechne to drown to death at the bottom of Poucha Pond, in what has come to be known as the Chappaquiddick Incident.

Since then, men have been ogling men and women have been flirting, and more, with other women.

Decent society ended right then and there when a rich and powerful man drowned a poor powerless woman and paid no penalty for said evil.

Starting at that moment, homosexuality has spread all across the planet, clearly a sign of the Higher Power's anger with Kennedy.

Until now, nothing could be done. Thus, about 10 percent of the population is destined to have sweaty palms and a racing heart when contemplating members of their own sex.

According to my religious learning, God was imposing the Kennedy Hex in a very random and arbitrary fashion.

Gayness is known as Hell on earth, except in San Francisco where hell is heaven, black is white, bad is good, and Nancy Pelosi continues to be sent to Washington to remind all Americans that hell does indeed exist!

Still, there is hope!

As reported at Breitbart.com, in part:

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D9916G6O0&show_article=1

"A Connecticut church has outraged gay rights advocates by posting a video of members performing an apparent exorcism of a teen's "homosexual demons."

"The 20-minute video was posted on YouTube before it was taken down.

"Gay youth advocate Robin McHaelen (mih-KAY'-lehn) says the video appears to show abuse. She says she plans to report it to the Connecticut Department of Children and Families. "

The burning question of the moment: Did the exorcism work? Is Tom no longer lusting for Fred, but now panting for Kathy? Is Kathy now enamored of Fred and so over Sarah?

Clearly, this entire subject needs to be investigated and documented. We need a human volunteer, someone who is intelligent, gay, and close to Connecticut.

Say, wait a minute. Nut ball Barney Frank is gay, and is close to Connecticut. Two out of three ain't bad!

What say you, Rep. Frank? What are you doing next Sunday evening?

Why not bring a pair of asphalt pajamas and a Bible to this church in Connecticut and let the good people here kick the ass of the devil within you?

Send your "inner devil," packing, as it were?

If this works on old Barney, the F-22 bomber could be saved and hundreds of billions in defense cuts avoided and America could be saved!

God Bless America, Barney Frank, and gay exorcism!

Janet Napolitano's "Passive Surveilance" for Swine Flu

2009-04-30T19:22:00.000-07:00

Homeland Security guru Janet Napolitano looks out the window of Airforce One for veterans, tax protestors, abortion and illegal alien opponents, and other "right wing extremists" in need of smiting by the government.

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Secretary Janet Napolitano has stressed that the swine flu crisis is being handled properly and with the full weight and authority of the United States government behind the effort.

She has repeatedly stressed that there is no need to restrict flights to and from Mexico, and that there is no need to close the borders.

In fact, it is the contention of the top dog at DHS that her "passive surveillance" is the most effective protection measure that can be implemented.

This reporter caught up with Napolitano as she was about to execute a "Passive Surveillance" stress test on a flight that had just landed at LAX from Mexico City.

As the 157 passengers deplaned at Gate 22A, America's feisty DHS girl started the process by selecting a few passengers for surveillance.

Most of the passengers were Hispanics in the 25-40-age bracket, several of which coughed incessantly while complaining of anemia and stomach cramps.

None of the Hispanics was waved aside for surveillance.

However, Napolitano personally selected 15 Caucasian males in the 55-80-age bracket for examination.

The "passive surveillance" questionnaire was read to each of the 15 white passengers who were placed under oath and advised that false responses could lead to prosecution for perjury.

Each passenger was asked five relevant questions

( ) Are you a veteran, conservative Republican, right-leaning independent, evangelical Christian, or member of any other subversive group commonly known in law as a "right-wing extremist?"

( ) Do you own a firearm, more than two Bibles, a surgical face mask, a broad band Internet connection, or any other weapon of mass destruction?

( ) Have you ever protested the tax policies of the Obama administration while under the influence of tea?

( ) Do you support closed borders, rigid enforcement of immigration laws, deportation of illegal aliens, English only, and other anti-Mexican torture?

( ) Have you ever refused sexual advances from another male based on religious, moral, or medical biases?

Any passenger who answered YES to one or more of the questions was confronted with a sixth question:

( ) Why do you hate President Obama and CHANGE?

Those who answered YES to three or more questions were immediately placed under arrest and returned to Mexico on the next flight.

Asked what her "passive surveillance" questions had to do with detecting the deadly the swine flu, Napolitano flashed a wicked smile and admitted, "Not a whole hell of a lot. But it does help weed out some of the far more dangerous right-wing extremist kooks!"

Which Will It Be? Your Righteous Indignation, Or Los Angeles?

2009-04-23T07:54:00.001-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

Jack Benny, late, great comedian from days gone by, was renowned for being a penny-pinching tightwad. In one of his more memorable gags, Benny was confronted by an armed robber who issued the challenge, "Your money or your life!"

In his inimitable style, Benny paused momentarily and replied, "Let me think about!"

As funny as that line is, it is no more nonsensical than the Obama administration's position on "harsh interrogation techniques."

Indeed, President Obama recently announced that he is "open" to prosecuting former Bush administration members who authorized CIA interrogators to use water boarding on terrorists, which would include an uncooperative Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (KSM), who masterminded the 9/11 attacks.

Obama may wish to rethink his "kinder, gentler" approach based on a report which indicates that harsh interrogation techniques yielded information that enabled law enforcement officials to thwart a planned terrorist attack on Los Angeles.

As reported, in part, at cnsnews.com:

http://www.cnsnews.com/public/content/article.aspx?RsrcID=47003

'Soon, you will know.'

"That is the ominous statement an uncooperative Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (KSM), mastermind of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, told his Central Intelligence Agency interrogators when they initially asked him, after he had been captured, about additional planned al-Qaida attacks on the United States.

"As CIA Acting General Counsel John A. Rizzo explained in a 2004 letter to then-Acting Assistant Attorney General Daniel. On Tuesday, the CIA confirmed that it stands by assertions credited to the agency in this 2005 memo that subjecting KSM to “enhanced techniques” of interrogation—including waterboarding—caused him to reveal information that allowed the U.S. government to stop a planned 9/11-style attack on Los Angeles.

"Before they were waterboarded, both KSM and Abu Zubaydah did not believe Americans had the will to stop al-Qaida, the 2005 Justice Department memo says, citing information from the CIA.

“Both KSM and Zubaydah had ‘expressed their belief that the general U.S. population was ‘weak,’ lacked resilience and would be unable to ‘do what was necessary’ to prevent the terrorists from succeeding in their goals,’” said the memo. “Indeed, before the CIA used enhanced techniques in its interrogation of KSM, KSM resisted giving any answers to questions about future attacks, simply noting, ‘Soon, you will know.’

"After he was waterboarded, KSM provided the CIA with information that allowed the U.S. government to close down a terror cell already “tasked” with flying a jet into a building in Los Angeles.

"According to the CIA, it produced cooperation in the mastermind of 9-11 and thus yielded information used to stop a 9-11 type attack on the West Coast.

"President Obama says he has prohibited the interrogation techniques described in the Justice Department memos he released. Next time the CIA catches a KSM, they must be kinder and gentler with him."

The saddest part of this story is that if the Obama administration had been in power when Khalid Sheikh Mohammed was being interrogated, Los Angeles might be the west coast version of Ground Zero.

How Do You Say "Commie Homophobes" in Spanish?

2009-02-23T19:58:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

Sean Penn used the occasion of the 81st Academy Awards to express his dislike for free speech and contempt for those who disagree with him on the issue same sex marriage.

In thanking the academy for the Oscar he received for his portrayal of Harvey Milk in the movie Milk, Penn addressed the assembled lefties as, "You commie, homo-loving sons of guns!"

A bit gruff and insensitive, perhaps, but, without question, it was the most honest sentence to flow from the lips of Sean Penn on this big night in Hollywood.

He went on to say:

"For those who saw the signs of hatred as our cars drove in tonight, think it is a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect, and anticipate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildren’s eyes if they continue that way of support. We’ve got to have equal rights for everyone.

I’m very proud to live in a country that is willing to elect an elegant man president. "

Penn's gooey eyed pride over that "elegant man" is particularly odd since President Obama is on record as being against gay marriage.

Mind you, Obama is OK with gay "unions" which is to be expected from a dedicated Marxist!

Penn has another problem involving lack of consistency and hypocrisy: While he is quick to slam Americans for opposing gay marriage, he ardently supports communist dictators like Fidel Castor and Hugo Chavez who not only oppose gays, but whose regimes have persecuted and murdered homosexuals, because of sexual orientation.

Perhaps Penn should explain his fondness for "Commie Homophobes" who speak Spanish?

Rethinking the Fairness Doctrine!

2009-02-21T07:56:00.001-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

Based upon a cursory review of the proposed resurrection of the Fairness Doctrine, the notion appears unfair at best, unconstitutional and un-American at worst.

Still, a real Fairness Doctrine could actually help if it included all television and radio broadcasts, print media, Hollywood films, and Internet sites, and further provided that:

*Mainstream media were required to employ the same number of conservative and liberal reporters, editors, and production staff;

*To counter films like W., Hollywood should produce films that highlight the frailties of a Democrat president, such as the sexual perversion that drove President Clinton to commit perjury;

*For every skit in which Tina Fey ridicules Governor Sarah Palin, SNL should run a skit exposing the hypocrisy and muddled thinking of Nancy Pelosi;

*MSNBC should run "Meltdown" to track lies and mistakes by the Obama administration, including a daily countdown of real jobs created by the trillion dollar stimulus, versus jobs lost since the Inauguration;

*For every column in which a liberal columnist confesses to sexual dreams involving President Obama, the New York Times should publish an Ann Coulter column about liberal bias in the media;

*PBS should follow the "Jim Lehrer News Hour" with a live segment of "The Savage Nation;"

*Following 60 Minutes, CBS should run an investigative expose co-hosted by Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity;

*ABC should hire Bay Buchanan and Phyllis Schlafly to replace two liberals on "The View";

*Spanish-language media should give equal voice to those who advocate secure borders, aggressive enforcement of immigration laws, and mass deportation of illegal aliens;

*Weather Channel should replace half of its global warming believing staff with skeptics who believe climate change is liberal pap, unsubstantiated by real science, and

*Oprah Winfrey should be required to interview Governor Sarah Palin and devote as much time to the conservative dynamo as was lavished on Barack Obama.

If administered fairly (not likely), the fairness doctrine could help dislodge the liberal bias pervasive in television and radio broadcasts, print media, films, and the Internet.

In which case, BRING IT ON!

Why Not "Test Drive" the Fairness Doctrine--At the Oscars?

2009-02-19T09:40:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

With liberal heavy weights like former President Bill Clinton and Shreeker of the House Nancy Pelosi clamoring for a return to the Fairness Doctrine, perhaps we who dwell on the right wing side of the universe should open our tiny minds, just a smidgen, to the concept?

After all, fairness is all about balance and the absence of bias, right?

That being the case, why not "test drive" this fairness notion during a major public event where narrow-minded and ill informed folk are known to congregate?

Why not impose a "Fairness Doctrine" on the Academy Awards show scheduled for this Sunday evening in Hollywood?

Just as an experiment to see how it works out, mind you.

With luminaries like Sean Penn, Brad Pitt, and Angelina Jolie in the running for Oscars, there are bound to be several liberal outbursts to 1) Thank goodness for the arrival of the New Age Messiah, Barack Obama, and or 2) Thank goodness for deliverance from former President George W. Bush, a man of low degree with a drink problem.

So when, say, Sean Penn dedicates his Oscar to the memory of Harvey Milk and pronounces the planet "saved" by the grace of BHO, once the wild applause and cheering subside, the stage and microphone would be turned over to Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood.

These stalwart conservatives would proceed to remind Hollywood and the world that, in just over 30 days in office, Barack Hussein Obama has:

*Escalated the war in Afghanistan with a "surge" of young Americans sent in harm's way;

*Signed, without reading, an 1,100 page bill that will drown future generations in red ink, but which includes funding for liberal programs that will do nothing to create jobs or stimulate the economy;

*Decided to close GITMO and reverse other anti-terrorist measures, thereby making America more vulnerable to terrorist attacks;

*Nominated tax cheats and others suspected of felonies to important cabinet posts;

*Promoted the official decline of America into the abyss of Marxism.

And the winner for the most egregious failure by the Obama administration after 30+ days is:

Osama bin Laden is still on the loose!

Kooky Cokie Lectures Conservatives About Being Irresponsible

2009-02-17T10:30:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

Kooky Cokie Roberts of ABC believes that conservatives who voted against the $1 trillion dollar stimulus outrage are irresponsible and deserve punishment.

As reported, in part, at Newsbusters:

"ABC's Cokie Roberts denounced as 'irresponsible' conservative opposition to the “stimulus” bill and suggested those who voted against it should be punished, declaring on Sunday's This Week: 'I just think that when you're in a situation like this, to do nothing is so irresponsible that you can't, you can't get away with it.'"

No doubt, Cokie is well intentioned and patriotic in her concerns.

However, Cokie's rage would more appropriate if directed at the Democrats and three Republicans who voted for the bill.

Did you realize, Cokie, that NONE of those who voted for the bill actually read its 1,100 pages? If sufficient time was not available to read the damned bill, the responsible thing would have been to vote NO!

As far as "doing nothing" is concerned, conservatives were blocked from doing anything by hard-core liberals like Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.

Looking for irresponsible? Consider the fact that Democrats took advantage of a national crisis in order to fund liberal projects that will encumber the American people, their children, and their grandchildren, with debt unrelated to job growth or economic stimulus.

Now that is irresponsible!

http://newsbusters.org/blogs/brent-baker/2009/02/16/roberts-resistance-stimulus-bill-irresponsible-stephanopoulos-pushes-ba

Obama's State of the Union: He Won, America Lost!

2009-02-08T20:10:00.001-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

Would someone please explain to President Obama that being president and commander-in-chief of the greatest nation on earth is NOT quite the same as midnight basketball or a game of HORSE? Or even PORK?

In basketball, one can push, shove and elbow the opposition out of the way in order to achieve one's objective. A dominant center needs to get along with just four teammates, but has no need to compromise or work with opponents.

By way of contrast, running the United States of America involves shared responsibility and authority with two co-equal branches of government. At stake are the lives and well being of 300 million Americans and billions of non-Americans all across the globe.

President Obama has put in nearly three weeks of harrowing incompetence, aggravated by insufferable arrogance. On at least two occasions, the novice president has reminded those who do not agree with him that "I won."

Well of course, you won, President Obama. Unlike many of your fellow Democrats who foolishly claimed that George W. Bush did not win in 2000, Republicans do not deny your electoral triumph.

However, the fact is that all 178 Republicans and 11 Democrats in the U.S. House voted against the stimulus bill. Each and every one was elected or reelected to Congress, and can rightfully claim "I won."

The same holds true for GOP members of the U.S. Senate who have voiced opposition to the recovery bill and whom are likely to vote against the measure on the floor of the Senate. Each and every one won an election to get where they are.

The presidency is not a metaphor for basketball, sir. You were elected to serve as president, not star center!

Blue Dogs With Conservative Values Fight Pelosi's Red Ink Fraud!

2009-02-04T07:18:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

Blue Dog Democrats, blessed with conservative values, are helping to coalesce opposition to Nancy Pelosi's fascist rule in the U.S. House and her spending orgy disguised as a "stimulus" for job growth.

As reported, in part, on FoxNews (Reference 1):

"Rep. Jim Cooper, a conservative Democrat from Tennessee, told a liberal radio network on Sunday that the Obama White House encouraged him to defy House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on the $819 billion economic stimulus bill.

"Well, I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I actually got some quiet encouragement from the Obama folks for what I’m doing," said Cooper, one of only 11 Democrats to vote against the economic stimulus plan that passed the House last week.

"They know its a messy bill and they wanted a clean bill," he said. "Now, I got in terrible trouble with our leadership because they don’t care what’s in the bill, they just want it to pass and they want it to be unanimous."

"Cooper, whose startling admission came on Liberadio, was one of about 55 House Democrats to sign a letter criticizing Pelosi for suspending debate and committee rules on the fiscal package, politico.com reported.

"They don’t mind the partisan fighting cause that's what they are used to. In fact, they're really good at it — and they’re a little bit worried about what a post-partisan future might look like," Cooper said during the radio interview. "If members actually had to read the bills and figure out whether they are any good or not. We’re just told how to vote. We’re treated like mushrooms most of the time."

"An early supporter of President Obama, Cooper is a member of the fiscally conservative Blue Dog Coalition of Democrats."

Speaker Pelosi needs to be defanged and be made irrelevant by people who really care about America.

You Go, Blue Dog Democrats!

Reference 1:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,487632,00.html

To Hell With Trillion Dollar Stimulus: Just Force Democrats to Pay Their Taxes!

2009-02-03T10:36:00.001-08:00

Satire by John w. Lillpop

As the Obama experiment continues to fall apart, one tax cheat at a time, the American people continue to wait patiently for answers to the worst economic crisis since the great Depression.

Meanwhile, Nancy Pelosi and other misguided leftists want to waste a trillion dollars on pet liberal projects that America does not need nor want.

In much the same way that liberals exploit children, so it is that they are using the wretched economy as a ploy for fighting STDs, fund abortions, and other nonsense not even remotely related to the creation of jobs.

However, the recent spate of failed Obama nominations has revealed a viable way to solve our economic mess without wasting taxpayer money: Simply force Democrats to pay their damn taxes!

Get it, Nancy? America don't need no stinkin' stimulus!

Rooting for Helen Thomas!

2009-02-02T16:25:00.000-08:00

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Helen Thomas of the White House press corps is a staple of American politics. She also sports a face and voice that only a mother could truly love.

Provided said mum happened to be both blind and deaf!

Ms. Thomas has been haunting presidential press conferences for nearly 50 years. Before that, she was Herman Munster on The Adams Family, a role for which she was uniquely qualified because she required no make up.
Even earlier, Thomas was the scare crow in the Wizard of Oz.

Solely because of Helen Thomas, the folks who run Washington, D.C., have been unable to outlaw paper bags, a green fad popular in most other liberal-infested metropolitan cities.

The CIA once planned to make flyers featuring Helen's mug shot with the following inscription in Arabic: "72 Virgins Like This Await You!"

The idea was to drop said flyers on Al-Quaeda training camps in Afghanistan, thereby ending Osama bin Laden's ability to mastermind a respectable Jihad, once and for all.

The plan was scrapped when Madeline Albright threatened to sue the CIA for equal time and her own anti-terror flyer series.

As the oldest living journalist to be on the payroll of both the DNC and UPI at the same time, Thomas sports decades of wear and tear played out on her haggard face.

During the Bush presidency, I perceived Helen Thomas to be arbitrary, petty, biased, combative, disrespectful, and irrelevant. She was clearly anti-Bush, anti-Republican and anti-conservative.

And as ugly as sin to boot!

However, now that the Obama administration is in charge, a major CHANGE seems to overtaken the crusty old journalist.

Mind you, she is still as ugly as the devil.

But her inane questions, now aimed at Robert Gibbs, new White House Press Secretary, seem more measured, more rational, and less offensive.

For the first time ever, I found myself secretly rooting for Thomas to ask the tough, dirty questions, and shouting "Do not pull any punches, Helen!" at the television screen.

Perhaps there is something to that CHANGE stuff after all?

Speaker Nancy Pelosi: "Dubya Left"?

2009-02-02T07:20:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

Regardless of whether one loves or hates former President George W. Bush, no one can deny the fact that Bush-43 often came across as ill informed, confused, and disengaged when speaking publicly.

W.'s lack of communication skills cost the GOP and America dearly when the president was unable to effectively articulate conservative values on issues like the war on terror, social security reform, and the proper role of FEMA in responding to Katrina.

The fact is that conservatives lost many battles in the war for public opinion even though they were right. W. and a very biased liberal media were both to blame.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi appears to be walking in W.'s steps when it comes to being inarticulate and a liability to her party.

For example, Nancy Pelosi's garbled and illogical defense of hundreds of billions of dollars in the economic stimulus plan for non-stimulating boondoggles has been a rallying point for those who care about this nation's fiscal future.

President Obama should be embarrassed by Pelosi's feeble attempt to make left handed pork sound like a solution for an economy that needs jobs.

Almost single-handed, Nancy Pelosi has made it clear that Democrats are willing to exploit the pain and suffering of the American people in order to fund liberal pet projects, which are unrelated to the creation of jobs or stimulation of anything except the pulses of special interest liberals seeking hand outs.

The major difference between President Bush and Pelosi is that the Speaker advocates positions which are completely wrong for America, and which need to be defeated by any means possible.

One can only hope that Pelosi's garbled presentation will do to the liberal agenda what W.'s did to conservatism!

Nancy Pelosi Discusses Family Planning and Jobs

2009-02-01T14:29:00.001-08:00

Satire By John W. Lillpop

This reporter recently caught up with Speaker Nancy Pelosi who graciously agreed to the following interview during which we discussed family planning, abortion, the birth of Octuplets in Southern California, and jobs.

The text of that interview follows:

John Lillpop:

Greetings, Speaker Pelosi. Congratulations on your reelection, greatly expanded majority in the U.S. House, and a liberal Democrat in the White House! Democrats have it all their way these days!

Speaker Pelosi:

Oh, thank you John! I cannot begin to tell you how relieved I am that George W. Bush has finally gotten out of town. I feel sorry for the state of Texas, but what can you do?

John Lillpop:

Speaker Pelosi, the House of Representatives passed an Economic Stimulus bill that will cost American taxpayers close to one trillion dollars. One of the more controversial items in the plan is $350 million dollars for family planning.

George Stephanopolis asked you what that expenditure has to do with creating jobs. Can you elaborate for my readers, and relate it to the birth of the Octuplets in California?

Speaker Pelosi:

Well, to begin with, if those children were born in October--you did say they were Octuplets, right?--I wonder why we are we just now hearing about them?

John Lillpop:

Actually, I believe that Octuplets means there were eight babies born to one woman at the same time, Speaker Pelosi.

Speaker Pelosi:

Eight? I thought someone said 14?

John Lillpop:

Well, the woman already had six at home and with the eight new born she now has 14.

Speaker Pelosi:

She already had six and wanted eight more? What the hell is she, some gap-toothed, Bible thumping, pro-life nut ball?

Where exactly in California is this scam artist from?

John Lillpop:

Let's see...OK, she is from Whittier. Southern California.

Speaker Pelosi:

I knew it, I knew it!

You realize that "Tricky Dick"," that sleazy Republican Quaker felon was from Whittier, right?

John Lillpop:

I am sorry, Madam Speaker. What does Richard Nixon have to do with the eight babies in a hospital in Whittier?

Speaker Pelosi:

The question everyone should be asking is, "Why have those eight right-wing babies been allowed to tie up hospital beds and medical services since October?"

We have tens of millions of illegal aliens from Mexico who need to be hospitalized for all sorts of ailments, most caused by drinking the putrid water down there, or by drinking way too much beer here.

Yet, here we have this English-speaking, self-centered, pro-life conservative who hogs medical facilities desperately needed for the poor and destitute.

It's so sad!

John Lillpop:

I am still not following you, Speaker Pelosi. What do the Octuplets have to do with stimulating the economy and creating jobs?

Speaker Pelosi:

It is as plain as the mole on Obama's face, John.

George Bush trashed the American economy by making the rich even richer. He left progressive Democrats to deal with the most serious downturn since the Great Depression.

Simply put, now is not the time for single mothers to be having Octuplets.

In order to turn the failed Bush economy around, we need a few hundred billion dollars to bail out innocent young ladies who get knocked up before Obama has had time to lead us into the promised land.

Under my plan, that young woman in Whittier would have been forced to go to Planned Parenthood for counseling the moment she realized she was pregnant.

What do you think Planned Parenthood would have counseled? Here you have a single mom already responsible for six rug rats with another eight itching to pop out.

It is really a non-brainer, even for a conservative.

You have to snuff at least six, perhaps seven, of the fetuses and try to keep the mother out of heat for at least the next 10 years.

John Lillpop:

But wouldn't that be state-sponsored murder?

Speaker Pelosi:

Murder? Hell no!

Murder is when you send 5,000 American kids to their deaths in Iraq because your dyslexic alcoholic president is having the DTs and sees weapons of mass destruction that simply do not exist.

THAT is murder!

John Lillpop:

I understand your point, Speaker. The latest news is that the mother in Whittier is bankrupt, or her family is, and she is seeking millions in bail out money from the stimulus funds. How do you feel about that?

Speaker Pelosi:

This is exactly why we are in such trouble in America. That woman needs to take personal responsibility for herself and her offspring.

Supporting 14 bastard kids from a right-wing slut is not the job of the government because it has nothing to do with jobs. Why is that so hard for conservatives to understand?

stjl

For Some Obama Cabinet Picks, Greed Trumps Patriotism

2009-02-01T06:49:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

In American politics, higher taxes have become synonymous with the Democrat party, which makes perfect sense since liberals instinctively favor taxes, higher taxes, and more taxes.

To the stereotypical Democrat, higher taxes are always the solution, regardless of how great or complex the problem.

For example, during the presidential campaign last September 18, VP candidate Joe Biden actually claimed that paying higher taxes was the patriotic thing to do.

"We want to take money and put it back in the pocket of middle-class people," Biden said in an interview on ABC's "Good Morning America."

Given that mind set, why does the Obama Administration continue to dredge up tax cheats as nominees for important cabinet posts?

First it was Tim Geithner, Obama's choice to serve as Treasury Secretary, who had the burden of explaining how fudging on his own taxes should not disqualify him from running the Internal Revenue Service, the Gestapo agency charged with prosecuting and punishing tax cheats all across America.

Send a thief to catch a thief?

Next, we have Tom Daschle, whom the people of South Dakota decided they could do without; thus, voters sent the former Senate Majority Leader into retirement in 2004.

Not good enough for the people of South Dakota, Daschle was nonetheless good enough to be Obama's nominee as Secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS), a position that would place health care for the entire nation in the hands of the failed former senator.

Unfortunately for the inexperienced president and his HHS nominee, the tax donkey struck again! As it turns out, Daschle received a free car and chauffeur service, which he used for years without declaring said gifts as income.

Send a non-doctor cheat to fix a health care system corrupted by greedy doctors?

The big question: Just why have Messrs. Geithner and Daschle ignored Joe Biden's clarion call to do the "patriotic thing" by paying higher taxes?

Could it be that, at least for some Democrats, greed trumps patriotism?

Use Economic Stimulus to Bail out American Citizens with Jobs!

2009-01-29T09:57:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

In exchange for being allowed to saddle American citizens with budget deficits of nearly $1 trillion dollars a year for as far as the eye can see, President Obama has promised to create nearly four million jobs.

However, a major question that the president and his party must immediately answer is:

Will the four million jobs, funded by American taxpayers, be awarded exclusively to American citizens, or will illegal aliens be allowed to steal even more public services to which they are not entitled?

With the ranks of the unemployed swelling precipitously, the notion that "Illegal aliens are needed to do work Americans will not do" is becoming less and less believable, and more and more offensive with each jobless report issued by the Labor Department.

As reported, in part, by Yahoo News, "The number of people receiving unemployment benefits has reached an all-time record, the government said Thursday, as layoffs spread throughout the economy."

President Obama has promised to put millions of Americans to work on the nation's infra-structure, i.e., crumbling bridges, schools, roads, public transportation and the like.

Infrastructure work means manual labor, jobs that greedy corporate executives often fill with illegal aliens in order to save money on salaries and benefits.

However, at a time when America is flirting with an economic meltdown of historic proportions, profit before patriotism is downright repugnant and un-American!

American Citizens Only! must be the mindset driving President Obama and Congress when it comes to doling out scores of billions of taxpayer money in plum contracts to private enterprises.

In this instance, the liberal obsession with regulating business can actually be useful if it leads to appropriate oversight on behalf of American citizens.

President Obama must veto legislation that fails to specifically state that all jobs created as a result of the economic stimulus shall be filled by American citizens, and only American citizens!

More Suited for Elective Office: Rush or Oprah?

2009-01-27T09:44:00.001-08:00

Satire by John W. Lillpop

How is it that talk show hosts are mentioned so prominently in political news these days?

The latest kerfuffel originated with President Obama who, despite the ugliest economy in 80 years, two foreign wars, each longer than World War 11, and an unmanageable glut of domestic messes left by former President George W. Bush, found time and the audacity to lecture Republicans about their radio listening habits.

Two immediate questions come to mind:

1. Has Obama EVER listened to El Rushbo? If so, how recently and what, if anything, did BHO learn?

2. Why would the most liberal president in history suppose that conservatives would give a tinker's dam about his views on El Rushbo?

Think about it: How would BHO react if a leading Republican senator demanded that the president, " Stop listening to Oprah!"

Would such a plea persuade BHO to watch C-Span instead of America's weight loss/gain guru every afternoon?

Adding to the insanity is the revelation by Illinois Governor Blagojevich that he actually considering appointing Oprah Winfrey to the U.S. Senate seat vacated by Obama's successful purchase of the White House.

Two intriguing questions spin out from Blago's disclosure:

1. Is the governor laying the groundwork for an insanity plea?

2. Did Oprah lose the Senate seat because hers was a "low-ball" offer?

As for El Rushbo, the man is clearly best suited for high office.

Among his superior attributes are his grit and determination in taking off and keeping off unsightly fat, something that Oprah has never managed.

His other major advantage involves integrity and character: Limbaugh is not from Chicago and has no history of being a mobster, a moniker that automatically applies to anyone who has dabbled in Illinois politics.

Besides, Limbaugh owns a huge polling advantage: There are one hell of a lot more ditto heads than welfare queens out there!

While BHO Offers Olive Branch, Iran Nears "Critical Mass"

2009-01-27T08:15:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

President Obama continued his "remaking of America" project by granting his first interview as United States President to the Al-Arabiya news channel.

Among other things, Barack Hussein Obama said the following (partially excerpted from Reference 1):

'Americans are not your enemy.'

Obama's curt message was immediately interpreted to mean that George W. Bush and all who ever voted for him, or who served in his corrupt administration, are NOT Americans.

More excerpts from Reference 1, in part:

"The president expressed an intention to engage the Middle East immediately and his new envoy to the region, former Sen. George J. Mitchell, was expected to arrived in Egypt on Tuesday for a visit that will also take him to Israel, the West Bank, Jordan, Turkey and Saudi Arabia.

"What I told him (George Mitchell) is start by listening, because all too often the United States starts by dictating," Obama told the interviewer."

Roughly translated, that means "God Damn America!" according to those familiar with Holy sermons delivered from the pulpit by Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Obama's spiritual adviser for 20 years until the reverend was run over by a campaign bus driver with the initials BHO stenciled on his uniform.

Showcasing his impeccable timing and political acumen, President Obama's anti-American blurb on Al-Arabiya TV came at about the same time as the world was being told that Iran will have enough enriched uranium to make a nuclear weapon.

As reported in Reference 2, in part:

"Iran will have enough enriched uranium to make a single nuclear weapon later this year, the prestigious International Institute for Strategic Studies (IISS) predicts.

"This points to Tehran's continued development of long-range ballistic missiles able to reach targets in Israel and beyond."

Roughly translated, that means "The chickens are coming home to roost" and the United States is completely to blame!

May Allah keep and bless the warped community organizer who is waging Jihad against America and her people from the Oval Office!

Reference 1:

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20090127/D95VFH581.html

Reference 2

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Nuclear-Weapon-From-Iran-Within-A-Year-Expert-Says-Country-Will-Have-Enough-Uranium-For-Warhead/Article/200901415211260

Nancy Pelosi: Use Condoms to Stimulate the Economy!

2009-01-26T09:34:00.000-08:00

Satire by John W. Lillpop

According to Speaker Nancy Pelosi, U.S. taxpayers need to spend several hundred million dollars on birth control in order to help stimulate the depressed economy.

As reported, in part, on the Drudge Report, Reference 1:

"Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi boldly defended a move to add birth control funding to the new economic "stimulus" package, claiming "contraception will reduce costs to the states and to the federal government."

"Pelosi, the mother of 5 children and 6 grandchildren, who once said, "Nothing in my life will ever, ever compare to being a mom," seemed to imply babies are somehow a burden on the treasury.

The revelation came during an exchange Sunday morning on ABC's THIS WEEK.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Hundreds of millions of dollars to expand family planning services. How is that stimulus?

PELOSI: Well, the family planning services reduce cost. They reduce cost. The states are in terrible fiscal budget crises now and part of what we do for children's health, education and some of those elements are to help the states meet their financial needs. One of those - one of the initiatives you mentioned, the contraception, will reduce costs to the states and to the federal government. "

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Pelosi's unique thoughts for dealing with the economic crisis may spawn a whole new era of progressive and not-so-progressive economic solutions such as:

War is hell, but it works!

America recovered from the Great Depression, not because of President Roosevelt's "new deal" of socialism and big government, but because of his behind the scenes finageling that dragged America into World War 11.

Bullets, tanks, war ships, fighter planes, and shipping hundreds of thousands of young men and women over seas saved America in the 1940s and the same strategy can do so again.

President Obama needs to reinstate the draft and start two or three wars as soon as possible!

Guns Kill--and That is Good for the Economy!

One of the greatest obstacles to free market growth and economic expansion is the anti-gun thinking of left wing nut balls like Nancy Pelosi.

After all, increased gun sales mean more shooting deaths and a bigger bang for the stimulus buck.

Eliminate all federal, state, and local controls on gun sales and ownership and watch the economy go Boom!

Drunk Driving--Your Patriotic Duty!

Drunk driving resulting in fatal crashes can be a real win-win for the American economy, especially when the drunk driver wipes out himself and several innocent, non-tax paying leeches in one horrific mess.

Intellectuals like Nancy Pelosi should encourage widespread drunk driving by running catchy national slogans like this:

"Drunk Driving causes fatal car crashes which stimulate the economy. Do your part by drinking and driving as much as possible, especially in crowded residential areas!"

Addition by Subtraction: The Case for Abortion!

With the economy in turmoil, unemployment sky high, and home foreclosures out pacing new home construction and sales, responsible progressives need to promote abortion as an alternative to bankruptcy.

In this scenario, Nancy Pelosi should deliver a personal message to American women facing pregnancy and bankruptcy at the same time. A spot featuring the bug-eyed grandma would work wonders with the following monologue:

"Hello, I am Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the United States House of Representatives.

"I know that many pregnant women are worried about how they will support a new baby without a job and with credit cards maxed out.

"Relax. We Democrats are here to help you make it through these tough economic times.

"Democrats are compassionate people who care about the average Josephine and her financial issues. Which is why I am pleased to announce that the economic stimulus bill includes an abortion bail out that may solve all of your problems.

"For pregnant Catholic girls, rest assured that the Catholic Fathers have never really decided when life begins, so this is not a matter that will in any way impact your right to Holy Communion or your good standing in the Church.

"Best of all, federal abortion funding is now available!

--------------------------------------------------------------

There you go, a simple but effective set of actions that the government can take to shake of this hideous economic downturn!

Reference 1:

http://drudgereport.com/flashpbc.htm

Mega Ditto Heads, President Obama!

2009-01-24T08:37:00.000-08:00

Satire by John W. Lillpop

In yet another bold move in a week of unprecedented executive action by an inexperienced community organizer in the White House, President Barack Obama abandoned several "old school" concerns harbored by the Bush administration in order to properly address more urgent threats.

Specifically, President Obama announced that his administration has managed to isolate Osama bin Laden to a few "hot spots" where terrorists are known to congregate, thereby taking the bin Laden crisis off the president's Urgent Action calendar.

When pressed for details, the president referred the press to CIA Director Leon Pinetta who explained that the "hot spots" include Baghdad's "green zone," Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Egypt, Somalia, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, and other Muslim states known to be sympathetic to the CEO of global Islamofascism.

Pinetta also indicated that sleeper cell neighborhoods in Detroit and South Chicago might be "of interest" in locating OBL, although further action would be dependent on convincing BHO to supersede his first Executive Order which dismantled W.'s unconstitutional, illegal, immoral, and secretive domestic wiretapping apparatus.

On a more cheery note, Pinetta declared that reports which allege that Osama bin Laden works as a fund raiser for CAIR in downtown Washington, D.C., at 1700 Pennsylvania Avenue, are "completely false and not worthy of further action or comment by the CIA or other federal law enforcement agency."

With Osama-mania effectively muted, President Obama rolled up his sleeves and tackled some of the more critical issues on the day.

Namely, BHO took on Rush Limbaugh, Republicans who listen to El Rushbo, and unborn fetuses, those incorrigible rascals waiting to pop out and destroy the environment, the global economy, and the world's food and water supplies.

As a result, Limbaugh, Republican listeners, and the unborn got a taste of presidential wrath of the type normally seen when a nasty boil shows up on the president's bum, or when a lingering hang over, brought on by not having enough balls to say no to at least some of the balls spinning out of control in the wee morning hours, continues to haunt America's main man several days later.

As reported by the New York Post and repeated below, in part:

"President Obama warned Republicans on Capitol Hill today that they need to quit listening to radio king Rush Limbaugh if they want to get along with Democrats and the new administration.

"You can't just listen to Rush Limbaugh and get things done," he told top GOP leaders, whom he had invited to the White House to discuss his nearly $1 trillion stimulus package."

With all due respect to the new president, getting "things done" is not in the best interests of America when the "things" are harmful to homeland security, national defense, the economy, and traditional family values.

Perhaps President Obama should stop listening to out of touch people like Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and other clue less liberals?

Instead, Mr. president, why not try to catch Rush's show which is on from 12-3 PM every day? Who knows, you might benefit from diversity of opinion and, with a little effort, might become the most famous "ditto head" in all of America!

President Obama also flashed a bit of competitive arrogance which indicates that he is probably better suited to arranging midnight basketball tournaments than serving as America's commander-in-chief.

From the New York Post, this additional information, in part:

"In an exchange with Rep. Eric Cantor (R-Va.) about the (stimulus) proposal, the president shot back: "I won," according to aides briefed on the meeting. "I will trump you on that."

"We are experiencing an unprecedented economic crisis that has to be dealt with and dealt with rapidly," Obama said during the meeting."

So, according to President Obama, in the event of an "unprecedented crisis" as defined by a Democrat president, the system of checks and balances built into our form of government is null and void?

Powers granted to the legislative and judicial branches of government under the Constitution are unilaterally trumped by the president when he has decided that he "won"?

Clearly, President Obama needs a crash course in Civics 101. Like three hours a day, from 12-3 PM, Eastern Time, for example.

All one needs, Mr. President, is an open mind and a reliable radio on which to listen to the man "with talent of loan from God, on a mission to educate and irritate liberals!"

Mega dittos, Mr. President!

Portland Mayor Sam Adams and His Beau

2009-01-23T03:47:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

Big news coming from Portland, Oregon involving Sam Adams, newly installed mayor of this "progressive" hub.

After denying rumors of a sexual relationship with a teenage male intern, the openly gay mayor was forced into admitting that he did, in fact, do that which he has denied for more than a year.

The mayor's former beau is a gent named Beau Breedlove, an almost perfect name given the sordid circumstances.

So what motivated Mayor Adams to suddenly open up and fall on his sword?

Adams was in Washington, D.C. for the deification of the New Age Messiah on January 20, so perhaps the openness, integrity, and honesty shown by Barack Obama shamed the mayor into coming clean?

Then again, perhaps there is a more base answer.

Turns out that the Willamette Week newspaper was preparing to publish evidence of the relationship between Adams and his Beau, from the summer of 2005.

The big question: Did Willamette Week confront Adams with evidence that Beau Breedlove was a 17 year old minor at the time of the affair?

That might explain why Mayor Adams suddenly lapsed into brutal honesty by admitting that the affair did take place, while insisting that he and Beau did not breed love until after the young man's 18th birthday in June of that steamy summer.

From the Associated Press, this report, quoted in total, as published in the Seattle Post-Intelligence, reference 1.

Please read carefully as there will be a quiz at the end:

"PORTLAND -- A contrite Mayor Sam Adams apologized to Portland for lying about a sexual relationship with a male teenager he was mentoring, but asked the city to consider it an anomaly in two decades of public service.

"I screwed up. I blew it. There's no way to sugarcoat it," Adams said during a news conference at City Hall Tuesday.

Adams coasted to victory in the 2008 election, making Portland the largest U.S. city to elect an openly gay mayor. He was sworn in Jan. 1.

The 45-year-old said he has no plans to resign, but left open the possibility: "If it were no longer in the city's best interests that I stay, yes, I would resign."

Rumors of a relationship between Adams and the teen, Beau Breedlove, surfaced in 2007, when the city commissioner was getting ready to run for mayor. The rumor was that Adams had sex with a 17-year-old.

The pair denied the rumor, but Adams, with the Willamette Week newspaper preparing to publish evidence of the relationship, admitted Monday that the two were together in the summer of 2005.

Breedlove turned 18 in June of that year, and Adams said the relationship did not begin until after the birthday.

"In fact, Beau encouraged me to be honest about the facts of our relationship," Adams said. "I am deeply sorry that I asked him to lie for me."

Commissioner Randy Leonard, who defended him when the rumor surfaced in 2007, has now called for an investigation. Leonard's chief of staff, Ty Kovatch, voiced concern about Adams' decision to ask Breedlove to lie.

"It reveals a much more strategic and planned effort to mislead people," Kovatch said.

Leonard said he believes Adams can continue as mayor -- unless "further omissions and discrepancies" emerge.

Adams said he would cooperate in any investigation.

He stressed the issue is about a public official lying, not sexual orientation, and he would work to regain the public's trust.

"I will be subject to greater scrutiny because of this, and that is appropriate," he said.

"My reputation has been impacted. Friendships have been impacted, and that's appropriate as well."

Jeana Frazzini, director of Basic Rights Oregon, the state's largest gay rights organization, said she sensed disappointment within the gay community, but said the long-range impact is hard to predict.

"Our main concern is that we hope gay politicians who come after Sam don't turn out to be failures because of individuals who came before," Frazzini said.

Though Adams says the relationship with Breedlove was legal, he added that it was inappropriate because of the age gap. He said Breedlove, a legislative intern, wanted to meet with him to get advice about public service.

Adams said he wanted a chance to apologize to Breedlove's parents.

"I'm the one who should be held accountable," he said. "I was the older adult."

The rumor of an Adams-Breedlove relationship came three years after it was revealed that former Oregon Gov. Neil Goldschmidt had sex with an underage girl in the 1970s, when he was Portland mayor. Goldschmidt left public life amid the scandal.

Adams said he lied because he didn't think people would believe that the relationship began after Breedlove's 18th birthday. He said there's a stereotype that gays seek out underage children.

"That's a very inflammatory thing to throw out there," he said. "It's very difficult to prove a negative."

The quiz question: What political party is Sam Adams affiliated with?

Reference 1

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/396869_mayorsex21.html

Greater Torture: Being Water Boarded or Forced to Watch Media Coverage of Inaugural?

2009-01-21T10:12:00.000-08:00

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Although I was (thankfully) able to avoid most of the Obamania celebrations broadcast by the liberal media on January 20, there were circumstances beyond my control that left me vulnerable a few times throughout the dreary day.

For instance, when nature called, I rushed to the rest room only to discover that jumbo-sized plasma television screens were mounted everywhere. Tragically, all were tuned to CNN, CBS, or NBC.

Dreary and depressing stuff, that.

Because of too much coffee and a weak bladder, nature called early and often, exposing me to a form of torture that no conservative should have to endure.

Given the choice between being water boarded or forced to watch Katie Couric, Brian Williams, and the gang at CNN deify Barack Obama, my only question would be: My water or yours?

In the interest of providing children with a fair and balanced view of America's bold new era, the following pop quiz has been gleaned from liberal talking points seen on January 20, 2009:

1. President Obama is:

( ) More important than Jesus Christ and God
( ) The embodiment of the cumulative spirituality, intelligence, integrity, kindness, wisdom, honesty, goodness, and love found in the Twelve disciples and all of the Roman Catholic Popes
( ) Infallible and Holy
( ) All of the above

2. Joe Biden:

( ) Is Vice President AND Secretary of State
( ) Works as comedian AND court jester for the White House
( ) Wrote the 1929 Fireside Chat in which President Roosevelt calmed America's fears about the depression
( ) Operated the TV camera during that 1929 Chat which was beamed throughout America in digital HDTV and surround sound

3. Obama's election proves that:

( ) Any inexperienced and unqualified black kid with $750 million dollars, ACORN voter fraud connections, and a gaggle of worshipping liberal "journalists" on his side can grow up to be president
( ) Black racism combined with liberal guilt can overcome America's obsession with Democracy and vote integrity
( ) The ability to deliver "thrills running up and down" the legs of dim wit liberals is more important than logic and common sense
( ) The premature death of communism has been greatly exaggerated

4. President Obama's Inaugural Address:

( ) Is more sacred than the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and Bill of Rights combined
( ) Deserves to be added to the Holy Bible as "The Gospel According to Obama"
( ) Is the most important 18 minutes of breaking news from Washington, D.C. since Richard Nixon's secretary "accidentally" erased Tricky Dick's Watergate confession in 1972
( ) Should be re-broadcast before each NBA basketball game, replacing that tired, old school National Anthem
( ) Should be the subject of an Oliver Stone flick titled, "The Audacity of Hype!"

5. As a result of Obama's message, millions will:

( ) Replace "Ask What You Can Do For Your Country" with, "What can big government can do for me?" gibberish
( ) Join the US of A communist party
( ) Cancel private health insurance plans in anticipation of Universal Socialized Medicine
( ) Stop making mortgage payments to greedy, corrupt lenders
( ) Join ACORN's "Reelect Obama 2012" campaign

6. John Roberts' flub during the Oath of Office was:

( ) Blatant racism intended to confuse a person of color
( ) A sinister plot by Republicans to invalidate the Obama presidency since the Birth Certificate fiasco flopped
( ) A feeble, last ditch effort to make eight years of language abuse by George Bush seem more presidential
( ) A high-tech lynching of a black dude

7. January 20, 2009 will be remembered as:

( ) Obamamas--a new inclusive holiday to replace December 25, a non-inclusive pagan holiday celebrated by confused Christians to commemorate the birth of a Jew
( ) The day that that stagnant, old Bush on the White House grounds was pruned back and shipped to Texas
( ) The day on which being a citizen of the world became more important than being a citizen of the United States
( ) The date on which being helpless and reliant on others replaced self-reliance and success as American virtues.

In keeping with liberal dogma, there is no "failing", or other self-esteem-bashing element to this quiz. You finished the quiz, which is good enough for Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Karl Marx.

Best of all, there is no longer a need to be hard working, competent, resourceful, goal oriented, driven, prudent, austere, patriotic, cautious, or diligent.

From now on, all of your needs will be taken care of by the federal government and Democrat politicians, like it or not!

Welcome to the Obama Nation!

Palestinian Children Used as Weapons of Media Distortion

2009-01-07T08:41:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

If there is indeed a place called Hell, there must be a particularly uninhabitable section reserved exclusively for evil sub-humans who use innocent children as fodder for war.

Like some Palestinians, for example.

While the world gasps in collective horror at images of mangled young Palestinian bodies doused in blood as a result of missiles fired by the Israel military, many forget that Palestinians are directly responsible for the blood shed and carnage.

Launching attacks against Israel from Mosques occupied by children and other civilians is pure evil. Attempting to blame Israel for subsequently hitting such sites in self-defense is both evil and stupid.

A recent Israeli attack on a rocket-launching site unintentionally cost three Palestinian children their lives. Allowing the children to "play" in and around the launching site is unimaginable in a society that has at least a minimal regard for human life.

Unimaginable evil also causes Palestinians to raise their children to be suicide bombers.

How many times have we seen a Palestinian parent wail with pride when an offspring has blown his or her self into smithereens just to kill Jews?

How can a parent with such a blatant disregard for his or her own flesh and blood make a convincing argument against Israel?

For Palestinians who really give a damn about human life, there is a simple solution:

* Stop assaulting Israel with rockets;

* Stop hiding behind children and religious buildings to wage war;

* Stop raising your children to hate and kill Jews; and

* Accept the fact that Israel is a valid entity and will not be obliterated or driven into the sea.

Of course, none of these ideas will resonant with heathen who simply do not give a damn about human life and who, in fact, worship death.

Obama's Non-intelligent Choice for CIA

2009-01-05T20:38:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

By nominating Leon Panetta to head the CIA, President-elect Barack Obama has confirmed fears that he, and Democrats in general, are not capable of applying sufficient priority to the war on terror and national security because they simply do not understand the gravity involved.

Obama's appointment even caught Senator Diane Feinstein off guard and riled the California Democrat who complained, "I was not informed about the selection of Leon Panetta to be the CIA director," Feinstein said. "My position has consistently been that I believe the agency is best served by having an intelligence professional in charge at this time."

Nearly everyone on both sides of the aisle agree that Panetta is a capable manager and amicable fellow who can work well with both Democrats and Republicans.

Nonetheless, Panetta's absolute lack of experience in the intelligence profession can be a comfort only to terrorists and evil doers intent on doing America harm.

Coming on the heels of the spill over from the Rod Blagojevich scandal, the botched Richardson nomination, and the stalled economic stimulus package, the President-elect
seems to be begging the question: "Is Barack Obama really ready for Prime Time?"

What, for example, would happen if, God forbid, another terrorist attack should happen on American soil while Panetta is CIA Director? What possible defense would the president have for placing a an individual without professional intelligence experience in such an important position?

More naive picks like Leon Panetta will most likely bring the new president considerable grief and expose the American people to unacceptable danger.

Why Is Bernie Madoff Not In Jail?

2009-01-05T18:54:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

A cliché commonly used when discussing justice in America is,"You do the crime, you must do the time."

Fair enough. However, why is that standard of justice nearly non-existent when it comes to a despicable swindler like Bernie Madoff?

Madoff is the American businessman and former chairman of the NASDAQ stock exchange who was arrested on December 11, 2008 and charged with engineering the largest investor fraud ever committed by a single individual in world financial history.

Madoff created an elaborate "Ponzi Scheme" in which he swindled well-schooled bankers, Wall Street investors, charities, and individuals out of $50 billion dollars.

That number $50 billion is hard for most people to comprehend. Think of it in familiar terms: George W. Bush sent $17 billion of your money to bail out automakers in December.

Bernie Madoff swindled three times that amount from professionals and others that should have known better.

Despite the enormity of his crimes and the harm inflicted on countless numbers of innocent people, Madoff is a free man, after posting a $10 million bond.

While the U.S. Congress and prosecutors sort out the greatest hoax in history, the mastermind of deceit continues to enjoy a life of luxury and opulence made possible by that very hoax.

Madoff's successful run of felonies has put enormous pressure on the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), the government agency created in 1934 to regulate the stock market and prevent corporate abuses relating to the offering and corporate reporting.

For a complete history of the SEC, refer to reference (1).

The burning question running through the halls of Congress and minds of jilted investors is: Why did the SEC fail to catch this bottom-feeding crook? How in the hell did one man manage to steal $50 billion from some of the most sophisticated and tough-minded money people in the world in the heavy regulated environment of financial investments?

Has Bernie Madoff ever been investigated by the SEC?

In fact, the SEC did investigate Madoff at least eight times since 1992 as reported by the Associated Press, Reference 2.

From the linked reference this summary in part:

"The many fruitless probes into Bernie Madoff:

Starting in 1992, federal regulators on many occasions examined various aspects of Bernard Madoff's business operations, but they never turned up the alleged $50 billion Ponzi scheme that led to Madoff's arrest last month. The history of regulatory failure in the Madoff scandal:

1992

Securities and Exchange Commission

Madoff's name comes up in a probe of Florida accountants who allegedly sold unregistered securities.

1999

SEC examiners review trading practices at Madoff's investment advisory firm.

2001

The SEC's Boston office receives information from securities industry executive Harry Markopolos raising questions about the steady stock market returns of Madoff's firm.

2004

The SEC looks into whether Madoff's firm engaged in improper trading practices.

2005

The SEC interviews Madoff and members of his family, finding no improper trading practices.

2005

An industry-based regulatory office finds no improper trading practices by Madoff's firm.

2005

SEC investigators meet with Markopolos, who alleges that Madoff's firm is "the world's largest Ponzi scheme."

2006

An SEC enforcement investigation finds that Madoff and one of his clients misled regulators. As a result, Madoff agrees to register as an investment adviser.

2007

The Financial Industry Regulatory Authority examines Madoff's firm. No regulatory action results."

Eight alleged investigations and a $50 billion Ponzi scheme goes undetected? Who in the hell were the SEC "investigators"? Big Bird and the Cookie Monster from Sesame Street?

Amazingly enough, Harry Markopolos, while working at a rival firm, wrote in 1999 that Madoff was running a Ponzi scheme. Markopolos now looks like a certifiable genius, a fact that is of little comfort to those whom Madoff robbed, or SEC commissioners and employees who are left looking like complete fools, or worse.

The bottom line seems to be that, as of now, no single explanation makes sense in the bizarre Bernie Madoff crime spree.

Allan Sloan, senior editor at CNN Money Fortune (Reference 3) filed this report, in part:

"CNN Money Fortune

"NEW YORK (Fortune) -- Yes, there really are times when life imitates art. A case in point: the Bernie Madoff scandal, in which the disgraced investor bears a startling resemblance to Zero Mostel's sleazy theater promoter in one of my favorite flicks, "The Producers."

"What do the real-life Madoff and Mostel's fictional Max Bialystock have in common? They used the same principles to pull off a big-time financial fraud. These are: If you're going to steal, steal big. If you're going to cook the books, make up numbers of your own - don't try to doctor the real ones. And, finally, if you're going to fleece people, turn down enough potential investors so that those whose money you take feel so honored that they don't do basic homework to find out about you.

"No, I'm not making light of what Madoff did, which has ruined the lives of people who went to sleep feeling rich and woke up poor, and which has devastated worthy charities. I'm just trying to show you how the world works, and why we see the same things, year after year, decade after decade, with frauds like Madoff and the Bayou hedge funds and other less famous sleazoids.

"How could the Securities and Exchange Commission, which admits it had gotten tips about Madoff for years, bring some penny-ante insider-trading claim against Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban while failing to see that Madoff was ripping off billions from the likes of Elie Wiesel's foundation?

"Not to prejudge the SEC's investigation of itself, but I'll bet the answer will turn out to be that things have always been this way and probably always will be. If commission enforcers get a bigger budget and are treated with respect rather than being dissed (including, I'll bet, by some of Madoff's victims) as an obstacle to free markets, things may improve. But don't expect a fraud-free era to ensue.

"I'm saying this not out of cynicism but because I know how regulators generally work. I've seen it for years, in fields ranging from department stores to oil-drilling partnerships. You're likely to get caught if you run a few inches outside the baseline, because regulators are set up to catch that. But run so far out that you're playing on a whole different ball field? You can get away with that if you're enough of a financiopath, and your luck holds.

"Take the mutual fund "market timing" scandal kicked over by Eliot Spitzer back when he was New York's respected attorney general rather than its disgraced "love guv." As you may recall, many foreign-stock mutual funds - which, like all mutual funds, are regulated up the wazoo by the SEC - were allowing hedge funds to do quick trades that ripped off the funds' long-term investors by diverting profits from them to the hedgies. (This really should have been called "skimming," but that's another story.)

"Spitzer's folks got tipped to this game by an informant - but it turned out there had been plenty of hints, such as hedge funds telling clients about their "timing" activities. The reason the SEC didn't find this during its routine audits was that it wasn't looking for it. Who'd have thought that funds would be so stupid as to risk their most valuable asset - their reputation - for the relative crumbs the hedge funds threw them?

"No one picked up on our fictional friend Max Bialystock because he made up a fraud from whole cloth - he sold investors 25,000% of a ghastly, tasteless musical, "Springtime for Hitler," that was designed to fail and let him keep the money, but became a huge hit. Like Madoff, Bialystock didn't have enough money to pay off investors who wanted their dough.

"Both scamsters also generated an aura of exclusivity by not taking money from just anyone. "It's due diligence by crowd, and it doesn't work," says Jim Mintz, whose Mintz Group specializes in background checks.

"There's a big move on for the SEC to regulate hedge funds. It's a worthy idea. But trust me. If a big fund is engaged in a big fraud, the SEC's unlikely to find it without an outside tip. Or maybe even with one. That's how things worked with Madoff. And how they work in the real world. And how they'll probably always work. "

Which brings up an interesting point about deposed New York Governor Eliot Spitzer: Was the powerful Democrat spending too much time and money on ladies of the night at the Emperor's Club to catch Bernie Madoff?

A video on Finance Yahoo (Reference 4), provides even more information on the Bernie Madoff story and is worth viewing.

References:

(1) History of SEC http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._Securities_and_Exchange_Commission

(2)

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iIXcRJuIjbkGKM5GT0txn4-1CJowD95H7FI80

(3)
http://money.cnn.com/2009/01/05/magazines/fortune/sloan_madoff.fortune/?postversion=2009010506

(4)
http://finance.yahoo.com/tech-ticker/article/152910/SEC-Investigated-(And-Fooled-by)-Madoff-Eight-Times?tickers=^dji,^gspc,dia,spy,qqqq

Sovereignty Day in Iraq: Worthy of BREAKING NEWS?

2009-01-01T10:51:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

January 1, 2009 is indeed a memorable day in the history of Iraq and for the people of that nation.

So memorable and important, in fact, that Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki has proposed that each January 1 be officially celebrated as "Sovereignty Day," in addition to the traditional New Year's holiday.

In case you missed it, responsibility for a major portion of Iraq's security has been officially handed over to the Iraqi government. That includes Baghdad's "Green Zone" as described in the referenced excerpt(1).

Quite predictably, sovereignty day in Iraq did not rise to the level of BREAKING NEWS! in the minds of left wing American media, those "objective" souls obsessed with chronicling every movement, or hint of movement, by a Marxist President-elect dawdling in the warm sands of Honolulu's beaches!

However, the turnover did mean a great deal to Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki who said:

“It is our right to consider this day the day of sovereignty and the beginning of the process of retrieving every inch of our nation’s soil," Nuri al-Maliki said in a ceremony.

For those who care, Iraq has regained control of it's own airspace and is scheduled to hold provisional and national elections in January and December, respectively.

As reported in the excerpt from reference (2):

"Iraqis have a double opportunity to make their new found voices heard at the ballot box this year.

"Provincial Elections are due to take place on 31 January. And, according to the Iraqi Constitution, national elections will need to be held by December 2009 as well.

"After years of living under tyranny, unable to influence or hold to account the former regime, Iraqis are keen to once more practice their new democratic rights.

"Local and national elections were last held in 2005.

"The path of democracy and political maturity since 2003 hasn’t always been smooth. But it is taking shape."

So, why has the good news from Iraq escaped BREAKING NEWS status in American media?

For starters, Iraq is breaking news ONLY when young American men and women are being wasted in record numers, or when the American military is alleged to have reenacted the Holocaust by nuking innocent Iraqi citizens in place of starving Jews.

American deaths in Iraq have all but vanished, leaving the New York Times and other bastions of liberal propaganda completely depressed and disinterested!

Then there is this distressingly inconvenient truth: The "surge" crafted by General David Patreaus and commander-in-chief George W. Bush actually WORKED!

By the by, that would be the same surge that our Messiah in Waiting voted against!

Finally, ANY good news linked to the name George W. Bush is automatically relegated to page 1,120, or buried somewhere in the obituaries, presented in size two font, if you please, headline in lower case.

Still, congratulations are in order to the people of Iraq who can now look forward to the future without worrying about being tortured, maimed, or slaughtered by the "butcher of Baghdad," the late, not-so-great Saddam Hussein.

Only liberal nut balls like attorney Ramsey Clark, the man whose failed legal defense of Saddam Hussein should make him eligible for a Nobel Peace prize, believe that the world is not better off, and safer, with the despicable dictator permanently confined to a six-foot deep hole in Takrit.

Finally, although "Sovereignty Day" does have a nice ring to it, a more jubilant spirit might be fostered with a more colorful designation.

How about, "Purple People" Day?

HAPPY PURPLE PEOPLE DAY!

References:

(1)

http://blog.wired.com/defense/2009/01/sovereignty-day.html

(2)

http://www.fco.gov.uk/en/fco-in-action/uk-in-iraq/iraq-case-studies/iraq-elections09/

It is NOT About a Jolly Old Man in Red, Crowded Malls, & Maxed Out Credit Cards

2008-12-21T11:07:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

Progressives who continue to work for the total secularization of Christmas fail to accept the true meaning of the most cherished religious holiday in western culture.

Christmas is celebrated to herald the birth of Jesus Christ and the subsequent spread of the Gospel, which has gifted all of humanity with a new morality, the concept of individual freedom, and the belief that human equality is a gift from God.

America's Declaration of Independence confirms that truth with the words, " As we are endowed by our Creator with inalienable rights."

Dinesh D’Souza, author of, What’s So Great About Christianity, delivered a powerful speech titled, Created Equal How Christianity Shaped the West, September 16, 2008, at a Hillsdale College National Leadership Seminar in Colorado Springs.

In his speech, D’Souza states that, "Christianity is largely responsible for many of the principles and institutions that even secular people relish--chief among them equality and liberty."

For a scholarly reflection on the real meaning of Christmas, read the D'Souza speech at the link below.+

And Merry Christmas!

+Reference Link

http://www.hillsdale.edu/news/imprimis/archive/issue.asp?year=2008&month=11

Rod Blagojevich Dumps Lump of Coal in Obama's Stocking

2008-12-19T16:59:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

Illinois politicians, and especially President-elect Obama, were hoping that embattled Governor Rod Blagojevich would go quietly into the night, taking his countless "F" bombs and wiretapped "pay to play" call list with him.

Just a week ago, it seemed highly likely that Blagojevich would spend Christmas strapped to a guerney in a psychiatric ward, in jail, or at home with his family after abruptly yielding to heavy demands that he resign.

Those hopes were dashed when the Illinois Supreme Court refused to unplug this foul-mouthed bag of unruly hair, and the impeachment process stalled somewhat in the Illinois legislature.

That left Team Obama clinging to the faint hope that Blagojevich would act with the overall best interests of the people of Illinois in mind, rather than giving in to his own selfish self-interests. They were praying that Blagojevich would play the R card--resign--and quickly.

Instead of just going away, however, the raunchy Democrat declared himself innocent of wrong doing and vowed to "fight, fight, fight!" until his last breath, which could not come any too soon for Team Obama and embarrassed Democrats everywhere.

As reported at CBS2chicago.com, Blagojevich held a press conference on which in which he gladly assumed the role of abused child and helpless victim when he said: (1)

"I'm here to tell you right off the bat that I am not guilty of any criminal wrongdoing, that I intend to stay on the job, and I will fight this thing every step of the way. I will fight, I will fight, I will fight until I take my last breath," Blagojevich said. "I have done nothing wrong."

That is unwelcome news for Obama because it means that the Deification of Barack Obama, scheduled to last from December 20 to January 20, is going to have to share BREAKING NEWS headlines with Blago-gate for the foreseeable future.

Instead of answering questions about the economy, Obama is going to be pressed for more information about Rahm Emanuel and his contacts with Blagojevich about filling Obama's vacated Senate seat.

Rather than explaining how he intends to bring socialized medicine to America, Obama will spend his time trying to convince a skeptical media that he barely knew Blagojevich, and would be unable to correctly identify the governor in a police line up.

All in all, Blagojevich has left a huge lump of smoldering coal in Obama's Christmas stocking while giving Republicans a minor cause to celebrate.

Reference: (1)

http://cbs2chicago.com/governor/blagojevich.media.address.2.891120.html

"Buyers Remorse" Haunts Obama

2008-12-19T07:12:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

Barack Obama's position on same-sex marriage is, and has always been, crystal clear: He believes that marriage should be limited to one man and woman.

That has been his public position from the start of the presidential campaign.

Why, then, did gays vote so overwhelmingly for the man whose position is the antithesis of their own?

How odd that gay activists are surprised and even angered that the president to be has chosen Pastor Rick Warren to deliver the invocation at the inauguration.

After all, Obama believes that marriage should be limited to one man and one woman, a position also held by Pastor Rick Warren.

A question for the gay community: Surely you knew that Barack Obama was opposed to same-sex marriage before you pulled the lever and voted for him!

What justifies anger when the man you voted for selects a pastor whom shares, at least partially, his own views on same-sex marriage?

Besides, Pastor Warren's role is limited to delivering the opening prayer. It is not as though he will have a cabinet level position to advise Obama on same-sex marriage policy.

Warren's "role" is to simply open the inauguration with a prayer, and get off the podium as quickly as possible.

Gay activists need to accept the fact that many people, including the President-elect, do not agree with them that gay marriage is on a par with the civil rights struggle experienced by African-Americans.

They also need to understand that while their issues are important, gay marriage is not the single most important issue facing this nation and the majority of Americans.

How odd that those who shrill the loudest for tolerance seem the least tolerant.

He Whose Name We Dare Not Speak at X-MAS

2008-12-14T12:55:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

Back in the good old days, the first inkling of the "Christmas Spirit” usually found its way into in one's conscious awareness on or around Thanksgiving.

Back then, having the Christmas Spirit meant that one was spiritually ready to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, openly and without fear of offending anyone.

Back then, the birth of Jesus Christ was celebrated in parks, schools, churches, police stations, fire houses, court houses, shopping centers, gasoline stations, post offices, banks, airports, train stations, newspapers, magazines, television shows, restaurants, movie theaters, libraries, radio broadcasts, work places, homes, sports stadiums, and other public and private venues.

Back then, innocent pups that we were, it never occurred to anyone in his or her right mind that the act of publicly celebrating Christmas might be a violation of the U.S. Constitution.

Back then, we unknowingly engaged in vicious acts of religious hated by going door-to-door to sing Christmas carols for shut-ins and complete strangers.

Back then, religious insensitivity drove overly zealous fundamentalists to display Christmas trees, exchange Christmas gifts, and shout Merry Christmas! without giving proper thought to the possibility that such happy thoughts could offend those with religious backgrounds different from the vast majority of Americans.

How about Happy Holidays, or Merry X-MAS, back then? Not on your bloody pagan life!

Just when did America's traditional observance of Christmas fall into the clutches of godless progressive wonks?

Namely, when did:

*Public Nativity scenes become violations of non-existent mandates in the U.S. Constitution for the separation of church and state?

*Christmas trees become symbols of religious intolerance?

*Christmas carols become more offensive than profanity-laced, women hating rap?

*Halloween, a holiday for celebrating death, usurp Christmas, a holiday for rejoicing in the promise of eternal life?

In summary, when did pandering to the demands of the minority become more important than preserving the traditions and culture of the overwhelming majority?

For some time now, liberals have been working through the ACLU, activist judges, and the biased mainstream media to remove Jesus Christ as the focal point of Christmas.

To liberals, Jesus is, “He Whose Name We Dare Not Speak.”

However, people of faith can defeat the anti-Christian liberal agenda attempt by remembering the real meaning of the holiday, and by letting our hearts be blessed with the Good News of the gospels.

Accordingly, from the House of Lillpop, MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Smatterings of a Republican Renaissance?

2008-12-07T10:20:00.001-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

Republicans took a real thumping on November 4, which inspired left wing pundits and Democrats to dance with glee on the grave of the Grand Old Party. Republicanism as we knew it was dead, kaput, done, according to those who wish it were so.

However, on the way to the morgue for embalming, the remains of the GOP showed signs of life from the states of Georgia, Louisiana, and Minnesota.

In Georgia, incumbent Saxby Chambliss trounced his Democrat opponent in a runoff, a victory that put to death Harry Reid's silly fantasy about a super-majority in the U.S. Senate.

In Minnesota, incumbent Republican Norm Coleman appeared to stretch his lead over the Democrat Al Franken as the recount process ended. Now state officials have to deal with thousands of "contested" ballots. At this point, it looks as though Republicans may hold on to another seat in the U.S. Senate, despite the blue tsunami that America experienced on November 4.

Big news, too, from the great state of Louisiana where, at last, voters have acted responsibly by sending indicted Democratic U.S. Rep. William Jefferson to the unemployment line. The fact that this man was still able to be mount a competitive campaign is nothing short of blasphemy against the democratic process.

Even more distressing: The fact that Rep. Jefferson has been able to serve in the U.S. House even after being indicted proves that Speaker Pelosi's "Culture of Corruption" applies only to Republican white males. Corrupt Democrats, especially people of color named Rangel and Jefferson, are not included in Pelosi's judgmental juggernaut.

From the source linked below ***, this report of another GOP win in Louisiana: "In the 2nd Congressional District, which includes most of New Orleans, Republican attorney Anh "Joseph" Cao won 50 percent of the vote to Jefferson's 47 percent and will become the first Vietnamese-American in Congress. His only previous political experience was an unsuccessful 2007 bid for a seat in the state legislature. "

All of which means that since Barack Obama was elected as America's first illegal alien president, Republicans have won all subsequent challenges, with the exception of Alaska's Ted Stevens whose conviction just before the election did not help.

Has the Republican renaissance started in earnest?

One can certainly hope so.

***

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20081207/D94TPC680.html

From Riches to Rags in 10 Months: Plaxico Burress & Wall Street

2008-12-03T02:17:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

2008 has been a year of spectacular ups and down for Plaxico Burress, a professional football star. His journey from riches to rags is amazingly similar to that experienced by professionals who play with other people's money in the game of life on Wall Street.

The personal high for Plaxico Burress came at Super Bowl XLII on February 3, 2008. That game between the New York Giants and New England Patriots was the most-watched Super Bowl of all time, with an average of 148.3 million total viewers throughout the world watching some part of the game

It was also the second most-watched TV program of all time in the United States.

Plaxico Burress made headlines when he caught the winning touchdown pass in the end zone with just 35 seconds remaining to give the New York Giants a thrilling upset victory, 17-14.

The New York Giants were the improbable champions of Super Bowl XLII and Burress was a hero.

On the last business day before the Super Bowl and Burress' magnificent catch, the Dow Jones Industrial average closed at 13, 265.

The next big event for Plaxico Burress came on April 30, 2008 when he and the World Champion New York Giants were hosted at the White House by President George W. Bush in honor of their stupendous victory in Super Bowl XLII.

Plaxico Burress's unbelievable high of February 3 began to unravel in May when the star decided that he was being underpaid with his $3.25 salary for 2008.

Difficulties continued to hound Burress in September and October when he was suspended for violation of team rules and fined $45,000 by the National Football League.

It all came crashing down with great finality on November 28 when Burress shot himself in the right thigh while relaxing in a New York City nightclub. His injury was not life threatening and he was released from the hospital on November 29.

On Monday, December 1, Burress turned himself in to New York police to face charges of criminal possession of a handgun.

His cause was not helped by New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg who demanded that Burress be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Burress had an expired license for the firearm from Florida, but no New York license. Unlawful carrying of a handgun carries a minimum three and a half-year jail sentence.

Mayor Bloomberg must have simply forgotten the catch that Burress made in February to bring the Super Bowl championship to New York City.

On December 2, Burress posted bail of $100,000.

Later in the day, he was suspended by the New York Giants for conduct detrimental to the team, which means that Burress will not be paid for the remainder of the season.

In just ten short months, Burress managed to go from Super Bowl hero to the ranks of the unemployed while facing a felony charge for damn near blowing his own leg off with a hand gun.

For Plaxico Burress, the worse may be yet to come: His foolish gunplay could cost him 3.5 years in prison.

Meanwhile, the Down Jones Industrial Average on Wall Street has plunged from 13,265 on February 1, the Friday before Super Bowl XLII, to 8,419 at the close of business on December 2.

Pity that while Plaxico Burress faces a possible prison sentence for foolish behavior resulting in great harm to himself, the characters on Wall Street, whose foolishness has harmed millions of innocent Americans, continue to be beneficiaries of a government gone barking mad with bail out fever.

Why Is Barack Obama Dissing Bill Richardson?

2008-11-27T11:28:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

When the Barack Obama-Hillary Clinton wars were at their greatest ferocity last spring, New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson took a calculated risk and endorsed Obama.

Richardson's endorsement rankled plenty of Clintonistas because of his prior service in the Clinton administration, and alleged close personal ties to both Bill and Hillary Clinton.

At the time, Richardson stated his belief that Obama represented the best chance for the Democrat Party to regain control of the White House.

That explanation served only to further enrage the Clintons and ignite a fume that still burns non-stop.

Turns out that Richardson's hunch was right. Barack Obama, with an assist from George W. Bush and Henry Paulson, was an easy winner on November 4.

That would seem to place Richardson in an excellent position to cherry pick a prestigious gig in the new administration, right?

Like Secretary of State or other highly coveted cabinet position.

Instead, Obama appears ready to plop Richardson into the Commerce Secretary's office, a decent position for sure, but nothing compared to Secretary of State.

Even more distressing for Richardson, Obama has decided to invite Hillary Rodham Clinton to his cabinet, as-- Secretary of State!

How's that for playing fair and rewarding one's supporters?

Last July, remember, Hillary Clinton was warning that Obama was an inexperienced junior senator with no real accomplishments to his credit. She even warned that the young man might fall victim to assassination, a not-too-subtle reminder of the fact that the Clintons will do damn near anything to win.

Even after all of that, Obama picks Hillary Clinton over Bill Richardson for Secretary of State?

What is going on here?

Is the CHANGE fanatic discriminating against a plump brown male just to pamper to an over the hill, over 60, white feminist?

Why?

Is "Black Friday" Racist?

2008-11-26T14:41:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

Last July, Dallas County commissioners discussing traffic ticket collections were jolted when Commissioner Kenneth Mayfield, who is white, used the term "back hole" to describe the recurring problem of lost paperwork.

Mayfield's statement was immediately challenged by Commissioner John Wiley Price, who is black. Price belted out a loud "Excuse me!" and proceeded to upbraid Mayfield by saying that the problem of lost paperwork was the unwelcome byproduct of a "white hole."

That caused Judge Thomas Jones, who is black, to demand an apology from Mayfield for his racially insensitive analogy.***

This dust up provided a keen insight to the precarious state of race relations in America and the obvious need for change.

Which is why Barack Obama, although the least qualified for the presidency of all candidates in decades, may bring healing to America in the area of race relations.

Until Obama takes over in January, Americans will have to wing it, I suppose.

What to do, then, about the day after Thanksgiving? This Friday, famous for being the start of the Christmas shopping season,is known far and wide as "black Friday."

Is that a racist term?

What of black sheep, black clouds, black box, black humor, black Monday, black magic, and black helicopters?

Indian summers, Mexican stand-offs, and white washes?

All to be stricken from the vocabulary of those who practice PC speech for fear of being of being regarded as racist?

I say to heck with it all.

Let the whiners and weasels debate the issue all they want. Just don't get in my way when I have that $300 lap top in my sights on Black Friday, mate!

***

http://www.narbosa.com/2008/07/in-dallas-black-hole-racist.html

Nothing to be Thankful For?

2008-11-26T07:09:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

Woe unto me! All is lost, there is nothing to be thankful for this year!

Is that the lament falling from your own cranberry blasted lips this holiday?

Listen up, buster and bustess! There is plenty to be thankful for, if you are willing to look hard enough.

My attitude of gratitude includes joy for the following:

1. In less than 60 days, George W. Bush will be powerless, out of the White House, and relegated to the streets of Crawford.

2. W's legacy of endless wars, open borders, economic depression, and Barack Obama is most unlikely to be replicated during the lifetime of anyone now breathing.

3. Hillary Rodham Clinton is not president.

4. The most extreme "change" coming from Barack Obama so far is his change of mind concerning change!

5. This reporter has not lost a personal fortune during the meltdown. How can one lose something one has never had?

6. Mexicans here illegally are returning home for food, shelter, education, and health care.

7. Unable to accommodate the flow of Mexican illegal aliens from America, the Mexican government is near collapse, proving the old adage that "What goes around, comes around!"

8. Once considered a luxury, gasoline can now be bought for under $2 a gallon. Terrific for those who still have jobs to drive to.

9. America is free from national elections until 2010.

10. Henry Paulson has no twin and is incapable of reproducing.

See? Just by opening one's mind to the presence of positive Karma, there is plenty to be thankful for.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Michael Jackson a Muslim? Who Would Have Thunk?

2008-11-25T10:58:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

Ladies and gentlemen, the King of Pop: Mikaeel Jackson!

Mikaeel? What is this, a cruel, sick joke?

Not really. You see the irrepressible Jackson converted to the Muslim faith and took on the new moniker in a private ceremony in Los Angeles recently.

What on earth could have motivated this one time devoted member of Jehovah's Witness to switch?

For one thing, Jehovah's believe that only 144,000 faithful will make it to heaven. Mikaeel is not dumb, so he realizes that all those late night rumblings with five and six year old boys at his ranch might disqualify him from being among the 144,000 most holy since Adam and Eve took up residency in that lovely garden.

For another thing, the king was piqued at fellow Witness and musical star Prince for slamming gays and gay marriage.

Which is not to be interpreted as saying anything about Mikaeel's own sexuality--but honestly, now, how many 45 year old single men invite young boys to sleep overnight?

Get real, dude!

Finally, the 50-year-old with the bleached face was facing allegations of failing to repay nearly $15 million to Arab Sheikh Abdulla Al-Kalifa.

What better way to co-opt a Jihadist than by becoming one yourself?

Hell's bells, for $15 million, I would gladly change my name to Johkaeel Al-Poplill, bow eastward five times a day, read the Koran once a week, and take on three or four wives!

So, I can readily understand what motivated Mikaeel.

What I cannot fathom is why Islam would accept such an odd little weasel into their fold?

Stocks Surge! Obama-nomics at Work?

2008-11-25T08:33:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

At the close of business on November 20, the Dow Jones Industrial Average (DJIA) stood at 7,552 after another dreary session.

At 11 AM on November 25, the DJIA was 8,505. In just three trading sessions, Wall Street has rallied for over 1,000 points!

What produced this remarkable turn around and does this mean that the depression is over?

Several factors seem to have converged over the past several days to give Wall Street traders a reason to buy back into the market:***

*Obama's Epiphany on Taxes

Obama has all but declared his plans to tax the rich as dead, at least for the foreseeable future. Wall Street does not like higher taxes. (Other than liberals, who does?)

*Economic Team Announced

In announcing that Timothy Geithner will be his Treasury Secretary and that well-respected Larry Summers will also be on his economic team, Obama sent a signal to Wall Street that he intends to put the best minds possible to work on the economy, despite ideological burps. Larry Summers' innocent comments about women while at Harvard and the petty reaction by feminists were ignored in order to apply Summers' skills and expertise to the task at hand.

*More Bail Out Fever

The Sunday night massacre of U.S. taxpayers by the Bush administration continued as Henry Paulson and his cohorts threw an additional $20 billion at Citigroup. That bail out/massacre caused Wall Street to rally on Monday as one of their own was saved at the expense of the unwashed masses (taxpayers).

*Plans for Credit Cards, Auto Loans, Student Loans

Uncle Sam announced that he is working on a program to aid companies that issue credit cards and make auto and student loans. More good news for Wall Street although the average taxpayer will probably get soaked once again.

The bottom line: No tax increases, good people on Obama's economic team, and more government bailouts have driven the market to a 1,000-point gain in three sessions.

Will the trend last and continue? We will find out sooner rather than later!

***Source:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3683270/

Don't Ask, Don't Tell Under Obama?

2008-11-21T09:40:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

President-elect Barack Obama has produced yet another dramatic "first" for the history books: He is the first African-American president to weasel on a campaign promise before even being sworn in!

At issue is the long-standing Pentagon ban on open homosexuals in the military. During the presidential campaign, Obama promised to reverse the "explosive" policy if elected.

Another item for the CHANGE WE NEED category, or so it seemed.

Now that Obama has been elected and is in a position to actually implement change, certain of those campaign promises are being reviewed carefully and subjected to CHANGE themselves!

With respect to "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," advisors to the President-elect have indicated that CHANGE, whatever it's final form, will not be advanced for months and perhaps not until 2010, according to the Washington Times story linked below.*

Although repealing the ban is still on the CHANGE agenda, "Mr. Obama first wants to confer with the Joint Chiefs of Staff and his new political appointees at the Pentagon to reach a consensus and then present legislation to Congress."

Consult with the Joint Chiefs of Staff? What the Hades do those military fanatics know about discrimination and civil rights, from a gay perspective?

What if the Joint Chiefs of Staff tell the new commander-in-chief, in no uncertain terms, that trashing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is an awful idea?

Then what?

Chalk it up to inexperience and promise to do better in 2012?

*WASHINGTONTIMES

Tyranny of the Majority, or Anarchy of the Minority?

2008-11-12T11:02:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

In 2000, 4,618,673 Californians voted for Prop. 22, which defined marriage as being exclusive to couples, comprised of one man and one woman.

In May of 2008, the California Supreme Court, in a 4-3 decision, declared Proposition 22 invalid and paved the way for same-sex marriage.

In effect, then, one Supreme Court justice (net) was able to trash the will of 4,618,673 people in order to benefit a small minority.

On November 4, 2008, 5,977,457 Californians voted for Prop. 8, which again defined marriage as a one man, one-woman arrangement in the state Constitution.

To date, then, 10,596, 130 Californians have voted in free and democratic elections to preserve marriage as it has been traditionally observed in most civilized societies for hundreds of centuries.

However, the will of the people is apparently meaningless to politicians like Governor Swarzanneger who said the following, in part, about Proposition 8, "We will undo that, if the court is willing to do that, and then move forward." **

The governor was joined by Democratic members of the California state assembly in demanding that the Supreme Court invalidate Proposition 8, again deliberately sabotaging the will of the people

Which begs the obvious question: Why even hold elections to begin with if the votes will be discarded if power elitists disagree with the results?

Many opponents of Prop 8 cite the fact that opposition to same-sex marriage is based on religious views and beliefs.

So what?

Why should the state be empowered, through the courts or politicians, to render traditional religious values unimportant or irrelevant? Or morally wrong?

Why should one's belief in God and the Holy Bible make that person's vote less vital to the democratic process?

Where in the hell is the much-heralded separation of church and state in these matters?

What about the right of the faithful to live their lives in accordance with the values and traditions common to their heritage and culture?

Clearly, when it comes to gay marriage, the most dangerous threat to freedom and liberty comes not from the tyranny of the majority, but rather from the well-financed, politically connected, and minuscule minority that does not give a damn about democracy and the will of the people.

Source: **

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=80688

Enamored with Change, Senate Democrats Turn to Youth

2008-11-11T12:34:00.000-08:00

Satire By John W. Lillpop

In keeping with the spirit of change that has overwhelmed Washington, D.C. since Tuesday last, Democrats in the U.S. Senate have started the process of pruning out old prunes to make room for fresh blood and new ideas.

Majority Leader Harry Reid launched the first wave of "Youthenaza" by announcing that 91-year old Robert C. Byrd (D-West Virginia) has resigned his chairmanship of the Senate Appropriations Committee, effective with the swearing in of the 111th Congress in January.

In a daring move to empower youth irrespective of the inherent risks, Reid also announced that Daniel Inouye (D-Hawaii) would replace Byrd as Chair of Appropriations.

At 84, Inouye can expected to advocate with ferocity on issues that matter most to America's youth, such as Social Security, Medicare, expanded prescription drug coverage, and government paid day care for grandparents.

The move has other advantages: Senator Byrd has been in Congress for 56 years, whereas newcomer Senator Inouye has barely had enough time to learn the whereabouts of the Senate bathroom during his 45 years in town.

Now that is change with a capital C!

In resigning his post, Senator Byrd waxed religious by saying, "To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.”

“Those Biblical words from Ecclesiastes 3:1 express my feelings about this particular time in my life," Byrd said.

In his younger days, Byrd (KKK) was not quite so temperate.

For instance, when Byrd was 28 years old, he wrote about the 1945 racial integration of the military to segregationist Mississippi Senator Theodore Bilbo:

"I shall never fight in the armed forces with a Negro by my side... Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds."

Spoken like a true Democrat, Senator!

By the way, Senator Byrd, the fact that America has just elected a "Negro" to the presidency has nothing whatsoever to do with your resignation, correct?

Osama Bin Laden Working on Another 9/11: Is Barack Hussein Obama Even Listening?

2008-11-10T19:40:00.000-08:00

By John W. Lillpop

According to an Arab Newspaper in London,
Osama bin Laden is planning an attack against the United States that will "outdo by far" September 11. **

So, what exactly is America's President-elect planning in the way of a deterrence?

To begin with, the Obama administration will move to shut down Guantanamo Bay as soon as possible.

Should things work out as the new president has planned, terrorists from Guantanamo should be released just in time to join Al-Quaeda in new terrorist attacks within the United States.

Of course American intelligence will no longer know for certain what Al-Quaeda is up to, because under Obama U.S. intelligence agencies will be prohibited from eavesdropping on telephone conversations between potential terrorists and their counterparts in America.

In addition, the Democrats will surely work to gut the Patriot Act to make sure that America is completely vulnerable to terrorism.

Finally, Barney Frank and the Obama administration will work diligently to cut defense spending by at least 25 percent in order to fund programs needed to educate, house, and provide medical care for illegal aliens from Mexico.

If Osama bin Laden had even a lick of good sense, he would call off any attack until the Obama administration and the Democrat Congress have been in office for a couple of months.

With Obama and the Democrats in power, America can be expected to self-destruct in short order, obviating the need for any additional terrorist attacks.

Is Barack Obama even listening?

** Source:

http://www.theage.com.au/world/warning-of-new-bin-laden-attack-20081109-5kxu.html

Come Caucus With the "Big Tent" Party, Joe!

2008-11-07T14:20:00.000-08:00

By John Kakistos Lillpop

With a truly righteous wind at his back, Senator Joe Lieberman (C-I) is reportedly in negotiations with Republican leaders about caucusing with the GOP.

Should that come to pass, Lieberman will have made the remarkable transition from being the vice presidential nominee of the anti-war party in 2000, to being an enlightened caucus affiliate of the only party committed to winning the war on terror.

Lieberman's pending spiritual and intellectual rebirth comes after being quashed like an unwelcome rodent by Majority Leader Harry Reid, still fuming about Lieberman's audacity in endorsing John McCain for president.

That, and the fact that Lieberman was exactly right about Iraq while Reid was foolishly calling the war "lost," even as young men and women were being sent into harm's way as part of the surge that eventually proved successful.

"How dare Lieberman think independently?" Reid must be asking himself.

"Is he unaware of the fact realize that the Democrat party is the party of 'diversity,' and, as such, we will not tolerate snotty Jews who threaten party unity?"

Senator Lieberman, you are on the right side of this debate.

Should you ultimately elect to caucus with the Republicans, rest assured that, in just two short years, your affiliation should make you a part of the Senate majority once again!

Welcome back to America!

Why Blame Mormons for Prop. 8? What About Obama, NAACP, La Raza?

2008-11-07T06:20:00.000-08:00

By John Kakistos Lillpop

According to the Los Angeles Times, thousands of angry protesters gathered outside a Mormon Temple in Los Angeles to vent their rage over passage of Proposition 8.

Surprisingly, there were no reports of similar protests at the offices of Barack Obama, the NAACP, or La Raza.

Why?

After all, Obama has said that he opposes gay marriage. Yes, he spoke out against Prop. 8 with the politically correct excuse that it "was unnecessary."

However, those parsed, weasel words do not change a vital fact that gay activists refuse to face:

The most liberal candidate ever elected to the presidency opposes same sex-marriage!

Apparently the "civil rights" argument does not wash with America's first African-American president-elect.

In addition, 70 percent of African-Americans voted for Prop, 8 and a majority of Latinos did the same.

Why are angry gay activists not camped out at headquarters for the NAACP and La Raza?

Barack Obama Supporters Doomed Gay Marriage in California

2008-11-06T16:33:00.000-08:00

By John Kakistos Lillpop

Gay activists who lament the passage of the California measure (Prop. 8) that bans gay marriage are quick to label those who voted for the measure narrow minded bigots, homophobes, and right-wing religious fanatics.

Such activists accuse opponents of same-sex marriage as being intent on denying equality and civil rights to gays and lesbians.

However, in American society there is no demographic that has suffered greater discrimination and denial of civil rights than African- Americans; no demographic has a better understanding of the pain and suffering that discrimination inflicts on its victims.

That being said, one would expect the "civil rights" argument advanced by proponents of gay marriage to resonate particularly well among African-American voters.

Yet, 70 percent of the African-Americans who voted on November 4 voted for Proposition 8. That same demographic also voted even more overwhelmingly for Barack Obama.

By the way, the majority of Latinos who voted also voted to ban same-sex marriage.

The truth is that many African-Americans and Latinos simply do not believe that gay marriage is a civil rights issue. In fact, some blacks are hostile to the notion that the gay community has hijacked the civil rights issue.

In addition, Barack Obama himself has stated that he opposes gay marriage. Yes, he did indeed speak out against Proposition 8, calling it unnecessary.

Is Barack Obama a narrow minded bigot, a homophobe, or a religious nut case because he opposes same-sex marriage?

Why is acceptance of gay marriage NOT a part of the Obama Change vision?

Obama's First Major Test: Containing Joe Biden!

2008-11-05T16:28:00.000-08:00

Satire by John Kakistos Lillpop

Now that Barack Obama has officially stolen the election,he will, of course, be tested to determine if he has the mettle and cajoles to do the job.

With what foreign enemy might that first major test originate?

Maybe Fidel Castro, that demented old commie, will arrange for Russian nuclear missiles to be re-planted in Cuba in a desperate attempt to end the American embargo of his corrupt island dictatorship?

Perhaps Vladimir Putin will try to assert Russia's renewed status as a superpower to the new kid on the block by invading Georgia--as in Atlanta?

Or maybe Iranian crazy Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will test fire a few missiles over Tel Aviv, just to see if Obama really gives a tinker's damn about all those Jews?

The answer: None of the above!

In fact, Obama insiders are already drawing up plans for dealing with the most pernicious threat to the new administration: The unbridled mouth of Joseph Biden!

Known in inner circles as the Everready Bunny of Political Gaffes, Biden was prohibited from making public speeches or granting interviews over the last few days leading to the election.

Team Obama correctly reasoned that even a 20-point lead was not safe, given the uncanny ability of Joe Biden to say exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Therefore, now that Obama has won, the problem for Obama operatives is huge:

How to gag and muffle a presumably healthy vice president of the United States for at least four years without using water boarding, false imprisonment, a hired assassin, or lobotomy?

When you get down to it, Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez, Vladimir Putin, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and other scoundrels of their ilk are like Red Cross volunteers when compared to the devastation that an impromptu statement from Joe Biden can have!

If nothing else, chronicling the misadventures of Joe Biden and the mad scrambles by Obama to clean up Joe's messes could bring uproarious hilarity to an otherwise horrific story.

JKL

Satire By John Kakistos Lillpop

2008-11-05T15:14:00.001-08:00

November 5, 2008

Dear President-elect Obama:

Congratulations on your victory! President Bush was exactly right when he congratulated you and said that November 4 was an "awesome night."

Of course, to some 9/11 was as well, but let's not dwell needlessly on the past.

Back to your success: Who would have imagined that a person of color with only $750 million to spend, all of the mainstream media acting as your personal PR agency, and ACORN workers registering squirrels on your behalf would be able to accomplish this great deed?

It is truly a miracle that one would expect only from a Messiah or other deity, but we know that you are not so blessed and are in fact mortal, right?

The fact that neither you nor Jesus Christ were ever issued a valid birth certificate is sheer coincidence, right?

Mr. President-elect, is it OK if I call you Hussein?

By the way did you know that 96.9 percent of all people named Hussein are Islamofascists? An interesting tidbit, but probably just another coincidence?

Hussein, I want to let you know that your handling of Aunti, the illegal alien from Kenya was perfect! Your insistence that all laws be properly executed was most admirable.

Is Aunti going to be deported before or after the inaugural?

Given the fact that she has lived in public housing for nearly four years after being ordered by a court to leave the country, it would make sense to deport her as soon as possible.

Kudos also for returning Aunti's donation to your campaign!

Where do you suppose she came up with that $265.00 to send to a beloved nephew who raised $150 million dollars in September alone?

Hussein, I know that one of your campaign "promises" was to enact amnesty for the 38 million illegal aliens here from Mexico and points south. And I know that you hate to break campaign promises, your commitment to public campaign financing comes to mind.

However, in keeping with your insistence that all applicable laws be enforced with respect to Aunti, would it not make better sense to deport, rather than legalize, the illegal aliens from Mexico?

Now that the election is over, they have done their part to get you elected, and should be asked politely, but firmly, to go home.

Adios hombres, is the correct Spanish term, I believe, although my Spanish is not what it should be according to liberals.

Incidentally, what plans do you have to nudge Hispanics toward English? We could save billions of taxpayer dollars by not printing ballots and other documents in Spanish.

Another area in which you showed real leadership is ACORN, the institution of community organizers that registers voters for the Democrat party. As you know, ACORN has been accused of voter fraud; some offices have been raided and shut down.

Knowing your past close affiliation with ACORN, I was delighted to learn that you actually called for a special prosecutor to be appointed to investigate the group.

With any luck, the special prosecutor will have a final report issued near the end of your second term, probably sometime late in 2016.

Again, I assume that your recent $800,000 check to ACORN is yet another pesky coincidence, of no real concern with respect to the November 4 election?

From an administrative point of view it might help if you asked the special prosecutor to investigate the kerfuffel concerning your birth certificate at the same time as the ACORN inquiry, and demand that a final report be issued no later than June, 2010, well in advance of the mid-term elections.

Just a couple of additional items, Hussein: I suppose you heard about the "Black Only" policy that Black Panther members were trying to impose in Philadelphia on election day?

Can we assume that you will address this behavior in an appropriate and timely fashion? Perhaps as part of the State of the Union address?

Finally, I know that the media, both international and domestic, are calling your victory a "landslide" with some even suggesting that conservatism is a dead ideology.

With all due respect, sir, I would point out that John McCain did manage to squeeze out 56,000,000 votes, which is ten million more than President Clinton ever managed.

The point being that, yes, your win was impressive but 55 million people voted for the other guy and gal!

One last item: I have cousins living in rural Pennsylvania who are affectionately known in some circles (read John Murtha) as red necks. All have guns and Bibles and other dangerous objects in their homes.

Anyhow, the cousins sent the attacked picture and would be most grateful for your autograph.

Cousin Willie,in the middle, asked if you would kindly autograph his protruding belly--we told him that you could write your entire inauguration speech on that flab, but we know that you are pressed for time.

Once again, best wishes on your new job and White House in that mostly black neighborhood in D.C.

Depending on the results of that investigation by the Special Prosecutor, I may consider voting for you in 2010.

Until Then,

John Kakistos Lillpop
California

Black Panthers Intimidate Voters: Change We NEED?

2008-11-04T19:57:00.000-08:00

By John Karkistos Lillpop

Everyone knows that Barack Obama promised change, but as voters in Philadelphia discovered on election day, some Black Panthers took change to mean "Black Only" at the polling places.

Worldnetdaily.com has the full story, including these quotes:

"'We're tired of white supremacy," and "We will not allow some racists and other angry whites, who are upset over an impending Barack Obama presidential victory, to intimidate blacks at the polls. "Most certainly, we cannot allow these racist forces to slaughter our babies or commit other acts of violence against the black population, nor our black president."

You Tube video:

Whither the "post-partisan" era that Obama promised?

Whom Will Obama's Illegal Alien Aunti Vote For?

2008-11-01T11:55:00.001-07:00

Undecided?

By John W. Lillpop

Ignoring the rule of law in order to enrich one's selfish self is apparently a genetic defect in the Obama family DNA.

At least that appears to be the case given Obama's renegade disregard for the law when it comes to illegal aliens, voter fraud, domestic terrorism, and even his own eligibility to be U.S. president.

Therefore, it should come as no great surprise that Zeituni Onyango is living in public housing in Boston and is the half-sister of Obama's late father, which makes her Obama's aunt.

She is also an illegal alien whom was instructed to leave the country four years ago by an immigration judge who rejected her request for asylum from her native Kenya. **

Of course, Obama claims that he did not know that his dear aunt was here illegally.

Just like he did not know that Bill Ayers has never expressed regret for his vile act of domestic terrorism.

Just like he did not know that his spiritual advisor, Jeremiah Wright, blamed the U.S. for 9.11.

Just like he did not know that ACORN was up to its eyeballs in voter fraud on his behalf.

Perhaps we now know why Obama has refused so adamantly to come clean on his birth certificate?

The dude is trying to avoid deportation as an illegal alien from Kenya!

The really big question: Are the Republicans checking to make sure that Aunt Zeituni Onyango is NOT being driven to the polls in an ACORN limousine and casting a vote for her non-citizen nephew next Tuesday?

The second most critical question: Does Aunt Zeituni Onyango speak Spanish? If not, why not?

The third most critical question: Where did Aunti come up with that $260 that she funneled to Obama, and has Obama returned said dirty money?

**

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081101/ap_on_el_pr/obama_aunt

Mighty Marxists from Little ACORNs Grow!

2008-11-01T08:33:00.001-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

A savant of the Middle East offered this counsel to the people more than 2,000 years ago, "By his fruits shall ye know him!"

Those words have rich meaning in 2008, especially as pertains to Barack Obama.

That is so because Obama has racked up more than a few endorsements from foreign enemies of the United States as well as all of the domestic leftists in the business of anti-American chaos.

A partial list of Obama endorsements to date should be enough to dissuade any patriot citizen from throwing in with Barack Obama, the communist non-citizen:

Fidel Castro

Hugo Chavez

Louis Farrakhan

Ari Larijani, Speaker of the Iranian Parliament

Ahmed Yousuf, Hamas political adviser

Most of Hollywood

San Francisco

The New York Times, Los Angeles, and Most Leftist publications

La Raza, the ACLU, ACORN, NAACP

In addition, Obama is a huge favorite among the masses in Europe and China, where the best interests of America and her people are not a priority.

Citizen alert: Think very carefully before joining the likes of Fidel Castro and Louis Farrakhan in supporting a man whose candidacy would be humorous if the stakes were not so high.

In other words, "Partake not of the forbidden fruit, lest ye be smitten with death!"

Wedding of Brats Aged 5 and 7 Halted: SF Mayor to Rescue?

2008-10-31T17:48:00.001-07:00

Satire By John W. Lillpop

SAN FRANCISCO (LIL) -- A Muslim cleric in Pakistan was poised to give Allah's blessings to Mohammad Waseem, seven years old, and his bride Nishain Karachi, five, who were about to be joined in eternal marital bliss, or until they reached puberty, whichever came first.

However, it all came tumbling down when party pooping police raided the ceremony and arrested the Muslim cleric and the parents of the two children

Television footage showed both children in traditional wedding clothes in the laps of policemen after the raid – the girl with tears running down her cheeks.

Source**

There you go! Even as young as five years old, females hate to let go once they get their hooks locked into an available male!

Pakistan law forbids marriage below the age of 18, a law that Mayor Gavin Newsom of San Francisco described as "discriminatory, damnable, and damaging" to the civil rights of seven year old boys and five year old girls all across the globe.

Mayor Newsom immediately sent a text message to the young victims of Pakistan's archaic laws and invited the children, their parents, and the 100 wedding guests to visit San Francisco where he, the mayor, would be honored to marry the brats on the steps of San Francisco City Hall.

"Love must never be denied because of intolerant laws and bigoted minds," said Newsom, who added that gay weddings are terrific, but limited by the small population of gay lovers, estimated at 10 percent in the general population, and 70-90 percent in this din of inequity.

Apparently, the volume of gay marriages has petered out since the California Supreme Court legalized same sex weddings last June.

That has cut into Newsom's bottom line which is why he is willing to marry the young Pakistanis.

Da Mayor needs the $30.00 wedding fee, and said he may have to start accepting straight weddings if things don't pick up real soon!

Source**
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1879208.ece

Brother Barack: Why Not "Spread the Wealth" Among Kin?

2008-10-30T06:24:00.000-07:00

Analysis By John W. Lillpop

While Barack Obama harasses working class Americans like Joe the Plumber about the Marxist need to "spread the wealth," the Messiah conveniently ignores a hideous wealth schism within the Obama clan itself.

Barack and Michelle Obama, for example, while away the hours in elitist comfort in their lovely Mansion, the purchase of which involved corrupt thug Tony Rizzo, reportedly working in concert with that other world renowned Hussein, Saddam the
late!

WND

Meanwhile, Obama's younger brother lives in Kenya in a run down shack that would not be good enough for a servant's bathroom in Michelle's palatial digs in Illinois.

The young Kenyan eats mud for lunch-- on good days, when there is mud left over from the previous meal!

Say, Barack, why not lead by example when it comes to redistribution? You and Michelle move to Kenya into your brother's digs, and let him move into your Illinois mansion?

That would be fair and balanced, and would prove your genuine commitment to equality and family!

Ashley Todd: Covert ACORN Operative?

2008-10-24T18:49:00.000-07:00

Satire by John W. Lillpop

As Americans strive to recover from the devastating fraud perpetrated by Ashley Todd, a new unconfirmed report is about to explode.

It is being whispered about that Ashley Todd is, in fact, an Obama operative and ACORN director whose job it was to create a major distraction for a few days to cover up important news concerning Obama's fraudulent birth certificate.

Todd was also charged with diverting media coverage away from Joe the Plumber and his pesky bitching about Obama's communist plans for America.

The distraction worked beautifully, as mainstream media have been obsessed with the Ashley Todd hoax.

Media have even spinned the hoax as an ineloquent attempt by a psychotic racist to humiliate black men, that being Obama and Todd's alleged assailant who writes upside down and backwards when carving the letter "B" into an already repulsive face.

As of now, no mainstream media have had the guts to report that Todd's scheme was pre-planned to make it appear as though she were a demented surrogate for the McCain campaign.

Meanwhile, Obama is struggling silently to cover up legal appearances and Motions to Dismiss filed on his behalf. With the aid and comfort of the liberal media, Obama is finding that no lie is too huge or insidious to hide.

In another vile twist to this vile story, seasoned journalists are claiming that the Todd fraud should have been immediately recognized as such based on one outstanding fact:

Obama anarchists have been instructed to use guns, not knives.

Good point!

Consider, please: In order to counter his public image as a wuss, a bloke without the cojones that any American president must have to gain and maintain the upper hand against blood thirsty terrorists and brutal dictators, Barack Obama issued the following call to arms last June:

"If they (Republicans) bring a knife to the fight, we bring a gun," Obama said, according to pool reports."

GUNS

Clearly, the Messiah wants guns, not knives, to be used against Republicans!

Sorry, Ashley, but it appears as though you are just not devious enough to lie for Obama and ACORN!

"Dewey Defeats Truman," Harbinger of 2008?

2008-10-22T18:58:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

Sixty years ago, America held a presidential election that most pundits forecast as a win for Thomas E. Dewey over Harry S. Truman who ascended to the presidency when Franklin Roosevelt died in 1945.

Even back then, the media could not be trusted to do their jobs by reporting the news. So it was that the first edition of the Chicago Tribune on November 3, 1948 blared that, "Dewey Defeats Truman," which is still noteworthy because it was exactly backwards from the actual results.

Tribune reporter Arthur Sears Henning also reported that the Republicans had captured both the House and the Senate and could be counted on to have their way with the minority-party Democrats. That was also dead wrong.

Here in 2008, the mainstream media has all but declared, "Obama Defeats McCain," two weeks before most voting even starts. Doom and gloom is also forecast for Republican fortunes in the U.S. Congress.

Is lightning about to strike again? Has the media, in cahoots with Obama and the left, jumped the gun, ALA 1948? Is Barack Obama the 2008 version of Thomas E. Dewey?

Will Republicans have the last, and most gratifying, laugh two weeks hence?

Ta-ta Tutu, Or Aloha to White House? Why Is Obama Oahu-bound?

2008-10-22T08:55:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

Barack Obama would have the world believe that, as we enter the last days of the historical presidential campaign, he has decided to stop campaigning in order to visit his ailing grand mother in Hawaii.

Duh, curious given the fact that he was just there in August.

There is another possibility. Namely, answering the Supreme Court Petition by ANDY MARTIN, found at the link below, which challenges the Messiah's birth certificate and eligibility for the U.S. Presidency.

Aloha to the presidency? One can only hope and pray!

Aloha:

Joe the Plumber Versus Obama the Elitist

2008-10-16T07:53:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

Barack Obama's exchange with "Joe the plumber" has been well chronicled in the media. However, Barack Obama and the Marxists who support him in the Democrat Party do not really understand Joe's message.

Given the opportunity to speak more expansively, Joe the plumber would probably say something like the following:

"Senator Obama, I do not believe that you fully understand my point.

You see, most Americans come from families of very modest means. Very few 'average' Americans can afford a Harvard education and all of the financial and social benefits that come to people who can afford a world class education.

While you and your lovely wife are well educated lawyers who have no concerns about paying the mortgage or feeding your family or educating your children, that is not our world.

We must work long and hard for everything just to survive.

Our world requires sacrifice and more sacrifice just to buy a home, provide for our children, plan for their education, and pay the local, state, and federal taxes we are already burdened with.

Our world requires working on tedious and boring jobs just to make ends meet each month.

Despite the drudgery of just surviving, we have made the sacrifices required.

We have secured the vocational training needed to do our work. We give our employers an honest day of labor for an honest wage.

Through grit and non-ending sacrifice, we have improved ourselves and the prospects for a better future for our children.

Through hard work and sacrifice, we have achieved a very modest amount of "wealth."

Now you, a millionaire attorney who lives in a large mansion, want to redistribute our 'wealth' at your discretion?

With all respect, senator, not only do you not understand average Americans, you simply do not understand why America is the greatest nation in human history.

If you are elected president, senator, before rushing to convert America into a socialist nation, please answer the following question, honestly, to your own satisfaction:

Why has socialism failed in every nation in which it has been attempted?

Thank you."

All Americans should ask themselves that same question before turning this great nation over to a confirmed Marxist.

Force George Bush to Deliver State of Union Before He Skips Town!

2008-10-09T06:30:00.001-07:00

Satire By John W. Lillpop

Unprecedented, it would be.

Nevertheless, think about it: Why should John McCain or Barack Obama be forced to stand before the U.S. Congress, the nation, and the world next January to explain the dreadful mess that George W. Bush has created?

After all, giving the 2009 State of the Union message is bound to be a lose-lose proposition for whomever it falls on to deliver said oratory.

On one hand, standing before the world and declaring that the "State of the Union is good," would be farcical, but all too typical of Bush.

On the other hand, telling the truth by saying the "State of the Union is dismal," could cause additional panic and dismay, neither of which will help alleviate the situation.

Since accountability and personal responsibility are making a come back, why not prop the hapless George W. Bush up one last time and let him accept blame for the financial meltdown, rampant home foreclosures, the never ending Iraq war, open borders and out of control illegal immigration, revitalization of Russia and communism there, and China's ascent as a global power?

Moreover, since W is widely recognized as a fanatical baseball fan, let him include a weepy statement of compassion for fans of the Chicago Cubs, poor souls that have been denied a world championship for the 100th consecutive year.

100, and counting.

"Wait until next year," W could plea in a message intended for jilted Cub fans, but which would be equally applicable to anyone with a spiritual or financial stake in America.

To conclude his presidency, at high noon on January 20, W should ride out of town on a blind donkey, symbolic of his vision less incompetence and closeted fondness for the Democrat party.

Once W has moved his blind ass beyond the Washington, D.C. city limits, President McCain or President Obama would get the key to the White House.

America would then begin the long, tortured journey away from the miserable legacy left by the "Worst president in U.S. history."

"Ayers" of His Way Come Back to Haunt Barack Obama

2008-10-07T11:27:00.001-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

William Ayers is not the sort of fellow that any patriotic, mainstream American would willingly choose as a friend.

In fact, given the choice, most Americans would not even associate with his type.

From Wikipedia, this profile:

"Ayers became involved in the New Left and the Students for a Democratic Society (SDS). He rose to national prominence as an SDS leader in 1968 and 1969. As head of an SDS regional group, the "Jesse James Gang", Ayers made decisive contributions to the Weatherman orientation toward militancy. The group Ayers headed in Detroit, Michigan became one of the earliest gatherings of what became the Weatherman. Between the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago and the June 1969 SDS convention, Ayers became a prominent leader of the group, which arose as a result of a schism in SDS.

"During that time his infatuation with street fighting grew and he developed a language of confrontational militancy that became more and more pronounced over the year [1969],' disaffected former Weatherman member Cathy Wilkerson wrote in 2001. Ayers had previously become a roommate of Terry Robbins, a fellow militant, Wilkerson wrote. Robbins would later be killed while making a bomb. In June 1969, the Weatherman took control of the SDS at its national convention, where Ayers was elected Education Secretary. Later in 1969, Ayers participated in planting a bomb at a statue dedicated to riot police casualties in the 1886 Haymarket Riot confrontation between labor supporters and the police.

"In 1970 he 'went underground' with several associates after the Greenwich Village townhouse explosion, in which Weatherman member Ted Gold, Ayers' close friend Terry Robbins, and Ayers' girlfriend, Diana Oughton, were killed when a nail bomb (an anti-personnel device) they were assembling exploded. Kathy Boudin and Cathy Wilkerson survived the blast. Ayers was not facing criminal charges at the time, but the federal government later filed charges against him. Ayers participated in the bombings of New York City Police Headquarters in 1970, the United States Capitol building in 1971, and The Pentagon in 1972."

Reading about William Ayers automatically conjures up images of Osama bin Laden and other brutal terrorists intent on destroying America.

Affiliating with such a person is not what one would normally expect to find in the dossier of a serious candidate for the presidency of the United States. Yet that is precisely the case with Barack Obama.

Of course, Obama now denies knowing anything about Ayers' background and claims that he barely knew the terrorist.

However, the Republican Party has documented the Obama-Ayers relationship thoroughly, a document that can be viewed at the link below:

http://www.gop.com/News/NewsRead.aspx?Guid=768aa784-72f3-4b43-acb6-c5fe81d901cd

In addition, from the Weekly Standard, this report about CNN's review of the Obama-Ayers relationship:

"CNN's Drew Griffin reports that Obama and Ayers funded niche lefty causes and Jeremiah Wright's church. And a number of sources who attended Obama's coming out party hosted by Ayers in 1995 dispute the Obama camp's portrayal of that meeting:
Obama campaign representative Anita Dunn: A Democratic state senator organizes a meeting of her supporters at the house of another one of her supporters. ... It is the worst kind of inference and the worst kind of politics to say that that says something about Barack Obama....

CNN reporter Drew Griffin: What I can tell you from two people who were actually there is that, number one, former [Democratic] state senator Alice Palmer says she in no way organized this meeting. She was invited and attended it briefly.

Dr. Quentin Young, a retired doctor, told us this indeed was Barack Obama's political coming out party, and it was hosted by Bill Ayers."

http://www.weeklystandard.com/weblogs/TWSFP/2008/10/cnn_actually_reports_on_ayerso_1.asp

As much as Barack Obama and his minions would like to close their eyes and wish William Ayers away, the domestic terrorist is here to stay, and his presence in the life of the man who would be 44th President of the United States must be thoroughly investigated by responsible journalists, and explained by Obama himself.

Why did Obama affiliate with Ayers to begin with, and why did he deliberately lie about that affiliation?

Of course the larger question that the American people are owed a reasonable answer for is:

Why should anyone vote for a presidential candidate whose "coming out party" in politics was hosted by an Osama bin Laden-like terrorist?

Another nagging question: Why have mainstream tigers like Charles Gibson, Katie Couric, and others worked 24/7 to "expose" Governor Palin, while ignoring Barack Obama's frightening affiliation with William Ayers?

Is Barack Obama Sufficiently Stable to Lead America?

2008-09-27T08:32:00.001-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

Barack Obama has paid exceptional amounts of money to have his image crafted by savvy professionals who have made the Democrat appear to be a cool, calm, and collected stalwart with both feet squarely on the ground, unflappable, and always in control.

As a result of his pricey PR makeover, Obama is seen by liberals as a perfect match for the high stress and emotional drama that comes with being CEO and commander-in-chief of the world's only superpower.

(At least we hope America will still be a superpower on January 20!)

Unfortunately, the truth about Barack Obama reveals a much different story.

To begin with, the candidate has a history of drug use as chronicled in The Audacity of Hope, in which he confesses to illegal drug experimentation.

As commendable as it is for Obama to voluntarily expose his dirty laundry, it is worth noting that former drug offenders are often quite skilled at manipulating facts to avoid the full, ugly truth from being exposed. Many drastically and deliberately understate the extent of their drug use, and hide other less innocent crimes in the process.

No one is saying that that is the case with Barack Obama; however, it is prudent to be alert to all possibilities, especially where the presidency of the United States is concerned.

Furthermore, Obama has apparently been unable to break his addiction to tobacco. Smoking cigarettes is a particularly pernicious weakness that speaks to a character defect of the type that rarely curses strong, capable leaders.

Smoking is a killer of weak community organizers, rather than bold innovators and agents of change.

Smoking cigarettes obviously poses a grave health risk, another factor that voters must take into account before voting on November 4.

Even more importantly, the President of the United States is a role model for young people all over the world; he is supposed to be an inspiration to those starting out in life with stars in their eyes and dreams in their innocent minds.

Seeing an African-American with a cigarette dangling from his mouth, obviously bound by the slavery of tobacco addiction, sends an awful message to our youth, one that makes the Audacity of Hope seem a cruel hoax.

To say nothing of the obvious appearance of impropriety. How can Barack Obama be an effective warrior against Big Tobacco moguls when the man is utterly dependent on their products for his own emotional stability?

How can the Chosen One be the poster child for "Just Say No!" when he himself is a veritable bowl of jelly without a Camel to puff on?

As if Obama's past drug use and current addition to tobacco were not bad enough, it is well known that the 47-year-old is hooked on cell telephones, again almost to the point of addiction.

In fact, unconfirmed rumors suggest that the cauliflower ears sported by the candidate are the direct result of over exposure to cell telephones!

Were it not for the disfiguring effects of constantly being affixed to a cell phone, some scientists claim that Obama's ears would be close to normal.

As it is, Obama seems a dead ringer for that popular Disney figure, Dumbo the Flying elephant.

The fact that the elephant is a copyrighted icon of the Republican Party makes Obama's appearance highly offensive to both liberals and conservatives alike.

In addition to the bad karma wrought by unsightly big ears, there is a credible health risk to take into account.

Specifically, some scientists believe that "The potential link between mobile telephones and brain cancer could be similar to the link between lung cancer and smoking -- something tobacco companies took 50 years to recognize, according to US scientists' warning."

http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5i2GtaXt_4waJptMgS8t9Kt2fx7RQ

Besides the obvious health issues involved in drug use, addiction to tobacco, and dangerous overuse of cell phones, a vital question must be answered: Why would one so cool, calm, and collected need drugs, tobacco, or cell phones to function?

Barack Obama seems to need artificial substances and or devices in order to cope.

Can Americans afford to entrust the future of this nation, and the w

Team Obama "Truth Squad" Nails Bill Clinton!

2008-09-27T08:30:00.000-07:00

Satire By John W. Lillpop

Proving that not all Change is necessarily a good thing, some powerful Democrats in Missouri have taken the unprecedented step of forming "Truth Squads" to protect Barack Obama from "false criticisms."

Television station KMOV has aired a story alleging that two St. Louis County Circuit Attorneys are threatening to bring criminal libel charges against anyone who levels what turns out to be false criticisms of their chosen candidate for President, that of course being Barack Obama.

http://gatewaypundit.blogspot.com/2008/09/missouri-sheriffs-prosecuters-form.html

The mind boggles at the potential for abuse, especially since the Truth Squad appears to be on the prowl only for false criticisms aimed at the Democrat. Locals are apparently free to lambaste John McCain with lies at will.

Again, liberal insanity makes national headlines.

With the U.S. economy in meltdown, Russia invading Latin America, and the Chinese implementing population control with poison milk, there is hardly enough news to keep news junkies satisfied.

Team Obama Truth Squads could fill the news gap with some outrageous hilarity during the 40 odd days left until the election.
For instance, suppose that Bill Clinton decided to stump for Obama in St. Louis.

Suppose also that Bubba inadvertently repeats his "fairy tale" comment about the Obama candidacy, hastening the following emergency call:

Attorney:

Operator? This is a powerful attorney and I am reporting an emergency. Barack Obama has been libeled-- we need an armed police response now!

9-11 Operator:

Please remain calm, sir. Did I understand you to say that Barack Obama has been criticized publicly? What exactly was said and by whom?

Attorney:
Bill Clinton, racist and known enemy of all black people, said that Obama is chasing a "fairy tale" by running for president!

9-11 Operator:

Oh, my goodness. That is serious--and probably above my
pay grade! Is this Clinton fellow armed?

Attorney:

No, he is anti-gun, remember? Please get the police over to
KMOV studios immediately. We have to stomp out this hate speech before it spreads to other TV stations!

9-11 Operator:

Sir, I have seven squad cars rolling that way as we speak. Do your best to restrain this Clinton nut until the men in Blue arrive. And thank you for calling 9-11!

Within minutes, 20 of St. Louis' best and brightest arrive with weapons flashing. They quickly surround Bubba and order him to surrender or face the consequences.

As the KMOV cameras roll, Slick Willie gives in, is handcuffed, shoved into a police car, and hauled to the nearest police precinct in downtown St. Louis.

At the police station, Slick Willie demands that his right to make one telephone call be honored.

Obama's Truth Squad advises Slick that all phones are busy and will not be back in service until 8 AM, November 5, at which time he will be free to make one local call.

That, my fellow Americans, is Truth and the American way from the "Show Me!" state of Missouri!

America: Get Off Your Toxic Assets and Fight Back!

2008-09-25T10:26:00.001-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

As the economic reality of being broke starts to settle in on we Americans who were raised to believe that divine intervention made us # 1 and would keep us there forever, it is time to start fighting for that which is rightfully ours.

That means that elected officials and those running for elective office need to start acting like Americans instead of spineless, nut less wimps. The last thing our nation needs right now is some flaky liberal obsessed with being a "Citizen of the World."

We don't need no stinkin' citizen of the world in the Oval Office! Especially when Old Glory is flying upside down in distress.

We need a leader who is proud to be an American, has been all of his life, and will be until his soul is returned to the Creator.

We need a patriot who is passionately in love with freedom and Democracy and with all things American.

We need a president who is not ashamed of being an American, and who thinks that the U.S. being # 1 is just terrific.

We need a commander-in-chief who thinks that being the best in the world is something to boast about, a noble cause worth fighting for.

We need a president who really believes that America is the best thing to happen to human kind.

Regaining the national mojo will not be easy. But there are several immediate steps that can be taken to make America First! the imperative in Washington, D.C. once again.

To begin with, concerned patriots need to think "outside the fox" when casting their ballots on November 4. That means being honest about the candidates and their positions on the issues.

Honestly: Can America trust Democrats to fight the war on terror and the economic crisis with the appropriate America First! gusto?

These are not times well suited for queasy liberal globalists like Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Barack Obama, and Joe Biden!

Of course, Republicans have their warts, and plenty of them. However, they seem the lesser of two evils.

For the preservation of American culture and superpower status, we the people must elect a Republican president and restore Republican majorities in both houses of the Congress.

Having done so, we will have at least given America a fighting chance to survive.

Other fundamental changes are mandatory, among which are these:

*Eliminate deficit spending and "off budget" malarkey. Put the numbers down honestly and spend only what we have.

*Make tax cuts permanent.

*Make energy independence a priority, even if means drilling for oil in Nancy Pelosi's backyard in San Francisco.

*Make English the official language and stop the practice of printing ballots and other governmental and educational materials in foreign languages. Having more than one language is divisive, expensive, and unpatriotic!

*This is America, we speak English here and those uncomfortable with that reality are welcome to get the hell out--adios, Sayonara, blah, blah, blah.

*Kick the United Nations out of the U.S. and get the U.S. out of the United Nations! America spends far too much money in support of this gaggle of anti-American socialists.

*Immediately cease all foreign aid! Start with Mexico and Pakistan, and go down the list of terrorist-sponsoring states until the slate is clean.

*Secure the borders with military, including the use of deadly force if necessary.

*Deport the 38 million or so illegal aliens living on the backs of American taxpayers. The cost of deportation to be borne by the nations that allowed (encouraged!) their illiterate peasants to invade America in the first place!

This is, alas, but a starting point for the second American Revolution.

Are you ready to fight for America and the future of your children?

Is W Lying About Missing Corporate Profits?

2008-09-22T09:32:00.001-07:00

Satire By John W. Lillpop

Congressional Democrats who voted to authorize the use of military force against Iraq in 2002 have spent the last five plus years explaining how they were mislead and manipulated by a conniving man whom they also swear is an incompetent nincompoop.

Geniuses, near geniuses, want to be geniuses, and geniuses in training like Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, Harry Reid, John Kerry and other Democrat luminaries claim that President Bush made up WMD intelligence out of whole cloth, sold his snake oil to the United Nations, and co-opted the rest of the world into believing that Saddam Hussein was a bad actor with bad intentions.

All on a lark!

Which is not too shabby for a man that Democrats contend is blessed with an IQ no higher than an ounce of wind blasted prairie weed.

To his credit, Barack Obama did not sup of Bush's Iraq snake oil by voting with Biden, Reid, Clinton, Kerry and other intellectual progressives in October of 2002.

Instead, the community organizer and future Messiah spent his time hanging out on the streets of Chicago with the likes of Weather Underground terrorist William Ayes, Islamofascist apologist Rev. Jeremiah Wright, and “Tony” Rezko.

Who says that Obama has no experience? If the old adage, "It takes a thieve to catch a thieve" has any merit, Obama has plenty of experience and must surely be the Chosen One!

Given the fact that Democrats were such easy marks on WMD, what assurances do we have that these same gullible goof balls are asking the right questions, probing the right spots, and applying the due diligence needed to sort out the financial kerfuffel now stinking up America from coast to bloody coast?

For example, has anyone figured out why is essential that $700 billion dollars of taxpayer money be coughed up NOW to rescue a gang of corrupt bankers and financial wizards whose magic wands have suddenly gone sour?

Why can't the issue wait until January 20th and a new administration?

Are those missing corporate profits really missing, or is this just another Bush ruse, in the same category of political malfeasance as the missing WMD?

Has anyone hacked into Dick Cheney's laptop to determine how much of this fiasco is another staged event for the benefit of Halliburton stock and the VP's mad money account?

Before writing a $700 billion check to a cabal of loan sharks and whore mongers disguised as loan sharks, shouldn't someone first consult with Maxine Waters, queen of Watts?

Perhaps government should heed Water's Words of Wisdom by seizing obscene profits stolen by oil freaks at Exxon and Shell, and use said funds to buy off corrupt bankers?

Maybe it is finally time to take Dennis Kucinich and his impeachment talk seriously?

Why not impeach President Bush and save $700 billion dollars, which can then be used by Democrats to fund public services for illegal aliens, reparations for African-Americans and Native Americans, and other worthy progressive causes?

Wake up liberals! We the people are counting on you to outsmart Dubya this time!

A Weekly Synopsis of Liberal Insanity As Seen by John Lillpop

2008-09-12T12:34:00.001-07:00

Satire

As a man of faith, I am convinced that our Creator would have long ago cast out every manner of liberal from the face of the earth were it not for one divine truth: The healing power of Laughter!

Each week, liberals seem to get goofier and goofier, bringing great distress to those who take these clowns seriously, while providing the rest of us with rich material for derisive laughter and frolic!

The week just ended has been no exception. Consider these comedic situations from the insanity called liberalism:

*Nancy Pelosi's curious interpretation of the Catholic Church's teaching on abortion;

*Oprah Winfrey's wacky rejection of the Fairness Doctrine as regards Governor Sarah Palin;

*Barack Obama's green-with-envy attempt to smear Governor Palin with lipstick better suited for a pig;

*MSNBC's long overdue concession to professionalism and objectivity in dumping Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann;

*New York Governor David Paterson's blind attempt at race baiting;

*Charlie Rangel's taxing lies;

*Joe Biden's concession speech to Hillary Clinton after the convention and while actively campaigning for the Obama-Biden ticket, and

*Michael Moore's prayers answered by a hurricane named after a great Republican president!

What a week it was! The comedic jewels are chronicled below

**********************************************************

Hurricane Ike: Answer to Liberal Prayers?

It appears as though Michael Moore's supplications for death and destruction are about to be answered in the great state of Texas.

Hurricane Ike is scheduled to hit the Lone Star state with the force of a Category Three hurricane, bringing with it the prospect for billions of dollars in property damage and the potential for loss of life and great bodily harm.

Millions of people have had their lives turned upside down and have been ordered to evacuate their homes as soon as possible.

In a report on accuweather.com, "the potential for catastrophic damage is extremely high. According to Forecasting Manager Ken Reeves, ' In contrast to the major hits in the Gulf over the past several years, including Katrina, Ike will not weaken significantly before landfall. As a result, the damage potential is exponentially higher.' *

Just the sort of carnage that Michael Moore, a pig whether or not he is smeared with lipstick, and his liberal pals would drool over.

An added bonus for freaky leftists, the deadly storm has been named after a former Republican president.

Truly, the perfect storm for liberal moon bats everywhere!

**********************************************************

Joe Biden Nearly Gets One Right!

Give Joe Biden partial credit for stating the obvious: Hillary Clinton would have been a better VP choice than his dreary old self.

Biden's admission, a feeble attempt at being gracious, is in fact, a meaningless bit of flaky snake oil since damn near anyone would be a better choice than the arrogant, balding plagiarist from Delaware.

Had Joe Biden been a real gentleman and patriot, he would have blessed the electorate with these words:

"To be perfectly frank, Governor Sarah Palin is even more qualified than Hillary Clinton to serve in the White House. Governor Palin is smarter, younger, tougher, and better looking than the tired old feminist from New York, and Sarah is not an annoying bitch!"

**********************************************************

Rangel Wrangles Around Paying His Fair Share in Taxes

In October of 2007, Rep. Charles Rangel, (D-N.Y.), shocked the civilized world with a proposal so extreme that it was dubbed the "Mother of All Tax Hikes" by reasonable folks (Republicans) in the U.S. House.

At the time, it was unclear why the rotund Rangel, head of the House tax-writing committee, would propose something so draconian.

Was this raspy-voiced bundle of liberal tomfoolery that out-of-touch about the devastating effect that over taxation can have on a family budget and the national economy?

As it turns out, Rangel was not concerned because he has been a tax cheat for 20 years! Higher taxes mean nothing if you do not pay them.

Example: Visit a local car wash and ask one of the illegal aliens trolling for loose change his opinion about higher taxes. Without exception, the respondent will shrug his shoulders and express his complete apathy, in Spanish.

You see, illegal aliens do not pay taxes, but they steal public services paid for by people who do. If anything, higher taxes mean a bigger pool of dinero from which illegals can steal.

Charles Rangel's case is much the same.

Except that the powerful lawbreaker has been caught with his chubby fingers stuck in the cookie jar, and now owes the IRS a bundle in unpaid taxes, penalties and fines.

According to the likable Rangel, he has gone 20 years without knowing the details of his beach property in the Dominican Republic.

Here we have the man responsible for writing the tax code for an entire nation, yet when it comes to his own taxes, questions like "How much rent was collected?" and "How much rent should be reported as income?" are beyond his ability to answer.

In a real grasp at straws even for a hypocritical liberal, Rangel blamed the confusion in part on language and cultural barriers with the operators of the resort.

There you go! Another fundamental reason why English Only MUST be made the law of the land in America, the Dominican Republic, Mexico, and other locations where tax-adverse liberals have investments.

Still, it is best for America that this Rangel thug has not been sent to prison.

Think about it: The cost to feed the behemoth leftist might lead to even higher taxes, and that would make Rangel deliriously happy!

**********************************************************
Governing While Color-Blind in New York

Shortsighted Democrats are constantly on the prowl for a catch phrase or innocuous expression that can be twisted and manipulated into the immoral equivalent of the N word.

It is called race baiting, an evil practice that has been used for decades by Democrats to mask their lack of palatable solutions to the vital issues of the day.

Now a non-sighted nut ball, known more officially as New York Governor David Paterson, has weighed in by alleging that "community organizer" is racist code-speak for black.

Paterson is the blind, black, and bellicose adulterer-druggie who had the good fortune of being available when Governor Eliot Spitzer decided to spend more time with his family (and defense lawyers) last spring.

Sensing that fellow black Barack Obama was on the verge of a historic meltdown, Paterson recently decided to add his unique vision to the debate by saying, "At this point, Americans wouldn't tolerate a racial appeal. What I'm saying is that there are sneaky ways to try to hurt someone," he said.

Sneaky ways? Now that IS an outrage!

Now that the evils of slavery, Jim Crow, unequal justice, and racial profiling have been addressed, America still has to concern itself with "sneaky" words?

Good heavens, where the *F*** is George Carlin, now that we need him most desperately?

Reporter Don Dahler (see WCBST link) adds that "what disturbed Paterson most was what seemed like derisive laughter on the part of the Republicans at Obama's choice of helping his community rather than getting rich on Wall Street."

WCBST
http://wcbstv.com/politics/paterson.mccain.palin.2.813646.htm

Sneaky ways AND derisive laughter? That is downright un-American!

Clearly, America needs need tough new laws and a cabinet level department reporting directly to the president to investigate, detect, document, prosecute, and eradicate sneaky words and derisive laughter from the political process.

We could name the tough new law the "Fairness Doctrine," a suitable oxymoron for yet another foolhardy attempt by leftists to annihilate the First Amendment.

Just to show that the government really means business, let's really sock it to the fellow who maliciously attacked Sarah Palin with that sneaky "Lipstick on a Pig" jab, issued to elicit derisive laughter from gooey-eyed liberals not smart enough to recognize a meltdown by their candidate, even when said meltdown was taking place in front of their very eyes!

Still, perhaps there is a simple way to explain this community organizer conundrum so that weepy-eyed liberals like Governor Paterson can understand.

During the Viet Nam War, community organizers were the anti-war moon bats who evaded the military draft and rooted for victory by the North Vietnamese. They were NOT among the brave patriots who were held captive in North Viet Nam prisons, subjected to torture and great bodily harm on a daily basis for years and years.

Jane Fonda was a community organizer back in the 60s and 70s.

John McCain is an American hero and patriot who spent five years as a POW in North Viet Nam.

John McCain was NOT a community organizer!

See my point, Governor?

**********************************************************
MSNB Opts for Objectivity, Professionalism: Matthews, Olbermann Bounced!

As further evidence of the devastating power of Sarahmania!, executives at MSNBC have decided to clean up the airwaves by removing lefties Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann as anchors of live political events.

Matthews, who admits that he wets his pants in excitement when covering Barack Obama, will continue to disgrace journalism with "Hard Ball," a daily tragedy in which the host takes five minutes to ask each of his questions, and then refuses to allow assembled guests to answer.

Perhaps Matthews' narcissistic self-talk will be countered when liberals resurrect the Fairness Doctrine?

Olbermann, a former sportscaster, will continue with "Countdown," another dismal embarrassment on a network that should know better. This untidy bundle of liberal insanity is still trying to remember how to count to 10, wasting valuable network time in the process.

Viva Sarahmania!

**********************************************************

Of Red Lipstick and Green Envy

A bitterly chastened Barack Obama is striking out like a rattlesnake in heat now that a gun-toting grandma from Alaska has stolen his thunder, absconded with his female voters, fleeced five million dollars from Chicago donors who should know better, and ripped off his mojo.

This is what happens in the big leagues of politics when a sexist community organizer casts off a 60s-something feminist and her 18 million votes like so many worthless American flags at a convention run by "progressive" socialists.

Things have gotten so nasty for the Messiah that some experts are no longer certain that the Anointed One will be resurrected and seated at the Right hand of power come November 4.

As one would expect from a community organizer who has never held a real job with adult responsibilities, Barack Obama is not handling this CHANGE well.

He was supposed to be the cool, calm, and collected miracle worker who, we were told, was so charismatic and personable that terrorists like Osama bin Laden and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would be converted into Red Cross community organizers just be gazing into his Jihad eyes.

However, all of that charm and magic escaped Obama's persona when he slithered from the gutter and declared "Lipstick on a pig, still a pig," an ugly comment created by slimy left-wing nut balls still loyal to Hillary Clinton.

At first blush, John McCain and Sarah appeared outraged by the Obama slam. Until, that is, pollsters started to report that Obama's sexist drivel was driving women to the McCain-Palin ticket in droves.

Now the McCain-Palin team is praying that Obama will say something equally as idiotic again, as soon as possible.

Given enough Obama public statements to feast on, the McCain-Palin may be able to win the election without the need to campaign further.

Speak to us again, Holy Community Organizer!

**********************************************************

Oprah Just Says NO! to Fairness!

Oprah Winfrey's refusal to interview Sarah Palin will not cost the television mogul a regular viewer in my home.

There are no Oprah addicts here to begin with, have never been, and never will be because Winfrey's narrow-minded definition of herself as a "victim" is offensive.

Victim status legitimately goes to those fighting to feed their families and keep a roof over their heads, problems not often faced by billionaire talk show hostesses.

Winfrey is much like Michelle Obama in the sense that, despite being hugely successful and prosperous, both women harbor deep resentments against America.

Each refuses to credit America for the exceptional opportunities that have been afforded them; neither is grateful or "proud" to be American.

Furthermore, Winfrey apparently finds Sarah Palin "too white" for her television show. On the other hand, Barack Obama's skin pigmentation seemed to blend in nicely with Winfrey's biases and prejudices.

The big question: How might Winfrey react if she were forced to interview Sarah by a fascist government bent on enforcing the resurrected Fairness Doctrine?

**********************************************************
Aborting Nancy Pelosi's Unholy Communion

Nancy Pelosi is an intrepid progressive who rarely deviates from the basic tenets of liberalism, including devout worship of abortion rights, the Holy Grail of liberalism.

She is also a Catholic, a fact that would appear to be in direct conflict with her stance on abortion. In a recent stint on Meet the Press, Pelosi was asked to reconcile the conflict by host Tom Brokaw.

Pelosi's response shocked good Catholics, as well as some not-so-good ones, from coast to coast, and cast a pall over the mental health of the woman who stands third in line for succession to the United States presidency.

She essentially said that that church fathers, such as St. Augustine, had not defined over the centuries when life begins nor did they have a solid position on abortion.

Understand that Nancy Pelosi has never been mistaken for an intellectual, or a gifted genius. She has never been invited to speak about rocket science or cosmic mathematics before the local Mensa in San Francisco.

Nor does the Lady bring the credentials of a theological scholar to the debate.

Still, by claiming that the Catholic Church does not own a solid position on abortion, Madam Speaker crashed through the incredulity ceiling with greater force than when she became the first woman Speaker of the United States House.

She also sent some Catholics into hysteria upon learning of her confusion on an issue so critical to the teachings of the Catholic Church.

Living in San Francisco has given Pelosi the luxury of residing in her make believe dream world without being challenged as to her eligibility to participate in Catholic rituals such as Holy Communion.

Until now, that is.

Driven by Catholics angered by Pelosi's schizophrenic "have it both ways" behavior, San Francisco Archbishop George H. Niederauer may be about to abort Pelosi's Unholy Communion.

In a letter delivered to Pelosi's office, Archbishop Niederauer stated that local Catholics are pressuring him to forbid the California Democrat to receive Holy Communion because of her recent televised remarks favoring abortion.

For the benefit of non-Catholics and "Cafeteria Catholics" alike, Holy Communion is the top sacrament of the church. It is supposed to indicate a firm commitment to Church teachings, rather than an empty gesture made only to make one feel better on Sunday mornings.

Archbishop Niederauer's letter was a strong indication that one of America's most prominent politicians may soon be denied the right to take the sacrament in San Francisco.

His letter also offered an olive branch, of sorts, with the Archbishop inviting Pelosi to meet with him to discuss the matter before she is actually denied Holy Communion.

"It is my obligation to teach forthrightly and to shepherd caringly, and that is my intent," said Archbishop Niederauer.

One can only hope that Pelosi will accept the opportunity to learn about Catholicism and abortion from an official with the credentials and knowledge to teach her the truth.

The big question: Does Nancy Pelosi have the moral fortitude to abandon abortion as an inalienable right in favor of respect for all forms of human life?

Obviously, that remains to be seen.

**********************************************************

And that's the way it was, the week of September 8, 2008.

Is "Community Organizer" the New N Word?

2008-09-10T20:45:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

Shortsighted Democrats are constantly on the prowl for a catch phrase or innocuous expression that can be twisted and manipulated into the immoral equivalent of the N word.

It is called race baiting, an evil practice that has been used for decades by Democrats to mask their lack of palatable solutions to the vital issues of the day.

Now a non-sighted nut ball, known more officially as New York Governor David Paterson, has weighed in by alleging that "community organizer" is racist code-speak for black.

Paterson is the blind, black, and bellicose adulterer-druggie who had the good fortune of being available when Governor Eliot Spitzer decided to spend more time with his family (and defense lawyers) last spring.

Sensing that fellow black Barack Obama was on the verge of a historic meltdown, Paterson recently decided to add his unique vision to the debate by saying, "At this point, Americans wouldn't tolerate a racial appeal. What I'm saying is that there are sneaky ways to try to hurt someone," he said.

Sneaky ways? Now that IS an outrage!

Now that the evils of slavery, Jim Crow, unequal justice, and racial profiling have been addressed, America still has to concern itself with "sneaky" words?

Good heavens, where the *F*** is George Carlin, now that we need him most desperately?

Reporter Don Dahler (see WCBST link) adds that "what disturbed Paterson most was what seemed like derisive laughter on the part of the Republicans at Obama's choice of helping his community rather than getting rich on Wall Street."

WCBST
http://wcbstv.com/politics/paterson.mccain.palin.2.813646.htm

Sneaky ways AND derisive laughter? That is downright un-American!

What has America come to when you have edgy Republicans running around deliberately using sneaky ways to hurt people, and then adding insult to injury with derisive laughter?

Clearly, America needs need tough new laws and a cabinet level department reporting directly to the president to investigate, detect, document, prosecute, and eradicate sneaky words and derisive laughter from the political process.

We could name the new law the "Fairness Doctrine," a suitable oxymoron for yet another foolhardy attempt by leftists to annihilate the First Amendment.

Just to show that the government really means business, let's really sock it to the fellow who maliciously attacked Sarah Palin with that sneaky "Lipstick on a Pig" jab, issued to elicit derisive laughter from gooey-eyed liberals not smart enough to recognize a meltdown by their candidate, even when said meltdown was taking place in front of their very eyes!

Still, perhaps there is a simple way to explain this community organizer conundrum so that weepy-eyed liberals like Governor Paterson can understand.

During the Viet Nam War, community organizers were the anti-war moon bats who evaded the military draft and rooted for victory by the North Vietnamese. They were NOT among the brave patriots who were held captive in North Viet Nam prisons, subjected to torture and great bodily harm on a daily basis for years and years.

Jane Fonda was a community organizer back in the 60s and 70s.

John McCain is an American hero and patriot who spent five years as a POW in North Viet Nam.

John McCain was NOT a community organizer!

See my point, Governor?

jwl
91008

Worse: Red Lipstick or Green Envy?

2008-09-10T07:51:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

A bitterly chastened Barack Obama is striking out like a rattlesnake in heat now that a gun-toting grandma from Alaska has stolen his thunder, absconded with his female voters, fleeced five million dollars from Chicago donors who should know better, and ripped off his mojo.

This is what happens in the big leagues of politics when a sexist community organizer casts off a 60s-something feminist and her 18 million votes like so many worthless American flags at a Democratic convention.

Things have gotten so nasty for the Messiah that some experts are no longer certain that the Anointed One will be resurrected and seated at the Right hand of power come November 4.

As one would expect from a community organizer who has never held a real job with adult responsibilities, Barack Obama is not handling this CHANGE well.

He was supposed to be the cool, calm, and collected miracle worker who, we were told, was so charismatic and personable that terrorists like Osama bin Laden and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would be hypnotized into helpless submission just by gazing into his Jihad eyes.

Terrorists who would normally enthuse at the prospects of stoning a woman to death for the unconscionable act of being a rape victim would be converted into Red Cross volunteers after just three or four minutes of spiritual meditation with the Anointed One.

However, all of that style and class escaped from Obama's persona when he slithered from the gutter and declared "Lipstick on a pig, still a pig," an ugly comment created by slimy left-wing bloggers in Obama's name.

At first blush, John McCain and Sarah appeared outraged by the Obama slam.

Until, that is, pollsters started to report that Obama's sexist drivel was driving women to the McCain-Palin ticket in droves.

Now the McCain-Palin team is praying that Obama will say something equally as idiotic again, as soon as possible.

Given enough Obama public statements to feast on, the McCain-Palin may be able to win the election without the need to campaign further.

Speak to us again, Holy Community Organizer!

Barack Obama's Cruel 9/11 Message

2008-09-09T11:03:00.001-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

America is about to commemorate the seventh anniversary of 9/11. We do so while embroiled in a hotly contested national election.

Under the circumstances, one would expect candidates from both major political parties to deliver inspirational eulogies on behalf of the 3,000 victims and their families, and to remind Americans of the urgent need to remain ever diligent in fighting Islamofascism.

Unfortunately, delivering uplifting cries of patriotism is simply not in the DNA of most liberals, including the erstwhile community coordinator now serving as standard bearer for the Democrat Party.

Rather than working to unify Americans in remembrance of that awful September morning and of the wars that must still be waged and won in order to preserve American independence and freedom, Democrat Barack Obama has made statements which suggest that he sides with terrorists.

As reported by Aaron Klein at wnd.com,

"Obama's comments about legitimate causes' of terror groups and 'root problems of causes and dangers' seems to echo little-noticed remarks the presidential candidate made eight days after 9/11 in which he said the attacks were carried out because of a lack of "empathy" for others' suffering on the part of al-Qaida, whose terrorist ideology 'grows out of a climate of poverty and ignorance, helplessness and despair.'

"Obama went on to imply the Sept. 11 attacks were, in part, a result of U.S. policy, lecturing the American military to minimize civilian casualties in the Middle East and urging action opposing 'bigotry or discrimination directed against neighbors and friends of Middle-Eastern descent.'

"Even as I hope for some measure of peace and comfort to the bereaved families, I must also hope that we, as a nation, draw some measure of wisdom from this tragedy," Obama wrote in a piece about 9/11 published Sept. 19, 2001, in Chicago's Hyde Park Herald."

WND:
http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=74702

All of which proves that, despite his protestations to the contrary, Obama was indeed paying attention during the terrorist-friendly rants delivered by Reverend Jeremiah Wright.

Furthermore, if Obama wants the U.S. to determine the "root causes" for 9/11, then he seems to be implying that ramming jumbo jets into New York City skyscrapers and the Pentagon might be more acceptable if we only knew WHY the terrorists decided to cremate 3,000 innocent Americans, while said victims were still alive.

Perhaps Mohamed Atta had a disturbed childhood in which he was unfairly denied the opportunity to become a suicide bomber, and 9/11 was his way of acting out against overly strict parents?

Or perhaps Osama bin Laden desires to murder tens of millions of Americans because, during his youth, he was molested by a gay mullah in an isolated cave?

Reality check: Perhaps Obama's "my Muslim faith," faux pas was not really a slip of tongue at all?

According to people who think like Obama and Representative Barbara Lee (D-CA), instead of attacking Al-Quaeda conclaves in Afghanistan in October, 2001, President Bush should have offered to meet with OBL and other Islamofascist terrorists to determine the "root causes" for the wanton murders on 9/11.

Hear ye, hear ye, progressive dim wits everywhere:

Islamofascists attacked America because they want to destroy our way of life and replace it with Sharia law and mandatory conscription into the army of Allah!

Period!

There is no romantic sub-plot here. Osama bin Laden and Al-Quaeda would incinerate every home in America if they were able because they hate Democracy, Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, atheism, feminism--everything that falls short of reverence for, and obedience to, Allah!

Granted that Barack Obama is much too young to know much about Pearl Harbor, another grave attack on America.

However, any man or woman who aspires to the presidency of the United States should make an honest attempt to understand history.

Pearl Harbor 101, for Obama and friends:

President Franklin Roosevelt and the U.S. Congress did NOT waste precious time trying to determine the "root cause" behind the Japanese attack that left 2,500 American sailors dead in Pearl Harbor!

Instead, America declared war on the enemy, took actions necessary to execute that war, remained steadfast in determination to win, and eventually did win the war!

The lesson? When Americans have been attacked and are at risk of being attacked again, damn legitimate claims and root causes!

To paraphrase President Bush, who despite all his other failings, has thus far prevented a second 9/11 from happening on his watch, "Either you are with us or you are against us!"

Which is it, Senator?

jwl

9/9/8

Would "Fairness Doctrine" Force Oprah to Interview Sarah?

2008-09-08T22:35:00.001-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

Oprah Winfrey's refusal to interview Sarah Palin will not cost the television mogul a regular viewer in my home.

There are no Oprah addicts here to begin with, have never been, and never will be because Winfrey's narrow-minded definition of herself as a "victim" is offensive.

Victim status legitimately goes to those fighting to feed their families and keep a roof over their heads, problems not often faced by billionaire talk show hostesses.

Winfrey is much like Michelle Obama in the sense that, despite being hugely successful and prosperous, both women harbor deep resentments against America.

Each refuses to credit America for the exceptional opportunities that have been afforded them; neither is grateful or "proud" to be American.

Winfrey apparently finds Sarah Palin "too white" for her television show. On the other hand, Barack Obama's skin pigmentation seemed to blend in nicely with Winfrey's biases and prejudices.

The big question: How might Winfrey react if she were forced to interview Sarah by a fascist government bent on enforcing the resurrected Fairness Doctrine?

jwl
9-8

Sarahmania! Drives Liberal Stooges Matthews and Olbermann off Air!

2008-09-08T12:09:00.000-07:00

Satire
By John W. Lillpop

As further evidence of the devastating power of Sarahmania!, executives at MSNBC have decided to clean up the polluted airwaves by removing liberal stench merchants Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann as anchors of live political events.

Matthews, who admits that he wets his pants in excitement when covering Barack Obama, will continue to disgrace journalism with "Hard Ball," a daily tragedy in which the host takes five minutes to ask each of his questions, and then refuses to allow assembled guests to answer.

Perhaps Matthews' narcissistic self-talk will be countered when liberals resurrect the Fairness Doctrine?

Olbermann, a failed and embittered sportscaster, will continue with "Countdown," another dismal embarrassment on a network that should know better. This untidy bundle of liberal insanity is still trying to remember how to count to 10, wasting valuable network time in the process.

Dr. Oscar Newton, Olbermann's behind the scenes psychiatrist, speaking on condition of anonymity, admits that he administers Prozac and Lithium cocktails to the least talented commie on television, just to keep Olbermann from having a full-scale nervous breakdown during prime time.

To its credit, MSNBC has made a major concession to objectivity and professionalism by expunging Matthews and Olbermann.

Viva Sarahmania!

Aborting Nancy Pelosi's Unholy Communion

2008-09-06T12:45:00.001-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

Nancy Pelosi is an intrepid progressive who rarely deviates from the basic tenets of liberalism, including devout worship of abortion rights, the Holy Grail of liberalism.

She is also a Catholic, a fact that would appear to be in direct conflict with her stance on abortion. In a recent stint on Meet the Press, Pelosi was asked to reconcile the conflict by host Tom Brokaw.

Pelosi's response shocked good Catholics, as well as some not-so-good ones, from coast to coast, and cast a pall over the mental health of the woman who stands third in line for succession to the United States presidency.

She essentially said that that church fathers, such as St. Augustine, had not defined over the centuries when life begins nor did they have a solid position on abortion.

Understand that Nancy Pelosi has never been mistaken for an intellectual, or a gifted genius with obvious potential to own Mensa.

Nor does the Lady bring the credentials of a theological scholar to the debate.

Still, by claiming that the Catholic Church does not own a solid position on abortion, Madam Speaker crashed through the incredulity ceiling with greater force than when she became the first woman Speaker of the United States House.

She also sent some Catholics into comatose shock upon learning of her confusion on an issue so critical to the teachings of the Catholic Church.

Then again, Pelosi lives in San Francisco where progressive ideology usually trumps religious values every day of the week, 24/7.

Living in The City has given Pelosi the luxury of residing in her make believe dream world without being challenged as to her eligibility to participate in Catholic rituals such as Holy Communion.

Until now, that is.

Egged on by Catholics angered by Pelosi's schizophrenic "have it both ways" behavior, San Francisco Archbishop George H. Niederauer may be about to put an end to Pelosi's Unholy Communion.

In a letter delivered to Pelosi's office, Archbishop Niederauer stated that local Catholics are pressuring him to forbid the California Democrat to receive Holy Communion because of her recent televised remarks favoring abortion.

For the benefit of non-Catholics and "Cafeteria Catholics" alike, Holy Communion is the top sacrament of the church. It is supposed to indicate a firm commitment to Church teachings, rather than an empty gesture made only to make one feel better on Sunday mornings.

Archbishop Niederauer's letter was a strong indication that one of America's most prominent politicians may soon be denied the right to take the sacrament in San Francisco.

His letter also offered an olive branch, of sorts, with the Archbishop inviting Pelosi to meet with him to discuss the matter before she is actually denied Holy Communion.

"It is my obligation to teach forthrightly and to shepherd caringly, and that is my intent," said Archbishop Niederauer.

WASHTIMES:
http://www.washtimes.com/news/2008/sep/06/pelosi-pastor-asks-to-meet-on-abortion/

One can only hope that Pelosi will accept the opportunity to learn about Catholicism and abortion from an official with the credentials and knowledge to teach her the truth.

The big question: Does Nancy Pelosi have the moral fortitude to abandon abortion as an inalienable right in favor of respect for all forms of human life?

Obviously, that remains to be seen.

jwl
9/6

A "Progressive" Checkist for Culling Out Racists

2008-09-05T09:40:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

As a point of reference, racist is formally defined as follows:

Racist - a person with a prejudiced belief that one race is superior to others.

In the on-line dictionary from which that definition was derived, the word "white" was omitted before the word "person," no doubt the product of biased editing by a red-necked scalawag from the Old South still immersed in denial.

Keeping the formal definition above in mind, compare it to the applications used by politically correct progressives, ever watchful for wedge issues with which to divide the American people.

According to progressives, you are a racist if you:

*Are on record as believing that American culture, including contributions made by angry white Christian men, has produced the greatest and most successful society in human history;

*Get goose bumps and shivers up and down your spine when Old Glory is feted or when the Star Spangled Banner is performed;

*Believe that America is a sovereign nation and, as such, perfectly justified in securing our borders against invasion by illegal aliens and other criminals;

*Believe that the rule of law is a basic tenet of American democracy, and, as such, inviolable;

*Support enforcement of the Immigration Reform Control Act of 1986;

*Are proud of the English language, and support making English the official language of commerce, law, education, and culture in America;

*Oppose affirmative action, bilingualism and other reverse discrimination outrages;

*Believe that the federal government should prevent illegal aliens from taking over American streets to demand rights and benefits reserved for U.S. citizens;

*Believe that Uncle Sam has an obligation to round up and deport illegal aliens, particularly during time of war;

*Believe that legislation is urgently needed to prevent illegal aliens from using "anchor babies" to circumvent U.S. law;

*Adamantly oppose amnesty, defined as anything short of deportation;

*Regard "Sanctuary Cities" as serious violations of federal law that should cause city officials to be arrested and prosecutedl

*Believe that in-state tuition breaks, driver's licenses, and other progressive hand outs serve only to attract even more illegal aliens and should be unlawful;

*Oppose the use of taxpayer funds to print ballots, government information, and educational materials in languages other than English;

*Own two or more American flags and participate in tawdry displays of excessive Americanism on Flag Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, and other patriotic holidays;

* Have knowingly registered or, perish the thought, voted Republican within the past 50 years;

*Have no concrete, verifiable plans to vote for Barack Obama;

*Have entertained even a single positive thought about John McCain, or a single negative impulse about Barack Obama, and

*Are Caucasian, or look suspiciously like a Caucasian.

Please note that this checklist does not apply to African-Americans, Hispanics, Asians, or Native Americans because people from those racial and ethnic backgrounds are genetically incapable of being racists!

jwl
9-5

Why the Gooey-Eyed Obsession With Bilingualism by Liberals?

2008-09-04T18:18:00.001-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

Just what is it about bilingualism that pushes certain liberals over the edge and into the streets as "Tower of Babel" sales sharks?

Take Barack Obama, for example.

Although the Anointed One rarely makes much sense, his cynical brand of extremism was particularly evident when he foolishly chided Americans for not being more language diverse.
This despite the fact that the Messiah is, himself, fluent only in English. Bilingual he is not, and not likely to become.

Obama's offensive language meddling reflects a gooey-eyed predilection for bilingualism common among confused liberals.

According to "progressive" standards, speaking at least two languages automatically makes one a better citizen of the world, more spiritual, more human, more deserving of everything including sexual pleasure.

Proficiency in three or more languages confers the honor of Intellectual Elitist on one so blessed, according to liberals.

Phooey!

Fact of the matter is that bilingualism is promoted in America for two equally scandalous reasons:

* To provide additional income for teachers who specialize in ripping off the public in multiple languages, a skill which earns said educators premium pay, and

* To pander to newcomers, including illegal aliens, who want all of the goodies accruing to those living in America, but who have absolutely no interest whatsoever in assimilating into American mainstream culture.

Despite the fact that English is the language of international business as well as being mandatory for those who work in the airline industry everywhere on the planet, many Hispanics are down right skittish when it comes to English.

For such people, bilingualism is cool, provided that the two languages involved are Mexican and Spanish.

When push comes to shove, these people inevitably stoop to charges of Racism! against Americans who advocate preservation of English as the language of commerce, law, education, government, and culture in these United States.

Unfortunately, liberals almost always join Hispanics in their bitter opposition to English; greedy Democratic politicians trolling for Hispanic votes are the culprits here.

However, while the left can be counted on to scream Racism! at anything even remotely resembling pro-English advocacy, these same warriors become dead silent when it comes to Hispanics and their fondness for Spanish.

How is it that American citizens who are strongly pro-English can be logically thought of as bigoted racists, while Hispanics who are just as ardently pro-Spanish (and anti-English) are not?

During his "talking down" to American parents about language diversity, Barack Obama went so far as to suggest that adults should assure that their children can speak and understand Spanish.

Time to wake up, Mr. Obama, and other out-of-touch liberals!

Trashing people for speaking their native tongue at home, and then nagging at them to learn a foreign language common to illegal aliens, may be cool for a "Community Organizer" in Illinois, but it is downright foolish for a man with his sights set on a White House in a very black neighborhood in Washington, D.C.

Rather than encouraging Americans to learn Spanish, Obama should remind Hispanic parents that English is the international language of business, and is increasingly so every day.

Hispanic parents with a genuine concern for the future well being of their children should make sure that those children can speak, write, and understand English. Fluently!

Which is not to say that proficiency in multiple languages should not be encouraged.

However, it is to say that first and foremost, children should be taught English. Nothing should interfere with achievement of that objective.

For enlightenment, consider what is happening in France:

As reported in the Daily Mail article found at the link, Xavier Darcos, France's Education Minister, has now admitted for the first time that the secret to success is speaking better English, and says that poor English is a 'handicap' because all international business is conducted in the language.

Darcos added that he wanted to make it easier for all French students to learn English, saying that 'while well-off families pay for study sessions abroad, I'm offering them to everyone right here.'

He went on to state that said French schools would offer extra English lessons during the holidays.

DAILYMAIL:

A final admonition to Hispanics: By all means, teach your children Spanish if that is your wish, but not until they are completely fluent and literate in English!

jwl
9-4

BREAKING NEWS: Obama Family Scandal!

2008-09-04T11:34:00.000-07:00

Satire By John W. Lillpop

Even though Barack Obama is seen by most Democrats as the Promised One of the New Age, the truth is that Obama is not invincible nor is he immune from being ambushed by a plethora of unpleasant revelations between now and November 4.

For example, some time ago Lynne Cheney unloaded a bombshell that could literally put an end to Obama's quest for the White House. Mrs. Cheney announced that her genealogical meddling had unearthed the fact that Vice President Dick Cheney and Democrat Barack Obama Are Eighth Cousins!

MSNBC:

How utterly clever it would be for Republicans to re-reveal that information just as the election wars start to heat up, knowing full well that Obama faces an uphill battle in trying to overcome the perception that he "is not black enough," for some African American voters.

Being found cavorting about in the Cheney family tree is unlikely to make Obama appear any blacker to already-skeptical African-Americans, and it could be the worst possible news for his campaign.

Possibly worse: Disclosure of the fact that Joseph Biden's youngest daughter became pregnant outside the institution of marriage, but defied her liberal upbringing by refusing to abort the child. Not that is an outrage!

Still, there are obvious similarities between Obama and Cheney:

To begin with, both are clean and articulate.

Both are committed to winning the war on terror. The only difference being that Cheney is pulling for America to win, while Obama seems partial to the Jihad bunch.

Both are concerned about illegal aliens. Cheney wants to let millions more in for cheap labor, Obama wants them here for cheap votes.

Both have deep respect for gays and lesbians. Cheney because of family, Obama, again, because of votes.

Cheney and Obama have sharp differences, too:

Obama would invade allies like Pakistan; whereas, Cheney prefers to invade nations with huge oil reserves and infrastructure ruined by "shock and awe" campaigns executed by the U.S. military.

Obama hates guns of all sorts, Cheney prefers to have a 28-gauge shotgun at the ready when needed to keep snotty lawyers on their toes.

Obama is pro-choice, Cheney believes that abortions rob America of the young men and women needed to invade and occupy foreign nations.

Obama is the picture of youth and health, Cheney is a crusty old bird with a wonky heart.

Final analysis: Barack Obama, You're no Ronald Reagan, but you may be Dick Cheney!

Give 'em Hell, Sarah!

2008-09-04T03:25:00.000-07:00

By John Lillpop

Oh, what a night!

Democrats and other enemies of America were put on notice, in no uncertain terms, that Republicans intend to wage holy war in order to preserve the institutions and values that have made ours the most successful society in human history.

Leading the call to battle this night was Sarah Palin, a drop-dead beautiful reformer who knows right from wrong, is not embarrassed by her old-fashioned values, and who is determined to do her part to prevent this great nation from falling into the hands of people who hate America and everything this nation stands for!

Sarah Palin was dynamic, tough-minded and forceful. She came out swinging against those naive enough to believe that being a "community organizer" provides one with sufficient experience and mettle to be president of the United States, when what America really needs is a commander-in-chief with the intelligence,courage,chutzpah, and experience to defend our nation against forces committed to destroying our nation, our Constitution, and our way of life.

Sarah Palin completely understands the fact that we live in a very dangerous world, one in which the president must be ready to do battle in order to survive. She is under no foolish illusion that simply talking to the likes of terrorists Osama bin Laden or Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will bring harmony or peace.

Sarah Palin does not live a fairy tale existence by pretending that there is no evil. She accepts the truth and knows sometimes the only way to defeat evil is through the use of force.

Some of Palin's most fiery rhetoric was reserved for the liberal mainstream media as in this warning:

"Here's a little news flash for all those reporters and commentators: I'm not going to Washington to seek their good opinion. I'm going to Washington to serve the people of this country."

With that, Sarah Palin set the stage for a fascinating donnybrook that will, over the next 61 days, determine whether or not our democracy will be here to serve our children and grandchildren in the years to come.

God Bless America and Sarah Palin!!

Liberals Mourn As Big Easy Survives Gustav

2008-09-02T08:53:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

With gleeful liberals and mainstream media vultures conjoined in readiness to celebrate the devastation of Hurricane Gustav as yet another legacy item in failed Republican governance, Mother Nature double-crossed the blood thirsty bleeding hearts by leaving New Orleans mostly intact.

By demoting Gustav to a Category 2 storm from the expected 5, Mother Nature rained on Labor Day festivities for leftists eagerly anticipating the sight of thousands of poor black folk abandoned in filthy flood waters and fighting for their very lives.

Instead of producing the expected "bump" for the Anointed One, urgently needed in light of his failure to make a difference with all that CHANGE double talk in Denver, Gustav kicked Big Easy in the groin with fierce winds and vile amounts of rain, but failed to deliver the loss of life and property that the left was desperately preying (spelling correct) for.

After all, a re-run of Katrina-like carnage held great promise for liberals as they schemed and connived to convert human misery into Democrat votes come November 4.

Without the loss of black lives and property to cheer them on, many liberals spent the long weekend wishing for additional home foreclosures, bank failures, and earthquakes, as well as sustained Category 5 strength from storms Helena, Ike and others still brewing in the Atlantic.

Notwithstanding liberal supplications for more human sacrifice as a means for getting out the vote, more awful news came their way, destroying what remained of the Holiday Spirit.

That is so because the once violence- riddled province of Anbar in Iraq was turned over to Iraqi forces, thanks to due diligence exercised by the Bush administration.

In announcing this tragic news (for Democrats), President Bush said, "Iraqi forces will now take the lead in security operations in Anbar, with American troops moving into an overwatch role," in a statement released by the White House.

Wasn't it Harry Reid who declared the war "lost" just a few short months ago? And wasn't it Barack Obama who voted against the surge, and who still refuses to admit that he was wrong?

Still, liberals scrounging about for morsels of human agony to trumpet imagined they had hit the jackpot when it was announced that Bristol Palin, daughter of VP nominee Sarah Palin, is with child, even though Bristol is but seventeen and unmarried.

However, more bad news looms for liberals, because that unborn fetus will not be discarded like so much unwanted animal waste as would be the case were the mother-to-be a liberal advocate of infanticide.

Yes, the young Palin girl had pre-marital sex, and yes that was a mistake.

But at least the Palin family will not murder the innocent, precious human life for the transgressions of the mother.

That truth will become obvious to caring Americans, and will ultimately be to the glory of the Palin family and their unwavering reverence for the sanctity of all human life.

Hurricane Gustav Exposes Evil, Insanity of Hateful Liberals

2008-09-01T08:02:00.001-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina three years ago, liberal Democrats, in concert with the liberal media, spared no fire in excoriating President Bush and his administration for failing to respond quickly and more effectively to the Category Five killer storm.

Particularly venomous liberals even went so far as to intimate that the Bush government moved slowly, and without appropriate urgency, only because most of Katrina's victims were poor black people.

According to hateful liberals still smarting from having their hides whipped into submission during consecutive presidential elections in 2000 and 2004, significant loss of black lives and property were not seen by the Republican president as sufficient reason to cut short his Crawford, Texas, vacation.

Never before has a natural disaster of epic proportions been so brutally manipulated for political gain as when Democrats used Katrina to bludgeon President Bush in 2005.

Until now, that is.

With Hurricane Gustav threatening to eclipse the horrors of Katrina, idiotic liberals (redundancy alert!) are making headlines again, this time by thanking God for his timing of the storm, and the probability that it will interfere with the Republican Convention.

Apparently "brilliant" liberals like former DNC Chairman Don Fowler and obesity clown Michael Moore believe that God is more than willing to kill a few thousand poor folks and make tens of thousands more of them homeless just to vent divine rage against fat cat Republicans.

Michael Moore, whose layers of ugly fat could feed thousands of refugees were it not for the toxicity of his blubber, had this inspiring message:

“I was just thinking, this Gustav is proof that there is a God in heaven,” Moore said, laughing. “To have it planned at the same time – that it would actually be on its way to New Orleans for day one of the Republican Convention, up in the Twin Cities – at the top of the Mississippi River.."

MOORE:

Moore was joined in his stupid hate speech by another single-digit IQ liberal, that being former DNC Chairman Don Fowler who weighed in with concern for those in Gutstav's path with these enlightened words:

"The hurricane’s going to hit New Orleans about the time they start. The timing is -- at least it appears now that it’ll be there Monday. That just demonstrates that God’s on our side. [Laughter] Everything’s cool."

ABC

Where, oh where, among those comments by "bleeding heart" liberals Fowler and Moore is the slightest empathy or concern for the thousands of poor Americans about to be devastated by Hurricane Gustav?

Again, the mindless drivel uttered by Michael Moore and Don Fowler proves that liberalism is the mother of hypocrisy!

Why Not Drivers' Licenses for Illegal Aliens?

2008-08-31T16:15:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

When it comes to pushing really stupid ideas, California state Senator Gilbert Cedillo is the Everready Bunny of demented politics.

For years, Cedillo has worked tirelessly trying to get California to grant drivers' licenses to invading criminals, most of whom share Cedillo's Hispanic ethnicity.

Only once, during the term of Governor Gray Davis, did the Cedillo annual assault on common sense actually become law.

Even then, the new law was short-lived because California voters wisely decided that Gray Davis was lacking sufficient Grey Matter to run the state; Davis was recalled, and voters installed Arnold Schwarzenegger in his place.

The Terminator quickly terminated the Cedillo folly, and the rest is history.

But what if Cedillo was actually right? Perhaps illegal aliens do deserve driver's licenses and a whole lot more?

Come to think of it, perhaps American taxpayers should be forced to give every illegal alien:

* A 3,500 square foot home located on 160 acres, title free and clear, and with a permanent exemption from property taxes?

* Free education at the university of his or her choice, including room and board, tuition, books and class materials? With no need to pass entrance exams or prove academic worthiness?

* At least two new SUVs per household and more as needed to assure upward mobility for all family members?

* Lifetime medical and dental care, free of charge?

* Free food and clothing?

* The latest and most sophisticated computing equipment and software available, including high-speed Internet connections?

* A laptop for every illegal lap?

* An annual all-expenses paid 30-day vacation to Mexico, including round trip fare and $5,500 petty cash?

* A free path to citizenship, including all immigration fees and attorney costs?

And why not go all out to make illegal aliens really feel comfortable?

Why not redo the Declaration of Independence, Constitution, and Bill of Rights in Spanish, amended as appropriate to assure full protection of illegal aliens as the largest and most vulnerable group of victims in America?

Why not require that all business transacted in the House and Senate be in Spanish?

Why not make Cinco de Mayo a national holiday and drop Independence Day (July 4th) in order to keep spending in line?

Why not move Washington, D.C. to Tijuana, Mexico, which is, after all, a more appropriate venue for a House (and Senate) of ill repute?

Bottom Line: Why not just step aside and let Mexican invaders re-make America into Mexico north?

That may be the only way to stop the invasion, because once America has decayed to a third-world sister of Mexico, invaders will have no reason to come here.

At that happy day, it will be more cost effective for freeloaders and scam artists to simply stay squatted in Mexico!

Brilliant strategery for ending illegal immigration, say what?

Hillary Is a B**** Because...

2008-08-29T15:13:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

Some narrow-minded women will howl with outrage when Hillary Clinton is characterized as a b****, arguing that that woman, whose disapproval numbers consistently hover around 50 percent, is just an assertive woman going after something.

According to such folk, Ms. Clinton is a victim of a right wing, misogynist conspiracy to deny Hillary her birthright, i.e., coronation as Queen of America.

So why, then, did Democrat voters give the b**** the heave ho in favor of a black Marxist with Jihad tendencies who is all about chasing fairy tales?

Truth will out. Observe please:

Hillary is a b**** because she is an elitist liar, fascist, and socialist who believes that America owes her the presidency because of her gender.

Hillary is a b**** because she does not respect the views of others, and will work ruthlessly to silence those with the audacity to disagree.

Hillary is a b**** because she behaved as though she was CO-president during the Bill Clinton presidency, an arrangement not approved by we the people.

Hillary is a b**** because she worked behind the scenes to concoct a program of forced socialized medicine, all the while ignoring the wishes of the American people.

Hillary is a b**** because she thought herself to be "inevitable" for the presidency, ignoring the fact that, in a Democracy, voters have a thing or two to say about whom will have squatter's rights in the Oval Office.

Hillary is a b**** because she lied unashamedly about landing under sniper fire in Bosnia to puff up her dubious "ready on day one" credentials, when, in fact, she was greeted by young girls bearing flowers.

Hillary is a b**** because she ridiculed decent American women who "Stand by Your Man," even though she stood by Bill Clinton as he engaged in countless episodes of promiscuity and adultery, including a sultry affair with an intern right under Hillary's nose in the White House.

Hillary is a b**** because she tolerated Gennifer Flowers, Kathleen Wiley, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky and all the rest not out of respect or love for the presidency or the man, but because leaving Slick Willie would have forced her to abandon all the power, fame, and fortune that accrues to those lucky enough to be First Lady.

Hillary is a b**** because she pretends that being a tough-minded, bossy feminist in pant suits qualifies her to be President of The United States, when, in fact, all of her success is the direct result of her marriage to Bill Clinton.

Hillary is a b**** because she rails against "obscene" profits by the oil industry while she and her husband have become obscenely rich by pawning off absurd trite as thoughtful and insightful revelations about their years in the White House.

In short, Hillary Clinton is a b**** because of her rigid intolerance, dishonesty, and wrong headed liberalism!

McCain Eschews Old White Guys, Embraces REAL Change!

2008-08-29T11:36:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

John McCain's announcement concerning Sarah Palin as his running mate has sent Team Obama and the mainstream media into comatose shock, a malady from which they may not fully recover until well after November 4.

Those who delight in gloating while watching liberals eat crow are hoping that Democrats and the media recover in time to witness the McCain swearing in ceremony on January 20, 2009.

McCain's brilliant counter punch to Obamamania pits a beautiful 40-something woman of integrity, intelligence, and warmth against a balding "old school" white guy with plagiarism as his only certifiable talent.

Guess who best represents positive change in the upcoming election?

Hint: It is not that US Senator from Delaware who has been on the public dole for 35 years, and who happens to be the poster child for the status quo.

Rather, it is a young, bright female Governor who brings freshness and innocence to the fray at a time when most Americans are fed up with phony Messiahs and other creations of the liberal media who promise change, but who deliver only tired old rhetoric and simplistic double talk.

Sarah Palin's ascension to national prominence
should be terrific news to disillusioned Hillary fans looking for a female-friendly candidate to vote for!

Behold, rejected Clintonistas everywhere:

John McCain and Sarah Palin represent real change and real hope for women!

Hillary Is a Bitch Because...

2008-08-27T16:39:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

Most liberals will howl incessantly when Hillary Clinton is characterized as a bitch, arguing that that woman, whose disapproval numbers consistently hover around 50 percent, is just an assertive woman going after something.

According to such folk, Ms. Clinton is a victim of a right wing, all-male conspiracy to deny her her birthright, i.e., coronation as Queen of America.

So why, then, did Democrat voters give the bitch the heave ho in favor of a black Marxist with Jihad tendencies who is all about chasing fairy tales?

Truth will out. Observe please:

Hillary is a bitch because she is an elitist liar, fascist, and socialist who believes that America owed her the presidency because of her gender.

Hillary is a bitch because she does not respect the views of others, and will work ruthlessly to silence those with the audacity to disagree.

Hillary is a bitch because she behaved as though she was CO-president during the Bill Clinton presidency, an arrangement not approved by we the people.

Hillary is a bitch because she worked behind the scenes to concoct a program of forced socialized medicine, all the while discounting the needs and wishes of the American people.

Hillary is a bitch because she thought herself to be "inevitable" for the presidency, ignoring the fact that, in a Democracy, voters have a thing or two to say about whom will have squatter's rights in the Oval Office.

Hillary is a bitch because she lied unashamedly about landing under sniper fire in Bosnia to puff up her dubious "ready on day one" credentials, when, in fact, she was greeted by young girls bearing flowers.

Hillary is a bitch because she ridiculed decent American women who "Stand by Your Man," even though she stood by Bill Clinton as he engaged in countless episodes of promiscuity and adultery, including a sultry affair with an intern right under Hillary's nose in the White House.

Hillary is a bitch because she tolerated Gennifer Flowers, Kathleen Wiley, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky and all the rest not out of respect or love for the presidency or the man, but because leaving Slick Willie would have forced her to abandon all the power, fame, and fortune that accrues to those lucky enough to be First Lady.

Hillary is a bitch because she pretends that being a tough-minded, bossy feminist in pant suits qualifies her to be President of The United States, when, in fact, all of her success is the direct result of her marriage to Bill Clinton.

Hillary is a bitch because she rails against "obscene" profits by the oil industry while she and her husband have become obscenely rich by pawning off absurd trite as thoughtful and insightful revelations about their unfortunate occupation of the White House.

In short, Hillary Clinton is a bitch because of her rigid intolerance,dishonesty and wrong headed liberalism.

And that's the way it is!

Flip-Flopping on Change!

2008-08-25T09:40:00.001-07:00

Satire By John W. Lillpop

If flip flopping were an Olympic event, Barack Obama would have won enough gold medals to buy all of those missing McCain mansions outright, and still have sufficient scratch left to treat Oprah Winfrey to lunch.

By naming Joe Biden as his running mate, the Anointed One has set an all-time world record for prevarication, said record subject to being superseded by Obama himself, at any time, without advance warning.

Oddly enough, this fellow was supposed to be all about CHANGE, CHANGE, and still more CHANGE, remember?

To date, the only CHANGE that Obama has consistently brought to the table is an all- too- frequent change of his bloody mind on vital issues of the day!

Nominating Joe Biden for the vice presidency to run under the banner of CHANGE is another stunning example of Obama's inexperience, lack of commitment to anything except acquisition of raw power, and world class flip- flop skills.

Good grief, with 35 years under his belt in the US Senate, Senator Joseph Biden is the quintessential Washington insider. If ever there was a poster child for the anti-change status quo, it would be the senior senator from Delaware!

More Proof: Democrat Joe Biden has not changed his hairpiece in 20 years!

Oh, and by the way, Joe Biden will be 66 in October.

Which means that Biden is darn near as old as John McCain and is a smidgen older than Hillary Clinton is.

According to ageist hate speech used by Team Obama against both McCain and Hillary, they are "old school" fogies," out of touch with any American who can still walk about on his or her own, and for whom sex is more important than comfortable dentures and a clean bed pan.

Fathoming why Biden's 66 trumps McCain's 72, or Hillary's 61, when it comes to being in sync with younger voters is beyond this writer's pay grade. As such, it is best left for historians to sort out in the decades to follow.

Biden has other shortcomings, including the fact that he is an angry white male and an attorney.

Which begs the following question: Can the American electorate, starved as it is for CHANGE, be placated by placing an old, angry white male with a law degree just a heart beat away from the presidency?

Still, this is Obama's show, and there ARE positive qualities that Biden brings to the ticket:

First and foremost, Joseph Biden is NOT Hillary Rodham Clinton.

In and of itself, that is enough to endear Biden to millions of voters who would like to keep the White House "b**** free," for at least four more years.

Next, Biden has a unique capacity for sticking his foot into his mouth with inappropriate, politically incorrect, and or incendiary remarks.

If fact, if sticking your foot in your mouth was an Olympic event, Joe Biden would have nearly as much gold to his credit as Obama, flip-flopping champ of all time.

How might Biden's non-stop adventures in a quagmire of faux pas benefit the ticket?

Elementary, really: It will keep snoopy news reporters pre-occupied with chasing down the latest "Biden Eruption."

Thus, the media will be too busy to delve into Obama's Jihadist past, involvement with sleazy underground characters, or his relationship with his half-brother, left to wilt in abject poverty in Kenya.

Some might ask, "But, what about Biden's despicable dabbling in plagiarism?"

Friends, this is what makes the Obama-Biden bonding so special:

Barack Obama has never written anything worth stealing, so all his jottings would be perfectly safe, even with Joseph Biden free to roam the White House!

jwl
8-24

With All Those Homes, Perhaps McCain Should Rescue Obama's Brother?

2008-08-22T11:49:00.000-07:00

Satire By John W. Lillpop

John McCain continues to be pummeled hither and yonder for marrying a woman smarter and more successful that himself,
a charge that has never been leveled against Barack Hussein Obama.

Funny that.

A real stinker, this latest kerfuffel, as it shows the big bad Republican McCain so out of touch with average Americans that he has lost track of his (wife's!) mansions.

So, while millions of Americans face the loss of their homes through foreclosure, the McCain real estate empire cannot even remember how many estates they have title to.

Double shame on America, especially those with the audacity of success!

Just as news concerning McCain's inability to count to seven was being parlayed into accusations of racism, elitism, and old age dementia by Team Obama, the news wires became flooded with stink about this Obama character himself.

Seems as though America's favorite black, Jihad, Marxist has a half-brother (does that make the dude a half-sister, ergo a bisexual?) who lives in Kenya on wages approximating $1.00 a month.

Just for perspective that is equal to one hundred US pennies every 30 days, before taxes, of course.

The half-brother should thank God or Allah, as the case may be, that Obama is not running for public office in Kenya, because 50 percent or more of those 100 pennies might be stolen by Obama's "progressive" tax plan should the Anointed One prevail.

Sadly for America, but fortunately for the impoverished brother, Kenya is too black for Obama, who still fosters this fairy tale about living in a White House in a very black neighborhood in Washington, D.C.

Given the fact that Barack Obama has turned his Marxist back on his poor brother, John McCain has been given a golden opporunity to do the magnanimous thing.

Specifically, John McCain should "pull an Oprah" by announcing that Obama's better half brother will be flown to the States, at McCain's expense, and housed in one of those seven mansions that the aging senator has misplaced. Free of charge!

Can you see the headlines?

Compassionate Conservatism Breaking News: John McCain Rescues Obama's Brother!

That should play havoc with the polls, say what?

America Being Blitzed by Leftist Wolf!

2008-08-19T11:18:00.001-07:00

Satire, Courtesy of John W. Lillpop

This is not meant to demean Wolf Blitzer, CNN's top political analyst and part-time kosher food vendor. He is probably a perfectly fine and decent chap, worthy of every wooden nickel he can extort from the corrupt moguls who run CNN and Time Magazine.

Nonetheless, a spate of compassionate conservatism forces me to ask, What sort of parent would deliberately name a child Wolf to go with the surname Blitzer?

Does not the eighth Amendment to the US Constitution protect citizens from cruel and unusual punishment of the type haunting Blitzer?

Naming a child Wolf Blitzer is about as nasty as one can get, except for handing down the name Lillpop to a defenseless new born.

In fact, the physician who delivered this Lillpop was so concerned about the potential emotional harm that "Lillpop" might cause that he scribbled "TBD" in the last name of my birth certificate.

Mum penciled through "TBD" and entered "SOB," never fully appreciating the irony of that vicious attack. Out of a deep-abiding respect and inheritance considerations, I never argued the point with her.

By now, it is clear that my doctor was dead wrong--being named Lillpop has not kept me down or interfered with my path to success.

Inheriting my mother's wonky DNA has exacted a miserable toll, but my last name has had little, or nothing, to do with a lifetime of institutional-quality insanity.

Judging from his success as a famous national television star, Wolf Blitzer has not suffered too greatly because of his strange moniker.

When I first heard the name Wolf Blitzer, I thought it was the stage name for some whacked out football analyst, unemployable except when assigned to cover crushed skulls, broken bones, and copious amounts of spilled blood on Sunday mornings.

As it turns out, Wolf Blitzer is the real name of a whacked out liberal who never leaves the "Situation Room" at CNN, except when there is a full-moon, at which time he produces "Braying With Wolf," available for a nominal fee as an Ipod download.

Again, this is not to demean Wolf in any way. He is an elitist lefty, true, but he is very bright--for a liberal!

Consider some of the most inspired quotes from Wolf *:

"Mr. President, haven't you been watching the news? Katrina hit New Orleans five days ago. The city is flooded. Many people are homeless, desperate for food and water. They're wondering why it's taking so long for the government to send help.”

On this one, Wolf sort of got out of sync with reality.

Anyone with even a vague understanding of the relationship between Nazism and Republican politics knows that President Bush watches FOX News, and only Fox News!

Everyone except Wolf was also aware of the fact that during the overkill coverage of Katrina by the liberal media, FOX ran old Amos and Andy flicks non-stop!

It is called "Fair and Balanced," Wolf baby!

How about this Wolf dilly?

"It is time for the United States, as the sole recognized intermediary, to consider more forceful action for peace."

This quote was apparently put together immediately after Wolf interviewed President Bush while the two supped Kosher, non-alcoholic iced tea in the green room outside the set of the Situation Room.

You can see Dubya's lip prints all over those crazy words, "Forceful Action for Peace."

Roughly translated into Duybaspeak, the term means, "America must invade Iran now, before evil doers destroy the Middle East come January 20, 2009!"

No doubt, Wolf had another meaning in mind.

Then there is this unforgettable line:

"Guess what, there's another bomb out there, it is going to kill a lot more, but I'm not telling you where it is.”

This is a bit of a tease, because no one knows for sure exactly what Wolf was referring to.

Nonetheless, Dr. John Lilypompous, speaking on condition of anonymity, conjectures that this quote flowed from the lips of Wolf just before CNN announced that George W. Bush had been re-elected to a second term in 2004!

That's NOT the way it is, and thank the Lord for small favors!

Wolfman: Blitzing America with liberal bias and propaganda from the Situation Room in Atlanta!

* Source:

All-American Colors: Gold, Wrapped in Red, White, and Blue!

2008-08-17T09:40:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

In a magnificent tribute to the superiority of American culture, language, and food, Michael Phelps has once again rewritten history by earning his unprecedented eighth Olympic gold medal of the 2008 Olympics.

Bravo to the young man in red, white, and blue who may have to move to Fort Knox, Kentucky for security reasons, so much gold has he acquired.

Phelps' timing is particularly excellent, coming as it does just as the Democrat Party is about to nominate an America-hating Marxist with Jihadist tendencies in the personage of Barack Obama to be 44th president of the United States.

Each and every American citizen who truly loves America will join in the celebration of Michael Phelps, while praying for the political demise of Barack Hussein Obama.

For the full story of Michael Phelps and his conquest of the world, see the link below.

God Bless America and Michael Phelps!

Source:

Democrat Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick Belongs in Denver!

2008-08-15T14:42:00.000-07:00

Satire Courtesy of John W. Lillpop

Shame on Barack Obama, Howard Dean, and all of the other "inclusive" liberals for ripping the Welcome mat out from under Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick at the convention site in Denver.

According to an AP report, "Barack Obama doesn't want Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and his legal troubles to be a distraction at the upcoming Democratic National Convention."

AP:

What a hypocritical outrage!

All of this scorn heaped upon Da Mayor just because he faces eight felony charges in a perjury case and two felony charges in an assault case.

Why should "alleged" behavior prevent the Democrat mayor of a major American city from serving as a superdelegate during the crowning of America's presumptive 44th president and First-ever Messiah?

After all, the Democrats have cleared the way for former President Bill Clinton, a perjurer and sexual predator, to address the assembled masses.

Democrats are mostly felons and liars anyhow, so what is the point?

Why not show the same level of respect for Mayor Kilpatrick as is being extended to an impeached president?

What is that you say? By court order, Kilpatrick must wear an electronic monitoring device as part of his bond in an assault case?

So just what the hell do Democrats have against poor black dudes manacled to electronic monitoring devices by racist judges?

In truth, that electronic monitoring devise is all the more reason for welcoming Kilpatrick to the festivities since he will be a living, breathing testament to the shackles still enslaving black Americans.

A shackled Mayor Kilpatrick would be a perfect illustration of why CHANGE, ALA Barack Obama, is so vital to America!

Two words of wisdom for team Obama:

Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick Belongs in Denver! and,

Let Kilpatrick be Kilpatrick!

jwl
8-15

At Least John Edwards Did Not Lie Under Oath!

2008-08-08T17:40:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

With all the bloody infighting, back stabbing, and nut cutting going on between Democrats these days, it is questionable whether this party of asses can survive long enough to hold their convention in Denver on August 25-28.

In the latest kerfuffel, former senator and presidential candidate John Edwards has admitted to an extramarital affair with one Rielle Hunter. Ever conscious of his image, Edwards made sure to point out that his tryst with Hunter happened while wife Elizabeth's cancer was in remission.

That is sure to endear the jerk to hypocritical liberals eager to point out that Republican Newt Gingrich dumped his wife while she was being treated in a hospital.

However, other Democrats are wondering if Edwards should skip this convention, thereby saving the party loads of bad PR and embarrassment in an extremely tight election cycle.

Hoever, there is a complication: Democrats have just agreed to let Slick Willie, the president, sex addict, and perjurer who gave us "I did not have sex with that woman," address the conventioneers during prime time.

On what basis, then, can the asses deny Edwards the right to make a fool of himself in front of party faithful and millions of television viewers?

John Edwards has another distinct moral advantage over Slick Willie: He did not lie under oath!

In fact, the rising star, now in descent, let it all hang out when he said, in part, the following:

"If you want to beat me up – feel free. You cannot beat me up more than I have already beaten up myself. I have been stripped bare and will now work with everything I have to help my family and others who need my help."*

Given that naked mea culpa, I say kick Slick Willie off the stage and let John Edwards have his say.

After all, a humble Democrat willing to be beaten up may be just what voters are lusting for in 2008!

*

LATIMES:

Voter Fraud: Without It, Democrats Cannot Win!

2008-08-07T05:16:00.001-07:00

Satire By John W. Lillpop

With the election less than 90 days away and John McCain showing no reliable signs of a disabling injury or worse, Barack Obama and the Democratic National Committee (DNC) have decided to use a campaign strategy that has served Democrat candidates well in the past.

Liberals call it Voter Outreach, but federal and state election officials prefer a less PC term that is more precise: Voter Fraud.

Voter fraud has been in the Democrat Party's bag of tricks for generations. Without it, John Fitzgerald Kennedy would have lost the presidency to Richard M. Nixon in 1960.

Further, without the humiliation of the 1960 loss in his craw, President Nixon would have not delivered his infamous "You won't have Nixon to kick around" speech after losing a bid to become governor of California in 1962, and he would not have authorized the Watergate break-in of DNC headquarters in 1972.

Therefore, Nixon would not have been forced to resign, and America would not have burdened with the presidencies of Lyndon Johnson, Gerald Ford, and Jimmy Carter.

Spiro Agnew, Nixon's actual vice president in 1968, might have been elected president after Nixon, setting the stage for the first arrest of a sitting president in US history as federal agents would have kicked in the door to the Oval Office and perk-walked the handcuffed Agnew away for accepting bribes.

With no Spiro Agnew to serve as hit man during the first Nixon term, Americans would have been denied these classic quotes from the conservative icon:

"Ultra-liberalism today translates into a whimpering isolationism in foreign policy, a mulish obstructionism in domestic policy, and a pusillanimous pussyfooting on the critical issue of law and order. "

Moreover, what would history be without Agnew's most famous assault on the media?

"In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism."

But back to 2008 and the contemptible scheming by DNC Chairman Howard Dean and Obama to steal the election.

According to insiders, Dean and Obama have ordered an all out effort to appease, cajole, bribe, extort, blackmail, and all other forms of physical and emotional treachery needed to influence all members of the Obama core constituency.

That would be sleeper cells, illegal aliens, felons, and the Dearly departed.

Sleeper cells could be a veritable gold mine of opportunity in which to troll for Obama votes.

With his three Muslim names --Barack Hussein Obama--and history of taking spiritual guidance from a pastor who blames the US for 9/11, Obama seems a shoo-in to capture the sleeper cell vote on November 4.

After all, what dedicated Jihadist and dues-paying sleeper cell dude would skip over Barack Hussein Obama in order to vote for an alleged conservative and lily-white Christian crusader named John McCain?

When it comes to illegal aliens, Obama again appears to have a clear edge. It will be recalled that he talked down to US citizens by insisting that Americans should learn Spanish, the preferred language to millions of aliens here illegally.

Obama added to his anti-rule of law credentials by promising to deliver amnesty to all "law-abiding illegal aliens," a newly minted oxymoron created for the specific purpose of pandering to Hispanics.

With regard to felons, Democrats are particularly sensitive to ruthless laws that prohibit this abused demographic from voting. Minority felons are a party favorite since the overwhelming majority of felons are black and Hispanic Democrats, ergo, potential Democrats.

Another natural fit for Dean and Obama!

When it comes to the Dearly Departed demographic, Obama comes out on top again.

Current Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley is the offspring of Mayor Richard J. Daley, the man who elected John F. Kennedy by padding the Democrat vote totals with Cook County residents long since expired, thereby titling Illinois to JFK, and sending a disgruntled Richard Nixon back to California in search of a governor's mansion to haunt.

By focusing on sleeper cells, illegal aliens, felons, and the deceased, Obama will be able to avoid wasting money and time on campaign stops dominated by bitter Americans who worship guns and the Holy Bible.

That should allow Obama to mount a most formidable campaign.

Voter Fraud: Without It, Democrats are hopeless!

Jose Medellin Chokes on "Virgin Blood"!

2008-08-06T08:46:00.000-07:00

By John W. Lillpop

Fifteen years ago, Jose Medellin participated in the murder and rape of Jennifer Lee Ertman, 14, and Elizabeth Pena, 16.

A story in the Dallas News describes the carnage as follows:

"It was the start of a savage hourlong attack by Medellin, then 18, and five fellow gang members, who raped the girls and forced them to perform sex acts before beating then strangling them with a belt and shoelaces. It would be four days before their bodies, decomposing in the Houston heat, were found. By then Medellin already had boasted to friends about having 'virgin's blood' on his underpants."

Fifteen years later, the great state of Texas extracted a partial measure of justice from the sub-human illegal alien. The good news was reported by the Houston Chronicle with these words:

"Medellin was pronounced dead at 9:57 p.m., nine minutes after the lethal dose was administered." (Texas is on Central time.)

No doubt, the death certificate will list ''lethal injection' as the official cause of Medellin's death. It could just as easily read, "Choked on Virgin Blood," in reference to the jocular celebration that came back to haunt Medellin late in the day on August 5, 2008.

Many people who normally support the death penalty were opposed this time because of the supposed violation of international treaties and the potential future harm that could be visited upon Americans incinerated in foreign lands.

That argument is surely of great merit in learned legal circles, but any American who has committed the types of heinous crimes attributed to Medellin does not, in my view, deserve a great deal of sympathy.

Simply being an American does not justify behavior ordained by Satan.

Politically, the liberal media and politicians will abandon all common sense in rushing to the defense of the departed killer, while forgetting the grotesque end he gleefully brought to Jennifer Lee Ertman and Elizabeth Pena.

A strong message must be delivered to those who moan when justice wins the day:

Forget about wringing your hypocritical hands in angst over the likes of Jose Medellin! Instead, join forces with reasonable Americans to prevent thugs like Medellin and Edwin Ramos (San Francisco sanctuary city killer) from invading this nation to begin with!

Of Manny Ramirez, Anxious SF Giants Fans, & the Golden Gate Bridge

2008-08-04T19:56:00.001-07:00

Satire By John W. Lillpop

Die-hard fans of the Los Angeles Dodgers were delighted to learn that the club had acquired superstar Manny Ramirez in a three way trade with the Boston Red Sox and Pittsburgh Pirates.

With Ramirez in the lineup this weekend, the Dodgers whipped the Arizona Diamondbacks twice in three tries, to move back to within one game of first place in the National League West.

Manny smashed two dingers (home runs) and now has eight hits in 13 at-bats since joining the Dodgers on Friday last. His arrival should make the Dodgers the favorite to win the NL West pennant, especially since star pitcher Brad Penny is slated to resume his position in the starting rotation later this week against San Francisco.

Rafael Furcal, shortstop and spiritual guru for the Men in Blue, will rejoin the team at the start of September, another move that should help Da Bums make the playoffs, and more, this season.

Think about it: In the most critical "dog days" of summer, Los Angeles will have added an All Star pitcher and two future Hall of Fame position players to the roster.

What is that you say? Sounds like a sixth World Series Championship headed to the LA Dodgers' trophy case?

Perhaps, but after the colossal choke-job by the San Francisco Giants in the 2002 World Series, it's wise not to count championship rings before the fourth series victory is final, and indelibly entered in the record books.

Meanwhile, speaking of San Francisco, the sad sack Giants continue to march relentlessly toward their fourth consecutive losing season. And while the Los Angeles Dodgers have won five world championships, the San Francisco Giants have never had that honor.

Given the generation divide between players in their 20s and 40s on this roster, the 2008 Giants resemble a father-son entry in a fast-pitch beer league, rather than a bonafide team in the National League.

Now that Barry Bonds is no longer a Giant, the only reason for going out to AT&T Park is to watch once-arrogant Giants' fans grovel in drunken misery as the losses for their beloved G-men keep piling up!

Enterprising taxi cab drivers are cashing in by offering one-way, discount fares from the ball yard straight away to the nearest vacant ledge on the Golden Gate Bridge (GGB) from which disgusted Giants fans can drown their sorrows, and selves, in one final act of desperation.

Fans intent on ending it all are cautioned to do so before the seventh inning to avoid traffic jams and long jumping lines on the bridge.

After finally conceding that the 2008 Giants are not headed for post-season play, team management appears committed to proving that the San Francisco Giants can lose 100 games without a 44 year old cripple and indicted steroids addict in left field.

Why spend $20 million a year on an alleged steroids junkie and perjurer when left field can be turned over to a 21-year old illegal alien drug dealer from Mayor Gavin Newsom's sanctuary city?

After all, convicted felons shielded from deportation by Mayor Newsom's goofy program will play for minimum wage plus commissions earned by selling dope to distressed fans seeking refuge under the bleachers while waiting for cabs to the GGB.

There is another terrific reason to visit AT&T Park: 2008 marks the 50th anniversary of the great move from New York and Brooklyn by Horace Stoneham of the Giants and Walter O'Malley of the Dodgers, who escaped to San Francisco and Los Angeles, respectively, in the greatest scandal involving child abandonment ever recorded in the long and storied history of baseball.

Above all else, Happy Anniversary New York and Brooklyn!